#simon lasker

X-Men Gold (2017) #32

Three times? Good job, Bobby!

They have to go to X-Men stuff at this point, and the fact that they've slept together isn't really ever addressed again (and Simon leaves the team soon after). The only other significant interaction between them is during Bobby's birthday party in Uncanny X-Men: Winter's End:

No, I cannot explain Simon's Beatles hair or anything about his outfit. Also, Bobby proceeds to wander off and hang out with the Morlocks after this, although we do see someone in his bed the next morning who is presumably supposed to be Simon, though if you look closely, the clothes on the floor don't match what either of them are wearing in this scene. This is 100% a coloring error but if you think I can't find an in for Bobby/Daken in there...

Anyway. Simon dies ignominiously very early in the Krakoa era, although since it's Krakoa presumably they resurrected him? But we haven't seen him since, and the original Pyro was running around again (with Bobby, actually, in the 2019 Marauders series) so maybe it wasn't a priority.

Simon's...fine? Despite the fact that he has powers and is an X-Man, he has significantly less personality than Judah. He's just kind of there. I enjoy how thirsty he is for Bobby. (This is consistent, boys love Out Bobby Drake and I love that for him.) I like that Bobby's getting to have fun and sow his wild oats but there's just not a lot of there there with this one. Oh well, on to the next!

Christian Frost

They were so obviously picking Bobby's love interests based on wordplay and for any other character I would be rolling my eyes, but for Bobby it's fitting.

Christian is Emma Frost's older brother, who was driven to deep depression and substance abuse by their abusive, homophobic father. Eventually their dad decided to get Christian "help" by sending him to conversion therapy, then institutionalizing him after a suicide attempt. When he suddenly pulls Christian out of the institution to run the family business, Emma smells a rat and brings Bobby with her to check on her brother. It turns out Christian has killed their father, seemingly while in some kind of dissociative state, and is now using his heretofore unknown psionic powers to project a version of his dad to abuse himself with...and also to attack Bobby and Emma with.

Bobby invites Emma to psychically project herself and Christian into his mind so they can try to get through to him, and fights the Daddy Frost projection while Emma talks Christian down. This...basically cures Christian forever, I guess? He shows up at Bobby's birthday party in Uncanny X-Men: Winter's End to thank Bobby for saving his life and sanity, and Bobby is...weirdly hostile to him for some reason.

Christian casually throwing the teacup on the ground is so funny to me.

Bobby doesn't keep the money, but I guess it changes his mind on Christian in general, because the next time we see Christian, it's Krakoa-era, and he and Bobby are lovers:

Marauders (2019) #5

Unlike with Simon, Bobby and Christian are dating, not just hooking up. They're together for about two and a half years of real time, and we see them demonstrating actual emotional intimacy:

Marauders Annual (2019) #1

Okay this is weird to explain but basically another mutant is projecting an idealized prom for them to attend in a dream while stepping all over Christian's shitty dad's face. But like. You don't do that with your casual fuck buddy. You do that with your boyfriend.

That said, while I like Christian and I think he and Bobby are fun together, this relationship never feels at all passionate...like, it reads to me like something they're both doing to pass the time, not because they actually have strong feelings for each other. And Bobby does keep Christian at a bit of an emotional arm's length—when Kitty dies (she gets better), he refuses to open up to Christian about his grief. They're fine together but they're not interesting.

Bobby and Christian eventually break up because, as Bobby puts it, while they "admire and care for each other," it wasn't going anywhere serious, and Bobby wants "old-fashioned romance."

Interestingly, when Bobby's dad dies, Christian is the person he immediately runs to for comfort, despite the fact that he's just reconnected with Romeo (see below). They sleep together again, and in the morning Christian basically tells Bobby that it's okay if he's somewhat relieved that his (homophobic, mutantphobic, racist) dad is dead, and that he doesn't have to measure his self-worth by how strong his mutant powers are. It's a great scene, definitely the most interesting Christian has ever been, and the most interesting Bobby and Christian's relationship has ever been. They are kind of boring boyfriends, but they're great exes.

Marvel's Voices Infinity Comic #3

Romeo

Bobby originally came out because teenage versions of the original five X-Men time traveled to the present day and got stuck. Teen Jean told Teen Bobby that he was gay (it's a controversial scene, I actually don't have a problem with it, we can discuss it elsewhere), Teen Bobby admitted that she was right, and decided to come out since he appeared to be stuck in a less homophobic time period...which necessitated Adult Bobby coming out since they're the same person.

Then Teen Bobby started trying to date boys, which was initially a disaster because if you think this man is a goober, you should meet the teenage version of him. That's when he ran into Romeo:

All-New X-Men (2016) #13

Um, hello??? Baby Romeo has so much game??? Poor Bobby, he never stood a chance. (Unfortunately there are three distinct Romeo personalities and it's all downhill from here.)

Anyway, PLOT TWIST, it turns out that Romeo is an Inhuman! (Specifically, one with empathy powers.) Which is awkward because at the moment, things are tense between mutants and Inhumans, but Bobby and Romeo like each other, so they start dating. This makes Romeo Bobby's first boyfriend, although Adult Bobby had not experienced this when he was with Judah or Simon. (By the time he starts dating Christian, Teen Bobby had gone back to his proper place in the timeline and Adult Bobby had absorbed his memories, so he remembers being with Romeo.)

All-New X-Men (2016) #17

This is so cute I can't stand it. They are PRECIOUS. There's a whole montage of their dates in this issue, and just...if you only read one issue with Romeo, make it this one. ADORABLE.

Buuuut then war breaks out between the X-Men and the Inhumans, and now you know why Romeo's name is Romeo. Bobby is very upset, and basically goes rogue during a mission to go find Romeo and run away with him instead of fighting. They have their first kiss here, it's all very teenage and dramatic and sweet.

The war between the X-Men and the Inhumans ends, things with Bobby and Romeo are briefly good...and then Romeo disappears. Just completely ghosts Bobby. We see a couple instances of him leaving voicemails for Romeo and getting no response, but then the teenage O5 have to go back to their time, and that's that. Adult Bobby absorbs these memories, but he's obviously not going to track down Romeo, who is still a teenager.

And then who should show up...but Romeo!

Marvel's Voices Infinity Comic #1

You can tell he's an adult now because he has a mustache. This is such a funny detail to me. It's like he's trying to sneak into an R-rated movie or something.

Bobby responds to suddenly running into his high school boyfriend who he hasn't seen in 10-15 years by immediately making out with him. Then it cuts to the two of them in bed together. ONLY THEN does Bobby say "Oh by the way, why are you an adult now?" Romeo explains that he fell into another dimension by accident and got lost jumping around different realities for about a decade, but very little time had passed in the 616 universe by the time he got back.

Sigh.

So you remember how I said that Judah was the best of the NPC queer love interests? Romeo, at least in this story, is one of the worst. (For the record, everything about this story (MVIC #1-4, which Marvel just reprinted as Iceman: Omega) that doesn't have to do with Romeo is delightful, and I highly recommend it.) He literally exists for no other reason than to be Bobby's perfect gay romance:

He shows up out of nowhere exactly where Bobby is exactly in time to save his life.

Then they just start making out??? They haven't seen each other in over a decade!

Then they immediately have sex without discussing literally anything at all?

The last time they saw each other, Bobby was so shy he could barely kiss Romeo. This is not a "seeing you again reignited the passion we once shared" thing.

Romeo is just conveniently the right age for Bobby out of fucking nowhere. I was not abbreviating his explanation above. He explains what happened in two speech balloons and it never comes up again.

Does Romeo have trauma over being dimension-lost for a decade? What happened in those other dimensions? Did his family care? Is he in contact with the Inhumans literally at all? Never comes up! That would imply he exists outside of Bobby's desires, and we can't have that.

Bobby never asks why Romeo ghosted him and Romeo never explains why. And like...theoretically the dimension thing could be an answer, but it's not explicitly stated to be the reason. Back when the ghosting happened, Bobby never seemed genuinely concerned for Romeo's safety, and the Inhumans weren't like "Hey Bobby, have you seen Romeo? We're worried he fell into another dimension." So it feels like that's not the answer?

Romeo's an empath because of course his power is being able to read all of Bobby's emotions and make him happier.

This dude literally disappeared from comics for five years of real time but we're supposed to believe they're in love after a handful of panels.

I find this so frustrating because Teen Romeo has none of these problems. He's a delight! He's charming! He has a personal history! And a specific personality! And Adult Romeo has...a mustache.

Anyway, stuff happens, Bobby's dad dies and he sleeps with Christian about it—which to me is very telling, because that lovely scene above with Christian? Couldn't happen with Romeo, because Christian has a point of view, especially about shitty fathers, and Romeo doesn't.

Then some more stuff happens, Bobby's powers get out of control, he isolates himself in an ice palace in Antarctica, and his closest friends show up to help him: Northstar, Firestar, Christian, and Jean Scott Warren Romeo. And then Romeo uses his empathy to tell Bobby "YOU. ARE. LOVED." all dramatically and it...fixes him? Even though that's not actually the problem Bobby was having or what this story was about?

SIGH.

But I mentioned that there are three Romeos, and we still have one more to go! So Bobby comes very very close to dying in the 2023 Hellfire Gala—he pretty much melts/disintegrates in front of Romeo's eyes—but thanks to Romeo's empathic powers, he's able to use his feelings for Bobby to help him literally pull himself back together:

Astonishing Iceman #1

I think this is genuinely very sweet.

Mutants are being actively hunted right now, and Bobby in particular is a high-value target, so basically he and Romeo live in a (different) (I think?) ice palace and Bobby will go out and fight bad guys and save mutants until he starts to melt, and then he sort of dissolves and reassembles himself in Romeo's presence. Their relationship is significantly more interesting in this comic, because there's actual friction in it:

Romeo is (rightfully!) frustrated by how reckless Bobby is being with his own safety, while Bobby (rightfully!) refuses to stop saving lives.

There's a really interesting disconnect in how they talk about their relationship. Bobby keeps asking "What are we?" and Romeo refuses to define the relationship or acknowledge a commitment, even though he is literally living in an ice palace in the middle of nowhere for this man and is keeping him alive with the strength of his love...but Romeo repeatedly says he loves Bobby, and Bobby only reciprocates once and it's in writing, not dialogue. I like that, that they aren't really on the same page or even necessarily having productive conversations about what pages they are on. I think it's very real and human.

Bobby is an annoying dork and Romeo dunks on him about it constantly, which...yes. Correct.

They appear to be in an open relationship, because Bobby makes out with a rando in the first issue and Romeo has another guy in his bed in the last. This does not change the fact that the story is very much built around the depth of their feelings for each other. That's neat!

Romeo gets to be a real person who is like, annoyed and frustrated and scared for Bobby. Also, he calls Bobby "azizam," which the comic tells me is Persian for "my dear" (and Google tells me is also an Ed Sheeran song lol), so presumably he's of Iranian descent? That's a nice detail. Hooray for specificity!