#silashart

Ooo yes I did! Hot grad student indeed, Anon! A real yummy looking snack, if I do say so myself. But I probably would be a little hesitant to hop on him if he’s been paying Scarlet Soviet. Who knows where he’s been? But additionally, he’s been with Delinquent Dawkins who just seems- frankly- dirty.

We honestly haven’t locked down a name for “hot grad student” yet. But he seems to be spending a lot of time.with Energizer Bunny and hey, most recently was openly talking about bending them over a car and paid for SS... so, in the words of my darling counterpart, “We don't know enough to give you a nickname yet, sorry bro. But we hear you paid for SS though, so how about we just call you John for now.”

Or maybe John is the Energizer Bunny and we should change Energizer Bunny to the Energizer Bunny’s drum because he keeps on banging them. I’m just saying.

E’s nominee - @schuylerpillsburyschuester aka Ginger Spice! 

“You never know if that smoulder is going to go nuclear, I'm on the edge of my seat, V.“

V’s nominee - @silashart aka John!

Oh hey- thanks, Silas! They did come out really well. I’m kinda surprised. 

Anyways, let’s get right to it- shall we?

The night kicked off and hopes were high for a magical evening but things weren’t very smooth for Energizer Bunny! After coming to the ball with John, they caught their date eyeing Drag Mama Drama and got pretty huffy. So much so that they went to Sidelined Sidekick for some comfort. Or to cause some drama. Whatever. Honestly, most of the night for EB and J seemed hot and cold, chasing after each other and pissing each other off before they almost fucked on the dance floor and mysteriously disappeared for a while. There was a serenade somewhere in there too. Then, J scooped up EB so they could claim their crown, and let’s be real, they probably fucked at some point. What a wild ride for that couple(literally and figuratively).

There was some real weird conversations overheard near the punch bowl that was spiked. (My bets are on Delinquent Dawkins- Delinquent is in his name- and Scarlet Soviet probably because they basically spent the night around each other!) An extremely unlikely pair- Ginger Spice and Candy-Coated Catastrophe were seen talking and looking equally as confused about the exchange. But that wasn’t the strangest conversation for CCC- Toddler Boy, who probably would have interjected himself to talk about fucking anyways without the influence of his 4Lokos, was heard explaining “bottoming” to her. Really makes you wonder what rock CCC has been living under and how terrible her sex life with Robot Reject must be with how appalled she was to talk about sex in general.

At some point, Ginger Spice went from wearing no ring to wearing a real gaudy piece on his finger, so I guess Prying Prima Donna handed that out? I’m hoping it was a while before PPD almost tumbled over GS while grabbing their tiaras.

Toddler Boy and Weak Wreck were spotted on the dance floor after TB tossed his 4Lokos to the ground, having one of the cans explode all over French Fatale who looked extremely blueballed as he trailed around after TB. But TB really got around that night- as he was also heard talking to Lovely Lyricist about fucking!

We can assume pretty safely that TB was telling LL to fuck Deluded Dancer, right? They did show up together, wearing some of the nights wildest masks, and walked out together. (While Pillsbury Dough-Boy was looking pretty lonely and uncomfortable). Thankfully, despite spending a fairly good portion of the night talking about her flying shoe, LL had her feather-clad shoe brought back to her by Nervous Nelly.

Not like he was doing much else, right? NN and Other Smythe might have been the most awkward couple.(Where’s their reward, right?) But some notable mentions that also were keeping guard at different spots on the wall were Grumpy Cat and Robot Reject. Makes you wonder why some people even go out to these things, really.

Couples that apparently couldn’t really get enough of each other: Unsurprisingly- our very own “College Sweethearts”- Yeehaw Yokel and Pandered Prince; and Colorful Cornerstone with her inspired Little Mermaid ensemble and Presumptuous Perfectionist with her pretty purple party dress!

Notably missed from the ball? Harlot Heartbreaker- who won multiple awards and showed up not once on the stage... I wonder what she ended up doing. Or should I say who- since neither Military Migraine nor Smug Suit were seen either... Could a sibling be in the works for Bastard Baby? 

That’s all for the round up! Can’t wait for what dirt mind be uncovered during the aftermath of our Masqueerade Ball! Remember, we’re always here to take whatever you’ve seen or heard and report it!