#shoulds

(for someone who’s running on empty)

Today’s Gospel is disturbing.

When Jesus says, “whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”

It comes across as harsh. And it is. For a reason.

To break us out of our complacency. To get us – just for a moment – to actually think about what we’re doing. And how we do it.

Because all of us have our priorities, the relationships that come first for us. Ones that weigh on us if we neglect them. Our “shoulds.”

Even when our priorities are healthy – we’ve gotten rid of the negative and the toxic, and we’re focused on good and healthy relationships – there’s still a limit to what we can do. Because you and I can only give to them what we have.

And if all we have to give is our own strength, our compassion, our patience, our forgiveness, our love? At some point, it’s going to run out. Because you and I only have so much. And we can only give what we have.

God knows this about us (He is God, after all). God knows us better than we know ourselves.

And God knows that in order to be able to give what needs to be given, to keep those relationships healthy (for us and for them), we need more. More strength, compassion, patience, forgiveness – more love than we have to give.

Which is why He’s telling us to get our priorities right. Not because there’s anything wrong with loving any of those people. But because God wants those relationships, and all the relationships that are important to us, to be grounded in an unending source of strength and compassion, of patience and forgiveness – the unending love of God.

For the relationships that are important to us to be at their happiest, their healthiest, their holiest? We need to bring our best to them.

And you and I are at our absolute best when what we bring, when what we are first filled with, is the unending love of God.

Because you can only give what you have.

I do not care what you think the characters should do to "solve" their problems, and if you're focusing on how their issues could be solved, I really implore you to think on that. Because 1) we don't know that there wouldn't be repercussions to your quick fixes if the characters actually did it in canon, and 2) even if your fixes will work, it's redundant.

If these characters were not doing what they do, they wouldn't be the same characters. Or, maybe better put -- anything other than what's happening would be out of character for the main cast. If Marinette were to see that Chat Noir is hurting more than he lets on, if Adrien were to admit to Ladybug that he needs more than he's getting -- these actions are born of their flaws, but their flaws are fundamental to who they are. It feels like some people are trying to gentrify them, or to prove that the characters are being irrational and dumb, when that's beside the point. These characters are being human, and I really want to know, genuinely give me an answer if you can: What does it matter how they could solve their problems? What are you proving?

but I’ve been trying to delete the “should”s from my mouth these days the way I tried to delete you from me and damn well didn’t. I know I am a shaky house for at least half of every month. I know we didn’t have the strongest foundation and as you readied yourself for our repairs I stopped building alongside you (more than once). I know I ran when you tried to reach and left when you tried to love and that’s the stuff I’m working on. I hope you've got a list, too.