hanash lately: shoulders, syllabi, slowing down, and other shenanigans from the last two months!
luntian had raved a few times about her boss's memory: "she remembers everything. you know why? she journals every day."
i told her: we should do the same.
but here i am failing miserably at keeping this blog updated. i had intended to write about our trip to baguio during the tail end of may, my 33rd birthday in lucban, our anniversary spent watching plays and a stand-up act, and my mundane teacher's leave. however, as i type this, another semester has opened and details for the past two and a half months are almost slipping away!
when we got back from japan, i had to prepare for a conference in baguio where my colleagues (who are also close friends) would present our current research. luntian took a leave and tagged along. we dined at oh my gulay! and she took me to bencab museum: it was my first time. i was happy to see works by santi bose and antipas delotavo in the flesh.
in june, i celebrated my birthday by having dinner at a taiwanese restaurant in quezon city with luntian and my closest friends, rogelio and faith. the celebration continued when we spent a full weekend in lucban. one of my best friends, june (not to be confused with jeane), had an airbnb there and her entire family was happy enough to host us. my mother and luntian's family went as well. we were well-fed for almost three whole days. we visited my dad's grave. i introduced luntian for the first time. she and i ran on saturday morning and discovered that lucban's uneven streets were not kind to our feet. on sunday, my mother, luntian, and her mom went to mass before heading back home. my jesus year could not have started any better.
the highlight of july was our first anniversary, which we spent at ace water spa for free (for free!). luntian was heading a paralegal training for work and had free accommodations (buffets included!) at the water spa's hotel. for that saturday we watched sir vlad's back-to-back theater plays (prinsipe bahaghari left us in tears and puting gunaw left us haunted) as well as atsuko okatsuka's full grown tour in manila. on sunday, we woke up early for an almost nine-kilometer run around up diliman campus punctuated by a well-deserved breakfast buffet at the university hotel. what a weekend!
and soon enough my most awaited teacher's leave began. i went home to cavite to spend time with my dogs and my mother. i started watching sex and the city. i tried finishing an ongoing research i'm writing on queer coming-of-age films, but it's still in my drafts folder. i ate my mom's baked goods. and in a blink, it's august again.
august had a disorienting start. though i was able to tick off most of the errands on my to-do list during our leave, i suffered two shoulder dislocations in the first two weeks of the month. luckily, i managed to pop them back in less than an hour for both incidents, but healing and rehabbing them will take a considerable amount of time. i guess that means no pickleball for a while.
i've had this injury since i was nine: i got hit by a speeding tricycle (probably a faulty assessment of a highway at my age as well) and broke my right clavicle. even though it healed as young bones have a pretty good recovery rate, it dealt a permanent blow on my right shoulder. it would dislocate for a few seconds if i twisted my arm on a weird angle or when i kicked too hard in high school soccer. i'd be immobilized for no more than five minutes, but it would pop back like nothing happened. i didn't understand what a shoulder dislocation meant then and just called it "spasms."
throughout my adulthood, i would endure three severe shoulder dislocations (i'd call it severe because i can't put it back on my own) where i'd end up at the hospital. the most recent incident was just last year. the doctor told me that my best resort is surgery (which i can't afford right now!). the consecutive dislocations just this month were frightening because it happened in my sleep.
while rushing to curate readings to update my syllabi in time for the school opening, i'd alternate tabs on researching about my condition. once you've had a shoulder dislocation, relapse is about 90% certain. it's called shoulder instability. some heal properly through physical therapy (i've done this after my second hospitalization), but the best hope is surgery. coach aivi, who happens to have the same condition as mine, but had the surgery told me that building muscles on your shoulders is also a big help. while this is comforting as i do enjoy physical activity, it would have to wait until my shoulder is stable enough to at least lift a decently weighted dumbbell. i hope i'm patient enough to wait for that.
the first week of school opening is also the first week of getting used to wearing my shoulder braces daily (i use different ones for daily wear, sleeping, and sports) and applying cold packs every night and morning. all these additions to my daily routine are unexpected and quite frankly irritating as they slow me down (especially in the morning!), but perhaps it IS a necessary reminder to indeed slow down.
slow down and wait for my shoulder to heal. slow down while i save up for surgery. slow down and take time to write more every day (to remember more about every day!). slow down to bounce back better and stronger. slow down, slow down, slow down. if i'm patient enough to rehaul my syllabi (i cannot wait for my students to read john cheever and doris lessing though!) then maybe i could be patient enough to wait for and work on my recovery.
slow down, slow down, slow down.
