#shihane

"Don't go...." Shihane whispered in his sleep as he turned over. He was obviously disturbed. His body was coated with a thick layer of sweat and his bedding had been thrown everywhere. He was having a terrible nightmare. "Mom..." he whimpered, gritting his teeth in pain. His back was starting to burn.

"You couldn't save her...How pathetic~" A voice echoed in his dream, taunting the Lord. "Stop..." he shuttered, pulling the blankets closer to him. "She's dead you pathetic fool...She will never come back~" He turned over again, trying his best to escape the terrible nightmare that plagued him. "You can't protect the Tsar...You're useless...Your fellow councilmen see this. They will get rid of you and leave you all alone..." A laughter followed those words, causing the young Rooster Lord to jump up in bed. "NO!" he panted, looking around the room and realizing it was his own. He was home safe in his own bed. His hair was a mess, sticking to his sweaty body. "It...was just a nightmare...a nightmare..." he murmured, running a hand through his hair. He tried to calm down from his scare.

"Mom..." he placed his head in his hands as tears started to flow, "I miss you..." He had been getting more and more nightmares in the recent days. He had also been feeling rather lonesome, which probably made him an easy target for those kinds of things.

He hissed, reaching towards his back now. His old wound was starting to burn. "God...DAMN IT!" he screamed, throwing his covers off and stumbling out of bed. He moved towards the bathroom that connected to his room.

"Shihane, you know I will always be here. My special boy."

He hissed as he quickly stripped himself of his clothing, abandoning them on his way to the shower. He turned it on to the coldest setting and allowed the icy water to rain down on his reddened back. It was clearly irritated by something. The water seemed to sooth the pain though and allowed him to relax. He stared at the floor, watching the water pool into the drain for a long while. He ignored the fact that he was getting cold.

"I...won't end up alone...will I...?" he murmured, thinking about his mother. She died. She wasn't there. The only family he had left hated him and he very much so knew this. The council definitely wasn't a family and there was no one there he could seek comfort in. Not even the Tsar. They weren't very close to begin with.

Slowly the male slid down to the floor of the shower, curling up as the cold water continued to pool around him. He tried to take easy breaths and keep himself calm. "It's fine..." he whispered as the feeling of loneliness settled in. He had felt this before. In fact, he had felt this way ever since his mother had passed. He never had a physical being to be there for him and tell him it was ok. On the outside he would make everyone think he was fine, even scare them off if they tried to get too close. Everyone had their own problems and he didn't think they should be bothered with his. That, and he thought it was childish to feel this way. He was an adult. He shouldn't mope about just because he was lonely..right?