#sherihockman

March 1, 2020 marks one full year since I started teaching the “Wonder Woman Program” at the Rosendo Diaz Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Academy in Harleysville, PA. What started out as one day a week slowly evolved into two (and despite the group size being small, the passion and commitment are larger than life). This female program is something I could have only dreamt of 10 or 15 years ago…

Up until about four years ago, I wasn’t really training with any females. My entire jiu-jitsu career, it was just me and the guys; But in hindsight, being the only female wasn’t healthy, mentally or physically. It didn’t allow me to see what I was missing. It almost created a sense of entitlement within me that was for no other reason than the fact that I have a vagina. So, once we started having females trickle in, it was initially thought provoking, but in all honesty, very unsettling. So many thoughts would run through my head. Where would my place be? Would I even be relevant anymore? Basically, I thought of myself as a lioness who wasn’t ready to share her pride. It wasn’t an easy transition for me. Many weeks I wouldn’t show up just because I was feeling sorry for myself. Why? I don’t know…because that’s what some of us crazy, weaker females do…act irrational.

It wasn’t until I took some time off and eventually put it all out on the table with my instructor (in a tearful conversation spilling my guts) that he replied to me “Just stop. Just come back and train, you need it. We are old heads now. You have to share your knowledge and pass it along. You are on a different part of your journey now.” And so that’s what I did. After forcing myself into having a new outlook, I decided it was time. I realized that it “wasn’t my time anymore” and that times have changed, the school has changed, and I needed to change (damn it).

After a few years of just training with a couple of women, Rosendo brought up the idea of the all-female class. I wasn’t sure if this was something that I could do or even wanted to do, but I reluctantly agreed. What became apparent to me sooner than later was that I could learn just as much from these women as they could from me. I’ve never considered myself a “girl’s girl” and these females coming to train weren’t either. These women also seem to walk to the beat of their own drum and not follow the “norms” of everyday society. They aren’t afraid to get dirty and they aren’t afraid to smash my face in.

The entire experience has made me love and appreciate my gender. After a lifetime of avoiding females, serious friendships, and “not having a tribe”, I now have a better understanding of what I was missing. My jiu-jitsu team is my family and my girls are my tribe. My biggest thank-you goes to my girl Lauren Baker, our team/school manager. She was the lioness who came in 4 years ago and took over the pride…and she did it with ease. She is a beautiful person inside and out.

We might not all be “friends” hanging together outside of jiu-jitsu, but because of jiu-jitsu we will have a bond forever.

Your ignorance is strength....and you might want to keep it that way.  Because if you knew the truth, if you could see the truth, if you lived the truth, you might change your mind about the rhetoric you are spewing everyday.

 If you aren’t directly working with a mass amount of covid positive patients, you have NO IDEA what this virus is all about.  I’m not going to rattle off analytical statistics, media headlines, post stupid meme’s or relay nonsensical political propaganda that tries to sway you one way or another.  What I am going to tell you is what I know from my actual REAL-LIFE experience.  In all of my 25 years of working in rehabilitation healthcare, I have NEVER EVER SEEN an illness this contagious, this destructive and this deadly.  I have never seen so many patients and employee’s get sick all at once in such a VERY VERY SHORT amount of time.  This is a virus that does not discriminate based on age or race. Every single group living setting and establishment has been effected and is going to continue to be impacted on such a mass level it is catastrophic. The fact that the news has chosen to single out certain places is a disgrace. It’s EVERYWHERE.   If you aren’t literally “in It”, you truly don’t know. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND and you will not understand….and you should be THANKFUL FOR THAT.  HOW ABOUT THAT FREEDOM? The freedom of ignorance (b/c your ignorance from living “in this” is your personal bliss) …..The 99% national recovery rate you keep talking about means jack shit when community living places just keep losing lives in droves.  Lives that mean something to the people that love them.  

Those of us working with covid patients who are fortunate enough to not get sick (few and far between)….are “living the dream” one day at a time?  Are we “covid proof”?  or just so over contaminated we cannot get it because of over exposure? Are we immune? I don’t know.

You may read all that and think….Wow, she must want to keep us all locked up forever.  Quarantine 4-life! No, not really.   I don’t think this can keep going on much longer.  But how can more time be the answer either?  What would more quarantine or more restrictions provide us in the long run?  Will Rona just “go away”?   Do we wait a year for a vaccine when the government isn’t helping with crap? Will the vaccine provide immunity or will the virus just mutate?   Are humans meant to live like this? I’m not even worried about my health as much as the craziness that is going on around me.

It’s one of the reasons I can do what I do.  I swim in covid daily.  It sucks to come home and be a contagion to my family but the fear is gradually diminishing. The fear must subside.  There must be a time sooner than later where we can choose to live in some sense of normalcy.  There is a risk….when will there not be a risk?  The quarantine has not been to stop Rona.  The quarantine has been to buy the hospital system time.  When all is said and done, Rona will still be patiently waiting.  

 Need something to do?  Share some “get to know me questions” with your friends and family”.   

I answered 100 “Get to know me questions” alone...and then later I asked my husband what he thought my answer would be. How many did we match? 

1.Who is your hero?  (me) No one in particular. Anyone who stands up for the underdog, (Fights for the weaker person, feels compassion and empathy for humans and animals....but actually does something about it besides running their mouth) Ron:  No one      CORRECT

2.If you could live anywhere,  where would it be? Somewhere very very warm, with very few people and all  of my children (Ron) Somewhere warm and sunny           CORRECT

3.What is your biggest fear?   Losing my husband or children. (Ron) something happening to my kids/family            CORRECT

4.What was your favorite family vacation? N. Carolina, time on the beach with my family. (Ron) N. Carolina           CORRECT

5.What would you change about yourself if you could?  Rid myself of self-doubt and anxiety. I’d be unstoppable! (Ron) To be more extroverted and outgoing.                        CORRECT

6.What really makes you angry? Oodles  of things. People acting like the boys we took into our family, aren’t “real” family, racial discrimination, animal abuse, bullying, gender stereotypes, and religion (Ron) “Oh jez! Incompetent people”                       WRONG

7.What motivates you to work hard?  My family and their success. (Ron) To Help others                           WRONG.

8.What is your favorite thing about your career?  Wanting my patients to feel better about themselves and giving them an improved quality of  life. (Ron) Helping people                     CORRECT

9.Coke or Pepsi? Coke (Ron) coke             CORRECT

10.What is your proudest  accomplishment? Besides my having family, getting my BJJ black belt. (Ron) being a mother         CORRECT

11.When did you meet for the first time? Was it a connection? Friends introduced us at his work, Moyer and Son. Nope, no connection!. (Ron) Moyer and son, I don’t think you spoke to me. no connection   CORRECT

12.Favorite TV cartoon growing up as a kid?  Scooby Doo. (Ron) I have no idea, I didn’t watch cartoons as a kid, Tom and Jerry?   WRONG

13.Who makes you laugh the most?     My husband. (Ron) me   CORRECT

14.What would you be willing to do for a million dollars? Almost anything as long as my husband was okay with it and it didn’t hurt anything else. (Ron) eat red meat      WRONG

15.What did you want to be when  you were small?  A teacher. (Ron) heavier                WRONG

16.Do you want to be buried, Cremated, have your body donated to science or do some kind of eco-friendly burial when you die?  The funeral market is a scam and it’s polluting the planet! Eco-friendly method on a green burial site. NO Coffin! (Ron) eco-friendly burial, or some shit like that.                  CORRECT

17.If you could choose to do  anything for a day, what would it be?  African Safari.  (Ron) nothing               WRONG

18.What is your favorite game or  sport to watch and play?  Brazilian  Jiu-jitsu. (Ron) BJJ                     CORRECT

19.What household chore do you like the least? Cleaning the bathroom.  (Ron) cleaning in general               WRONG

20.What would you sing at Karaoke night?  LOVE LOVE LOVE SINGING!  Sinead O’Connor, Nothing Compares To You (and about 100 more songs). (Ron) Beastie Boys, fight for you right to party      WRONG

21.What two radio stations do you listen to in the car the most? SiriusXM 100, 101. (Ron) The two Howard Stations         CORRECT

22.Which would you rather do: wash dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house? Mow the lawn (if it’s hot outside), otherwise vacuum. (Ron)   mow               CORRECT

23.Favorite color? Yellow.  (Ron) black          WRONG

24.If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? salad with lots of stuff in it. (Ron)   lobster         WRONG

25.How do you feel about adoption? Bring em’ on. Babies of any age! The more the merrier. (Ron) strongly           CORRECT

26. Have you ever had a nickname? What is it?  Sher (pronounced “Share”). (Ron) Dukers              WRONG

27.  Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not? Hate surprises. I wanna know.  (Ron) no, don’t like being center of attention     CORRECT

28.  In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read?  Ummm. Do nothing, so watch a movie I guess. (Ron) movie     CORRECT

29. Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why? Hawaii b/c it’s hot. (Ron) Hawaii b/c it’s warm and has beaches           CORRECT

30. Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why?  Lottery b/c then I could still work at the “perfect job” as much or little as I wanted. (Ron) work at perfect job, b/c you’d be happy and help people   WRONG

  31. Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island? My husband. (Ron) me         CORRECT 

   32. If money was no object, what would you do all day? Create my utopia, an animal rescue. (Ron) Some kind of crap with animals         CORRECT 

     33. If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to? 1995 (after college).  (Ron) 1978        WRONG

   34. How would your friends describe you?  I’m not sure. Stubborn, strong willed? Sensitive. (Ron) passionate          WRONG

   35. What are your hobbies? Momming. Jiu-jitsu. Animal stuff. (Ron)  teaching bjj and pets              CORRECT

   36. What is the best gift you have been given?  My family. (and my jukebox that breaks all the time). (Ron) children           CORRECT

   37. What is the worst gift you have received? Anything that has to do with cleaning. (Ron) dryer vent              CORRECT

   38. Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? My animals….esp my dog Mable! (Ron) exercise    WRONG

   39. List two pet peeves: My husband yelling about my animals, my kids not doing their chores. (Ron) me groping you, bad drivers      WRONG

   40. Where do you see yourself in five years? Wanting more kids (Ron) here                        WRONG

41. How many pairs of shoes do you own? idk10?,  the same shoes I had 5 years ago (although I’ll replace my sneakers once or twice a year). (Ron) 10     CORRECT 

   42. If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? I could be invisible. (Ron) strength                WRONG

   43. What would you do if you won the lottery? Quit my  job and Open an animal sanctuary. (Ron) pay off all debt             WRONG

   44. Finish things as soon as possible or wait until the last minute? Wait until the last minute. (Ron) wait until the last minute            CORRECT 

   45. What unconscious mannerism do you display if you are upset or uncomfortable in a situation?  I become very quiet... (Ron) chew face   WRONG

   46. If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be?  How I acted as a teenager. I could be pretty rotten. (Ron) not throwing poop out a window            WRONG

   47. If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be? Jim Morrison, Jimmy Hendrix,  mommom, and God. (Ron) all your grandparents but especially your mommom Knipe           WRONG

   48. How do you feel about group vacations with other couples? That sounds awful. (Ron) not happening               CORRECT        

         49. What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)?  An entire day when I was young, partying all night. (Ron) 24hrs partying       CORRECT 

   50. How Do you handle anger?  I bottle it up for a while and get quiet. (Ron) not well, you get quiet             CORRECT

51. Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence? Interesting question! I’m already getting close to hitting the wall with looks….but I also can’t afford to lose any intelligence either. I’d have to trade looks for more intelligence.  (Ron) intelligence for looks             WRONG

   52. How often do you buy clothes? Almost never. (Ron)   not often     CORRECT 

   53. Have you ever had a secret admirer?  Probably (who hasn’t). It would be secret. (Ron) probably              CORRECT 

   54. What's your favorite holiday? CHRISTMAS! (Ron) Christmas        CORRECT 

   55. What do you drink when you go out for social occasions?  Coke (not diet either). (Ron) water or coke                  CORRECT 

   56. What was the last thing you recorded on TV?  True blood. (Ron) SNL   WRONG

   57. Do you prefer the live version or studio version of an album? Studio. (Ron) Studio             CORRECT 

   58. What's your favorite type of foreign food? Mexican. (Ron) mexican      CORRECT 

   59. Are you a clean or messy person? Pretty Messy. (Ron) messy       CORRECT 

   60. Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life? Uma Thurman. (Ron) Uma Thurman             CORRECT 

   61. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 30mins (Ron) 1hr             WRONG

   62. What kitchen appliance do you use every day? Dishwasher. (Ron) microwave              WRONG

   63. What's your favorite fast food chain?  Taco Bell. (Ron) taco bell       CORRECT 

   64. What's your favorite family recipe or dish?  mommoms apple pie.  (Ron)  Mommoms apple pie           CORRECT 

   65. Do you love or hate rollercoasters? Love. (Ron) Love      CORRECT 

   66. What's your favorite family tradition?  Christmas Morning Breakfast at my moms. (Ron) Christmas Eve          CORRECT  

   67. What is your favorite childhood memory? Having baby bunnies with my dad. (Ron) I have no idea           WRONG

   68. What's your favorite movie? Natural Born Killers (Ron) Pulp fiction  WRONG

   69. How old were you when you learned Santa wasn't real? How did you find out? Devastating. I wanted to believe forever. I was forced to “not believe” at about 12. My aunt said on Christmas day “You know Santas not real, right?”.  Ugh. (Ron) 8, I think your friend Dorene probably told you.   WRONG

   70. Is your glass half full or half empty? Half empty….just waiting for the other shoe to drop. (Ron) Half empty         CORRECT 

   71. What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love? Dating my husband was risky. (Ron) got married          WRONG

   72. What is your favorite chip flavor? Salt and vinegar. (Ron) salt and vinegar             CORRECT 

   73. What was your favorite subject in school?  Science. (Ron) none   WRONG

   74. What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten?  I’m not very daring. Seaweed. (Ron) I have no idea, you really don’t care for food   WRONG

   75. Do you collect anything? Unwanted animals. (Ron) records     WRONG

   76. Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion?  Bell bottoms. (Ron) The 70s                  WRONG

   77. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Introvert.  (Ron) Introvert        CORRECT 

   78. Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest? touch. (Ron) You have a nose like a dog                   WRONG

   79. Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise)  Nope…and I don’t want one. (Ron) No                  CORRECT  

   80. Best quality and worst quality?  Best-compassionate/empathetic,  Worst-Too compassionate/empathetic to a fault. (Ron) best-caring, worst-caring too much                    CORRECT 

   81. What do you do to keep fit? Brazilian Jiu-jitsu but I also just exercise to not be a big lump of (Ron) BJJ and exercise            CORRECT

   82. Does your family have a “motto” – spoken or unspoken?  I say “wrong is wrong, damn it”. (Ron) Never a wrong time to do the right thing never a right time to do the wrong thing                   WRONG

   83. If you were ruler of your own country what would be the first law you would introduce?  ALL KINDS OF RULES about limiting the use of animals for consumption. NO FACTORY FARMS! (Ron) NO killing of animals      CORRECT

   84. Are you a leader or follower?  Leader (Ron) leader       CORRECT 

   85. What three things do you think of the most each day?  Work, family, how tired I am. (Ron) something happening to my kids, something happening to ron, or me                     WRONG

   86. If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Proceed with caution. (Ron) warning fragile                     WRONG

   87. What song would you say best sums you up? Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd. (Ron) someone left the cake out in the rain, AKA MacArthur Park by Donna Summer                 WRONG

   88. What is your favorite drink? Vanilla Chai Latte. (Ron) water    WRONG    89. Who was your first crush?  Bo Duke (on Dukes of Hazzard). (Ron) Shaun Cassidy           WRONG

  90. What's the most interesting thing you can see out of your kitchen window? My chickens. (Ron) chickens              CORRECT 

   91. On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are? 6. (Ron) 8  WRONG

   92. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Working like a dog and getting no where. (Ron) here                WRONG

   93. What was your first job? Working at an awful pizza shop. (Ron) pizza shop                 CORRECT 

   94. If you could join any past or current music group which would you want to join? The Doors.  (Ron) The dead              WRONG

   95. Do you believe in an after life?  Yes. (Ron) yes            CORRECT 

   96. You’ll never understand people who do what.....?  Fart in front of anyone intentionally. (Ron) hunt              WRONG

   97.  Who would i hate to see naked? Any parental figures. (Ron) parents     CORRECT 

   98. If you had to describe yourself as an animal, which one would it be? Probably a cat. I can be affectionate one minute but turn and walk away b/c you are boring me the next. I don’t like to be told what to do…and I’m not easy to control. “Obedient” isn’t my strong point. (Ron) cat, b/c you can be a loner and snobby (or some might perceive you to be that way).          CORRECT 

   99. What is something that turns you off about another person?  If they don’t like animals.  (Ron) people who are loud              WRONG

 100. Who knows you the best? My husband. (Ron) Me            CORRECT

The end

This rant originally started out as a facebook post....but it just went on and on and on.  So I figured its been a while, I should just write a little blog as it was obnoxiously long, and I feel extremely passionate about this subject. Check out the article below.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8026881/Comedian-raises-30-000-send-bullied-9-year-old-dwarfism-Disneyland.html

See video at bottom of blog....

To see the outpouring of support from all over the world today for this one little special needs boy who was bullied is heartwarming. How can we not feel anything but horribly outraged and saddened for his overwhelming grief.  This all came about after his mother recorded him crying and upset after being bullied at school and she wanted to “show the world what this can do to a child”.   The images and video went viral.  The response from the public emotional and swift.  Everything from a go fund me account was set up, to sports team invites being extended and even a trip to Disney has been arranged...and despite all these wonderful sentiments,  an unsettling nagging feeling kept gnawing at me.  A sense of generalized irritation.  At first I wasn’t sure why. Then it hit me. The questions.... What is the point of all that in the long run?  How is any of that stuff going to change the culture of our society?  How is any of that going to help solve the problem? Are sporting events and a trip to Disney going to make the problem of bullying go away?

The reality is that almost half of all school age students are bullied at minimum once a month (many times much much more). On avg 70% of students (and staff) report witnessing the bullying....30% admit doing the bullying. Most common types of bullying are verbal and social. Physical happens MUCH less frequently. Tactics utilized- Name calling,  teasing,  spreading rumors and lies, pushing/shoving, hitting/kicking, exclusion, threatening, stealing belongings, sexual comments/gestures, and online/virtual messaging- the list goes on and on.  So, how many kids aren't recorded by their mom or dad and posted online,  but are tortured by other children every damn day????  How many kids continue to suffer in silence and sometimes take their own lives b/c "we" as a society haven't equipped them for this cold, heartless world? How many of us are failing to teach our stronger little or younger humans to "be the protector" of the people who surround us???  Studies have shown that when bystanders intervene bullying stops within an avg of 10 seconds. Why doesn't this happen more often?  There are always strength in numbers (A bully will use this to their advantage b/c they rarely do it alone). I’ve said this in another blog post,  DO NOT expect your school to protect your children.  The numbers alone are not working in your child's favor. The staff are significantly outnumbered.  Plus a bully will craft their art. Many times these instances take place away from adult ears and eyes...parking lots, school playgrounds, hallways, bathrooms, gym class, locker rooms, stores...the list goes on and on. Zero tolerance in any institution mean zero, zip.

We give our kids so much material "stuff" all year long....but what we really need to give them is the gift of empathy. Empathy, compassion and the strong desire to feel for more than their own person.  Damn it.  

We may not ever “want” our children to use violence....but heaven forbid that day comes when it is used against them. Then what?  I damn well would rather raise my child to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war. Give your children confidence.  Get them into contact sports...Give them training in self defense. Confidence acts as a bully repellent-I promise.

www.GraciePA.com

Happy 2019!  

With the New Year comes a “New slate” with mass resolutions pouring out of the virtual woodwork.....But these “resolutions” always say a lot about what is making someone unhappy.  They border on being complaints that scream “I want to be more successful” in a multitude of ways.  I mean what’s wrong with being “average”? Those who live very hum drum lives can be very productive, happy and healthy people.....Sometimes what appears “boring” is only because it’s balanced and not a life full of drama or constant unattainable expectations.  Just think of how unappealing a ride at Dorney Park would be if it had no bumps, hills, whips, sharp turns and was going slow at one speed the entire time.  It’s still a ride, but it would be more fun to go on the ROLLER COASTER if you are a thrill seeking person.

I guess this is why people don’t want to work on actual “relationships” as a goal or emotional intelligence as a resolution. It’s a slow train to the coal region and they’re only serving stale peanuts :( .  Many resolutions tend to be monetary or physical in nature and people are able to quantify the “results” (which they so desperately need to feel successful). So who will actually benefit and who will suffer from the attempts to meet these “goals”?  Why do most people fail? 

It’s my opinion that people see the New Year as a chance to “set the bar high”.  Conjuring up expectations for themselves that might not be realistic or achievable. When “resolutions” are not implemented with a well thought out plan that is broken down into incremental short term goals (with actual strategies), and they go at it “balls to the wall” immediately, this can be a remedy for failure.  A big general goal with no game plan causes burn out and everything can deteriorate.   FYI-When you post a meme saying you’re going to weed out all the negative people from your life for the year...believe it or not, that’s not a real strategy.  

How many people choose to not prioritize what’s important on the road to accomplishing their goals?  Chances are that the truly “essential” things in life that you “assume” will always be there (for you) will take a backseat because you feel “achieving your objective” should supersede everything else. Or that your “goal” is inevitably going to benefit the people that mean the most to you, so they can “hang in there” and wait for the fruits of your hard work b/c “it’ll all be worth it”.  Some examples of these goals are- making more money (to have the means for a “better” house, car, vacations and material nonsense), of course getting in better PHYSICAL shape (for your health...which is many times more a vanity issue), going back to college, and achieve more authority/recognition at work.  Lets be realistic here....That “time” is not ever guaranteed.  You making more money, your prettiness and your rank in society, work or sports is meaningless in the grand scheme of your “relationships” and life.  Accidental death, disease and just kids “growing up” HAPPEN bc LIFE HAPPENS....and you can’t get time back.  I encourage you to rethink your goals, prioritize and come up with strategies and a “game plan” to keep a “balance”.   I believe in self improvement....trying to better yourself....but as I get older I have a healthier understanding that we can’t turn back the clocks.  You miss your kids growing up now b/c of recreational activities, additional schooling, recreational sports or work? You wont get that back.  You aren’t making that emotional connection that is SO important (and so many people think they can make up for it with “condensed time” or buying them “stuff”).  Making money for that beautiful house, car, fancy phone or exotic vacations- Meaningless!  Busting you butt and missing time all year long for the materialistic bullcrap and the fancy vacations isn’t going to give you back what you’ve missed out on....and it certainly isn’t going to give it back to the people you ignored 75% of the year.....

“Stuff” is expendable (nonsense).  Time with the people we love=priceless. 

Live so you have no regrets. 

Who knew in 2018 that censorship would be such a hot topic.  Even Tumblr is announcing as of Dec 17th they will be monitoring all content for anything considered “sexual” in hopes of making it a safe place for all users (insert vomit emoji). 

In the mid 80′s Tipper Gore was taking a stroll near her 11-year-old daughter’s room. Without warning, she caught an earful of her tween’s tape deck (or turntable), as someone sang about “masturbating with a magazine” and how …my body will never be the same. (Prince-Nikki)

Sex talk?!  (OMG :/)

Tipper was completely freaked out that any words implying “sex” could make it into her ears without giving her “permission”.... and she would not take this lying down! Tipper and three other women formed the Parents Music Resource Center (PMRC) in 1985, which would establish guidelines for regulating music deemed sexual, violent, or all-around uncouth, slapping warning labels on anything that fit the bill. 

The best part of the story is that warning labels actually HELPED SELL more records —Censorship even in it’s finest hour was a joke and actually ended up being the best marketing tool they could have asked for... 

So how is it any different today?  

This nonsense about getting offended at “words” has been going on for a LONG TIME.... Do we really think taking songs out of circulation or “banning” media of any sort will STOP ANYONE from listening to (or looking) at it?????  PUUUULLLLEASE.  Realistically It just drives up the demand(and sales)!  I mean until all this crap came up...who even cared about “Baby It’s Cold Outside”?  Now with the recent controversy we’re all listening and analyzing the lyrics, trying to figure out where the subliminal message is....And don’t even think about making this a conservative/liberal issue.  You both suck.  Conservatives can barely see a naked body part or hear about sex without going into convulsions bc “God says it’s wrong”....Liberals are quick to convulse if they perceive any inequality or perceive non-consensual sexual innuendos....You both get offended at the drop of a hat. 

It’s my opinion that it’s dangerous for a culture to perpetuate “intolerance” (it’s bad enough they do it in schools with books).  We are becoming so thinned skinned that we are creating a society of people who have the mental fortitude that is equivalent to the strength of imitation crystal from the dollar store. The minute something irritates them....The glass breaks....So this small squeaky group of people who are “offended” complain and expect whatever it is that bothered them to be removed from the airwaves. Right?  Bad idea.  The irony will be when this current trend completely backfires and artists decide to push back TEN FOLD!  You thought lyrics and media sources were racy before???? You haven’t seen anything yet.  People will be BEGGING to have back Rudolph and Baby It’s Cold Outside....

I’m personally inspired mentally, emotionally, creatively and even physically when I have an adverse reaction to media content I don’t agree with. It “gets me thinking”.  How boring would life be if we agreed with everything we saw and heard?  As I pondered this topic last night,  the first song that came to mind was Patti Smith’s 1978 Rock N’Roll Nigger..a song I really enjoy *but it’s totally politically incorrect. Lyrically it’s written about oppression but uses a word that purposely caught everyone’s attention. It’s art.  Art isn’t suppose to be about “conforming”.  After I heard Kurt Cobain sing “Rape Me...”, Jimi Hendrix “...I’m going down to shoot my old lady, I caught her messing around with another man”, NIN “...You let me penetrate you, You let me desecrate you”, GNR “....I use to love her, but I had to kill her”, Ozzy’s “... Where to hide, suicide is the only way out, Don't you know what it's really about” or NWA’s “F*ck The Police”- I survived and I enjoyed the story in their music.  Every type of art is going to have it’s critics.  It’s about taste.  Creativity shouldn’t have political/social boundaries. Period.

Now.....The racist statues many support “as history”.....Is a whole different deal.  That’s not “art”...  If they want them in a building titled “Southern History Museum”, for people to view, that’s fine.  But having these out in common area’s, in communities is ridiculous. What if a person that abused your family member had a statue...would you want it on your front lawn? or at your local school (as people praised what a wonderful person they were)?  Hell no.  

My 1/2 cent. 

http://afropunk.com/2011/02/patti-smith-instigates-the-weight-of-the-rock-n-roll-nigger/

You don’t need to be a sports fan (or adopted) to appreciate the ESPN E:60 piece on football’s running back coach Deeland McCullough. My husband Ron spoke to me in great detail about this story he saw on TV and couldn’t believe the “coincidences” that occurred in this man’s life.  What made it so interesting for Ron was the concept that Deeland was adopted (just as Ron was).  

It’s a heartwarming story of a young football player who came up living a hard luck life and not knowing who his biological parents ever were...until he was in his mid 40′s (when Tom Wolf passed the legislation that would allow adopted children to retrieve their un-certified birth certificates, which contain their birth parents names).  That’s when Deeland’s story unfolds.  I’m telling you that it’s worth taking the 20mins from your busy day to watch this segment.  It made me cry.....

The undeniable realization that life isn’t just about “choices”....that A leads to B and C...that there is more than just what we want and “making IT happen”.  That many things are very much out of our control, that inturn unfold and present themselves- b/c the universe or “God” has decided it to be that way. Not necessarily b/c we want it to be that way (both good and bad) and sometimes it’s our job to decipher what’s being presented and why.  

This link is for ESPN E:60.  You’ll just need to click on your cable provider to watch the full segment. Copy and paste if it doesn’t come up when you click on it.  http://www.espn.com/watch/player?id=3432145

This is the full written story...see the link below

http://www.espn.com/espn/feature/story/_/id/24505521/the-jaw-dropping-story-nfl-coach-search-family