365 Days Later....
March 1, 2020 marks one full year since I started teaching the âWonder Woman Programâ at the Rosendo Diaz Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Academy in Harleysville, PA. What started out as one day a week slowly evolved into two (and despite the group size being small, the passion and commitment are larger than life). This female program is something I could have only dreamt of 10 or 15 years agoâŚ
Up until about four years ago, I wasnât really training with any females. My entire jiu-jitsu career, it was just me and the guys; But in hindsight, being the only female wasnât healthy, mentally or physically. It didnât allow me to see what I was missing. It almost created a sense of entitlement within me that was for no other reason than the fact that I have a vagina. So, once we started having females trickle in, it was initially thought provoking, but in all honesty, very unsettling. So many thoughts would run through my head. Where would my place be? Would I even be relevant anymore? Basically, I thought of myself as a lioness who wasnât ready to share her pride. It wasnât an easy transition for me. Many weeks I wouldnât show up just because I was feeling sorry for myself. Why? I donât knowâŚbecause thatâs what some of us crazy, weaker females doâŚact irrational.
It wasnât until I took some time off and eventually put it all out on the table with my instructor (in a tearful conversation spilling my guts) that he replied to me âJust stop. Just come back and train, you need it. We are old heads now. You have to share your knowledge and pass it along. You are on a different part of your journey now.â And so thatâs what I did. After forcing myself into having a new outlook, I decided it was time. I realized that it âwasnât my time anymoreâ and that times have changed, the school has changed, and I needed to change (damn it).
After a few years of just training with a couple of women, Rosendo brought up the idea of the all-female class. I wasnât sure if this was something that I could do or even wanted to do, but I reluctantly agreed. What became apparent to me sooner than later was that I could learn just as much from these women as they could from me. Iâve never considered myself a âgirlâs girlâ and these females coming to train werenât either. These women also seem to walk to the beat of their own drum and not follow the ânormsâ of everyday society. They arenât afraid to get dirty and they arenât afraid to smash my face in.
The entire experience has made me love and appreciate my gender. After a lifetime of avoiding females, serious friendships, and ânot having a tribeâ, I now have a better understanding of what I was missing. My jiu-jitsu team is my family and my girls are my tribe. My biggest thank-you goes to my girl Lauren Baker, our team/school manager. She was the lioness who came in 4 years ago and took over the prideâŚand she did it with ease. She is a beautiful person inside and out.
We might not all be âfriendsâ hanging together outside of jiu-jitsu, but because of jiu-jitsu we will have a bond forever.
