#shepard lives

excerpt from my Mass Effect ff on ao3 titled: Does this unit have a soul?

„Does this unit have a soul?”

Gasp. A shuddering clinging to air. Broken shards of a life over.

“I’d rather risk non-functionality with the crew of the Normandy than risk it alone.”

Destroy or be destroyed. No other way.

She was ready to throw her life away, along with those she condemned to perish, and now…

“I’m proud of you.”

Gasp. Gasp. Gasp. Breathing fills the quiet rubbles around her. Faint sirens somewhere beyond her comprehension.

“Shepard… I’m going to modify my self-preservation code now.”

Shooting echoes around her. Prisms of red, all-consuming… Shepard braced herself. If she was to go, if she was to drag others down with her, let it be a spectacle to behold. Let the aftermath etch their white-hot memories into the fabric of the universe forever.

“Because the Reapers are repulsing. They are devoted to nothing but self-preservation.”

Then why is she breathing? Why is her body draped almost elegantly over the skeletons of the dead?

“I am different.”

“I know,” she whispered to the debris. “I know.”

“Does this unit have a soul?”

“It did,” she sobs; the helmet no longer distorting her voice. It sounded like defeat. “You had.”

For so long now, I have given up hope of seeing this day. Don’t get me wrong, I never really considered that we’d lose, but, you know, I thought “I’ve already cheated death once, I probably won’t pull that off again”. I put on the brave face for everyone’s sake, but, well… I’ll just say I didn’t fight for my own future.

When I first came to in that hospital bed, with Ash sitting next to me, I was still pretty sure I was dead and in heaven. The pain that hit me afterwards was a big sing of the miracle that I made it through.

I don’t know what god or spirit or any kind of higher force I should thank for this, but even if I pray to them every remaining day of my life it won’t be enough to say how thankful I am. I might have to relearn how to walk, and rely on help for most things I found easy to do before, but I don’t care. I get to live, without having to fight. With the woman I love.

I’ll have to learn to live for myself again, but I will.

Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy

Rating: Teen & Up Audiences

Length: 1,779 words

Tags: POV Second Person, Mass Effect 3, Synthesis Ending (Mass Effect), Fix-It of Sorts, Eventual Happy Ending, Paragon Shepard (Mass Effect), Shepard lives, Reapers, Post-Mass Effect 3, Post-Synthesis Ending (Mass Effect), plot holes, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergenc, eCanon What Canon

Summary:

You chose Synthesis. In order to save them all, you chose to die. One cannot be true without the other.

Chapters: 2/3 Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Male Shepard/Tali'Zorah nar Rayya Characters: Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, Thaddeus Shepard, Garrus Vakarian, Kaidan Alenko Additional Tags: Found Family, Shepard lives, Post canon, Post-Mass Effect 3 Summary:

Arisa Shepard - Ending the War

Even as I sit here teary-eyed, and yes I forgot to get a screen of that specific final shot, I did GET that scene - which means my Shepard, at least, is alive. Hence Garrus’ little smirk at the end there.

The scene when you chose the Destroy ending killed me - because she starts off still stumbling and then just gains strength from her memories, from the thought of her loved ones, from the people she needs to save - she’s lost enough and she refuses to lose more, even if it costs her own life.