#sheilaposting

Sheila E has been done insanely dirty in phf in SO many ways (stripping her off her agency as a character during the final fight and using her just to MotivateTM Fugo is misogynistic writing 101), but I’m the most sad by the fact we get to the climax of her arc and then don’t get to see the aftermath.

She starts off as someone who’s so lost on what to do with her life after her sole goal has been taken away and fulfilled by someone else and she’s spent about a third of her life stuck in about the most traumatic, dehumanizing environment possible, that she rationalizes it in her brain that following the person who managed to fulfill her life mission (Giorno) for her is a sound decision (I think it’s in big part due to her guilt over how she handled the loss of her sister but perhaps i'll make a separate post on that in the future). She finds it easier to logically pick a respectable person to follow and then mindlessly follow them to the T than to constantly drown in uncertainty and the distrust she harbors deep in her heart. I think her latching onto Giorno so much was in part personal (him avenging her sister) but also reasonable (her seeing him as someone with noble, right goals whom she won’t regret committing to). It all makes sense in her head.

Now comes the part where I have to talk about Fugo, since I believe he’s THE most crucial person involved in her development. There are two layers to this: 1. him being involved in killing Illuso, 2. him as a person.

I’ll address the latter first to illustrate my point better: I think in Sheila’s eyes, dangerous stand aside, Fugo is the epitome of harmless. One of the most unimpressive people she’s ever met, and also quite possibly the first person in a while that has NO authority or upper hand over her, plus being around the same age, even further highlighting how he has nothing on her. (I could go on and on about these two and how this is an AMAZING basis for a friendship, but I’ll save that for some other time as well).

Now back to how this relates to him killing Illuso… Well, by Sheila’s rules, it would make sense to surrender herself to Fugo as well, since she did that to Giorno who arguably did less work in the ACTUAL killing. But… that’s stupid. Fugo is undeserving of that. What’s more important, she realizes he was the one who killed Illuso very shortly after realizing her loyalty to Giorno is crumbling, because she’s confronted with the fact she may have chosen the wrong person to follow, extended to this strategy being invalid to live by. And she doesn’t know how else to live – her worldviews she stuck to so strictly are shattered and both her and Fugo are fucked in terms of the mission, without any plan.

I think her confronting him in the car and confessing to what’s going on with her is her form of admitting that there may have been a connection (i do NOT mean this in a romantic sense, i mean it as Sheila being INSANELY lonely throughout the years and Fugo being the first person her age who somewhat fit the criteria of a Safe enough person to perhaps befriend, all of that being subconscious on her part, of course) and her kicking him out being a gift of sorts, because she’s about to recklessly try to ram into Volpe and see what happens. She doesn’t care she might die at that moment, so LOST about everything with no light to guide her that it just doesn’t matter. Might as well try to take this guy out with zero regard for her own safety.

Happy saint FRAUDlentines very normal day of February!! Everybody please don't be normal about non romantic relationships.

also get more aromantic!! <2

Some traditional sketches! (they'll appear A LOT)