#sharpaysmontez

“Just another day? Just another day? Baby brother, Christmas is one of the most important days of the whole year -- and I don’t just mean because of all the presents people give each other! Restaurants the world over are closed so that people can spend the day with their loved ones, which means their loved ones have to cook. It’s like I’ve been preparing for this moment for my whole life!” Whether her life counted as her entire existence, or just the days since Fairy Godmother’s magic had given her the chance to have a real body and a real life in the “real” world, she didn’t specify; she didn’t think it mattered, this time of year, when she felt more like all her human classmates than any other time of year. “Now tell me what to cook! It’s not just your stomach I’m preparing for this time, you know, you have a girlfriend who’s got to pick me as her favorite of your sisters or else I’m going to be very different, and I hear the way to a person’s heart is through their stomach!’ 

“I can’t! My dick’s broken!” Lui drunkenly blurted out, louder than he’d anticipated. He’d shown up to Bijou’s ‘welcome back’ party, present in tow for her and everything, even though he was still pretty pissed at her for just vanishing for a whole semester. Maybe she was right, though; maybe he needed to get over himself and not take it so personally. That was why he was here, that was why he was totally hammered -- because he didn’t know how to deal with emotions in a normal way, but he really, really wanted his friend back. Especially right now, when stuff was confusing and he had no idea how to deal with emotions without someone like Bij telling him what to do.

He hadn’t meant to tell her like that, though. He saw the way her eyebrows arched at his statement, and her nails dug into the skin of his arm as she dragged him away to a quieter place, hissing “What do you mean, your dick’s broken?” 

That probably hadn’t been the best way to say it; a sober him might have gotten that she was concerned about the fact that maybe his statement meant a disease or something. After all, she’d totally touched that dick before, she could have been worried about it affecting her, too. But as Lui started to ramble, about how the only disease he’d caught were feelings and he didn’t know what to do with them and how he couldn’t even get it up for other girls anymore because of his heart boner, he realized that Bijou was shaking with silent laughter. “It’s not funny!” he protested, his voice whinier than he was used to it sounding. “I’m not supposed to catch feelings, I don’t know what to do with feelings!” he insisted as he felt Bij wrap him up in a hug, a feeling he didn’t even realize how much he’d been missing.

“Oh poor, stupid Lui,” she said, and Lui realized then that at least one part of the night had been successful -- her voice didn’t sound venomous talking to him anymore, it was back to fond and amused by his predicament. “Let me tell you what you’re going to do about this...” 

WHO DOES WHAT IN YOUR OTP (CHRISTMAS EDITION):

-Who wraps presents horribly and has to get help from the other: Maybe there’s something in Dean’s programming that makes him good at wrapping presents? I don’t think Bianca’s any kind of expert at it, though. She’s tolerably good at it because after her parents divorce she had to wrap her presents for her mom since her dad was a thousand miles away and couldn’t help her do it anymore? So idk I think they both get by, Bianca is too stubborn to ask for help even if she did need it, but she’s fine at wrapping even if Dean is probably better. 

-Who excitedly wakes up their partner on Christmas morning: Bianca? She’d probably get up early to go for a run anyway, and Dean’s such a chill guy that he probably just loves the chance to see her get excited -- and she’s always excited when she comes in first at things, even if it’s just waking up first on Christmas morning lol 

-Who holds the mistletoe over the both of their heads: Bianca if Sylvie is around because even though that girl has 49 other crushes she still finds it irritating that she repeatedly says that Dean’s one of her top crushes even knowing that he has a girlfriend now. Dean the rest of the time because he’s a normal and consistent human being. Videogame. Whatever lol. 

-Who sets up the christmas lights and who holds the ladder: Bianca actually got used to setting these up for her mom after the divorce in New Orleans so my inclination is that it’s her? Dean probably is used to holiday decorations being dropped as part of a Christmas update every year and hasn’t had to do any real work to get them set up lol 

-Who gets angry at little kids and tells them Santa isn’t real: Bianca has more of a temper for sure. But Dean’s really good at holding her back and keeping her calm even when she might be tempted to say something that she could later end up regretting becuase it’s MEAN!

WHO DOES WHAT IN YOUR OTP (CHRISTMAS EDITION):

-Who wraps presents horribly and has to get help from the other: I feel like of the four of them, Jo might be the worst at wrapping presents? I don’t think any of them are like actually BAD at wrapping presents, but she seems to be the one who gets most easily frazzled and it would probably be more of a patience/perfectionist thing than a lack of skill. Fortunately, she and Lyssa grew up together as castle kids so I’m sure that Lyssa would volunteer to wrap with her/help her before she gets to that point, and then they’d all just do a good job! 

-Who excitedly wakes up their partner on Christmas morning: If they were all together in one place I feel like it would be Lyssa or DJ? Clem is too tentative with people and wouldn’t want to annoy anyone, and Jo needs people to remind her to have a little more cheer! I’m gonna go with DJ in the end though because Lyssa is comfy with her family but might be more hesitant with new pals, whereas DJ is a princess and like, would have less hesitation probably since she’s used to being treated as such at home on Christmas at least. 

-Who holds the mistletoe over the both of their heads: Clem is definitely the one putting up mistletoe and hanging around it hoping to have some kind of magical first kiss on a regular year??? She just seems to be the one most looking forward to having a boyfriend and having love in the future. If it’s this year, though, I’d think Lyssa would probably be joining her because she really wants to kiss Albie but she’s too shy to do it first. Jo and especially DJ, on the other hand, probably want to set all the mistletoe in sight on fire lol. 

-Who sets up the christmas lights and who holds the ladder: Clem is tall so I just feel like this falls on her by default? The rest of them are so teeny, Clem is the one who can reach things that the others can’t, so she’d be climbing the ladder and stretching those long limbs of hers out to reach everywhere in sight with the lights. The other three would take turns holding the ladder; I feel like two would do it at a time while the third person was sitting off to the side reading.

-Who gets angry at little kids and tells them Santa isn’t real: DJ and Jo seem like they’re the more temperamental of the bunch; Lyssa and Clem are a little more soft-spoken. My inclination is to say that it would be Jo, though? Like, that day that she lost her progress on her novel I definitely could have seen a kid coming up to her asking her where to send letters to Santa Claus or whatever and have her snap back SANTA ISN’T REAL instead. 

-Who bails the other out of mall jail for telling kids Santa isn’t real: See above! Jo is most likely to go for the literal Santa spoiling crime; DJ, however, I could see ending up in mall jail if she was there having to put up with Lux, and Lyssa or Clem, depending on who had more free time that day, would be there to pick their pals up! 

WHO DOES WHAT IN YOUR OTP (CHRISTMAS EDITION):

-Who wraps presents horribly and has to get help from the other: I feel like Layland is probably the worst wrapper in the bunch? I KNOW HE’S MORE THAN JUST A PRETTY FACE BUT LIKE... TRISTAN IS USED TO BEING REALLY CAREFUL WITH STUFF CUZ OF SCIENCE EXPERIMENTS AND KORI IS MORE ARTISTIC THAN THEY LET ON AND NOLI IS CUTE AND GIRLY AND DALLAS IS A PERFECTIONIST, SO IT’S GOTTA BE LAYLAND. 

-Who excitedly wakes up their partner on Christmas morning: I feel like it would be Dallas. Like, maybe not if it were just Christmas, then Noli or Layland might beat her to it, but it’s NOT just Christmas, it’s also Tristan’s birthday, so she’d be the first one out of bed making sure his day is perfect. 

-Who holds the mistletoe over the both of their heads: Dallas (with Tristan as her sidekick) would be the ones putting mistletoe up for experimental purposes but from like a pure mistletoe hoe standpoint? I feel like it would probably be Noli who would be wearing it as like a headband or something to get kisses from Layland AND FROM KORI BECAUSE THEY NEED TO REALIZE THEY LOVE EACH OTHER YOU GUYS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY WITH THIS ‘WE’RE JUST SHARING A BOYFRIEND WE AREN’T DATING EACH OTHER’ THING

-Who sets up the christmas lights and who holds the ladder: I feel like as the default like macho man of the group, Layland would be the one initially going up the ladder and trying to get everything in place... but also, despite his complete and total lack of Christmas spirit, Tristan is weirdly threatened by Layland and his manliness, so he’d probably end up helping just so that he didn’t feel shown up (which is ridic because like, the girls are probably way better decorators but yolo) 

-Who gets angry at little kids and tells them Santa isn’t real: AS MUCH AS KORI PRETENDS TO BE TOUGH, THEY’RE ACTUALLY A SOFT SO I FEEL LIKE DALLAS WOULD BE THE ONE SPOILING THE SANTA SECRET? She’s just so matter of fact about things -- she wouldn’t even be mad, she’d just talk about the scientific evidence that Santa isn’t real or something in front of a Santa-believer without even meaning to. 

-Who bails the other out of mall jail for telling kids Santa isn’t real: Kori and Tristan are going to mall jail together for stealing Santa’s “sleigh” train thing and riding it around. THEY JUST COULDN’T RESIST, THEY’RE FUN PEOPLE OKAY??? And I feel like Dallas would be the one to bail them out because she’s like, the miniature adult.

WHO DOES WHAT IN YOUR OTP (CHRISTMAS EDITION):

-Who wraps presents horribly and has to get help from the other: Tristan is the worst at wrapping because he doesn’t think wrapping paper is environmentally friendly and he would prefer to use reusable bags for gifts anyway... but also like Odette is the wrapping master. So she’s in here even correcting his usage of tissue paper and bags so that he can impress the recipient of his gift :-p 

-Who excitedly wakes up their partner on Christmas morning: I like... can’t see any of them being real lit about Christmas like that? If Odette’s up early she’s like baking or getting ready for the day instead of interrupting anyone’s sleep and Charlie’s new to the occasion so she wouldn’t wanna overstep and wake people up, and Dawn is probably passed the fuck out cuz he got drunk off eggnog and apple cider or just doing peppermint schnapp shots and saying it’s festive, and Tristan is like... idk the one who was left alone at home with Gaston for extra years while his siblings went to Walt so I feel like his spirit is real stunted. So that leaves Gus! If anybody’s waking anyone up for funsies it’s Gus lol 

-Who holds the mistletoe over the both of their heads: Dawn would absolutely be the Dupont running around with mistletoe because every good fuckboy should use Christmas as an excuse to kiss as many people as possible. 

-Who sets up the christmas lights and who holds the ladder: I feel like Odette and Gus are really the ones who take point on decorations. They don’t trust Dawn not to like... put up a naked Mrs. Claus calendar or like, put dick ornaments on the tree idk what kind of weird frat boy shenans he would pull, and Charlie has her other family to spend time with so if she’s doing Christmas with them it’s just like... an appearance as she’s Christmas hopping and not the entire time so she’s not the decorator, and Tristan’s still stunted af. Although he punts up ornaments once the tree is ready, everybody takes part in that.

-Who gets angry at little kids and tells them Santa isn’t real: If anyone’s doing it it’s Drunk Dawn lol, but I don’t think anyone in this fam would be Grinching that hard. 

-Who bails the other out of mall jail for telling kids Santa isn’t real: If anybody’s going to mall jail it’s either Dawn for more frat boy shenans, or Tristan for some kind of weird social justice warrior move like stealing a dog that got forced to dress up as a reindeer or something. Stealing animals is just a Tristan thing now. ANd Gus and Odette come down like parents to get Tristan... idk who saves Dawn lol maybe this is where Charlie gets hazed into the family, by being the one who Dawn has to hit up for bail XD

WHO DOES WHAT IN YOUR OTP (CHRISTMAS EDITION):

-Who wraps presents horribly and has to get help from the other: UMMMM honestly? I feel like Stabby is the bad one, she’s probably afraid of papercuts or something so she’d try her very best to beg Gio to do all her wrapping for her (or get one of the twins to wrap Gio’s present so she doesn’t spoil the surprise for him. I feel like Lexi refuses because she’s too busy/wrapping Gio’s ex girlfriend’s gift to him is weird, so Lyssa gets the duty because she’s too nice to say no AND PROBABLY ALSO HAS TO REPORT WHAT THE GIFT IS TO LEXI SO THAT LEXI’S GIFT CAN BE A ZILLION TIMES BETTER LOL) 

-Who excitedly wakes up their partner on Christmas morning: REALISTICALLY GIO AND LEXI AND LYSSA ARE ALL HOME AT THE BATB CASTLE BUT imagine they stayed in Walt one year! All the others live in the same cottage but I’m sure they’d invite Ana to spend the night crashing on the couch or in Lyssa’s room or something (or like, in Lexi or Gio’s room? Because they have separate ones but they probably sleep together most of the time so actually Ana just uses the extra bed after she washes it first just in case) SO NOW THAT THEY’RE ALL IN ONE SPOT I feel like the culprit is... Lexi! She’d have a Christmas schedule to stick to and she’d be waking the others up so that they didn’t get behind on it. 

-Who holds the mistletoe over the both of their heads: Gio and Lexi do not NEED mistletoe to be kissing on each other and Ana and Lyssa are gonna be avoiding it like the plague because kissing your ex boyfriend/your sister’s boyfriend is SERIOUSLY BAD MOJO. I, however, could see Gio being the helpful big brother/best friend and getting Lyssa and Ana to invite Albie and Napoleon over and thinking he’s being slick by putting mistletoe up to try and get his two non-girlfriend best girls their Christmas kisses lol 

-Who sets up the christmas lights and who holds the ladder: I feel like Lexi and Gio take point on this. They’re the practically married ones so they’d have the ‘homemaker’ vibe down more than the girl who’s probably too lost in her own daydreams to put the lights up correctly and the girl who loves to steal shit and would just be confused about how to make a cute normal home? So Gio holds the ladder for Lexi to put up the lights just so. 

-Who gets angry at little kids and tells them Santa isn’t real: None of them! Lexi might get stressed about doing a perfect Christmas to the point that she gets close, and Ana might be close if she’s grumpy enough... but deep down nobody wants to ruin Christmas for anybody else, Stabby most of all because I feel like she’s got the past with the least-love filled Christmasses to make up for. 

-Who bails the other out of mall jail for telling kids Santa isn’t real: LMAOOOO if that was the first time Stabby actually got caught stealing and ended up in mall jail I’d laugh so hard! Realistically though I feel like if anyone’s going to mall jail it would be Lexi for getting stressed and causing a scene, or Lyssa for like... being distracted and when she’s summoned accidentally carrying a book out of a store that’s not actually hers lol

WHO DOES WHAT IN YOUR OTP (CHRISTMAS EDITION):

-Who wraps presents horribly and has to get help from the other: Charlie’s the daughter of Charlotte La Bouff and the sister of TIa so I feel like she knows a thing or two about doing a good job with giftwrapping! I doubt Bianca asks for help, though; she’s not conscientious enough to agonize, she’d just toss gifts into a bag with tissue paper tbh. 

-Who excitedly wakes up their partner on Christmas morning: I feel like Charlie’s probably the more festive one for some reason? So if they’re together for Christmas I feel like Charlie’s the one waking people up. 

-Who holds the mistletoe over the both of their heads: LOL I can’t see either of them really being super into mistletoe although Charlie has a history of it with her boyfriend now so maybe if Bean weren’t together yet she would have tried to use mistletoe to magic them together like it happened for her and Wes :-p 

-Who sets up the christmas lights and who holds the ladder: Bianca would be stubborn and insist that she can just like, lift Charlie up to reach the high parts instead of getting a ladder involved and tease Charlie about being tiny at the same time lol 

-Who gets angry at little kids and tells them Santa isn’t real: Neither! Charlie is like a 17 year old mom and Bianca just like... wouldn’t think to do that I don’t think. Maybe to like a REALLY annoying kid but they’d have to be super extra over the top bratty to get that treatment