#shadows talks

I don't know if this is just me or if this a thing for others too. The smell of "hospital" isn't disgusting to me. It's calming in a way i can't describe. I was the sick kid and age 10 onwards i've spent so much time in hospitals; months upon months upon months. Different hospitals, different wards, different types of hospitals, completely different reasons etc. The inside of hospitals and the smell specifically... To a part of me it always feels like coming home. I hate it. I hate it so much. I kind of get it but I also don't. So many of my worst memories, traumas happened in hospitals. How can it still feel like that's where i'm supposed to be?

When doctors get their egos hurt because i know my way around their field without having studied it at university but i've been educating med students since i was 11 years old

So when your skin is really dry and you put lotion on it, it can cause a bit of a tingling or burning sensation for a moment. That's normal. Your skin getting red and becoming hot to the touch. That. That's not normal. Did i just realize this after 7 years of trying to figure out why i couldn't keep to any skin care routine, no matter how simple? Yep. Do i now feel really stupid? Yeah, so much so

I despise convulsive presyncope and convulsive syncope so much. POTS fucking sucks. Oh there's too much wet and pressure in the air let's have a seizure about it! What kind of fucking bullshit is that?!