#shadowjournaling

"i don't know what i want anymore."

Maybe a part of me hopes you see this and see my profile photo and just know. But this is not me calling out to you hoping you finally tell me how you truly feel about me and want to actually try something real with me. This is me saying goodbye. This is me setting boundaries for myself so I can allow someone so beautifully chaotic and creative to match my energy and give me the love that I deserve. My love language is written in books, the ones where you read your favorite lines over and over again and sigh hopelessly, daydreaming about a love like that you could achieve someday. I feel it fervently in my universal being that if someone like myself who could love others so beautifully will meet her match, and that love will be cosmic. It will be watching two stars collide and become one gigantic beautiful explosion. I hope that when you see this you don't feel regret for what happened between us, I want you to hold on to the love that I gave you. The beautiful words I put together for you, the photos, the videos, the gifts because that is truly how you deserve to be loved. Do not regret or be guilty, that's not what this is for, this is for you as much as it is for me. You are a beautiful, chaotic, and passionate tsunami. You've taught me a lot about myself and the world and I am forever grateful for you, please take the love that I will always have for you and keep it by your side until you know the worth that you are. You deserve this love as much as I do and for that I could never look at you in disdain or blame we are just two flames who burned together for a little while and created a roaring symphony that sang to the universe for a flicker.