#sh:chapter2

Lexie: I have to say, I’m having a really great time!

Izzy: The straights just don’t do it like we do.

Kelsey: That’s for damn sure! So, how are you feeling about everything?

Lexie: I’m still not sure. Like, this is fun but I don’t know if a night out dancing is going to make it any easier to break Johnny’s heart.

Izzy: Do you see anybody you’re interested in?

Lexie: I’ve seen a couple of girls I’d like to talk to, but I feel weird about flirting with someone when I’m still in a relationship.

Kelsey: You don’t have to act on anything. It doesn’t hurt to flirt a bit. 

Lexie: I don’t know, I already feel like the worst person in the world for doing all of this behind his back. He doesn’t even know what’s going on.

Kelsey: Well, whatever you’re comfortable with. 

Lexie: I’ll be right back, I’m going to the bathroom.

Kelsey: Ok, don’t do anything we wouldn’t do!

Lexie: Ha! You wish.

[Lexie is washing her hands when someone in the bathroom recognizes her]

Liz: Hey, I know you from somewhere.

Lexie: Oh, you’re Chantal’s friend, right? I’m dating her brother.

Liz: Is that so? What are you doing here?

Lexie: My friends invited me out. 

Liz: Oh, that’s too bad. I thought maybe you were having a gay awakening or something. I was going to shoot my shot.

Lexie: Really? With me?

Liz: Duh, you’re, like, really hot.

Lexie: Well, uh, thanks. You’re pretty hot yourself.

Liz: Hmm, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were flirting with me. But…you have a boyfriend.

Lexie: Boyfriend. Right. I-I have one of those.

Liz: You know…what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. We can have a little fun together if you want.

Lexie: I-I can’t. I wouldn’t do that to him.

Liz: [murmuring into Lexie's ear] But you want to, don’t you?

Lexie: I--[Lexie begins to protest but her voice trails off as Liz moves in closer]

[Liz kisses Lexie. Against her better judgment, Lexie finds herself kissing Liz back]

Liz: Still thinking about your boyfriend?

Lexie: I’m sorry, I can’t do this right now.

Liz: Too bad. You know where to find me when you change your mind.

[Lexie returns to Kelsey and Izzy]

Lexie: Hey, thanks for inviting me out but I think I’m gonna call it a night.

Kelsey: Is everything ok?

Lexie: Yeah, there’s just something I need to do.

[Lexie is outside studying by the pool. She’s staring at Cece, who is sunbathing. Johnny approaches her.]

Johnny: Hey, whatcha doing?

Lexie: Oh, nothing, I just zoned out. 

Johnny: What’s on your mind?

Lexie: Do you think we have a good sex life? Like are you satisfied?

Johnny: Wait, is this because of the conversation we had with our friends the other day?

Lexie: [nervously] Huh? What do you mean?

Johnny: Because I said I could see myself possibly being attracted to a guy. That doesn’t bother you or something, does it?

Lexie: Oh, no, I don’t care about that. It’s pretty obvious you’re attracted to me.

Johnny: Ok, so what made you bring up our sex life?

Lexie: Nothing, I was just feeling a little insecure. I think I’m going to walk over to Izzy and Kelsey’s. I told them I’d stop by today.

Johnny: Okay, I’m about to head over to my mom’s for her birthday party, so I guess I’ll see you later.

[Lexie walks to Izzy and Kelsey’s apartment]

Lexie: It’s just everything you were saying about compulsory heterosexuality aligned with how I’ve been feeling about Johnny. 

Kelsey: So you think you might be gay?

Lexie: I don’t know. Like, sex is okay, but I don’t feel what everyone else describes. I just feel empty, then I feel guilty for feeling empty because it seems to mean so much to him.

Izzy: Could you be asexual?

Lexie: I don’t think so. At first I thought maybe I could be. I’ve never really gotten butterflies around anyone...but then that changed.

Kelsey: I’m assuming it’s not Johnny you’re talking about.

Lexie: No. It’s so awful. I feel like the worst person in the world.

Izzy: Lexie, you can’t help the way you feel.

Kelsey: Yeah, you didn’t know. Who is it that you’re attracted to?

Lexie: That’s why it’s so horrible. It’s his sister, Cece.

Kelsey: Oh, Lexie. 

Lexie: I know. I couldn’t figure out why I hated her boyfriend or why I felt so hurt when she didn’t want to spend time with me. But I think it’s because I felt like she was choosing him over me. Which is silly because she’s straight, and I’m dating her brother.

Izzy: So what are you going to do?

Lexie: I feel like I should break up with him, but what if I’m wrong?

Kelsey: I know you care about Johnny, but do you think you could ever feel the same way about him that he does about you?

Lexie: Probably not. Ugh, this sucks! He’s going to be so heartbroken. The last thing I want to do is hurt him. He means so much to me.

Izzy: If he means so much, then I’m sure you want him to be with someone who can truly love him. He won’t get that chance if you keep stringing him along.

Lexie: [sighing] You’re right.

Kelsey: Look, I know this is a lot to process. You don’t have to do anything right now. Why don’t you come with us to a gay club this weekend? 

Izzy: Yeah, maybe being out in the community will help you feel less anxious about everything.

Lexie: I guess I can give it a try.

The next story post contains the following trigger warnings: C-PTSD, PTSD, child abuse. There is also a gif in the post. The post is tagged for the triggers and "gif warning." There is no graphic imaging in the post, but use your discretion if those topics are triggering to you.

Cece: How’s therapy been going?

Chantal: Good, I think. We’re just getting started but I really like my therapist so far. 

Johnny: Don’t bother with therapy, it’s a waste of time.

Cece: No, it’s not. Just because you’re wallowing in misery doesn’t mean everyone else has to.

Johnny: I’m not wallowing. And it’s true. If I never went to therapy I never would have asked Lexie out or started talking to my mom again. I’d be a lot happier.

Chantal: Therapy didn’t make your girlfriend gay or keep mom from making better choices. Sometimes bad things happen. If you were still going to therapy, maybe you’d start feeling better instead of rotting away on the couch.

Johnny: That’s easy for you to say. You haven’t been through what I have.

Chantal: Maybe I wasn’t physically abused, but I still grew up in the same bad environment where my needs weren’t met. You're not the only one with trauma, you know.

Johnny: Oh, you have trauma. Is that why you were sleeping with your boss?

Chantal: That really hurts. I know I could have made better decisions, but that’s why I’m in therapy. I want to work on my self-esteem.

Cece: Johnny, why would you even say that? Leave Chantal alone. At least she’s trying to do something with her life. You’ve been moping for weeks. Did you even go to your finals?

Johnny: No, but it doesn’t matter now.

Chantal: What do you mean it doesn’t matter? Can you even pass your classes if you don’t take the finals?

Johnny: No, I can’t. But I dropped out anyhow.

Cece: You dropped out of school?

Chantal: What were you thinking?

Johnny: Oh, come on. I just picked Drama as a major because it seemed fun. I don’t have any idea of what I want to do with my life. Going to college is just a big waste of my time.

Chantal: I guess if you don’t want to go to school, that’s your choice, but where are you going to live? You have to be a student to live in the apartments.

Johnny: Can’t you just pretend you live by yourself? They won’t know I’m here.

Cece: Um, and who’s going to pay for your part of the rent? Dad and Pops are helping you out because you’re supposed to be getting your degree. They’re not going to just give you rent money for nothing.

Chantal: Yeah, and I can’t afford this place by myself now that I lost my job.

Johnny: Fine. I guess I’ll ask Dad and Pops if I can stay there for a while.

Chantal: I’ll give you a couple of weeks to get your things together, but don’t take advantage.

Cece: Yeah, and our parents aren’t going to let you mooch off of them forever. At some point you’re going to have to act like an adult. 

Johnny: Yeah, whatever.

Johnny: I missed you, baby.

Lexie: We just saw each other yesterday, silly!

Johnny: Well, I want to see you all the time.

Lexie: You’d get sick of me, I promise. And you’d see all the gross stuff I keep hidden. Bad breath, greasy hair, the works.

Johnny: None of that would bother me. I love you, bad breath and all.

Lexie: Johnny, there’s something I need to tell you. I just don’t want you to be upset or take it personally.

Johnny: What’s wrong?

Lexie: Nothing’s wrong exactly. I just might’ve jumped the gun a bit. When you told me you loved me, I said I love you too. But I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet. 

Johnny: Oh. Well, that’s ok.

Lexie: Are you sure? I mean, it’s a big thing to tell someone you love them for the first time. I know opening up like that wasn’t easy for you.

Johnny: I’m disappointed, sure, but I didn’t really mean to say it yet. it just kinda slipped out. 

Lexie: I’m really sorry. I know I shouldn't have said something that I wasn't feeling, but I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. Especially after everything that happened on our trip. You really didn’t do anything wrong. You’re a great boyfriend and one of the best people I know. I think I just need more time is all.

Johnny: You’re right, we are young. Like I said on our trip, I don’t want to rush anything if you’re not ready. I’m a patient guy.

Lexie: I’m glad you’re not upset. And yeah, we should just enjoy our time together without putting too much pressure on ourselves. 

Johnny: Yeah, who knows…maybe your breath will scare me away after all.' “'What happened with you and Lexie?' 'Oh, you know, she’s so gross I couldn’t take it anymore!'

Lexie: [laughing and playfully hitting Johnny's arm] Shut up!

Izzy: Look Donovan, there goes your girlfriend! [laughs]

Lexie: Girlfriend? Is someone switching teams?

Donovan: Hardly. Just a girl with no gaydar, apparently.

Chase: What would it take for you to get with a girl? Like, what if she offered you a ton of money?

Donovan: Not for a million dollars!

Izzy: Shit, I think I could be persuaded if she offered me a cheeseburger at this point. It’s hard out here for a college student.

Donovan: Not that hard!

Johnny: Izzy, get some standards, man. At least hold out for something better than fast food.

Chase: Do you really think you could be with a girl, though? Even if someone offered me something I really wanted to be with a guy, at the end of the day I’m 100% straight.

Izzy: Well, silly hypothetical scenarios aside, I’m not sure that I’d say I’m 100% gay. I can’t picture myself being attracted to a girl, but things aren’t always so black and white.

Johnny: I think I’m with Izzy. I’ve never been attracted to a guy, but can’t I say for sure it couldn’t happen with the right person. Never say never, I guess.

Kelsey: Team pansexual!. I’m just attracted to whoever I’m attracted to.

Donovan: What about you, Lexie?

Lexie: Oh, I don’t know. I guess I’ve never really thought about it before.

Izzy: Hey, did you guys hear that Venessa Jeong came out as a lesbian?

Lexie: Really? She’s had so many boyfriends! She was in the closet that whole time?

Izzy: Not exactly. She didn’t realize she was gay until recently.

Lexie: Not to be rude, but how could someone not realize they’re gay?

Kelsey: That’s comphet for you.

Johnny: Comphet? Sounds like an exotic noodle dish.

Kelsey: It means compulsory heterosexuality. Basically, it’s the idea that being straight is so ingrained in our culture that a lot of queer people, especially women, don’t even consider being gay as an option.

Lexie: Yeah, but how did she have sex with guys for all those years if she’s not attracted to men?

Izzy: I think it goes back to what we were talking about earlier. Being gay doesn’t mean you’re disgusted by the opposite sex. I’m not going to burst into flames if a woman touches me.

Donovan: I might!

Kelsey: I think Venessa said it took her a while to realize some of her feelings about sex and relationships weren’t normal. She thought she was just nervous about it because she usually lost interest after guys starting like her back.

Lexie: Like she just wanted them to like her, even though she wasn’t sure she liked them the same way?

Kelsey: Yeah, pretty much. She tried to make herself like them, but she couldn’t ever match their feelings. Does it make more sense to you now?

Lexie: Yeah, it does.

Lou: Chantal, I just want to say I appreciate you helping out with this case. You could’ve just walked away and washed your hands of all of this, but what you’re doing is going to help a lot of people.

Chantal: I hope so. I feel bad enough that I’ve been working for a company that’s doing such horrible things.

Lou: The important thing is that you’re doing something about it now. I understand you have some reservations about this whole thing. I know lawyers don’t have the greatest reputations, but I promise you–and your dads– that you’re in good hands.

David: Father to father, we’re worried about what this company is capable of. How do we know that testifying against them won’t have consequences for Chantal?

Lou: Look, as a father, I wouldn’t put a young woman through this if I didn’t think we had a strong case. Thanks to your daughter, we do. The evidence speaks for itself, but with Chantal’s testimony, we have it in the bag.

Solomon: Well, it’s up to Chantal if she wants to proceed with testifying. What do you think, honey?

Chantal: I want to do what I can to make things right. If that means testifying against SNOOT and putting myself at risk for retaliation, then so be it. I just can’t walk away knowing I could’ve done something and didn’t.

Lou: You’re doing the right thing. I’ll work with you to prepare you for what kind of questions they might ask and how to answer them. I promise you, everything’s going to be fine. And if they try anything after the trial, let me know and I’ll help you however I can.

Chantal: Thanks so much! I feel better now. I can’t wait to see Ambrose get what she deserves.

TRIGGER WARNING: This post contains C-PTSD flashbacks relating to child abuse. While not graphic, please use your own discretion in continuing with this post if those topics are triggering or upsetting to you.

Bonnie: I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for coming out to celebrate my birthday with me. We’ve been through a lot as a family, but I’m so glad that we’re all here together now.

Johnny: Happy birthday, Mom!

Chantal and Destiny: Happy birthday!

Trinity: Just cut the cake already!

[laughter]

Johnny: So you’re the kid who’s dating my little sister. What’s your deal? Got a job yet?

Demarcus: No, sir, I’m only 12.

Johnny: Hmm. Well, I hope you’re treating my sister right. I know how 12-year-old boys are. I was one, after all.

[Johnny starts to put his hand on Demarcus’ shoulder]

Demarcus: Ah! Don't hurt me!

[Johnny has a flashback of Jimmy: Don't be such a brat and I won't have to!]

Johnny: I won't, why would you think that?

Demarcus: I dunno. Isn’t that what big brothers do?

Johnny: No! I was just messing with you. I would never…I’ll be back.

[Johnny goes to the bathroom to compose himself] 

Bonnie: [holding Darien] And there’s your Auntie Chantal!

Chantal: Hey sweet boy!

Destiny: Sorry Mom, I’m gonna have to take him back so I can put him down for a nap. 

Bonnie: Aw, sweet dreams little guy! [to Chantal] Doesn’t he make you want one of your own?

Chantal: Nope! I’m done with men anyhow.

Bonnie: I can’t blame you for that one. They cause nothin’ but trouble.

[The front door opens]

Trinity: Dad!

Jimmy: Hey princess! I thought I’d stop by to say hello since I didn’t get to see you this weekend.

Chantal: Mom, what the fuck? Why is he here?

Bonnie: Jimmy, I told you not to come!

Jimmy: Relax, I’ll just be a second. Hey, Johnny! Listen, I've been wanting--

Chantal: Don’t you fucking get near him!

Destiny: Stay back, Jimmy!

Jimmy: I just want to apologize!

[Chantal and Destiny block Jimmy from getting near Johnny. Johnny runs out of the apartment]

Bonnie: Johnny! Wait!

[Everyone follows Johnny outside]

Chantal: Jimmy, get the fuck out of here before I fucking end you!

Destiny: Leave, Jimmy!

Jimmy: Fine, I’m leaving! This wouldn’t be a problem if he wasn’t such a pussy.

Destiny: [to Bonnie] We’ve got him.

Johnny: [to Chantal] Please take me home.

Bonnie: Johnny, I’m so sorry, I told him not to come. I–

Chantal: Stop! You’ve done enough. Let’s go, bubs.

Lilian: Chantal, there’s someone I’d like you to meet. This is my sister, Julianne.

Julianne: I just wanted to thank you for coming forward with all of the information you had. It really helped my case. Now that Ambrose is responsible for paying my medical bills, I’ll finally be able to continue my medical treatments. And the award for pain and suffering will make up for the income I lost after losing my job.

Chantal: It was the least I could do. I’m glad you and the other victims can finally move on and that Ambrose will be paying for what she’s done.

Lilian: If you need anything let me know. I hope I’ll see you around.

Chantal: Sure, see you!

[Ambrose and Nico approach Chantal. David starts to walk towards them, but Solomon stops him]

Solomon: She can handle this.

Ambrose: You! You sneaky little rat! You were supposed to be on my side. You’ll pay for this, Chantel!

Chantal: My name is Chantal! And from what I hear, I think you’re the one who’ll be paying. I do want to thank you, though. I did learn a lot from you about how not to run a business. 

Chantal: [turns to Nico] And Nico, I want to thank you for teaching me what kind of man I don’t want. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a lot of big plans I need to focus on, and I’m not letting either of you stand in my way.

Chantal: [continues] Oh, and if you contact me again, you’ll be hearing from my lawyer.

David: We’re so proud of you honey!

Solomon: You did the right thing, and it really paid off.

Chantal: Yeah, I’m just glad some good came from this whole situation. This whole thing made me realize that I do have some trauma from my upbringing that I need to address. I’ve always tried to ignore it, but I think it’s time I started therapy.

David: I think that’s a great idea.

Solomon: I hope you feel more comfortable coming to us with your problems. 

Chantal: I do! Thanks for being there for me today...and every day.