As time went on, Vaughn continued to be a thorn in my side. In addition to rejecting my ideas, I was right about him replacing my roles on set more and more often.

The hard thing is that my co-workers are talented on their own and do a fine job in the roles they take over. It makes me feel expendable. 

Because the decisions he’s making turn out okay in the end, I feel like there’s not much I can do. It’s not like the channel is going to fall apart without me when I’m just one of many talented people there.

The bright spot in all of this is that the fans are starting to take notice. A lot of people have been leaving comments about my absence, some even wondering if I’m still on the channel. After this goes on for a while, Vaughn throws me a bone and casts me in a video. 

I have to admit it felt pretty good reading the comments and seeing so many people being happy about my return. The whole thing makes me feel more appreciated. That doesn’t solve my problem, though.

Vaughn obviously still dislikes me and wants me gone. Maybe he’s hoping I’ll have enough and leave on my own, but he’s underestimating me. I’m not going without a fight.

I just don’t want to spend the rest of my career sparring with Vaughn while my co-workers thrive in the spotlight. If he were to leave, then my problem would be solved. Unfortunately, I don’t think he’s one to give up easily either.  

Once the desks arrive for the new work area, I get to work on setting it all up (well, me and a few interns). Lacey helps when she has time, if only to make sure I'm presenting the right aesthetic, which apparently is pretty important when choosing decor for your work station. I think I did pretty good.

We're excited to see that our break area is part of the revamp as well. Right now things seem pretty empty as it's just been me and Lacey in our area until the new staff members arrive. Oh, and Lucy, too, since she has a new office.

But that's all set to change because the new staff is set to arrive any minute now. I'm in Lucy's office and she's filling me in on what I need to know before they get here.

“Damien has always been interested in creating a student program,” she explains. 

“But we already have interns,” I respond, confused.

“We do, but this goes beyond what you’d find in a typical internship,” she replies. “This is part of a collaboration with Del Sol University to help students earn credits and gain some on the job experience at the same time. Plus there's the possibility of being offered a full-time position once they graduate.”

“That sounds like a good opportunity. What exactly will they be doing?”

“A little bit of everything. They’ll learn things in every department and help with some of the smaller tasks. I’ll be supervising them, so I’ll have my own little team now. That's why I wanted to move my office here.”

“Oh, more underlings for you. How exciting!”

“Oh, shut up!” Lucy rolls up a piece of paper and throws it at me, hitting me square in the face.

“This is turning into a hostile work environment!” I shout gleefully, launching the paper ball back at her.

“Take it up with HR." She smirks.

“I’ll be a step above the students though, right?” I ask, returning to the topic at hand. “So I’ll kinda be like their boss.”

“Uh, no,” Lucy corrects me. “But I do need you to show them around, you know, get them acquainted with everything.”

“I guess I can do that.”

“Wasn’t really asking, but good. They’ll be here in about 30 minutes.”

Once we receive word that the students have arrived I make my way to the lobby to greet them. When I open the lobby door I stop dead in my tracks.

Standing in front of me are Chase, Kelsey, Izzy, Donovan, and…Lexie.

“Johnny!” Lexie exclaims in surprise.

“Wait, you’re the PA?” Izzy asks.

“Yep,” I reply, more curtly than I intended. “Well, I guess I’ll give you the tour.”

They follow me through the lobby doors. Our footsteps are the only sound filling the hallway. Beads of sweat form on my hairline and I quickly wipe them away. 

“So are you like our boss?” Chase finally asks.

“Kind of,” I lie. 

We make it to the studio door and I swipe my badge. “I don’t know if you’ll get one of these,” I tell them. "They don’t give them out to just anyone.”

Pretty much everyone here has one, but my insecurity has put me on a bit of a power trip. A familiar feeling lately.

Once we’re on set, the group starts chatting about how cool it is. It wasn’t that long ago that I was in their spot, looking around this room in awe. Now it was just another room in the building. I guess that's progress.

Lacey and Lilly are rehearsing on one of the sets. They spot us and head over.

“Hey, Johnny!” They call.

“Hey! These are my friends Lacey and Lilly,” I tell the students.

“Oh, the students!” Lilly says excitedly. “I love when we get new staff members.”

“You’re gonna love it here!” Lacey tells them.

“I can’t believe we’re actually meeting you two!” Lexie gushes. Our eyes meet for a second and I look away abruptly. The image of her tear-stained face as she told me she couldn't be my girlfriend anymore replays in my mind every time I look at her.

“Yeah, we watch your videos all the time!” Kelsey adds. “Johnny can tell you.” Chase nudges them with his elbow.

Lacey raises her eyebrows. “Johnny, you know them?”

Everyone quiets down really quickly. “Yeah,” I say. “I was at DSV with them for a bit.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you were a student!”

“Uh, well, I’m not anymore. College wasn’t really for me.”

It starts to fall silent again, but Izzy quickly intervenes.

“Well, we loved the Voidcritters video you just put out,” he tells Lacey and Lilly. “The costumes were amazing!”

They start discussing the video and I zone out, hoping that Lucy will appear so I can go somewhere and gather my thoughts. Luckily she walks in the studio while Lilly is still explaining the symbolism behind her costume.

“Oh, here you are!” Lucy says as she walks towards us. “I see Johnny is giving you guys the grand tour.”

“Yeah, I was. But I just remembered something I need to do for Damien. Are you able to take over?”

“Sure, no problem!” Lucy agrees. “It’s probably for the best, there’s no telling what this guy will tell you!”

Everyone laughs politely, like they don't already know exactly what I'm capable of. 

I exit the studio and go into the nearest bathroom. I splash my face with water, taking deep breaths as I do.

As I pat my face dry, I think to myself, It’s going to be okay. You can get through this. 

I pull out my phone and shoot a text to Khadija asking if my next appointment can be moved up. Luckily, she has an appointment available for this afternoon.

The next time I arrive at work, I remind myself that I need to be an adult about this whole situation. I figure I should start by admitting to Lexie and the others that I exaggerated my importance at the company. Before I can get settled in, though, I get a text from Lucy asking to see me in her office. 

“Hey, how’d it go with your new minions?” I ask. I can tell by the annoyance on her face that my joke didn’t land.

“I wanted to talk to you about that, actually.” Uh oh. I realize I might actually be in trouble.

“Sure, what about?”

“Did you tell the students that you’re their boss?” She folds her arms across her chest.

“Oh yeah, I did say that, but I’m going to tell them I was just joking.”

“Well, joking around is fine, but misrepresenting your role goes a step too far. I needed you to help them get acquainted with their new workplace, not confuse them about the chain of command.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it would be such a big deal.”

“It’s not just that, though. I didn’t mind finishing up the tour for you, but there were other things I needed you to do yesterday and you were nowhere to be found. When I asked Damien what you were doing for him, he said he hadn’t given you any assignments. This isn’t like you, Johnny. What’s going on?”

I don’t know what to say. I know I dropped the ball, but I also don’t want to have to explain why I dipped out like I did. “I really am sorry,” I tell her. “I know it’s not an excuse, but I was feeling really anxious about something and I needed to step away.”

I can see her face soften a bit. “Look, I’m sorry that you were struggling yesterday,” she responds. “Mental health should always be a priority, but I really need you to communicate these things to me. If you need to take some time to yourself or you need a mental health day, please just let me know.”

For some reason it never occurred to me that I could have just talked to her about it. “Okay, I’ll make sure to come to you next time,” I promise. “I’m sorry I let you down. Whatever you need from me today I’ll do it. Actually, I was going to ask about getting security badges for the students. I, uh, might’ve made it sound like they weren’t important enough to get one.”

Lucy exhales loudly through her nose. “Yes, I’ll put in a request. I’ll let you know when they’re ready.”

“Okay, thanks.”

“And Johnny, I know you can do better than this. Don’t get in your own way.”

Once the badges are ready, I deliver them to the students.

“I thought you said we wouldn’t get one of these?” Izzy asks.

“Yeah, I was just trying to make myself seem important,” I admit. “Just like when I said I’m kind of your boss. I don’t actually have any authority here, but if you ever need something I’ll do what I can to help.”

“Johnny, you don’t have to impress us,” Lexie says gently.

“Yeah,” Donovan adds. “We all think it’s cool that you got a job here.”

“Well, I’m sorry for lying. I know you probably heard about some of the stuff I was getting into over the summer and I didn’t want you to think I was still a fuck up.”

“Hey, man, we never thought you were,” Chase tells me. “We were mostly just worried about you.”

“Yeah, we were all relieved to see you’re doing so well,” Kelsey chimes in.

All I can do is smile and nod. I’m afraid if I say anything, I’ll start crying. Not because I’m sad, though. I feel happy that I have so many people in my life that care about me. Even if things are awkward for a while, I feel like everything might actually be okay.

Izzy: Look Donovan, there goes your girlfriend! [laughs]

Lexie: Girlfriend? Is someone switching teams?

Donovan: Hardly. Just a girl with no gaydar, apparently.

Chase: What would it take for you to get with a girl? Like, what if she offered you a ton of money?

Donovan: Not for a million dollars!

Izzy: Shit, I think I could be persuaded if she offered me a cheeseburger at this point. It’s hard out here for a college student.

Donovan: Not that hard!

Johnny: Izzy, get some standards, man. At least hold out for something better than fast food.

Chase: Do you really think you could be with a girl, though? Even if someone offered me something I really wanted to be with a guy, at the end of the day I’m 100% straight.

Izzy: Well, silly hypothetical scenarios aside, I’m not sure that I’d say I’m 100% gay. I can’t picture myself being attracted to a girl, but things aren’t always so black and white.

Johnny: I think I’m with Izzy. I’ve never been attracted to a guy, but can’t I say for sure it couldn’t happen with the right person. Never say never, I guess.

Kelsey: Team pansexual!. I’m just attracted to whoever I’m attracted to.

Donovan: What about you, Lexie?

Lexie: Oh, I don’t know. I guess I’ve never really thought about it before.

Izzy: Hey, did you guys hear that Venessa Jeong came out as a lesbian?

Lexie: Really? She’s had so many boyfriends! She was in the closet that whole time?

Izzy: Not exactly. She didn’t realize she was gay until recently.

Lexie: Not to be rude, but how could someone not realize they’re gay?

Kelsey: That’s comphet for you.

Johnny: Comphet? Sounds like an exotic noodle dish.

Kelsey: It means compulsory heterosexuality. Basically, it’s the idea that being straight is so ingrained in our culture that a lot of queer people, especially women, don’t even consider being gay as an option.

Lexie: Yeah, but how did she have sex with guys for all those years if she’s not attracted to men?

Izzy: I think it goes back to what we were talking about earlier. Being gay doesn’t mean you’re disgusted by the opposite sex. I’m not going to burst into flames if a woman touches me.

Donovan: I might!

Kelsey: I think Venessa said it took her a while to realize some of her feelings about sex and relationships weren’t normal. She thought she was just nervous about it because she usually lost interest after guys starting like her back.

Lexie: Like she just wanted them to like her, even though she wasn’t sure she liked them the same way?

Kelsey: Yeah, pretty much. She tried to make herself like them, but she couldn’t ever match their feelings. Does it make more sense to you now?

Lexie: Yeah, it does.

Kelsey: Now that we’re making more money from our streams, we should start thinking about making this place look a little nicer.

Chase: Why, what’s wrong with it?

Izzy: No offense, but it looks like a straight guy lives here.

Chase: A straight guy does live here.

Donovan: Yeah, but you’re outnumbered. It’s not giving enough queer energy.

Johnny: I think it has character. Thanks to my sister, my place looks like one of the showrooms at IKEA. 

Izzy: You only like it because you’re also a straight guy. 

Lexie: While we’re talking about the stream, did you ban those guys who were causing all the trouble last night? I was enjoying my birthday stream until they started demanding I take my top off.

Chase: I did. The chat should now be incel free.

Lexie: Until more of them show up, that is. 

Kelsey: Yeah, that’s why I stopped turning on my camera. Anyone who’s female presenting is a target. They don’t care if I’m enby. In fact, if I bring it up it just makes them troll harder.

Donovan: Add to that the racists and homophobes, and we’re all having a bad time. Well, except for Chase.

Chase: I’m sorry you all have to deal with that shit. Is there anything I can do to keep those kinds of people away? I give out warnings and bans, but I don’t always see everything right away when we're in the middle of a game.

Izzy: We could use some moderators.

Johnny: I know a lot of streamers have rules for their chat.

Kelsey: That’s a good idea. But if we’re going to set rules, we need to make sure we stick to them. You give them an inch, they take a mile.

Chase: Noted. I have some buddies who’d probably be up for helping with moderation. And I’ll definitely continue to call them out on their shit when I see it.

Lexie: Just be prepared for the inevitable white knight comments.

Kelsey: We can get you a nice suit of armor for Christmas to help you settle into your new role.

Chase: Awesome! Do I get a sword, too? Ooh, how about one of those lances they use for jousting?

Donovan: There’s no way we’re trusting you with any sharp objects after The Great Pumpkin Carving Incident a few weeks ago.

Chase: Aw, c’mon, ‘tis but a scratch!