#sh 3x07

He’s saying that he’d do the same thing for Jace right? Like he would have also asked Raziel to bring Jace back?

Cuz I’ve seen someone people say that he meant he’d do the same thing had it been Magnus (because of the look Magnus gives them) but idk...I’m not convinced.

I’m pretty sure he meant he’d ask to have Jace brought back...

Good evening my lovelies. 

Let’s jump right into this. 

[NOTE: For clarity purposes, I’ll be referring to possessed Jace as “Not-Jace”, and the real Jace as Jace. Does that make sense? I hope so.]

3x07.

Alright, so last week, we reached a climax to what some of us thought was one of the biggest “what the fuck is going to happen” moments thus far. 

Clary told Alec about the wish! 

Now, I know I said I wanted him to be mad, and give her the silent treatment, and blah blah blah, but guess what? After that episode, I went back to watch some things over again, remember what kind of person Alec is and... *drumroll*

I reevaluated my stance. 

Of course Alec wasn’t angry, and the more I think about it, the more I realize how wrong I was to assume that he would be. She used the wish to bring back someone she loved, and he would’ve done the exact same thing if he’d been in her position. There’s been a lot of talk about Magnus specifically, but this includes more than just him, guys. 

If Alec had been at that lake with anyone - Magnus, Jace, Izzy, Maryse - he would’ve done the same thing, because Alec will bend and break every rule when it comes to those that he loves. 

Now, before I get into the emotional shit, I want to talk about 3x07 some more. 

If you weren’t aware (which I doubt), Alec has some serious issues with internalized guilt, meaning he has a tendency to take responsibility/blame himself for things that are out of his control. (The example that comes to mind when I think of this is his conversation with Jace on the roof in 2x05.) 

Naturally, when Alec found out Jace was the owl, I was worried, because I knew he’d find a way to blame himself. “I should’ve paid more attention”, “I should’ve pressed harder”, “I should’ve known he was lying about the treatment”. These are all things I’m sure went through his mind at one point, and while it’s normal to feel like you could’ve done more, or caught onto the little things, those thoughts can quickly cause someone to become self-destructive. In Alec’s case, I was concerned he’d want to punish himself more than anything, because again, this is how he functions. 

That being said, the relief I felt when he didn’t do any of those things was immeasurable. He let everything sink in, hugged Clary - who I’m beginning to like more and more - and was ready to do whatever it takes to save his parabatai. (I know some of you guys have issues with that, but I said what I said). 

Now, onto another pressing matter: Malec. 

I basically predicted that entire scene here, and the more I went back and rewatched it, the more content I became. While I’m still waiting for them to have that special talk and iron things out, I’m happy they were able to squash it for the time being. Here’s why. 

You guys are never going to believe this, but...when you get into a fight, or have a disagreement with someone you love, life doesn’t come to a halt. Shit doesn’t suddenly cease to hit the fan because you’re having a lovers quarrel. When we see a couple like Malec, we don’t want them to have issues. We don’t want them to argue, or raise their voices, or feel pain, or be insecure, and when they do, we want everyone and everything to shut up and sit down until they can work things out. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way, and you should be glad they don’t. (Can you imagine how boring that would be?) 

When you analyze things objectively - like I try to do here - you have to look at the big picture, and it isn’t always pretty. It’s the same way in real life. There are going to be days when your boyfriend makes you so mad, you want to break his kneecaps, but you can’t do that, because you have to hang up the phone and get back to work. You can’t afford to take a minute to breathe. There are going to be times where your wife makes a comment out of anger, and it’s going to echo in the back of your head for a week, but your in-laws are in town, and you don’t want them to see you guys fighting. I could come up with scenarios for days, but my point is, life gets in the way sometimes. Whether it’s work, school, kids, family, or something else, you won’t always be able to sit down and take care of things the way you want, when you want. That goes for everyone, including Malec. 

They apologized to one another, and put the entire thing on pause for now. Is it a perfect solution? No. Is it permanent? No. Was it suitable given their current predicament? Yes. 

Magnus Bane isn’t petty enough to continue fighting with the man he loves when that man’s parabatai is being controlled by an evil bitch, and Alexander Lightwood isn’t stubborn enough to rehash that same fight when the man he loves is clearly feeling guilty about having played a small part in what’s happening to his parabatai. No one’s pointing any fingers, no one’s bitter, and no one’s adding insult to injury. 

Moving on. 

Alec, Clary, and Izzy head to Alicante, and two seconds after the Inquisitor learns Jace has been “compromised”, she wanted to know how it happened.

Honestly, I had the urge to tell her to stop being so damn nosy and help them help her grandson, but I digress. 

Alec comes through with a quick save, because when in doubt, deny knowing anything and get to the point. In this case, it doesn’t matter what they say, because Imogen is ready to put out a kill order (since that worked out so well when Aldertree did it). Alec is clearly not having that - he’d rather catch Jace like a Pokemon and fix him afterwards, which is totally reasonable, because when has Alec ever been content with anything bad happening to Jace? 

Then, we got to see him be a great distraction while Imogen took Izzy and Clary to the armory. Homeboy didn’t stutter or freeze up once. Are you proud? I’m proud. 

I was nervous when we got to the scene in the graveyard, because I was under the impression it’d be a lot harder to trap Jace, but thankfully, there was no fight, so I stopped sweating.

Anddd, then they got back to the loft, Not-Jace was talking shit, but it didn’t matter, because at least he was trapped in the configuration and not out ruining lives, right? Right. 

3x08. 

OKAY. IF YOU HAVEN’T GRABBED A SNACK OR A DRINK BY NOW, GO DO THAT. 

This episode. This fucking episode. 

If you read my review, you know I was in my feelings about 98% of the time.

Three minutes into the episode, Not-Jace is talking shit again, and Alec is neither fazed nor impressed. The person staring back at him may look and sound like Jace, but he knows it isn’t.  

Case in point: “You are not our brother, and don’t get too comfortable, because we’re gonna bring him back.”

Word. 

Not-Jace proceeds to talk more shit, but Magnus pops in and confirms what we already know, because Magnus is a smart bean who knows better than to listen to the ramblings of a boy possessed by the queen of Edom. He’s only saying those things to get under their skin - pay him no mind. 

Then, a bomb drops. 

“I just prefer not to coddle your latest soldier boyfriend.”

HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE. 

Magnus glances at Alec, and Alec narrows his eyes in suspicion. Why? 

He never told Jace about the box, or anything having to do with his relationship with Magnus this season. 

As soon as he walked out in the middle of breakfast back in 3x06, who did he go to? Izzy, because she’s the one he talks to about things like that, not Jace. Never Jace, because they don’t talk about those things. (The only time I can remember them discussing relationships was in 1x12 when Jace was felt sick for kissing Clary and acknowledging that he wanted her after finding out they were “siblings”, and again in 2x10 when Alec asked if Jace was going to tell her that they weren’t. Aside from that, they usually avoid the subject.) 

A few minutes later, the group moves to another room to come up with a plan, and as soon as they get one, Alec makes sure to let everyone know that Jace’s possession has to stay between them, because if word gets out that a Shadowhunter’s been possessed by a greater demon, they’re going to want to know how and why, like Imogen. Clary’s covering their asses, so the least he can do is cover hers. This is loyalty. This is the man we stan. 

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the friendship we deserve.

Side note: Matthew was moving his hand while he said that line, and it reminded me of all those times Dom pointed out how much he talks with them. I thought it was cute. 

CUT TO THE BALCONY SCENE. 

Magnus pulls Alec aside to tell him how they can save Jace, and before he can even finish, Alec says he’s in, because why wouldn’t he be? This is Jace we’re talking about, keep up. He’d never hesitate to save him. Magnus then proceeds to explain how serious this is, and what the stakes are, but it doesn’t change anything. This is something Alec feels he needs to do, and Magnus understands, because he knows how much Jace means to him. 

This is important. 

When Alec says “without him, I’m nothing”, he’s not disregarding his feelings for Magnus, or somehow insinuating that he loves Jace more. As viewers, it’s easy to forget that our perception is different than that of the characters. Despite the events of this season, and previous seasons, Alec still perceives Jace as his parabatai. A piece of his soul. Saying he’s nothing without Jace isn’t taking away from his self-worth in any way, nor is it demeaning his relationship with Magnus. This is simply Alec stating how he’d feel if he were to lose Jace for good. News flash: he’s allowed to do that. Magnus knows this, and that’s why he doesn’t get upset, or take offense to it. He can see that Alec’s mind is made up, and he’s all in, on one condition: Alec isn’t going in alone. 

I loved this scene because it was so...I don’t even know how to describe it, and there’s a thesaurus less than two feet away from me right now. The way Matthew keeps that stern look on his face, because Alec can’t fall apart right now. Alec can’t panic, or think about the fact that he could become one of Lilith’s victims as well - the only thing Alec can do is take initiative and try to save his parabatai because that is what Alec Lightwood does. He has to do this, because if he doesn’t, and something happens to Jace, he will never forgive himself for not trying. Then, they hold hands, and it’s heartwarming because you never know how comforting a simple touch can be until you’re already touching. Magnus is already thinking ahead, and considering the possibility of losing Alec in the process of getting Jace back, and Alec takes his hands, because they can’t think like that - not now. 

In the same scene, you could also say this is another way Alec is showing that he trusts Magnus with his life. If it had been any other warlock in this situation telling Alec that Lilith could easily get her hands on him, he may have taken a few seconds to reconsider, or want some time to come up with twelve backup plans just in case, but this isn’t just any warlock he’s talking to. This is Magnus Bane, the love of his life. The man who’d never let anything happen to him. 

I’m swooning. 

Then, we learn that when Magnus said Alec wasn’t going in alone, he wasn’t talking about going with him. He meant he’d be sending Izzy along for the ride. As expected, he doesn’t want his baby sister in danger, but then, she’s kind enough to remind him of the not-so-light coma he slipped into the last time he tried to save Jace alone. Jace was the only person who was able to bring him back from the brink, but they don’t have him to fall back on this time, and he can’t argue with that logic. Again, shout out to Matthew for the facial expressions. I need someone to turn it into a gif and write “why you bringing up old shit?” as the caption. Then he does that little eye roll/pout thing he always does and I just, ugh. I’m in love. 

Fast forward. 

They approach Jace to get this shit going, and Alec has no time for any nonsense. Right when they’re getting in position, you’ll notice his right hand twitching, which is something Alec does when he’s anxious. Not-Jace just can’t keep his mouth closed, and decides to antagonize Magnus. He asks who he thinks Alec would choose if it came down to him and Magnus, and Alec shuts that down immediately, for a couple of reasons (I think). One, Not-Jace is only saying that to get a rise out of Magnus, he doesn’t want to hear it anymore, and two, if it did come down to Jace or Magnus, it’d be an impossible decision. Alec could never truly choose between two people that he loves, and he can’t even fathom being in a position where he’d have to make that choice to begin with. 

You also have to take into account what it would do to Alec if he were to make that kind of choice. Do you honestly believe he’d ever recover from choosing Jace over Magnus? Do you think he’d be able to live with himself after choosing Magnus over Jace? Don’t let your bias/character preference cloud your judgement - think like Alec for a minute. No matter who he chose, it would tear him apart in one way or another. 

The lovely Magnus Bane steps in to remind Alec not to get too worked up, and  that he needs to focus, then they get started. For a minute, it looks like they’re going to succeed but of course, of-fucking-course, Not-Jace has some magic of his own, because Lilith was planning ahead, and knew someone would try to get in his head. (I really, really, really hate her.) 

Fast forward again. 

Not-Jace is chained up like a criminal, and Alec looks like he’s ready to wrap those same chains around his neck. Fortunately, Magnus comes in, and they’re ready to start. 

There’s some magical lighting, glowing runes, and very creepy eyes rolling into the backs of heads, and the flashbacks start. 

We see young Alec and Jace before Alec blinks, and snaps back into reality with Izzy. Again, this is why it’s important to be objective and think like a character. No matter what’s happened, Jace is still Alec’s parabatai, and he’s always going to love him. 

They hear some noise, and walk around a corner to see younger versions of themselves play fighting. Alec smiles at the memory, and it’s sad, because things were so much simpler back then; back when sneaking down to train while their parents were out on mission was something they did for fun. Now, they’ve got demons coming back and possessing people and shit. 

After the younger Alec and Izzy disappear, Alec puts two and two together - like the smart cookie he is - and comes to the conclusion that Lilith has been torturing Jace by taking away everything he loves. Let me say that again so you guys can hear me. 

Lilith has been torturing Jace by taking away everything he loves. 

He looks away for less than a second, and when he turns around again, Izzy is gone. 

Alec can’t seem to catch a break.

Fast forward.

Alec is still looking for Izzy, and finds Clary instead. Well, more like dozens of dead Clary’s, because Jace has been trapped in his own mind, killing her over and over again, just like he did in his nightmares. He’s looking around at all the bodies like “what in the fuck did I just walk into”, then he hears someone crying, and looks up. 

IT’S JACE!

The real Jace, and he confirms what I’ve known all along. He’s a prisoner in his own mind, and Lilith has been fucking with him since day one.

Alec is treading carefully (which is a good move, since Jace is visibly upset and still holding a knife), and this goddamn scene was perfect. 

The way his voice gets all soft when he’s convincing Jace that he’s real, and he knows Jace won’t kill him. The way he wrapped his arms around Jace. 

“I’ve got you.” 

THAT’S GREAT BUT, WHO HAS ME? WHO’S GOING TO HOLD ME WHILE I CRY OVER MY KEYBOARD, ALEC? W H O?

They hold each other for a bit, and when they pull away, all the dead bodies are gone, and it’s clear that Alec’s presence is working. Izzy comes in with mini-Jace, who also vanishes, and my dumbass thinks “YES! The gang’s all here! We can go home now! It’s a wrap!”.

Narrator: You know damn well...

Fast forward.

As lovely as this little reunion has been, Alec hears Magnus calling out to him, and it’s time to get the fuck out of there. One teensy, weensy problem though. 

Jace doesn’t want to go, because he knows Lilith is coming for him.

This is where Alec gives us another example of exactly how his relationship with Jace works. 

Now, I’m a huge softie when it comes to my friends, so if my best friend was crying hysterically, then picked up a knife and placed it in my hands before asking me to kill them, I’d probably have a fit. However, Alec doesn’t do that. 

He holds himself together and tells Jace no, he isn’t going to kill him. Never. He’s coming with them, and that’s that on that. So, Jace hands the knife to Izzy, and I’m not going to lie, sis had me going for a hot second, but she dropped the knife and everyone exhaled. (By everyone, I mean me and Alec). 

Before they all join hands, Jace looks up at Alec and begs him not to let Lilith take me again, and he promises that he won’t. 

And of course, my emotional ass gets excited once more, thinking “alright, no bullshit, they’re going home this time”, but when the magical glow fades away, who do we fucking see? 

LILITH’S PUNK ASS. 

The SH writers @ me:

She comes in, overdramatic as usual, and ends up leaving with Jace. Seconds later, Alec wakes up to see that he’s gone, and he’s pissed.

They were so fucking close. No, scratch that, they weren’t close at all. They had him. They had him in the literal palms of their hands, and it took all of five seconds to lose him again. 

Fast forward (a little bit). 

Alec starts processing what just happened, and I hate seeing how upset he is. Jace begged the both of them to kill him, and right after Alec promised he wouldn’t let Lilith take him away again, she shows up and does just that. It’s already taking a toll on him, and even though Magnus says he did all he could, it’s not enough in Alec’s eyes, because Jace is still gone. 

It doesn’t matter how close he came to getting Jace back. In Alec’s eyes, he failed, and he’s going to be upset with himself until he succeeds, because that’s how he is. He knows it, Magnus knows it, and Izzy knows it. 

This episode messed with my head because it just goes to show that no matter how much you love someone, no matter how hard you’re willing to fight, they can still slip through your fingers and leave you right back where you started. 

I know there’s been a huge debate about the parabatai bond, and the way it only comes to light when it’s convenient for the plot, or how it’s “bullshit”, etc, but honestly? Fuck all that. If there was ever an episode involving the bond that comes close to Parabatai Lost, it’s 3x08. Alec could’ve fallen apart or gone crazy with all the shit that’s been going on, but he’s remained strong in order to keep going, because Alexander Gideon Lightwood does not crack in the face of adversity. 

He perseveres.