Adore Alec Lightwood.

I am not ready for this, but here we go. 

I totally forgot Clary was on death row at one point. Damn.

Oh, this recap is hurting my goddamn feelings. 

Simon and Jace on the roof ):

AAAAAAAAAAAAAH ALEC IS UP AND RUNNING. 

WAIT. PAUSE. TIME OUT. HOLD ON. FLAG ON THE PLAY. How much time has passed? Last time I saw Alec, he had a whole arrow in his chest. I know they didn’t just say “fuck it!” and rip it out. Pressing play. 

A decoy? What was that thing?

Why is Jace’s voice so deep? 

Why isn’t he picking up his blades?

JACE WHAT THE FUCK

Ohhh. Oh. Oh man. 

I missed this theme song! THIS IIIIIIIISSS THE HUUUUUUUUUUNT.

Oh my God, Simon with the flashbacks. 

OH MY GOD? He can’t even hurt himself. Fuck, that’s rough. 

Magnus? I’m going to CRY. STOP. 

Jace, don’t you open that door. 

Clary drew him while he was sleeping. Someone get me a drink and some tissues. 

Why does this remind me of that part in Breaking Dawn right before Bella woke up as a vampire? Maybe it’s the lighting. 

Who the hell is that????

BITCH I FORGOT ABOUT JONATHAN LOL. He’s kinda hot.

He’s offering her breakfast like he wasn’t trying to kill her whole crew a few days ago. The nerve. 

Siberia? For what?!

This is so weird. I keep thinking about when he was in Sebastian’s body and he kissed her. Now he wants to be brotherly. Boy bye. 

Clary, it’s cold outside ma’am. 

SHIT Alec is fine. I missed the neck rune. Fuck. Fuck. 

His smile? I’m dead. I am dead. 

YASSSS, MAIA IS BACK!

This is so fucked. I get why she left, but the timing was so shitty. It’s not fair for either of them. 

Simon ):

I am in awe. My man looks incredible. 

Jace literally needs therapy, holy shit. Why is he always by himself? 

“What are you doing?” Oh you know, just redecorating. 

Pauuuuuse. He went through a whole possession, killed innocent people, killed Imogen, damn near killed Clary like three times, begged for them to kill him, stabbed his parabatai, and he still remembers everything. Somebody get him to a psychiatrist ASAP. Pressing play. 

No, Izzy, you really don’t. 

Magnus watching them in the doorway is so precious. I love them. 

Madzie was like “look at the flick of the wrist” and threw a moon lmaooo. She’s too cute. 

Alec doesn’t give one shit about that movie. 

Nana? Excuse me? 

OH GIRL. GET THE FUCK. 

How’d she get in? I thought that hoe was dead? I’m lost. 

You mean to tell me Clary can create runes no one has ever seen, but she can’t activate one to stay warm? Okie-dokie. 

Ah, I see. No magic = no wards. 

WAIT A MINUTE, ARE YOU SEEING WHAT I’M SEEING? ALEC IS ROCKING THE SEASON ONE HAIR. SOUND THE ALARM. THE HAIR/MAKEUP DEPARTMENT HEARD MY CRIES. 

This whole scene is very season one to be honest. 

Oooh, that was an interesting look. 

Alec is such a realist. Jace needs it. 

Jace you know damn well Alec couldn’t kill you. Even after he decided he was going to, he physically couldn’t make himself do it. Lower your voice. 

Both of them have a bit of a death wish if we’re being honest. 

That boss to big brother transition was lovely. 

Damn Izzy, rude much? She’s been in your face for two seconds, chill out. 

GIRL. That was uncalled for. 

Jonathan can’t warm her up either? Well damn. 

Can Iris quit popping up? I almost dropped my fucking cheetos. 

WHAT THE- *sigh*. 

Clary looks mad as hell. I’m hollering. 

STOP. PAUSE. “We’re not that different, you and me.” Guys, I hate that line. Let me turn my caps lock on so you can hear me. I FUCKING HATE THAT LINE. I cringe whenever I read or hear it. It’s overused and...ugh. This whole try-to-make-the-villain-relatable trope needs to die. Every time a character says some shit like that, it’s always a situation where they’re the exact opposite of the person they’re trying to relate/compare themselves to. My blood is officially boiling and my skin is definitely crawling. Next. 

Having shitty parents doesn’t mean you get a pass to try and kill people, Jonathan. 

What is Luke doing in a hotel? I’m lost again. 

Who is Ollie? What?

Luke is such a cop. Look at that wall. 

Oh my God, this dialogue. They’re going the this-dude-sounds-crazy-but-he’s-absolutely-right route. Yawn.

I want Iris dead. 

WELL DAMN. 

My head is spinning. When did Rafael get to Detroit? 

Why is Heidi still alive? Loose ends, tsk tsk. 

Pause. When I hear “oldest vampire in the world”, I think of Klaus Mikaelson. Now I’m crying again. 

“ArE tHe LeGeNdS tRuE” WE HEARD TEN DIFFERENT CHARACTERS SAY THEY WERE TRUE, JUST TELL US WHO THE VAMPIRE IS SO WE CAN GO HOME, SHIT. 

Magnus got that 264 gigabyte memory. 

He knows it’s a trick though, right? Right?

I’m willing to bet money that’s not Madzie. 

I KNEW IT. I FUCKING KNEW IT. 

I forgot she could throw the whip!

Gia ain’t shit. 

Alec and Magnus stay circling each other like cats. 

LMAOOO HIS FACE. 

Can Simon and Maia kiss and make up already? My chest hurts. 

Jonathan was gone all night and came back with a few twigs for firewood? BOY IF YOU DON’T GET YOUR ASS OUT THERE AND GRAB SOME LOGS. 

CLARY ARE YOU SERIOUS? DID YOU FORGET ABOUT THE MARK LILITH GAVE YOU? You literally held a knife to your own throat and threatened to kill yourself in order to kill Jonathan. Remember!?

Girl, I guess. 

Hey there demons, remember me? 

I HAVE RISEN. 

I’m back and stormier than ever. 

First of all, I’d like to start by apologizing for being from you guys for so long. I’ve been caught up in the whirlwind of a new job, a different educational path, and a new relationship. In addition to all of that, I’m dealing with some serious family/mental health issues. I wanted to hop on here and get right back in the swing of things, but unfortunately, Tumblr had to be put on a back burner, along with 99% of the other things I enjoy. Long story short, I didn’t feel comfortable coming back until I got my shit together.

(News flash: it still isn’t together, but I’m working on it.) 

With all the shit I had going on, I completely forgot when the show was coming on again, and as you can imagine, I’ve got a lot of catching up to do! Luckily, I’ll be celebrating my return by spoiling the hell out of you guys. 

Since I’ll be binge watching for the rest of the week until I’m caught up, I’ll be binge reviewing as well. The live reviews are all queued up and ready to go, so by the time you finish reading this, the review for 3x11 should be hitting your dashboard. Character analysis’ will take a bit longer (as usual), but don’t fret. They’re coming. 

Before we return to our regularly scheduled programming, I’d like to say a few things.

I read your messages. I wish I could’ve read and responded to all of them, but you guys killed my inbox. The first couple times I tried opening the app, my phone froze and almost overheated. I had to get a friend to help me sort it out. That being said, we’re starting from ground zero. At this moment, my inbox and asks are completely empty. I promise I’ll get better at responding in a timely manner. 

We’re starting with a clean slate. I’ve been through a lot guys. I’m fucking tired. For the sake of your sanity as well as mine, let’s keep things friendly. I’m totally down for in-depth discussions and compelling arguments, but if we can’t be nice to one another and enjoy things, I will gladly shut this shit down for good and continue sipping champagne on the beach. Be loud, be passionate, be engaging, but if you can’t be an adult, we’re going to have major problems. 

The playlists are back! (You know, the ones I made for Alec, Magnus, and Malec.) I don’t even remember taking them down, but they’re back now. Song suggestions are welcome. I may be bringing lyric posts back as well, but I haven’t decided yet. 

Thank you. The fact that I dropped off the face of the earth and came back to a little over 8,000 followers is insane. You guys are amazing. 

Oh yeah, almost forgot. 

I LOVE YOU.

Hey there demons, its’s me again. 

I know, I know. I leave a lot, but it’s not something I have any control over. 

The army is great, but it can be inconvenient at times! 

See, I’m not exactly sure how long I’ll be gone this time. Could be a week, could be a month an a half. I don’t know yet. As soon as I get that information, I promise I’ll let you guys know. 

In the meantime, I hope you all have the best of days, stay hydrated and moisturized, and love yourselves more with each passing moment. I’ve been a bit inactive as of late, but I promise I’ll try and come around more. 

I recently hit 1.8k and I honestly can’t thank you guys enough for sticking around. 

I love you.