#sexbitsofstarglow

i think about what it means to crave someone not out of hunger...but for the peace they bring to hold their heartbeat in your hands not because you fear losing it but because it’s the first sound that’s ever felt like

home

I miss you.

I wonder sometimes why I'm still here,

no more bending no more swallowing pride like a bitter pill that sits in my throat a stone i can’t cough up and why should i let it go why should i hold their shit in my hands and pretend it’s flowers

i won’t forgive anymore not the lovers who left not the friends who lied not the strangers who walked by and didn’t look twice at the bleeding at the scars i carved...myself

they say it’s for your own good to forgive and forget like it’s an answer like it won’t cut you again the second you turn your back but i know better now i’ve tasted the copper in my mouth the flavor of holding on and it’s goddamn real more real than their empty fucking words

we scribble dreams into journals in handwriting too neat to last plans sprawling like constellations maps to the versions of ourselves we crave

but january is a thief dressed in grey mornings and dark afternoons its hands pulling threads from our resolve until the tapestry unravels

by the sixth…the magic fades resolutions wilt like flowers left in the cold hope sits heavy in our chests like a bird too tired to take flight

we stare at our reflection wondering if change was ever real or just a story we told to make the darkness seem less endless