Okay, so the other day I was working a lunch shift. I’m the only one working lunch because we don’t get much business for lunch, usually. At about 11:25 AM I had four tables and one to greet when this couple sat down, they were old. I asked them if they wanted anything to drink and immediately noted that they were difficult because it took about three minutes for the man to ask me for a sweet tea with lemon. I greet the other table and then go back to their table. We have Doner Kebabs on our menu, and the lady asks about them. “At least they’re not Donner Kebabs,” she says, “do you know anything about the tragedy of Donner?” she asks me. The thing is, I vaguely remember this from history class. I also remember this woman asking me the exact same thing months ago and I blanked out. I knew she was going to call me out and give me more crap if I didn’t know, so I said, “no,” hoping to leave or that she’d make it quick. She begins her story with “…in the 1800’s,” Meanwhile, in the corner of my eyes, I see three two-tops get sat. She keeps explaining geography, historical context, the terrain of the Sierra Nevada mountains. I could not care less lady, just let me do my job please. I watch another two-top get sat while she goes on this seven-minute-long speech. When she was done talking, I made no comment on her story, I didn’t have time. I finally took her order and scurried away. I was behind for the rest of the shift and couldn’t give anyone good service just because this woman wanted to give a history lesson to a server. I’m so tired, they left me five dollars for that.
I’m not sure if she’s just lonely (not your problem) or if she thinks you’re uneducated and need a history lesson (her problem) but either way, I want to put her on a wagon and sent her far away for you. Okay, I’ll have a song for you by next week and I hope she doesn’t eat you first.
