Part 4 of a 5 part series about the ways harmful practices can be made to sound appealing and how to spot the differences between helpful and harmful approaches.
Sensory sensitivities are a huge part of being autistic (and sometimes ADHD, too). They can range from kind of annoying but manageable to debilitating and meltdown-inducing. They can fluctuate from day to day and situation to situation. They can seem to pop up one day out of nowhere and disappear just as quickly.
Sensory differences are dynamic, which can make them unpredictable and disruptive. Not many people want to live that way, so working on sensory desensitization with someone who has a lot of sensitivities sounds like a thing that could help. Fewer meltdowns and able to do more things? Yes please!
But as you might have guessed, thereâs a giant problem with that: reducing sensitivity isnât really a thing you can do TO someone. At least, not without inducing a trauma response or two. You can certainly get someone to learn to ignore their own body signals or pretend to be fine when theyâre not, but thatâs not a sensory thing. Thatâs a dissociation thing.
âSensory desensitizationâ is usually code for exposure therapy. Exposure therapy has its uses, but addressing legitimate sensory issues isnât one of them. And it should only be done WITH someone who can fully consent and actively participate. Coercing and/or forcing someone to interact with distressing sensory input until they stop reacting is not that.
âSensory desensitizationâ also operates under the assumption that people just get used to, or habituate to, the noises and sensations around them, even ones that bother them. But studies have shown that autistic people actually donât habituate to sensory stimuli the way non-autistic people do. It may take way longer to happen, or it may never happen at all.
You know what can and does happen? Sensory sensitivities can just kindaâŚchange. All on their own. We grow up, our hormones change, our stress levels change, our environments change, and our sensory profiles are affected by all of those things (and more!). Sensitivities can just disappear, naturally, without any intervention. And thatâs about the only thing Iâd ever refer to as real sensory desensitization.
But sensory sensitivities can go any which way. Maybe new ones rear their ugly heads. Or maybe something bothers us at a level 7 one day and 2 the next, then goes all the way up to 11 next week. And then there are the ones that just stay pretty much the same, all the time, forever.
I could not handle pants for a long time as a kid, but then somewhere along the way, I could. I really couldnât tell you when it happened. There are some foods that used to make me gag that no longer do, and there are some that I still just cannot handle. I have never been okay with things that stick to my hands, and that really hasn't changed since as far back as I can remember.Â
You know what all these sensory sensitivities have in common? Someone made me âtolerateâ them at some point, often repeatedly. And none of them changed (or didnât) because of repeated exposure, but because of my natural development. All I got from forced exposure was this lousy tendency to disconnect from myself.
Sensory desensitization is just not a thing we should be trying to do to people. Sensory *integration* is a real thing that can help people, but that is a whole different animal that requires more than just exposing people to stuff that bothers them. Youâll need an OT (Occupational Therapist) with the specialized training for that. Just make sure theyâre not sneaking behaviorism tactics or exposure therapy in there either (yep, the words âsensory integrationâ can be used to misrepresent what theyâre doing, too).
It is a far better thing to help someone learn about their own sensory profile and how to manage their sensory needs than to make them ignore their own body signals. Alexithymia is not #goals.
