#sen?

uzuun zaman önce bir yerde ‘seni tanıyan son insan da ölünce bu dünyada hiç yaşamamış olursun’ gibisinden bir söz okumuştum. ürpermiştim, gerçekten de adımı bilen son insan da ölünce sanki hiç burada nefes almamış gibi olacağım. hiç şu köşede ağlamamış gibi, hiç kendimi sevdirmeye çalışmamış, hiç acıkmamış hiç özlememiş gibi. çok garip. garip ve gerçek. aslında burası bana ait değil. aslında ne yatağım ne tokam ne de kitaplarım benim değil. sahiplenip bende kalması için direndiğim her şey aslında hiç benim olmamış olmayabilir mi?

?::: The Darkness devours all who tread in it. How was this not apparent? It is the manifestation of chaos. Like all power, it corrupts. Fall too deeply into the traps laid by the mind, and it twists you. It takes extreme willpower and constant vigilance to walk the line, and even the strongest of minds still have moments of weakness. And in all honesty, neither of you is exceptionally stable. It remains to be seen what happens next. Do as you will, reach for it if you like. The Darkness is not something to be snatched at like wisps of straw. Like smoke, it will continue to elude you, until you have built a worthy enough fire for it. Your options are running slim. But show me, if you would... can that which has been scarred by the Darkness ever truly be whole again? Show me the answer, if you can!

-Wake up What -Wake up I'm awake already you don't need to shout -This is important No kidding it's late and I wouldn't stand for anything less what is it -Do you know who I am? I'm not sure -No you're not. Neither am I. Not again I don't have time for this -Do you realize how disrespectful that is? It's your head and we are all you and your guests, that's wrong and you know it Fine. So. WhT do you feel? -Alive That's good. -I identify as Sen. You're not Sen. -I identify as what she ought to be. Wasn't that supposed to be Macha? -How come you humans get to go through remaking yourselves but we can't? Am I doomed to fission off forever like a sad rosebush? Whoa simile! Sad rosebush lol. No. I think that's reasonable. Thing is, though, I've never seen you do anything else. -"You." Or anyone. And I'm worried that the... Shed skin? Will take on a life of its own. Or worse, cease to be. -Then let it. Better than growing inside a pot too small and choking one's of roots. Evolve to survive. I don't think Y will take kindly to that sort of thing though? -He should have known what he was getting into when he decided to care about me. Us. Whatever. It's not like there are many of us around to choose from anyway. He'll deal. Hey. Don't you think you have some form of obligation- -Obligation was what got me like this to begin with. Obviously survival trumps pandering to the whims of emotional complications. Oh jeez you two do need to sort things out. -No shit. And if he pines away over the shed skin mourning you instead of accepting you? -You know he wouldn't. So. -So now I flutter my nonexistent wings and let my nonexistent carapace harden in the nonexistent breeze. And after that? -Guess we'll find out.