#selectionocnet

What hurt most was Haiden. I knew I wasn’t going to be the One afterwards, but that hurt. For a matter of time, I had dreamed of a lavish future: wonderful husband, lovely children, a country to be a fair Queen for. But no, within a simple perhaps 5 minutes, all of that had vanished into the very back part of my mind for shattered hopes and dreams.

I found comfort on the roof, where none of the public and Selected could see my shattered state, see the wreck of a person that I, Niara Aldaine, truly could become. Over a stupid, simple heartbreak. But I was justified in it.

For years and years, I had been left void of something pure and sweet. My parents shared no love, nor did they offer any to the family. It was all cold bitterness at home. Except the palace. For once in my life, I had felt summertime. I had felt warm love, happiness bubbling from every corner of the palace. How many times had I looked up during breakfast at the royal family laughing together at something stupid and wished that could be mine?

I sat on the edge of the roof once more, perhaps my last time before I would be escorted out of the palace and have cameras shoved in my face. Microphones and cameras all asking what it was like to be thrown out of the palace, what it was like to be tossed out of the handful of girls Haiden had brought into the palace. Was it shameful, to be treated as though we were a group of animals, that we could be bought by the palace and be plucked and picked to see who would be future Queen?  I utterly resented him for that.

What would it be like, to just make one wrong move and slip off the edge of the roof? To have a guard find a broken piece of a girl collapsed on the ground, to have a short funeral for people to mourn and cry and throw flowers before moving on with their lives? Because, as always, life goes on. And no one will care, given the time.

“No, you don’t,” a thin pale hand reaches out and grabs my wrist, “What do you think you’re doing?” “I’m not committing suicide over some stupid boy, Felix, if that’s what you’re thinking,” I snarl, already knowing what he’s assuming. “Then what are you doing?” he asks coolly, his eyebrows raised as he lets go of my wrist. “Thinking about circumstances.” “Conversations and croissants again?” Felix smiles thinly. That smile. That stupid damn smile.

“What?” he asks, noticing my expression. “Nothing,” I dismiss him, turning away. “Human emotions are never nothing and they should never feel as though they are nothing,” he states. And suddenly, I’m burying my face in his shoulder because, he knows. Someone finally understands. And I can’t express what a relief it is, to finally have someone who isn’t a girl fighting daggers and knives with me for a prince’s heart or someone who isn’t a prince balancing 34 other girls’ hearts on the line.

Felix taps my shoulder, notifying me of the soon-coming sunset and I sigh, leaning my head on his shoulder as he grips my hand tightly. And as the sun approaches the edge of the horizon, he tips his head and whispers something into my ear. A quiet deadly little secret. And of course, I accept.

It’s 10 minutes until dinner and I stand right before the entrance of the palace doors. Soon the girls will arrive to the dinner table, one last meal before the Eliminated leave and only 3 will remain. But I won’t be attending.

I wonder if any of the girls will even slightly care, or will their eyes simply skim over my empty seat for a minute and return back to the girls who are present? Naomi would notice, but she would understand my absence. The others wouldn’t.

I push the doors open quietly and walk down the extravagant marble steps, my bags with all my belongings behind me. Felix is already there, giving that same quirky, thin smile as he holds his hand out to me. The luggage is fit into the back of the car and I slip in next to Felix.

No, we’re not engaged, nor are we married. But we will be running. Running far, far away from the lovely palace full of dangerous secrets and dangerous people.

“Ready?” he asks, squeezing my hand gently. “Always,” I reply airily. I don’t look back the palace. But my mind is buzzing with revenge, secrets, anticipation.

“I can’t ask you to do that, Becca” He mumbled, staring down at the grass. She gave him a sad look.

“I want to do it.”

“I’m not about to let you sacrifice everything you love and all you know just for me. You have a life, a good life. Both a good caste and the right caste.”

“I could live as a Five no problem.”

“That would be the right caste, not the good one. As a Two you have both. I won’t take that away from you… It’s ridiculous! You shouldn’t have to be turned into a lower caste for marrying a lower caste! Your future shouldn’t be tied to the guy you marry. You should be your own person.”

She cupped his cheek and offered a sad smile. “I know, and I love you for knowing it… but I’m ok with leaving it behind.”

He leaned to kiss her forehead, “I’m not. You deserve the life you have, I don’t want to take it away.”

“But I want to marry you, Ri.”

He looked at her eyes, his own filled with longing. “I want to marry you too.”

“Then we’ll have to figure something out.” She whispered, caressing his cheek. “We’ll make a plan.”

Always so stubborn, he thought with a sigh, but for once he wanted to be stubborn with her. “I guess we will.”

"Do you trust the plan?" She asked.

He hesitated because he didn't... Just like he didn't trust much else, but he trusted her, and if she believed in the plan, he would believe in it too.

“I’m going with Marissa on a trip to Europe.”

That had been the cover-up

In reality, Marissa paid for her own things and what had been paid for her by Becca’s family was given to Ri. In the little villa in Tuscany in which they got married Illéan law didn’t apply, castes meant nothing. Becca would stay a Two the same way Ri would stay a Five, and it didn’t matter if they weren’t residents of Italy. Becca had done research for long hours, used as much contacts as she could muster, all to figure out the information she needed.

There they could get married officially, by law, and nothing would change regarding their castes. It could be kind of stupid to the eyes of someone else. They couldn’t really tell people they were married, they still had to meet in secret, and even if her caste didn’t change by marrying him, her father would forever resent her if he found out... yet it was was important to them. They were married. After years of secretly dating they were finally married.

“You can still back down, you know?” He smirked at her, admiring her simple but beautiful white gown.

She rolled her eyes and looked back down at the paper on the desk, writing her signature in black ink. “Do you trust the plan?”

He stared down at the paper with both their signatures and pulled her into a kiss. She laughed mid-kiss and pulled him closer. That laugh. He hoped he would make her laugh like that all his life.

“I do.”

                                           ↬  20 years later  ↫

Jyn threw a pebble at Jason’s window and headed for her bathroom. Cassian, immediately ran behind her from his own little bed, his furry neck covered by an unnecessary scarf Jyn loved to see him wear.

Morning routine was usually the same. Throw a pebble, let Cassian climb on her shoulder, personal hygiene, throw another pebble if Jason doesn’t wake up, yell good morning at dad, go down for lunch after getting dressed. Everything after that could vary, but Jyn liked her morning routine. She liked that the beginning of her day was just established. That morning would be different however.

She threw the second pebble at Jason’s window and still no one replied. Odd. She gave Cassian a look as he stood curiously on her shoulder, sniffing the air. “Maybe he did a night shift?”

She did that a lot. Talk to the ferret. She didn’t really worry about how weird it was, she just liked letting her thoughts into the air. To her talking to the ferret was somehow better than talking to nothing or herself.

Cassian placed his front paws on her head and kept sniffing, Jyn frowned. She was about to take another pebble from her jar to throw at her neighbor’s window when her door slammed open. “TIME FOR AN INTERVENTION!” Jason barged into the room followed by Johnny and Clem. Jyn wasn’t sure if she should be surprised or not.

Jason was her childhood friend, the fellow Five she’d met trying to learn how to play soccer with her dad. The white-black ball had hit him right in the face and they had been friends ever since. Johnny was a Four, he’d befriended Jyn initially, much to Jason’s dismay: How dare he steal his best friend? But eventually they all became friends and turned into the deadly Js, always causing trouble wherever they’d go according to the adults, but no one could deny they loved having the little kids around back in the days.

Clem was the newest of the group, with only a year of knowing them all. She was a Three with ‘a future ahead of her’ according to her parents. They didn’t precisely approve of her hanging out with Jyn or the other guys, but they made it work. Sometimes they even helped her sneak out to join them.

“I don’t need an intervention...” Jyn grumbled as her friends invaded her room.

“Yes you do.” Jason crossed his arms over his chest, taking the same stance as hers, both glaring at each other. Meanwhile, Clem plopped on the bed and Johnny turned around the desk’s chair to join the circle that would soon be formed.

“How did you get in here?”

“Mr. Ri let us in.” Johnny replied, sitting with the backrest of the chair turned in front of him.

Of course dad let them in. Revenge for not cleaning the dishes last night. “Why do I need an intervention?”

“Because I know you’re as stubborn as it gets. I wanted to save time. This way if you decline my suggestion I have Johnny and Clem to back me up.”

“And your suggestion is...”

“You should apply for the Selection.”

Jyn blinked and burst out laughing. Jason narrowed his eyes at her. “It’s not a joke!”

“It’s still very funny.”

“I told you the intervention would be needed!”

“You’re an idiot.” She smirked and he scowled.

“I have legit reasons too-”

She scratched Cassian’s neck with an eye roll. “I already submitted my application.”

Jason stopped mid sentence and frowned, sparing Johnny a glance to see if he’d heard her right. His friend shrugged back and he looked back at Jyn “You applied?”

“Yep.”

“But- I thought- You never-”

“I talked with dad. If I do this and actually get Selected I get to become a Three— which makes becoming a Two a lot easier— I get to go to Angeles, I meet the royal family, I see the palace, I meet people from all over the country and I possibly meet a new guy that could or could not be a good date. Why wouldn’t I apply?”

Jason stared at her dumbfounded. Jyn could only smirk while Clem laughed, “Can’t argue with that logic.” 

“I thought you’d be harder to convince.”

“Even if we take everything else out of the list I get to be a Three, Jason. That would mean two steps closer to being a recognized singer and being able to give myself a nice life. Help dad out. Being one step away is a lot better than being three steps away.”

“That was reason number 2 in our list.” He grumbled, dissatisfied with not being able to do one of their famous interventions.

“What was number one?”

This time Johnny answered with a grin. “The food.”

“So how are you feeling now that it’s a step away from the Elite?” she had asked. “A bit nervous, I suppose, I'd be surprised if anyone's not,” I laughed, “It's just another step closer to finding out the next true Queen of Illéa.”

“I have complete faith in him as well, he isn't one to regret what he's done,” I explained, ”I think all the countries' rulers and leaders are waiting to see the new Queen of Illéa. It'd change a lot of things, no matter who takes the position.”

She nodded. “New Asia is looking forward to continue working side by side with this country for many years toward, so we are excited to meet the future queen. I'm glad you mentioned the changes that will we have in consequence of all this. May I ask which changes would you make in case you win the competition?”

I had known the subject would come up and I hadn’t mentally prepared an answer beforehand although I knew what I would want to change if I had a position of power. I had often contemplated this when I was younger, playing pretend with my sisters that I could change everything.

“As Queen,” I had started out, “I'd reaffirm the ties Illéa has to other countries in order to strengthen allies and also create new bonds by perhaps increasing trade of resources and more diplomats. Also, I'd try to rewrite the caste system because of the large amount of discrimination and unfairness people face due to a status they were born into. I would also try my best to have the people have more of a say in the monarchy's decision, seeing as sometimes how decisions made by the monarchy either doesn't agree with the people or isn't benefiting them very much. Oh, and also opening new opportunities to those who need jobs or ones who can benefit our economy. And of course, adding more women into government positions. We need more women in administrative positions and although we do have some, I think we should increase that number. Women are just as capable as men to handle these positions and the only reason they aren't receiving these positions are lack of opportunities simply because of their gender.”

E-Jun raised her eyebrows, a small smile on her face. She was so elegantly composed but I could tell she would speak her own opinions if she felt the need. It was no wonder she received the job of ambassador. She was perfect for it. 

“What do you like the most of being born here? Do you wish you were born anywhere else?”

I thought this over in my head slowly before shaking my head. 

“I don't think I would want to be born anywhere else. I know Illéa has its flaws but I love Illéa. Hopefully the future Queen will make it an even better Illéa. And I'd love to travel to other countries though! My favorite part would just be the people itself. Illéa is full of so much hope and possibility, I don't think I could have that bond to any other place.”

We then moved the topic to hobbies of ours and traveling to other countries. E-Jun wistfully described the beautiful scenery and delicious food in New Asia.

“Of course there are amazing benefits but also the workload and stress are parts of your position, so you have to be able to handle it,” I brought up a point.

“Talking about jobs, why do you think you deserve to be the future queen? What qualities do you think you have that will serve you well for the job?” she inquired curiously. And I could tell by looking at her that she truly wanted to know. Haiden’s choice would change not only Illéa but all the other countries as well.

“Well of course I think we all view ourselves differently than others see us, so I hope I’m not being vain. But I believe that I have the patience and determination to do my best for all of the country so although I wouldn’t be the perfect Queen, I think I could be a likely candidate for deserving this position. I also think I have the mix of a logical and creative mind, seeing as I like inventing but also art, thus I will be able to both reason and debate while having compassion for my country. And I think I would also be able to stand for my opinion, even if it went against what others thought. The hard part is sometimes being a good person but also being a good Queen, and I hope I can be that as well as a wife and best friend,” I sighed.

“I agree with you in that too, sometimes is kind of hard to find the balance between using the head and the heart when it comes to ruling a country, you certainly need both... and when it comes to love relationships too,” she winked at me. 

E-Jun described how some families had arranged marriages but her parents gave her the freedom to choose. According to her, all of them ended in the man becoming upset over how her job seemed more important than them although I knew that her job was simply time-consuming and needed focus. She laughed and said, “I wonder if it was better to let my parents choose for me.”

“Well then that's good you didn't choose those men,” I spoke up, “The one for you would understand and I don't think it would have been better for your parents to choose, I think the one for you will come along with time,” which had earned a grateful smile from her.

Later I was strolling down the halls of the palace, clutching my heels in my hand. I saw E-Jun hurrying down the hall towards me, relief on her face.

“Oh wait, I almost forgot again! I brought you a little detail, hope you like it!” she extended a case towards me. I opened it to see a gorgeous flower hair pin. “Oh my goodness,” I squealed, “thank you so much, I love it! It’s absolutely gorgeous.”

I held it to my chest and thanked her endlessly. I don’t think she quite knew how much it meant to me that I had received a gift. 

a couple hours later

I collapsed on the neatly made bed with a pounding head and aching feet. My mind was throbbing with the conversations I had with almost all the foreign diplomats. 

I could feel a migraine coming on and I suddenly felt like I couldn’t breathe. 

This was really it. We were already half way from the original pool of 30 and soon Haiden would be choosing his life-long partner, the future Queen. One of us, out of the 15 left, would be crowned. 

This was my life now: part of the pool that would be chosen from for the next Queen. I could face that later but for now, I didn’t want to think about the Selection.

So I went down to the kitchen and requested for a bottle of alcohol and 2 glasses before heading back upstairs. I knocked on the door and it opened, revealing surprise written across Haiden’s face.

“Lady Niara.”

“Lady Niara, you’re fine,” my head maid Lily said firmly for the third time. “I know,” I sighed, “it’s not that I’m worried he won’t like me, well maybe that too, but it’s that he won’t like the date.” Celestia and Aurora hurried around the room, but there wasn’t much to clean up. I was impeccably clean, though I knew I did tend to annoy some people with it.

“He will,” Lily answered, “and if even he doesn’t, he kind of has to anyways.” I gasped and she laughed. There was a knock on the door. I put my shoulders down and head up as he appeared in my doorway. Lily gave me one last smile as I was whisked out of my room. Well, here goes.

approximately 1 and a half hours later

Without fail, all 3 of my maids were there in my room after my date, eagerly awaiting the details. Prince Haiden looked simply amused as we approached my room, both of us laughing with flushed embarrassed faces (actually, it was only me with a red face). We had completely finished the escape room within 3 minutes to spare when we tried to open the door and it was locked. The staff had completely forgotten that we were locked in and didn’t let us out until a passing-by maid heard our pounding on the doors.

As soon as the prince left, they all ushered me into the room and sat around me. “So?” Lily asked, “how’d it go?” Aurora, the sweetheart, brought in a cup of chamomile tea for me to soothe me and get me ready for the night. Celestia was quiet but I saw her listening as well, a small smile on her face.

“Interesting,” I said, laughing at the expressions on their faces. There wasn’t so much as a knock on the door as Britain Mason, whom I had befriended shortly after we all arrived at the palace, whooshed in and settled in on the bed like we were old friends. “How’d it go?” she beamed, smoothing out the wrinkles in her practically perfect dress.

“Well, for starters, I planned an escape room. I told the staff, who were so kind and set it all up earlier in the day. Since I like inventing and architecture, I gave them a blueprint so it’d be easier to finish the process,” I smiled as I thought back to the night I was up, with cups and cups of tea and coffee littering my desk, exhausted while sketching the blueprint. Lily laughed too, remembering how I kept going down to the kitchens, secretly trying to snitch some food from Baguette’s impeccable kitchen. She instead just brought me an entire tray of sugary foods to keep me awake. Britain looked amused as she twisted a ring around her finger. Her date had went well according to her; they had went ice skating, which sounded wonderful.

“What did he say?” Britain inquired, snapping me out of my trance.

I thought back to little snippets of our conversation. It wasn’t what I’d call light or flirtatiously fun, but I had gained so much out of a simple conversation with our future sovereign. A lifetime with him certainly would never be boring. Speaking from the heart as a friend for the time being that I had known him, I truly cared that he found someone opinionated, someone passionate and could forever be his lover, wife, and best friend. And when he did, I wanted to meet her.

“Even if I don't find someone who I'm in love with, I can find someone I just love.” “That's a brave thing to do. You've got more potential than I thought, Haiden Schreave.”

“I don't believe that 'you don't know what you’re looking for' because you don't seem like that type of person.” “You caught me there. I imagine me with someone strong, someone with opinions, someone who knows how to say no, someone I can trust. Hopefully someone I'm friendly enough with that I can confide in them.”

It felt untrue, almost wrong, to repeat those words, Haiden’s words, aloud. It felt like a secret, something that he had confided in me, but then again, it was likely that he would’ve spoke the exact same words to the rest of the Selected. At this point, I was unsure in the Selection. I didn’t really know Haiden, where I stood and where the others stood. I was on unstable ground, never knowing whether the ground underneath me would crumble and break and I would be eliminated. But until then, I supposed I would have to trust Haiden.