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The early days
Tourists are heading to Central Park to take a ride in the parks famous horse-drawn carriages before its too late. I want to enjoy them before they go away forever, said Andrea Varela, 32, of Mexico, who said she always looks forward to a carriage ride when she visits the city. Mayor-elect Bill de Blasio plans to ban the horse-drawn carriages, and has said hell start working to phase them out soon after taking office.
The inevitable fallout from The Beefarino Incident.

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I need to write a paper about satire for English and this is my first paragraph. I deserve an A+ for the references.
Imagine sitting on your couch one night, flipping through the channels on your television. “He’s a low talker!”, you hear Jerry Seinfeld scream on a Seinfeld rerun. Change the channel to NBC. “Ha. Ha ha ha ha”, laughs Jimmy Fallon’s robotic Mitt Romney impression on Late Night. Up one more station to FOX, and you witness a musical rendition of a patient finding out that he “has AIDS! Not HIV but full blown AIDS!” You pause for a moment, wondering if you’re allowed to laugh at such lubricious black humor. After consideration you decide, it’s just satire, I’m allowed.
"Newman knows a guy in the Hong Kong office"