#security toy

my name is Tushax (wait, no, Tushakes, sorry. pronounced Two-Shakes), and im a security toy! i’m one of @ever-floral’s personas, and literally their most prized possession. my pronouns are she/her, and i hope you enjoy my blog! also, i look a lot like Luonnotar from Genshin Impact

About 5 years ago now, I had lost my security toy in a move from Virginia back home to Ohio. I had not been okay about it since. I mean, I never threw an external fit about it; but internally, that little girl trapped inside my soul, would weep for her.

After about 3 years, and life getting more busy and chaotic, I gave up searching for her and just accepted that childish void in my heart. I kept going, but there was this child-like ache deep down within me.

About a month ago, I aimlessly was window shopping online (dangerous, I know) and a similar, but not quite the same, stuffed animal crossed my view. I chuckled and decided to just search like i had done plenty of times before turning up empty yanded every time. This time, I found her. The exact replica of her. I have never clicked an "Order Now" button so fast in my life.

When she arrived, I opened the packaging and just held her. Like I use to as a child, like it was almost instinctual; something in my muscle memory knew exactly where it left off. And I may have cried a little.

I know it won't be exactly the same as the original, but the fact that this familiar has been reintroduced into my life is mind-altering. I have another "safe space", one from my childhood all through my early 20's years, to run to for comfort. As well as, something that has always given me a place of calm and reflection.

To see her again, sitting on my side of the bed reminds me of the calmer & happier nights of my childhood. All the good times. I missed this. I'm so glad to have her back into my life.