Mar 27, 2022
'Secondhand dysphoria' should refer to the empathy felt when someone else gets misgendered not trans people with unconventional bodies making transmeds uncomfortable
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'Secondhand dysphoria' should refer to the empathy felt when someone else gets misgendered not trans people with unconventional bodies making transmeds uncomfortable
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canât believe we let transmeds get away with blaming others for their secondhand dysphoria and then immediately calling US sensitive snowflakes. thatâs a you problem bud.
for real though, âsecondhand dysphoriaâ is not a thing that should be taken seriously or affect reality in any shape or form. itâs called internalized transphobia and thatâs something that YOU need to work on unlearning for yourself. if the mere act of looking at a trans person who doesnât âpassâ makes you feel dysphoric, youâre projecting your own issues onto others and passing judgement. and if youâre justifying that feeling, rather than working to dismantle those biases, what youâre saying is that other trans people should âpassâ for the sake of your comfort.
and what do we say when homophobes, ableists, transphobes, racists, etc. want to stop people existing because it makes them âuncomfyâ to see us? we say, rightfully, FUCK your comfort. that applies to us, too. never forget that.
(note that this is not about the experience of seeing someone experiencing dysphoria and relating to that struggle, or feeling deeply for themďżź, or anything like that. itâs about expecting other trans people to conform to the limits of your own dysphoria.)