Earl Woods, Tiger Woods' beloved dad, said repeatedly that the parent-child relationship is one built on respect. Most parents readily agree with that sentiment thinking primarily how kids need to respect their parents.  But Mr. Woods didn't mean it that way at all. He believed that it is our job as parents to earn the respect of our kids by how well we recognize them as individuals, as separate persons in their own right.  Individuals with not only a mind of their own, but a life of their own. Given the success of his son, as both an athlete and a man, I'd say Earl Woods was on to something.

"A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing."  ~ George Bernard Shaw

Making Mistakes

Many parents find themselves petrified by possibilities. They know that the stakes are high in parenting and that the things they do and the decisions they make will have strong ramifications. Understandably, they want to know exactly what to do in every possible situation so that they don't mess up. Even if that were possible, it would make for a very heavy tool bag and a lifeless relationship.  

Dear neighbors. Since when are”playing kids” equivalent to “screaming” - and me wondering if I should phone family services. When I used to play outside as a kid and I would start to think the amount of noise we produced was a legitimate indicator of the amount of fun we were having, my mom would strongly object against those assumptions. A firm “be quiet” would set us back on the right track.

Her approach to parenting seems to have grown out of date. When I’m working in my home office (at the front of the house) I sometimes do wonder if the neighbourhood children (playing in the back of their house) are doing ok. The amount of screaming might indicate, from a layman’s perspective, they are not. There’s a wonderful book written on Screamfree Parenting, which must be popular with some houses on my street since the parents have stopped screaming and moved that trait onto their offspring. It still leaves me wonder whether they are ok, but it seems the more fun they’re having the louder it gets.

I started reading ScreamFree Parenting a few days ago. I don't have time, so I'm only on chapter 3, but so far, I'm liking it. I always had a problem with handling situations in a crazy way, and I don't want to keep embarrassing myself. I've already had more than a few "crazy mom" moments here, and ever since I been paranoid at what everyone thinks of me. 

Yesterday, we were at the gym in the parent room. Long story short, my daughter kept fighting with another girl there. After many times of me and the girl's mom scolding them and telling them to play nicely, while the girl was climbing the squishy chair, my daughter moved the chair on purpose and the girl fell down and hit her head. 

I probably could have handled the situation better, but honestly, I was embarrassed by my daughter's actions, and I didn't know what else to do. I could feel the mom's eyes burning into me, and I knew if it was the other way around, I'd be pissed if another kid did that to my daughter. So, out of panic, I ended up raising my voice, in a small room I should add, and I began yelling at my daughter to say sorry and to leave the play area. In turn, my daughter started screaming and crying. It wasn't a pretty picture. I texted my husband, and he came and carried her out. It was horrifying. 

Anyways yesterday's episode is bothering me, and I can't stop thinking about it. I wish I could rewind time and handled the situation differently.