Yoshua doesn't laugh in the gospels. He is calm, he is upset, he weeps, but he doesn't laugh. God doesn't laugh. God is calm and serious and angry and sometimes sorrowful. Laughter is utilized, in the Newer Testament, in the context of mockery. Yoshua does not laugh but is laughed at. So anger is a godly emotion, but joy isn't? Laughter is the tool of fools to mock the divine and Their prophets? That's what that says to me.

When I read The Book of God: The Bible as a Novel by Walter Wangerin Jr. (which I have a whole review about), I didn't expect to care much for the Newer Testament section. I don't believe in a Savior. But the thing that made me like it? The thing that punched me in the gut with the reminder that Yoshua was a person? The fact that he laughs. He laughs when Simon shaves his beard. He laughs when he is welcomed into villages. He laughs as often as he weeps, or gets angry. He displays the whole spectrum of emotion.

Maybe this is a reach. But maybe this is a reason why Christianity has become so dull, emotionally. Why suffering is good and pleasure is bad. Of course we also have to take into account that Christianity rose from apocalypticism, of which a core tenant is pessimism. Maybe this is a reason or a symptom or just another piece of the equation.

CW: brief mentions of poison and abuse

When I told my brother that I was christopagan and occasionally going to Quaker silent worships, he told me to be careful. And from an objective standpoint, I understand why. Our father grew up in the bad sort of Catholicism. My maternal grandfather abandoned his wife and toddler daughters for a cult that poisoned literal hundreds of people (no deaths). I try to joke about it but this man whom I have never met was legitimately part of a cult that poisoned hundreds of people.

It genuinely is a huge fear of mine that I'll end up in a cult. It feels nearly inevitable, like it's a curse on my bloodline. I've had nightmares about this. Even my hope of someday being an ordained minister, hand-fasting inter-faith couples, feels dangerous. Like any drop of organized religion will have the same effect: becoming part of a cult. (This is an effect of anti-theist beliefs on children, by the way.)

But the thing about cults is that they control information. Control what people read and see, control what they think, control what they do. The phrase "knowledge is power" is simply true. This occurs in many places, not just religion; cults can form basically anywhere.

Cults control information. So I, as a self-studying scholar, am doing the exact opposite of any sort of cult activities. So it feels quite silly that my brother would tell me to be careful when going to Quaker silent worship when he's seen my collection of academic texts. Not even sermons; the silent worships, where we all sit in a circle and meditate and sometimes someone says something. And if you know anything about Quakers, you know that they have generally a good reputation.

There's something I want to say about the domination by women within the world of magic. But I never think it will be taken well. Because I was taught that men need to sit down and shut up. But I'm gonna say it anyway.

There is a scene, within the Saga of Harald Haarfager, where his son, Eirik Blood-axe burns 80 vitkar ("warlocks") alive. Including his own brother (verse/section 36). He commits a massacre by fire, one of the most painful ways to die. And he's praised for it. And it's never mentioned again. Literally, "this work was much praised" and then we move on. The slaughter of the male magic-users is some prideful afterthought for a young king. Because men shouldn't use magic; it's a woman's thing. A woman's way to gain power in a patriarchal world. If you're a man who wants power, go kill something/one. But not everyone fits that mold. We should know that now. (And yes it's stated that Harald despised magic in general so maybe it was as "simple" as that but regardless.)