#schazardous

15. Were you an extra in Transformers 4?

I mean, there were shots of the planet from space in that movie, so technically, yes! Maybe not you though because I think they only showed the side of the planet with the important Americans on it, and even if they did show the other side odds are good they somehow forgot to include New Zealand in the footage.

29. What does Tony Hawk hate?

That god damn skateboarder who stole his name without having a single aerodynamically perfect wing or razor-sharp talon to his name. DAMN that man!!!

38. Drugs

No, we- we’re okay.

38. Drugs

This is awkwar- no thank you.

38. Drugs

Who invi- who invited...?

40. How did you turn into this monster? I don’t even know you anymore.

If you didn’t think I would take the option to turn into a monster in a heartbeat, you didn’t know me in the first place.

schazardous replied to your post: Every time someone from the US expresses...

ngl, anko/red bean jam was more or less equivalent to chocolate in my kid brain, in terms of like general food categorisation

  can you spot what’s wrong with this picture?

is that blue avatar in the top right (second from the left) John Homestuck from Homestuck

ok but locationally unstable horse sounds like the worst mode of transport, ever

it would depend on whether the locational instability applied to its rider, too- if so, you get a more panicky kind of TARDIS situation going on? which is inconvenient but potentially fun wrt/horses being places they shouldn’t be. if not, yeah

“now watch, i’m going to shoot the horse out from under him”

“whoa! that was fast, sir!”

I was gonna say “tecton and skitter” but namboto beat me to it

https://soundcloud.com/hypermetaru_bluehawk/spider-fly-mannequin

Well… I suppose…You seem like a perfectly reasonable Hawren, so I don’t see any reason why I couldn’t give you such a tour myself… when I’m not supposed to be posted here, of course. If you meet me at the temple’s entrance at around midnight, I’ll take you to see the fountain itself! How does that sound? …What, you’re not sure if you’re willing to risk death for a decent tour? Tsk. Then I suppose I can’t do anything about that, now can I?…I’m just kidding, I’ll bring a ward for you. Temple, midnight. Tonight._______

Ha! Haha! How does that fit you? Just light enough for you to carry? Perfect, because that was the smallest one I could find. No, really. That thing is going to absorb all the magical potential in place of your actual body, so I would highly recommend that you not take it off or set it down once we enter the inner sanctum, alright? Alright. The sages are in their congress right now, so let’s make this quick, before they come back. Mind the stairs!

Welcome to the Rhodian Fountain of Youth.The Fountains of Youth are both the birthplace and tomb of all Sparsenkind, formed by the magical oils of the earth, to which we all shall be returned after death. It is watched over and protected by the Sparsen Sages, the elite members of our kind who have dedicated their entire lives to its cause, and to Thymus, the spirit of the fountain. Yadda yadda, you’re not here to listen to all that, are you? That’s what the daytime tour is for. Let’s see… If I timed this right, you may actually get to see the fountain erupt with Sparsenore. So keep that ward on, and watch. …And keep back, too; you don’t want to be within range of this thing’s-

CLEO.Y-yessir!WHO IS THIS ORGANIC BEING, AND WHY ARE THEY HERE, TAINTING THE PURITY OF THIS PLACE?Why, I was just about to ask them that myself! Listen, bud, it’s about time you left! Up the stairs you go!

And you can keep the ward!