#scarashots!

scaramouche , aggravated , scratches at his scalp and messes up his own bedhead . he had also just woken up from his nap . fuck , this really itches him the wrong way for some reason .

he can't seem to walk out , trust him , he's tried .

he glares at you , like that'll do anything while you're playing sleeping beauty . perhaps looking for a needle to prick you with will give him the best outcome , and ability to sweep his meaningless frustrations under rugs .

"Wake up , L/n ." he rearranges his words for the , god knows who time . you remain with no showing of signs of being the least bit disrupted by this , attempt of being awoken . and that's on the said attempts not being in the gentle side either .

one more glare and he'd probably have digging knives for eyes . he clicks at his tongue and took his phone out . it seems it's been 35 minutes , well , it doesn't really matter if he goes to class or not . his classmates were raring in the groupchat , about how their teacher was busy attending on a sick student to practice any lectures .

the vibrations of the notifications having been what awoke him . he looks at the sleeping you again and wonders if he could set his phone vibrating and wake the hell out of you too .

he chose against it as he remembers your close bond with one of his friends . a nagging fit from two chatterboxes will have to grate at his ears for a long while . heizou and kazuha really have a knack at befriending odd people . you setting the best example yet .

there's venti too . that guy really loves your every atom .

right , xiao is kind of way past just knowing you too so he'd really have to go through it if he did something atrocious to you , or at least that's what kazuha will word anything of what he does as a teasing to you would be in the aftermath .

aether would probably join the nagging crew .

he sighs and sits himself on the seat by the right to you . you didn't budge despite all the noise his intentional display of being inconsiderate have played too near you .

cupping a hand to a cheek , he rests on his elbow and ponders over nonsensical things . what else to do when you have almost an hour to waste until the next period begins ?

he looks at your face .

he's seen that face multiple times this year . it's a bit annoying how often , but he's gotten used to it .

you came from the same reading club as the five guys he hangs out with . he was ushered to join said club too but he'd rather do other things .

you didn't have much going on for you . plain and quiet , always on your heels and never at all looking directly at him . well , at least until the formal introductions done by venti was laid ahead .

your e/c eyes really struck at him that time . your eyes feeling oddly perfect being on line as his . it's a shame that your eyes are closed now , as you sleep .

seeing you sleeping so deeply he wonders if your sleeping position is really any that seemingly comfy . he copies you and dives more into pondering .

there were moments wherein you two only had each other as company , excluding this one . the majorities of these was when you two slept hours in the library , reasons and spots utterly different but that's besides the point .

there was a moment when he had to aid you with a wounded arm from an incident in class , he even had to attend to your wound himself . there was that time he gave you a handkerchief of his own when he walked in on you crying in class , at dawn , the class yet to begin , the classroom empty , you with a book and weeping silently .

you two were also paired for a project once .

all those moments together , vulnerabilities and opportunities leading doors of creaking opening , yet you never felt all that special to him , he never felt the need to pry those doors open fully . since to him you were ,

just , some girl his friends are all sheeshaw-sheesh over .

saying you were the most responsible , strong and capable person they know .

scaramouche could only scoff in mind . if only they knew how much of a vulnerable , naive and careless of an existence you truly can be at times .

helping someone from falling badly and hurting yourself in the process . crying just because a character wanted to buy his mother's favorite croissants but couldn't . staring aimlessly at everything the moment you're left alone . saying the most unnecessary things with just a whiff of awkward silence .

he stares at your braided hair .

that was one of those rare acts of yours , you were never one to tie your hair .

he feels sleepy again . he didn't even feel his eyes close . thinking of you is so tiring , it drags on for too long . at times , it even comes to points where he just thinks about you all day long .

"Scara ?"

scaramouche blinks , hearing your voice . he blinks again and again , in a daze . "You dozed off ." you were sitting between his legs , his arms around you .

oh right , you slept here last night and you both woke up past afternoon and decided to have food delivered and watch movies while , eating .

the delivery must have taken so long that he fell asleep . what a deep dream , he almost forgot all his rage in his stream last night .

"Sorry . Is the food here ?" he asks and you shake your head , leaning back after and landing said head on his shoulder . that's good , he didn't want you to eat alone .

your phone back on the table as you reach for his cheeks and squish at them . "Not yet , a few more minutes , the driver said ."

instead of his brows twitching at what you said , he only asks you to sit the other way around and face him .

that , you did . so different from how you would've flinched before at every touch on you he did .

you sit with your legs rested on his thighs and your hands on his shoulders . you tilt your head to the side a bit and smiles .

"You haven't had enough cuddles ?"

"I just , want more ." he kisses your cheek before he pulls you closer to him . arms around you and massaging your back . he leans on the couch and sighs .

"Are you hungry ?" he sounds a bit worried . "For cuddles ? Now that you're being all clingy , yeah , yeah I am ."

"I was asking if you were famished for food , but that's good to know ." scaramouche was never at all near to thinking that your relationship of just being too-far-to-be-friends would now be , this intimate .

"What did you dream about , anyways ? You kept grumbling ."

"I dreamt of that time we slept in the library until it was time to go home ."

"Oh ? High school , right ? When we were 2nd years ?"

"Yeah ,"

"I was wondering why you were beside me when Venti woke us up . They wondered too and asked why you were there and was sure you were awake because you had seen-ed in the gc hours before . Then you said you didn't leave , just because . But like , why really ?" what a detailed recollection , nothing beats your memory after all .

"I don't know . I must've been attracted to you some way even in those moments , despite not being completely aware yet ."

you pull back from him with your brows meeting and he laughs before you say a thing . "Didn't you ask me out before we graduated High School ? You mean , you've liked me since we were in our 2nd years ?!"

"Why are you so shocked ?" the two of you now were 3rd years in college . struggling to even be 4th years next semester , or maybe just you .

"Because ," you trail off and pause completely . "Because ?"

his thumb press a bit on your sides , his hands on either side of your waist . keeping you there , he feels you want to just stand and walk out .

"Because , oh ! The delivery's here ! I'll get it !"

he watches you hurry your way to the door and stays there for a bit . smirking to himself . seems to be stuck in the memory train today , he remembers one thing one of the guys said after a month or two of you two being introduced to each other .

"You know , Y/n seems interested in you ."

perhaps , heizou is worth believing sometimes .

you know , you knew , that they were all meant to graduate at one point . they can't stay a streamer their whole lives . you've witnessed and known of these graduations before . it's not new and it's not supposed to hurt you . it's most of the time , the streamers' decision .

as for your favorite vtuber's case , he said he wasn't burnt out , he was just , done . he said he tried his best to get back on his two feet , he tried , he really did . but it didn't work out as well as he thought it would . he said he had accumulated the decision of graduating months before .

and almost everyone in his community have long since known .

you weren't that attached to him to begin with honestly , you were more attached with his other fellow vtuber in the same wave . he was just really close with that vtuber so he caught your attention . you had your shit tons of laughs with his loud menacing laughter . you bawled your eyes out in his serious talks of serious things on streams . you loved how he viewed all his achievements . you loved him for who he was on stream and out of it .

you were always ready to support him with your everything .

and you still support him with this decision , he was leaving to live his life as a person of the world . to take care of his personal business . that doesn't stop you from chowing down on this bucket of ice cream and continuously crying though .

you stare at your computer screen , your chin on your boyfriend's shoulder . his tweet makes you cry even more . the tweets from his fellow close vtubers makes you wish you could say something to him too . well , you could . you cry again .

something lumping right on the very edges of your throat . you feel it hurt . and so you sob . what will become of his group now that he's going to be gone ? it's not like it can't function without him , it's just that , it wouldn't feel the same without him .

"Hey , Y/n . I swear . . ." you ignore your boyfriend and cry more . you've been hugging him since this morning and you haven't been letting go . he's been feeding you the ice cream and hugging you through it all .

"Scara will be gone . Kuni , I can't , it hurts so much ."

you wail in his arms and he only ever pulls at his patience to just sigh and pat your back for the umpteenth time today . he really doesn't get why you cry so much over this matter .

he reaches out for your chin and makes you look up . wiping your snot and tears with tissues he struggles to reach with you clinging to him like a newborn koala . you finally look at him properly , he seems to like that , with how he finally flips his frown into a smile . which only leads you to crying more and more .

"I'll miss Scara so much ."

he has been hearing this since earlier and it's been grating at his ears and he can't help but feel a tinge of envy . though placid it is not why he feels as so with all the cloudy confusion . he simply hugs you again and wonders when you'll stop .

he knew how attached you were to vtubers . he's helped you through countless times as these when your favorite of a few years finally graduates . during high school , when your very first oshi decided to graduate after long years of being with you through as you say , your toughest times .

hearing you sniff more into his sleeves , he plops down and nudge you to roll unto his shoulder this time . you hug his chest while he caresses the top of your head . "Stop crying , Y/n . Weddings don't plan themselves , you know ?"

"Let me grieve , Kuni ."

"Scara isn't dead or dying , he's just graduating ." you shake your head and snuggle more into him . "I'm sorry , just a bit more . I promise ."

you've said that at least , 25 times now . how'd he know ? he'd prefer no one ask . truly , his patience is only ever so malleable with you . such exception you've always found natural to ignore as you've had it long since before .

vtubers have become quite a piece into your life . you weren't that blessed with the best family , not least bit decent either . always alone at home left with the freezing chills of the neverending cold war you've had with your parents for as long as either you two have known . he doesn't remember who exactly introduced you to vtubers , but someone did . and since then , you've been quite attached to them .

they were a comfort you placed all your solace in , like an idiot , completely aware of their often departing but never giving up hunting and searching . always supporting until the end and crying your eyes out when they announce their expected graduation .

as a person who's always been stubborn about dreams and hopes in life , to the point that it became a thorn between you and your beloved parents , you were quite devoted to your oshis . like they were your lifeline . after long days at school before , you would play a stream and just watch and listen . you'd do your chores and tasks with one played on the background . you cry when they cry . you laugh when they laugh . your smile never fades , it ever so brightens when they speak of their appreciation of the milestones they reach because of all the support .

if you weren't fussing over schoolworks and your planned life for yourself , you were busy hunched and watching streams trying to fill a hollow in you that you were born with .

kunikuzushi was with you through all of that . he was a bigger part of your life , as you claim yourself , but that's only because he chose to partake in being a part of the other big part of your life . he was with you when you argued with your parents , when you were in your room crying and wishing you were better so they'd trust you more , when you were wondering why you even forged yourself to be the person you are now if it's not liked by the people you love most . he was with you when you finally found what you wanted to be in life . he was with you when you were the happiest , almost every stream , he watched them with you . even if it was boring and he doesn't really like it sometimes .

he even tried to be a vtuber himself for you to look at him the same way you looked at your oshis .

he did well , he hid it from you , coincidentally he even became your oshi . he learned a lot of things from being a vtuber , he was happy there , as much as he wouldn't really admit it .

when he told you . you were over the moon . he also proposed to you next and he saw it with his own eyes , how you seemed to just sit there above the moon afloat and unbelieving .

when you heard he was graduating , as scara mouche of 6WIRL of Genshin , of course you were bawling your eyes out in dismay and utter pain .

sure , you've met the rest of the members in real life . they all congratulated you two . they even said all the best things about kuni . they felt okay with everything . but it all felt hollow for a moment . scara was still your oshi of 2 years . add how mad you are that he hid it from you . you always thought the voice was merely a coincidence and him being busy was just because he was busy with his taking over of his mother's business . you should've known , really . but can you blame yourself ? kunikuzushi never sounded like he cared for vtubers to ever attempt and be one .

"Scara is just getting married . You know this ." he says and you sniff . yeah , getting married , to you . "Do you really want me to choose that career over you ?" you punch his arm with a glare .

"Damn bro , you gotta hit me with that , huh ?" you sit up , finally and wiped your own tears , wrists wet and cold . "Thank you for choosing me , Scara ."

as he looks at you look at him , like he's all you ever wanted to be imprinted in your eyes , he laughs . finally . finally he's got what he's always wanted .

"It'll always be you , Y/n . Always ."

"Are you sick ? You're too sweet—" he sits up and hugs you , chuckling as you began to laugh yourself . "I wish you all the best , Scara ." he scoffs and ruffles his hair before he did yours too , messing it up like the chords amess on the floor in his streaming room .

"Kunikuzushi , you mean ."

you kiss his cheek , to stop the ruffling . "Yeah , Kunikuzushi . I love you . My very last oshi !" he turns his face , showing a smirk you're way too familiar with . kissing you deeply until you can't remember anything but him . and how he gets you feeling , things .

"I love you too ."

SCARA-LiNE / WORK NAVi !

he thought nothing of it when you confessed . mostly because you made it out as a joke , he didn't laugh at all . couldn't . he figured why you could laugh about it like that would be because you've already dated almost every guy in your class and even some in his . he thought nothing of it when you beamed at him when he said he wouldn't mind playing around with you . he thought nothing of it when you kissed him at your highschool graduation , but he kissed you back .

he thought a lot of you after you moved in together though , college days rising with each sunrise . he didn't have any problems with you . he liked how you did everything to please him . it irked him how even so you still went and hung out with those other guys at your older brother's chem class . it irked him how you reeked of different men's cologne as he pulls you down to enjoy some hot soak in the bath . it annoyed him how you'd wake up at night and stealth away from his grasp to write something down as you laugh at the chats that kept coming in your phone . it frustrated him how you would immediately stop when he groans and half-opens his eyes and open his arms wide to signal you to get back here which you take seriously and crawl back to his chest , all giddy .

you were that perfect .

you were that easy to bend . so easy to swish at his words . but you were also hard to keep in place . you still went with other men and hung out with them , he didn't know what exactly you did with them , he never asked . he just hated how you were not aware of how they liked you , how they looked like they'd steal you from him any moment they can . he could never try and tell you to stop doing that , stay with him , never go to other men even if its just for fun . because , you've set up a deal , no , he did .

he said that , he better have the right to still fuck around and get intimate with other women even if you two were together . at first , that was to try and get your feelings away and gone as he didn't want anything to do with them , but in the end , it came out as one of the deals you both had up , as your relationship which he didn't think would last that long , lasted years .

he never actually got intimate with anyone anymore after you two officially dated . he still went to mixers and bars and kiss-to-leave but never any more than that . he also never did that anymore when you two bought a home , the home you always gush about .

he noticed how well you were able to guide him to be your ideal man . he noticed how his heart drops to his stomach when other guys , your friends that are guys , would latch on you with hugs and friendly kisses . he noticed how without you , every night was colder , every day was longer . he noticed how , he didn't want you with any other guy anymore . he noticed that after you graduated , you were growing apart . he noticed that even though you two already bought a house , you were rarely around . he noticed how sad he had become , how that sadness turned into irritation , then downright rage .

he regretted how he called up some random chick and banged them stupid . he regretted how of all places it had to be done by him in the couch you loved . he regretted how he felt like it was alright to do , foolishly believing its the same act you commence with the guys you call your friends .

it pissed him off , how as he pleasure himself with another he was busy hallucinating it was you under . it pissed him off how a thought cross his mind how someone else could probably be seeing you like this . it pissed him off how you entered the house with a smile and walked through the halls silent , how he didn't even hear you . it pissed him off how his body completely froze from its seemingly neverending fervor , when he saw you standing there and staring at the scene , smile already gone and blank expression painted anew .

he felt impelled when you didn't try to run away right away or anything . he felt impelled when you just darted away your gaze and walked into you two's bedroom only to lock it . he felt impelled to notice the snack you both loved just there in the table as he fishes up his shirt and zipped his pants and chases the woman out . he couldn't even remember her name .

he knocked at the door so hard , he had the key , but he couldn't bring himself to open it . he watches as you did leave the room with bags packed . he remembers the horror that dawned on him when you smiled with glossy eyes . he gulped so hard when you gave him his gift in a box , a cologne , the same he's been eyeing since a few months ago .

"Happy Monthsary, Love . I'm sorry , I can't even ," it ached at his heart when you slowly looked down and started to cry , your hand holding out the gift , you tossed it somewhere in the house , started bawling your eyes out . he didn't know what to do . why were you so upset ? is he wrong to think that you do this with other men too ? don't you get fucked stupid by others when he's not around ? "I can't even look at you right now ."

that was the very first time you ever said anything that made his heart ache . you only ever comment how pretty he is . how perfect he is . how kind he is even when he's doing the bare minimum . he couldn't believe it when you stormed out .

you didn't show up at all even after two years passed .

you seem to have cut connections . 7 years of love down the dustbin . none of your guy friends knew where you were , not even the few girl friends you had around . you just disappeared like that . he had hoped you'd come back . crawling . crying . begging for his forgiveness for storming out . but the fact that that all crossed his mind , may be because he knew he should be the one doing that .

you changed him a lot . living with you felt like a dream come true that he later on realized after your absence of three days that turned into months and led to years . he kept searching , for your social medias , calls and messages to your parents , to everybody . but you weren't anywhere to be found . he was so near losing his shit . he was so near just having you filed out as a missing person for some organizations to find you for him . he was so near crying everyday as he lay in your big bed , where you were no where near his arms .

you weren't around anymore .

not there when he wakes up in the middle of the night , not there to see you writing things down on your notes , not there for him to open his arms at . not there when he wakes up . not there when he showers . not there when he eats . not there when he feels tired . not there , not there anymore .

he was in denial of it at first .

he couldn't have possibly been that attached .

but he was , he was . he figured that he should atleast cut himself some slack and remove those things that reminded him of you . but to do that , wouldn't he have to erase all things he favored ? he figured that having to settle with selling the house and just buying another somewhere would be a good start to this impossible quest . he had enough savings since he didn't have to spoil you anymore with things you never asked for .

he sold everything , from furniture to everything else . he already found a new place , already built and ready for him . that place was big enough for the two of you , maybe even bigger . he wasn't sure why some people found that odd until he remembers you weren't around anymore .

yeah , you're not supposed to be included in the picture but he forcefully shimmy you in . hoping that you'd come back to him one day , or he'd find you , he'd like it more if you two met somewhere along the way of you coming back to him and him looking for you .

though that seemed impossible .

he was sweeping off as some men started carrying things out . they took the tv , couch , refrigerator and all those heavy things out . they were already sold , those things were pretty expensive so they were sorted to different people easily . his bank account was filled heavy again . he sweeps off the dust and other things and was about to do the same to what was kept under the refrigerator , but there was a small folded antique-looking paper there , with other miscellaneous things he could probably pile in some box and label it lost and found .

he wondered what that was , it was a bit thick , dusty and dirty , so he took tissues first to wipe it off . it was kept closed with a string of dark brown , it was of same color scheme as the last box of expensive cologne you've given him before you disappeared .

SCARA ! Happy monthsary !!! Can you believe it ? We've been together for 7 years ! You didn't leave me at all , amazing ! I have been thinking very well of what I should give you this month . You always give me expensive pretty things . Even when it's no occasion at all , I wonder where you get the money and time to think of what to get , or do you just buy whatever ? I would want to do that too but I doubt you'd want something I chose on a whim , I also doubt you've liked anything I've given you thus far . That's not the point ! Anyway ! I decided to get you that cologne ! I also wanted to spend more time with you tonight ! I've been working on multiple shifts with my brother's friends because I needed cash for my planned gift for mom's birthday !!! I'm finally taking her to Switzerland ! You know the one I always talked about . It took long years of overwork and all but it was fun ! My older brother saved up a lot too so maybe we can stay there for a week or two !! His friends helped me a lot ! Bringing me to different gigs ! They were all innocent and good gigs, don't worry . Why am I rambling about this THIS IS YOUR GIFFFT AAAAAA , AHAHAHAH I guess I've never really written a letter and got off track .

Anyways Scara ! I'm so happy , I didn't expect you to stay with me this long but I loved it all ! I'm sorry I wasn't around much these past few months , I was doubling up on the rackets to get more cash since you know Mom's birthday is just a day away from our monthsary !! I should've told you , but you looked so pissed these last few days so I couldn't , I'm sorry . I'll let you have the bed tonight and I can sleep on the couch if you want ! I know you hate it when I cuddle up at you . I hope you know that I love you so so much . Thank you for always being here for me . Thank you for never leaving me . Thank you for helping me earn for my dream house as well . Thank you for everything Scara , you're the best . You may be kinda stingy and rude , but your hugs and kisses are aaaaaaaaaall worth it ! I'm sorry if this finds you in a bad mood though . Tell me about what's been going on with youuuuu . I'd love to help you out . I love you .

Let's have fun today . We can watch a movie you like . For once . You always let me choose , then don't let me hug you for days when it was a sappy romance one . I'm happy you watched it with me though . People always say I'm bad at picking movies . Well , whatever . Cheers to another month in our 7 year love ! I love you !!

Was this too long , I don't know .

he read the letter through . your handwriting just as mid as usual . his heart sinking again . he couldn't believe he was the only one in the wrong after all . he couldn't believe that he wasn't paying attention enough . he couldn't . he regrets everything even more .

he didn't cry that quickly . but he eventually did . it was an odd thing for him to do . everything he had done with and for you was always odd . the way he stuck with you , the way he cherished you , the way he couldn't let you go even after two years .

"Woah , you're crying . Whaaaat ."

it was clichè . how he froze for a second . how he turned the next . how his indigos widened , at the sight of you , with your pretty attire , laid down hair . e/c eyes boring at the paper he held as he struggled to keep his sobbing in place . "Oh , don't tell me this is the first time you're reading this ?"

he couldn't answer . his throat closed . he felt , immense , shrill . seeing you beside him . "Fucking some random gal and looking so regretful , even crying , after reading my letter . Don't tell me you misunderstood everything , and thought I was fucking the men that were helping me earn cash ."

". . . What are you doing here ?" his words were barely that close to being a whisper . he mentally cursed at his tongue , how could he ask that . he's supposed to be thanking you for being there .

"I heard you were selling the house . I was shocked and didn't believe the news and remembered it was you so maybe it can be legit so I came with that in mind . Nii-chan said you'd have probably missed me . He only thought that because he didn't know you fucked the waitress at the restaurant we went to , for our seventh year anniversary . Why did it have something to do about our anniversaries ? I can't believe you even got her number too ."

you were in pain . when you saw everything . you were broken . shattered . completely unbelieving . you weren't expecting anything when you came home that night . but you still kept silent in the halls because you didn't want to be noisy until you see him . but there he was , fucking some lady . right on your monthsary . how could he . how could he . how could he .

after making you believe that he's changed from the fuckboy asshole he is . after making you believe that he's changed to suit your ideals . after making you believe that the last 7 years would be a mark for much more .

"I felt so stupid . Did you fuck other girls that well too when we were dating those 7 years ? Did they moan that loud too ? Did they scream your name that slurred too ? Was it good ? Did you feel as good ? You fucking piece of shit , I thought you loved me too ."

when you decided to stay in Switzerland where your brother is . you made an excuse that scaramouche and you just had a fight and your brother understood and let you stay . he didn't expect you to stay there for so long that you decided to live there . telling people to never tell scaramouche where you are .

it hurt so bad when he looked more shocked and confused than guilty and regretful when you caught him . did he think you fucked other people too ? did he think you were cheating with those guys that helped you achieve your long-life wish of getting your diabetic mother to her dream-place before she turned blind ? was he that unbelieving of you ?

sure you agreed to the deal that he can still fool around with also being able to date you but at that time ? that deal was made atleast 5 years from then ! had all his actions of changing and being more to your liking just a way to fool you ? have you been that ignorant of everything ?

he was a jerk , you knew . but you thought even as a jerk , he had started to love you as you loved him . he was such a jerk and you were that idiot that went through his landmines to be with him . he was such a jerk and you were stupid enough to fall for him .

fallen so deep that even after long two years , you were so happy to hear that he was looking for you . that the new house he had made built had enough space for the two of you . you were so happy that you heard that he was going nuts , drinking , and drinking and losing his shit . you felt like the jerk at that time .

you came here , not expecting him to be clicking his tongue and hugging you so tight . fitting snug in your body as he continued to embrace you . ". . . Let me go , you asshole . I trusted you ."

you started crying too .

"I trusted you . . . How could you do that to me ."

he hugs you tighter . "I'm sorry ." he says , "I'm sorry ." he repeats , "I'm so so sorry ." he kept on going on about that as you broke down completely in his arms . you wanted him to let you go , to explain and let you know . but he was crying too . crying so hard for you . he was the cold , ruthless , bastard that caught your eyes , he was kind when you dated , but never did he ever say sorry this deeply , or cried in front of you so meekly .

"I was wrong . I didn't know . I should've asked . I should've let you know . I love you . I missed you , I felt like I couldn't live right without you so please ," he was gritting at his teeth as he exhales a breath , "Give me another chance ." he was practically pleading and you just continued crying .

"No , no , no , I didn't , I didn't come for t-this . Let me go , Scara—" he shakes his head , your tears staining at his shirt , "You're going to leave me again . Don't do that . It hurt so bad . You weren't anywhere . Nowhere of my reach . Nowhere for me to drive to , nowhere ."

"And now that you're finally back , you're gonna leave me again ? Y/n , I know I was wrong . Please . Give me another chance . I'll be better ."

he has never said anything of this level to you . never cried and begged you to stay . never have he ever admitted he was wrong in any way . never . not even once .

"You liar." you sob . "You're just gonna go around fucking other people again . I hate you ." you were struggling to not want to hug him back . you missed him too . you missed him so much .

"I won't . I never did anyone other than that last girl when we were dating . It was the biggest mistake ever , I know . I never did when we broke up . I love you , Y/n . Give me another chance . I'll make it right . I'll love you more . I won't ever do that again . Believe me . Please , I'm begging you ." he locked away from you , only to gaze through you with his indigo orbs that were still glossed with his pretty tears . you shook your head , you wanted to say yes . succumb to his promises . he has never said anything like those before . he had never said i love you to you before , atleast not when you force it out on him .

"Scaramouche . Do you love me ?" relief dawns in his usual sadistic eyes as he nods , "Yes ." you look away . "Since when ?"

"I don't know ."

you purse your lips . "I can't just , forgive you like that ." of course , who can ? giving someone another chance , is a lot harder than it looks . "I'm not expecting to be so easily forgiven ." he wipes his tears away . "I'm also not expecting for you to immediately date me again ."

he smiles a small one , as he wipes your tears with his slim fingers , and you leaned in on his touch . "I'm asking you to give me another chance . To set it right . I'll court you if you want me to . I'll wait for when you want me back . Don't , just don't discard me again ." he kisses more tears as they start pooling at your eyes again . he was so gentle , docile , and it was surprising . but It's all you wanted to hear from him .

as in one movie you heard , if you were already falling ? why can't you just jump in ? try and trust him again , get hurt and cry again , he was a jerk since the beginning . and now that jerk is here , begging . this is a miracle in it itself already . lets just hope more comes your way .

"Scara , I don't need any of that . Just treat me right this time ."

"Get a grip already , you just tripped in front of him . Not stripped or did some accidental pole dancing , what are you moping around so much for ?" you've clearly done far worse things . more worth of all this display of embarrassment . he doesn't say that though . aware by now just how different yours and his standards and logic with things can be .

"You don't get it , Kuni ." you whine , once again , almost a miracle it is for him to finally see you lift your head after at least an hour and a half of just plummeting it down your apricot dripped table . "Yeah , I don't . Mind telling me why it matters so much that he saw you trip down face flat down the floor ? Didn't you sing off tune in front of him last week ? How about that cringe ass letter you spent more time crisping edeges of till midnight to crease up so well and spent barely 10 minutes on the actual content of the thing ?"

"Meanie ."

he scoffs with your glare . the cutesy word definitely doesn't fit you . but you get like that after getting all teary , can't be helped .

he floats away from where he was floating from outside your bedroom window . going inside and watching you with heated eyes as you stood up and left your unfinished book reports to continue your sulking in your bed , which he made earlier this morning .

"Why do you even like the guy ? Is it really all about the face and fame for you ?" you kept silent as he sat on your swivel chair , he can't feel your warmth from it at all , like he can't feel the cushion either . he spins once , before he runs his mouth again . "I bet Kazuha would give you a chance if you were just to be more direct . No one ever said your actions have to be so discreet ."

why even bother in the first place ? to try to tell and show feelings if you keep on keeping one foot back away from all the risks the shutting of the door and the crossing of the line could do ? he sighs when you keep quiet .

remembering the time he died , and the time he pulled you out of your stalking shadows .

because fucking grim reaper said to do as so .

kazuha this , kazuha that . since the very day he came up to you as a ghost , in your school's summer uniform and with a mix of a scowl and frown on his face , he's heard kaedehara kazuha's name a billion times , go in and out of your mouth . like a lollipop that you'd die without having between your lips , caged behind rows of railing teeth .

but kazuha wasn't just some hot guy he also was aware of who is because of having such title at school , but also because he's actually one of kazuha's friends when he was alive .

but you didn't know that .

because all along , your focus was on kaedehara kazuha , never away , always there . even when kazuha had other people around him . from your sights , always just a bit to too far meters away from him , you only ever saw him . as if he was emitting a light that cascaded and faded almost everything around him .

scaramouche knew you were interested in kazuha since day one , even when he was still alive . there was something that was hard to miss with those subtle eyes of yours that always found ways to latch on a certain word lover boy .

subtle yet determined , prominent and evident . however , he was the only one which noticed , so he paid it no mind . he thought he was just imagining things . looking over through lens , too diluting .

but when he died , and was sent to you , it was summer break . it was funny as the time for mourning took over the days of planned vacations , but he was too busy annoyed of how idiotic drivers can be .

add to how some self proclaimed grim reaper just had to go and say bullshit like hiding his kindness and only letting children have a peek of it rewards him little to no brownie points in heaven and has to go accumulate a few more , he already , wasn't in a good mood to have been assigned to you , when he was briefed of what he had to help you with .

when he realized he was to assist y/n l/n though , he somehow , felt a bit relieved . at least this time killer would be a bit more amusing .

but you were sulky and listless .

not being at school where you had the perfect excuse of seeing him almost everyday , you became one lump of an absolute hollow shell . even one drop of enthusiasm can't seem to remain in you .

scaramouche didn't know what to do at first until he started piecing up just what human you truly are from how much he watches you laze about and almost always forget he's there haunting you .

you were incredibly indifferent .

when he showed up and stated his reasons for future sticking to you , all you really did was analyze how he floated a bit off the floors and how he could float even more , only passing by him a nod and a nice to meet you .

you clearly didn't recognize him at all .

scaramouche figured it'd be bad to have you so down in the dumps and with absolutely no chance . its hard for him too as he just wants to be able to rest entirely already . so he went to pull some strings and tried to get you out , teach you some things he knows was under aligned kazuha's radar of preference . he decided to press you up slowly into one origami kazuha would want to keep by his side to stare at before he sleeps at night .

during two months and almost three that you two spent together , scaramouche could already name a lot of things worth loving about you . perhaps it was because of his pretext of needing to build something to love about you , but for some reason , he was able to distinguish between baking soda and baking powder in no time .

and it was hard as he knew he wasn't exactly capable of fully showing you those love-worthy things about you , himself . all he can really do was help you bait kazuha into it . which as of now , is working quite a bit . seeing as how kazuha have gone from just flinching when seeing you to actually smiling a bit now and even calling out your last name . one heck of a progress , if scaramouche could have a say .

he wished he was also awfully indifferent .

he can't help but want to shatter all he's helped you built right when the progress was just about to hit its booming . as ironic as that sounds . he can't figure out yet also why he even bothers feel this way , such unfathomable feeling , such a bother in it itself already .

"Do you really , love Kazuha ?" you were , yet again , silent , before nodding , slowly , twice . seemingly sinking more into your mattress and pillows . "What things do you plan to do when you get to be with him ?"

"Like when I date him ?" you sure dream big . "Yeah . Like when you get to date him ."

"I'd want to hug ." he nods . "And ?" you shrug .

"That's the gist of it ."

"Can't you just hug him as a friend or something ?" you finally turn , creaking your bed and glaring at him as your sheets cover almost all of your face . only your furrowed brows peeking at his violets ,

"Hugs are a lot more intimate of a thing . You hug when you kiss . You hug when you're sad , happy , or whatever . You hug to be the closest you can be to the person you want to be close to . You even hug when you fuck . Kuni , you tend to really treat me like a kid sometimes ."

"No kid just downright says fuck in context of sex right in midst of a sweet sentence ."

"True ." you finally rose from your bed and stared right at him . "You've been kind of mad since earlier . I got tense when you did . Maybe why I tripped . So , what was the reason ?"

though almost so soft like mochi , you were one to say less of what's unneeded and most of what's in dire peak of acquisition , as sharp as the knives that cut up necks and beheads under the name of guillotines .

"I was ? Mad ?" how could you have known and not him , himself ?

"Yea , like you wanted to possess a body and guide them to some forced scuba diving from an airplane a million feet above on air without a parachute . Did something happen ?"

you were all humped on that pillow , you hugged it so hard as you rest your chin on it . looking at him with those eyes of yours , with bits of gleam , diamond bits shattered and plastered on your eyeballs so squeak . you remain there with your head a bit tilted as you bore holes into his translucent visage .

his existence already fleeting but always materializing under your touch . your touch that never dared tighten .

in an attempt to shake of both envy and worry , anxiety and loneliness , a feeling of shackling forlorn , he plop down the floor and straightened his legs .

eyes still on you .

until he spread his arms and your eyes went there . "You're asking , for a hug ?" you say , almost seeming to be judging but he shakes those arms lent out and smiles , or smugs at you .

"What ? Scared of a little ghost hug ?"

though you were the indifferent type that lets almost all things pass , you definitely had a competitive side to you . a view of a part of you , he always see , all free .

your eyebrow twitch and with little to no sound , your bed creaked again , moving out of it and standing first with your feet beside his pressed thighs , looking down on him .

even under you , he still seems so much more than you . you groan , closing your eyes and sitting down on his lap , lighting your weight as much as you can .

before , he was sure you'd pass through him . but you don't . he was incredibly cold , and to him , you were awfully warm .

you press your cheek on his shoulder , your breath on his neck but he didn't mind . he never did , this was how he positioned you before too . saying it feels more comfy for you both , this way .

your arms latch right around his waist . "At this point , I should just date you ."

he held close to you as well . the only existence that helps him remember what it's like to touch and be touched . such bittersweet concept all over your lovely body on his .

he shrugs . "Maybe you should . Ditch Kazuha or something ."

you laugh . "Dumbass . Even if I did , would dating you be any better ? You always told me before to hook up with him already so you can finally rest in peace . I don't want to tie you down here ."

he hugs you , impossibly closer . "How about you just don't and I stay here with you forever ?"

"I just said I didn't want to tie you down here ." he rests his head on yours . "But you aren't . I'll just be staying on my own accord ."

"Shut up , Kuni . I want to sleep ." snuggling into him , looking for more of those pricking sensations . "Do you still love Kazuha ?"

you kept quiet . and he didn't want that . so he pulled you a bit away . held unto your arms and forced you to look his way . your eyes glossy and sleepy , almost closing as you release a short breath , unhinged and chaos all over your irises . such desperation he must have shown for your sight to have felt that way on him .

"I still do , don't worry . I'll hook up with him soon . You can be free ." you held on his cheeks . they were all frozen mochi . he closes his eyes only to open them up and glare at you . "Now I feel less mad and more shitty ."

"I see ." you went and pecked at his check , a smooth kiss and he remained piercing you with his violets . "I kiss my older brother on the cheeks all the time , don't look so disgusted ."

you aim to stand up already , leave him at that . but he held unto the back of your waist , the base of your spine . resting his face on your chest as he looks up at you with that sticky sight .

"Ten more minutes ." you ignore the desperation and the pain in his eyes . a ghost and a human can't love . it's no use brooding over the fact that you met him too late . you kissed at his forehead and nods .

"Okay . I might fall asleep though ."

today's paper had you in quite the slump though . you couldn't even count anymore the moments you pause and your mind go blank , fingers that were the fastest suddenly brought in the quickest halt . you'd even say it was a miracle you got it done .

pressing on the dark blue button with its text submit . the button you've been pinning eyes at since earlier . having clicked it now felt like a miracle as well . you swore you could hear a chorus of some angels' cappella , going their way in your ears once the slide of you've submitted blahblahblah ; pops up next in your screen . finally . you could finally rest that hunched back of yours . true , the living room have always been your favorite , with the lenient sunlight or consoling moonlight passing by the huge wall windows , and the comfy couches of monotone colors , the fake plants , a variety of those . the shelves and the pretty table you've picked out yourself . but right now , the bedroom at the second floor at the very end of the right corridor is the only place you wish to be .

"It's late . Are you done ?"

your e/c eyes darted to the side , your lover standing on the door frame with no actual door aside , got your breath stopping for a bit of a while . he states his words with much groggy-filter to suffice the fact that he probably just woke up . he leaned there by the white of the walls with his arms crossed to touch his elbows , his hair somehow a bit unruly , his face not that seen clearly . you notice the clock atop where he stood . 2:30 . somehow the heat of your laptop rested on your lap , felt even more hot . you put it away , as if fearing your skin could get any sort of scalding .

you don't answer to him . he probably doesn't need you to . you place your laptop somewhere in the living room's table , beside the clear vase and its lilacs . scaramouche changes those flowers every day . where he gets his tattoos , a good flower shop is near . some pretty man works there so no matter how he loved the flowers and want it somewhere in your house ; fresh and alive no matter the time of day , he would never let you go get it yourself . he wouldn't say it aloud but he didn't like how long you stared at that guy with his weird red streaked pale hair . you really just thought the florist's vibe fit his part .

you stood from where you sat with a few taps at your thighs . exhausted couldn't even described what state you're in right now . you were about to tell him that he could go back to sleep if he wanted , and you'll be there after you wash up . you might be assuming , but you'd rather try and piece up an assumption than not even show any consideration for his sudden awakening . you assumed that he awoke since he couldn't feel you on the bed by his side . he did say he was having trouble sleeping these nights and you did mention that you'd help him sleep well . you have been doing just that , until this day .

when you were about to pass him , with a small peck on his cheek . he grabs at your wrist , sliding his fingers between the gaps of yours . "I'm gonna wash up . You can go back to bed , I'll be there soon ." he says nothing , just staring sleepily at the way his hand fit snug against the small of yours .

". . . I'll wait ."

you didn't think of it much and just nodded . heading your way to the bathroom to get it all over with , you just needed to wash your face and brush your teeth anyway , you've done all essentials earlier before these late hours . with him .

he doesn't let go of you . when you were about to brush your teeth and tugged at your hands that held each other , he opens his eyes lazily and sees you motioning how you couldn't squeeze the toothpaste out and hold your toothbrush at the same time . he closes his eyes and grabs the toothpaste himself , putting some for you and gesturing you to hurry up . he didn't have a choice but to part and relax his knuckles though , when you had to wash your face . he just rests them on your waist as he statues himself behind you .

he's being awfully handsy .

you don't really mind . after you were done , he even pats your face dry for you , brushes your hair even though you didn't intend to do it . after all that , he's got you in his boxers and a loose white t-shirt , since your earlier tank top got wet with the washing of the face incident . he mentions how you shouldn't wear a bra when you sleep and shimmy you out of it himself . you let him do what he thinks he needs to do . when he hugged you after slipping you into his big shirt , you were wondering if he was planning to carry you to bed himself .

but he doesn't . he just grasps at your hand again .

not letting go again . climbing in the bed first , and putting out space and lifting up the covers . his bent arm failed to keep him up any longer and it stretched out the space he's supposedly given you . as if the bed wasn't big enough for you to roll around in . you do as unmentioned . slipping your own arm somewhere under his chest area since he seem to be up for some big-on cuddles .  what you didn't expect was how he slides and rests his head on your chest . your arms slumps on his shoulders and you hear him groan .

the room is indeed cold . the air is conditioned to have it the most coldest room out of all the other rooms , especially during nights . since scara supposedly likes it cold . you like to think that he likes it cold enough that he wouldn't feel hot under the thick blankets , which you liked , and the cuddling of your body against him , which he liked .

scaramouche is a cold person . he's rude . he's arrogant . he's sometimes even immoral . he has this naturally sharp tongue , accompanied with his resting bitch face that practically screams fuck off , don’t bother me unless necessary , i'll destroy you and your pathetic life , and more things that everyone would gladly point out for you to turn your back to him like how they all did . all these have brought him no good anything , only ever those backhanded compliments and sometimes just straight insults . he's so handsome , too bad he got that shit of a personality . if only he was nice . have you heard ? he's rich as hell too ! no wonder he's so fucking arrogant !!

when you started dating . you didn't care at all , just like how you did now . you weren't hurt by his knife-sharp words , they came to you as dull and tacky . you weren't that affected by his roughness , mentally , at least , physically ; you get bruises and marks and he'd cuss at himself internally . gritting his teeth as his whole face , for a second , resort to such show of regret and worry . while you didn't really mind since you figured the reddish purplish bruise on your wrist looked much like a bracelet , and it looked cute .

he cares a lot . so much , too much . he gets worked up when you look more tired than usual . he hated it when you crammed for things . he's used to you being idle and aloof while he does everything . he is subtly affectionate . he isn't as bold . he masks his acts of love with excuses , even if he uses your insecurities and incapability to his wits . he's still training his tongue , though you doubt the teasing remarks will stop .

he makes time for you . even if your schedules are always like those misunderstanding-trope in novels , wherein your schedules sometimes overlap but your free times just don’t match up , your idle-moments never incline at any given time . he gets you dinner . he prepares the bath . he washes your hair , combs it , dry it , you name it . he kisses away all worries with his pretty lips . 

many would deny that he loved you as much as you loved him ,  but they weren't you . they couldn't see this ‘him ’ . they couldn't , no , wouldn’t . if they can , then maybe they'd shut up for once .

be that as it may . he isn't usually this clingy . his hold on you is much tighter than usual too . his legs locking yours , his muscles tense up when you caress his nape like he did with your lower back and that's when you wonder if he was alright .

"Neh , Scara ," you call out . he doesn't say anything , so you close the small half inch keeping your body away from him . hugging him back , his hair is a bit wet . you washed it yourself , each lock reeked of lavenders . like the scent your home diffuser bursts all around . you still ask , "Is something wrong ?" he immediately clicks his tongue and pulls you closer , "Nothing is . Shut up ."

you still at his response , taken aback but that's his usual choice of words , the way he said it is quite rougher too . you try to pull back and have a look at his face he keeps burying against your breasts . he may have mistaken you for being hurt and pushing him away so when you tap and try to push him by his bent arms , he kisses your chest thru his thick shirt . "Sorry , I didn't mean to say that ." despite the lack of sincerity , you felt satisfied with the way his lips trail up from your chest to your collarbone . he's looking at you now . chin pressed where his nose once was at .

it's rare for him to say sorry .

you kiss the side of his lips , relishing in the state you two are in . "I'm not mad . It's alright . Old habits die hard ." putting your hands on either side of his cheeks , you noted he looks a lot sadder tonight . you wonder why . "Was it a bad dream again ?" he's been having those a lot these days . his eyes moving away from yours and his hold securing more came to you as a silent yes .

you slide back some of his bangs and looks at him thru his indigo eyes , before putting a kiss at it's very edge , which got his breath stocking on the hollow of his throat . you smile . "Does it have something to do with me ?" one more kiss and he seemed to have wanted to stop you smiling so much to his flushing cheeks , he then scoots his head on the crook of your neck . "You left me . Again ." he sounded like he was spitting the venom he sucked out of his own wound . you sigh , hugging him back , patting at his hair . he's acting like such a baby . and as much as it's cute , it's quite worrying .

"If you don't do any more of those shits , then you won't have to worry about anything . I won't leave you ." he smacks his lips gently and grunts . "I know ." seemingly liking the way you played with the strands of his hair . you laugh at his answer , so he knew .

you feel him rubbing circles on your back . "Does it hurt ?" he knew you were stuck in that hunched position since the time he was persuading you to just sleep and until he woke up amidst said bad dream . "It does ." hah . you've always been honest , he liked that .

"Here ?" he traces the lower regions , you hum , encouraging him . he presses on to it gently . after all that , he was sure you've gotten your tense body relax more against him . like jelly were you between his arms . you didn't know if he said it thinking you were already asleep , "Love you ." but you were sure he didn't mean for you to hear it with that hushed voice he used as he kiss at the side of your neck . you just pat at his back and answered anyway , voice coarse but he probably didn't mind . "Love you more ."

you could feel his lips forming into a light smile that'd probably look smug in your eyes , he hums . hugging you even more . like a baby , that's how he acted . so cute and feeling small against you , seemingly trying to hide beneath your skin . somewhat wishing to be held . yearning for the love and affection that'd lead him to learn . to be better . to not hurt you in any way at all . not anymore . he can't do the same horrible thing again .

when you awoke , your paper was renowned to be so great , and even with his somewhat noncaring reaction , as you informed him of so , he still sits you in his lap and showers you with kisses and small praises . short and sweet . you couldn't ask for anything else .

"Eat , we'll get what flowers you like today ."

SCARA-LiNE / WORK NAVi !

breathing out one more time , you clutch at your purse and whispered . "One more day , Y/n . One more day ." pushing the buttons to enter the code by what machinery sorcery there was by the door , you hear the usual clink in which signaled for you to turn the knob to the side . Certain pair of indigos burying themselves into your e/c , you flash him a smile . "You're here early ."

rolling his eyes , he steps back , scoffing . "Are you ," he started , his usual sharp voice of knives and small daggers somehow melting into a putty puddle of melted iron . "Hm ?" you urge him on , "We can just stay in today ." he finally says , which you immediately shake your head at , hands waving at front of his face as if to further push in your declining of the idea .

"No , no , no !  Didn't I promise we'd finally be able to get to spend some quality time together today ?" as odd as it is that you're dating him , it's odder for him to be considerate . even to you , his girlfriend of 3 years . though of course , you were undeniably tired , having nearing graduating and cramming for a thesis , and as reasonable as it is to him to consider letting you have some rest instead , it was evident enough these last few weeks , raging to nearing the count of amounting to a month , how little time it is you two have spent together .

of course , he comes by your apartment to give some barely even there  moral support sometimes , but it doesn't change the fact that even though that sort of visit lasts for almost 8 hours , all that ever occurs during those turn of 60 minutes , is him not being able to be spared even a glance from you whom got your head all stuck on the screen .

he eventually stopped coming over around a week of the same thing happening . you miss his frequent calls , and when you do have time to call him , he's already sleeping . the last time you got him finally caught within your grasp , sight and ears all of that aligned , was two days ago in the uni . after passing your parts to your leader to the thesis , coincidentally he was having a nice leisure talk with some woman by the fountain .

you think nothing of the woman at all despite how he was smiling , a whole lot at her . which is again , oddest of the odd , he rarely ever smile . maybe it was because you weren't able to have proper sleep or even meal those times that you didn't even have the time and fuck to spare to think about that .

he doesn't say anything about how you two barely connected at all for a whole month , waved the girl bye with a smile . and that kinda rips your unfortunate indifference apart . why was he smiling at other women like that ? he used to say he hated doing that the most , makes you feel special because even with such statement , the moment you wake up beside him , that small smile graces your wokening .

you suddenly remember how impulsive it was to ask him out on a date then and there that day . and how he looks somehow reluctant of it until you laid out all the possible reasons of why , how , what makes it important to go on a date as soon as possible . he ended up agreeing to it in the end . though grumbling and totally denying of the idea at first .

"Cinema ?" you mouth , the date have been agreed on to go by his plans . he hasn't given you a hint at all of what you were going to be doing or where you would be going but you didn't at all think it'd be the cinemas of all places . he hates crowded places . he has already gotten that fact dug on your mind so well throughout the years . with that , you look at him , a look of worry and wonder mixing like mochi into your eyes , sticky and persistent as it gleamed enough for him to feel it by the side of his eyes . "Hn ? Yeah , cinemas . Didn't you say you want to watch this shit last time ? Here we are ."

pointing at the poster of some animated movie you did say you wanted to watch , he speaks of it like he had no prior plans at all and just dragged you here with that in mind to make up for it . still , it felt nice to know he listens to your pointless random ramblings . "You don't want to ?" he tilts his head a bit to meet your dazed gaze , hold on your hand tightening . "I'm just , super happy you remember I said that ."

"You're worth the trouble ."

though so monotone , the flat of his voice calmed your ferocious oceanic waves of anxiousness as you sigh . "Hm hm , love you . Let's go ? We'll miss the trailers ." he nods , as you walk ahead and he hold the popcorn on one free hand . not expecting how you started slowly running to said destination , "You'll trip if you run—"

you just laugh at his scolding .

"Don't fall asleep , we're barely reaching the main characters' boring family's introduction ." you nod as you lean into his shoulder , your head have been there since earlier and he hasn't been saying anything about it . you regarded that to be a signal of him not minding . you were initially so hyped about this movie . but you've seen millions of spoilers now on tiktok , since you spend most of your 20 minute breaks scrolling , and the app seem to be stalking your private life , your fyp have been filled with spoilers of it and as stubborn you are , always just handing the responsibilities to your future self , instead of just scrolling past it to avoid any more spoilers , you like , save and even put it on your favorites . not at all expecting the algorithm to then flood your fyp with the same content .

you kind of already knew how the guy gets his whole arm mangled enough that you see his bones , and how the half zombie girlie ends up eating the guy she's been burdening since the start of said movie , what a , fucking tragedy . yet it gets you tearing up , the guy sacrificing his everything , even his survival for some girlie that he's been one sided-ly inlove with , since fuckening birth , the idea just hurts .

seeing it now for like , the 100th time though , it just seems downright stupid , idiotic , foolish . though somehow still understandable and pitiful . blame the spoilers for the negative add of perception . scaramouche puts his arm around your body and settles his hand on your tummy as he sighs , leaning into your head too . "This is shit , Y/n ."

"Hmm . . ." you still stare at how lovey-dovey the two of them deem to be right now though . in that screen , big and huge , you wonder if love can really bloom within such short span of time . perhaps , yeah , perhaps .

when you awoke , credits was already on . the amount of names getting pulled up into the black of the huge screening , you squint eyes and feels scaramouche rubbing against your stomach a bit . his palm pressing on it lightly , pressing a small kiss on your head too as you noise your way into his perceiving as awake .

"Sorry , sorry , sorry , I feel asleep . I ," he only ever nods , your waist and stomach feeling cold now without his arm . "It's alright , didn't you also say you wanted to go to that manga cafe a station away from here ?" he didn't , look mad . even just a smidge of irritated . even though you fell asleep , even though the idea of being able to talk about the movie had gone to waste , even though you were the one pressing on that you wanted to spend more time with him . in the end , you just slept . he gets you up , by one hand . staring at you as you bite at any inner part of your lip you could reach . he makes you sip on the still cold coke and freed your lips in the process . "You're such a bother sometimes , give me a kiss ."

you still a bit , gazing at the way he leans into your height , is he being for real ? not knowing the answer but also not wanting him to stay like that any longer , you went in for it . the taste of cola on your lips transferring a bit on his . he just looms over you once you were done and smiles a bit , looking like a smirk on one sense , a sweet smile on a made-up one . "You're being . . . way too nice to me today . Are you planning on dumping me when we get home—"

flicking your forehead , after he immediately holds both your hands and glares at you , jokingly , not as icing as what he first gave you , still intimidating though . knowing the context , cutely intimidating ! "I wouldn't have watched that boringass movie if I was only gonna dump you . Stop saying that ." you nod , hesitantly . "You really won't , bro ?"

"Really won't ."

in the manga cafe , you both settled on that closed space , he got you laying down on his lap , you were wondering why but he keeps on fixing your lips shut each time you try to pry for an actual answer . "Just , read . You haven't read the latest volume right ? The girlie you so preach about there is gonna get ," he pauses himself as you look at him , the manga only ever lowered enough for you two to meet sights . he laughs a bit and dips a hand down to pinch at your cheek . "Want me to continue ?" you shake your head right away and he chuckles , small chuckling , until he went back to his reading himself .

one hand on your head , massaging your scalp . his other hand occupied with that one manga you were rambling about a few weeks ago . supposedly , it was a manga that makes all reader weep after the 20th chapter to its 50th which is the ending . but you see him on the last chapter of the last volume , barely any pages in but stoic face he keeps up still . you wonder if it's because it doesn't have much impact on him because he doesn't really get sentimental over this things or if you're just too emotional sometimes .

he hasn't said anything , only the sound of pages turning and his occasional sipping of tea heard around . you hold on his hand , his massaging gets you sleepy . he doesn't say a word and lets you sit up again , but in the end , you lean on his shoulder much like you did in the theaters . you read silently a bit more and you see him reading something else already . he didn't cry at all . he holds on your hand like you wanted .

and was making this small humming noises .

for someone with such spine shivering voice , he sure sounds soft and mellow . no no no , you can't fall asleep . what will he say when you fall asleep again ? you didn't make him come out on a fairly windy winter day to just sleep whenever you're both seated and rested with cushions on your backs and bums . you shake your head and blink again and again . but in the end , the comfort dwelling in you , with his warmth seeping into yours , render you incapable of any sort of humane control . your eyelids , felt heavier than any lead , and your body felt all soft and light . a small thud resounding before the flimsy sight of the mini room starts glitching and beep , it was dark all over , warm and soft .

jolting up , you were covered in white fluff . looking around , scara was just beside you , on his phone , turning to you soon after . "Oh , morning , slept well ?" he fixes himself up on his elbows and slowly went to you . "I'm having food delivered . You're hungry , right ? There were no sundaes though , the ice cream machine near the store we go to really don't love you , huh ? They're never working when we order . . . Aaaand you're crying ."

you could see the way his lips coil and he clicks his tongue , staring at you first as you cry your eyes out . you don't know why , can't tell so in an understandable matter . but it hurts to see him caring so much , what if he's just doing this to unload the burden of any guilt he might be feeling as he plans to leave you after all of these ? what if he's getting tired of you always being busy and unavailable , and what if he's finally found , someone else ? you've been denying it all day long , that he's being considerate of your situation . he isn't supposed to be . he isn't . it's scary when the people you've been burdening doesn't lash out at you and even comforts you in their own way , it usually , ends on a very permanent parting , when they get too tired . you shake your head and looks down .

that guy always had that dreading , distasteful and annoyed look whenever you cried . what if , scaramouche has that exact face right now ? why did you have to fall asleep , why why why why why , you were trying so hard not to . trying so hard to at least make up for what you've been lacking on the significant other department so why ? aren't you already aware of how much it hurts to be left because of your lacking ? have you forgotten just how much it teared you up and pulled you down ? have you ?

the idea of it happening again hurts . it does . it hurts more to think that scaramouche would be the one leaving this time . you're being such a doll he has to drag around to be of any mere presence . your lips tremble as you bite it down , you can't make noises . you can't . he'll hate it too . it'll deem you more of a nuisance than you already think you are .

"Y/n ."

you shake your head even more . you try to wipe off all the tears but they just wouldn't stop coming and dripping and going . you hear him sigh and it's almost as if , all you've been building have gone , crashing down , down to bits , along with what scaramouche have pulverized to dusts , along with the memories of that guy , and all he's done . you didn't want that to happen , that can't happen . it shouldn't .

it's all your fault .

"Y/n , stop it ." you don't , you can't . "You were tired , you needed rest ." but if you rest , then you're just adding to the pile of actions you've been doing , been neglecting him as so . "Don't cry , you're gonna complain later again how it hurt your head ." it wasn't the afternoon anymore , it was late midnight . he went ahead and gave up on getting you to look at him . you were still crying , crying so hard . you didn't cry at all having to do so much for your research and being taken advantage of again and again , having to do more than you alone can manage . yet you're breaking down now , all because you're afraid that you're losing him . he pulls you in for a hug . which you didn't have the strength to latch away from . he settles his arms on the back of your waist , and lets your head rest on where his shoulder and neck meet . you're getting his t-shirt wet .

"Are you scared ?" he asks , pulling you close when you try to pull away . you nod , answering as you sniff and hugs him back . "Don't be . I won't go ." he sounds so sure , so steeled to such statements . "I won't . I really won't . I fucking cherish you too much to leave you alone . You're already pathetic with me here , what of you when I'm not ?"

you wish he said that too , on that day when it was thundering all over the city . the you who'd be under the blankets and lulling yourself to sleep , afraid of those clapping , grating sounds , was too busy crying beside your lampstand and a handful of pills on hand . staring at the note you've already left for everyone you love to see and crying a bit more , ignoring how much you've made your lips bleed . how could he do that to you .

your mother fucking died . how can he go and lash out on you , all drunk and high , saying you're too busy to have any time for him . how could he say that , when he wasn't the one caressing your slumped shoulders as you cry aimlessly beside your mother on her deathbed . how could he , say that ? and what came over you , to blame yourself ? what ? why ? how ? it doesn't make any sense . each thought and normal prejudice and moral you own shredded on a shredder and you were too busy trying to fucking breathe from all the tears and sobbing and begging to not be left alone to try and piece any of those things whole anymore . he still left in the end .

said that he wanted to fix things , that he's been putting too much for you , that he's done everything already , that you weren't cooperating at all and that nothing would work . but you begged still , begged and begged and begged , you gripped on his pants with tears welling up your eyes saying countless sorry and multiple dont leave me , not like this . he was your first love . he , he was . maybe that's why it hurt so bad . maybe that's why you couldn't hate him . maybe that's why all spite you have that you wanted to let out , you just kept within . maybe that's why , that's why no matter how 2 years have passed its drilled in . that people come and go . no matter how harsh or gentle the parting is , it still , and always will , hurt .

that's why , you should always grip tight on anything , everything . that pain is too much after all , it's too much , it hurts , it's suffocating and infuriating and utterly , painful . you didn't want to feel that way again .

you love scaramouche .

with all your heart , you do . he came in your life around the time you have cemented yourself to live still , even by yourself . he came in your life , became the best guy there ever was , no matter how much of a dick he can sound like . he came in your life , and started slowly mending at the cracks you've got everywhere . just , what will become of you without him ?

"Y/n ." he gets you to look at him , a hand on your chin , looking at you silently . "You were tired , no ?" you hesitantly nod your head . though aware that he wouldn't leave you , you're still afraid . and you hate it that you are . shouldn't you believe in him ? shouldn't you ?

"What am I to you ?"

"My boyfriend ."

he smiles , smirks , whatever that curve on his lips is supposed to be called . pressing a kiss on your lips , you were glad your voice didn't croak . "Yeah , a boyfriend ," he coughs , "Needs to care for his girlfriend . No matter how much of a bother she can be . Which you aren't , completely . I wouldn't have agreed to be your boyfriend anyway if I didn't know what I was signing up for ." he shrugs a bit , and stares at you .

"You went through a lot ."

you nod your head .

"And to be honest , I've met that guy before and I wanted to , execute him so bad but you said you didn't want me to so I perfectly and welldone-ly preserved it in . You know how hard that is ?" you nod again . he laughs lowly before grinning up at you . "I'm not him . And I won't be like him . I'm not planning to be either ." you kiss him this time .

the tears have stopped .

he breaks off the connection and tries to speak more but you just kiss him again . "Sorry ." you say between your kisses and he just hums to your lips and deepens it more . he probably didn't want to go all out tonight , considering how tired you still look , he pushes you gently away from him . you wanted more .

"Sorry ?"

"For being such a burden to carry ."

"I don't like kissing burdens ." he smiles , beams even . you squint your eyes at this and your lips part as if to speak . he knows you wanted more of said kisses . acting as if he wanted to stand up and leave you alone on his bed on one of his shirts , you press him on the bed and glares at him , "I've long been a burden but you've always been kissing me ."

laughing a bit , he rolls his eyes . "That just means I've never seen you as a burden , just a dumbass , a needy , crybaby , dumbass ."

"You really like saying that ." you just kiss him to seal his lips itching to tease you more . "I love you , Scara ." you feel him smile as he kisses back , a lot more passionately than you did . "Hm , love you too ."

you sniff again , "Why didn't I meet you sooner ?"

"World's your number 1 hater , probably ."

"Rude ."

"Pft ."

either way , he would be cuddling up at you sometimes if you decided to study on the floor of your living room . sometimes he'd go out after you're done studying for 3 or 4 hours , bringing you back snacks and saying that he was just hungry thus why he bought them . he'd lay down on your lap and sleep too if he wants . sometimes he'd forget what he came by your side for and would twitch eye and correct your wrongs in your practiced equations ; this only ever happens with chem though .

all said this and that , it's common for him to always stick by your side whenever he can . it's weird when it's subtle and surprising when it's bold , but it's never uncomfortable .

today though , you've been studying for five hours and he still hasn't even looked at you at all . you haven't eaten lunch and he didn't ask at all when he came prancing in from wherever place he went to . just up and sat on the corner and started scrolling hours away . not being his usual glaring at you jokingly self whenever he can and trying to tick your nerves for an excuse for a fight to erupt .

"Scara !" you called out from where you were in the living room and where he is in your bedroom . "Y/n !" he shouts back and you sigh . "Can you come here ?" you ask , in a smaller tone than usual . he didn't come running as you wished , "Come here instead ! Take a break !" he shoots you with that instead . well , atleast he knew you were studying .

you shouldn't have expected that much from him anymore anyway . you left the mess of papers and walked to him , just as he says . he already has his phone at side one arm bent to the side . to open up the space in his chest all wide as he leans back on the headrest with his legs out stretched and atop one another . you just stared at him though . which he found eerie since usually you'd immediately glue yourself to him the moment he allows or initiates it .

"What's wrong ?" he asked , sounding a bit irritated , maybe it was because you left him at that position too long or it was that dead fish look in your eyes . you shrug , walking up to him and latching your arms around his waist and nuzzling up to his chest which he hums smugly at .

you didn't say anything though . he was waiting for you to ask him what he was doing , how he was doing , or that you're hungry and you missed him , if you two can take a bath together or if he can turn of the lights so you can head on to a deep slumber . nothing of the like at all . you just stayed snug against his chest and resting your eyes . "Did something happen ?" he asks again , a lot calmer this time . free hand rubbing circles at your back as if to ease the pain of having it hunched back for hours . you didn't answer . "Y/n ?"

"No . Just hungry ." there we go . he smiles a bit , relief a part and amusement the other . "I bought you what you like and I placed it on the table . Eat it ." you nod , "Eat with me ?" looking up at him like that but he was still looking at his phone . much to your heart's painful throb .

"Later at dinner . I already ate lunch with Childe and Mona earlier ." he says , still scrolling and you just look down dejected . you know how he hates eating twice the normal amount . you stopped yourself as you almost sigh . "Okay , I'll eat now ." he didn't hesitate to let you go . you almost pout and all but you'd rather not with your brain already toasted to the core .

have you been getting used to him spoiling you so much ? it's been a while since he didn't please you . even if he denies that he does them for you most of the time .

you crawled out of him and didn't spare him a look or peck him with a kiss on the cheek , or somewhere near his eye . you just up and went and even as he still scrolled , he noticed that .

after more rustling and realizing you've changed into different clothes , he wondered where you were going to go . sitting up and turning off his phone to watch you quietly grab yourcopy of keys and the bag of whatever he bought and threaten to exit the door . he asks as he stood there at the doorframe of your room , "Where are you going ?" arms crossed and eyes almost scorching your entire standing . you flash him a smile . "Out ."

"Why ?" you just look in front of where you stood , calmly looking at him with your smile never fading . "To eat ." your answers were irritatingly short , he's used to your rambling and oversharing .

"With who ?" and as he never really asks that something was different with you today . he had a feeling that you were trying to do something . it's probably not just gonna be with amber and eula today . "Lumine and Kazuha ." his tranquil gaze have already set up a hell-like blaze as you said the last name .

"Kazuha ?" he repeats , jaw clanking at the harsh way of speaking , "Mona ?" you mention , using the same tone as his .

"Y/n ." he glares at you . as your boyfriend , he never liked it when you carelessly hang out with guys that you didn't know , have a thing for you . "Mona is just a friend ." he was explaining when you didn't ask him to , you've probably heard him say that countless times too . "A friend you've been with since elementary ? A friend that became your girlfriend for two years when you were in highschool ? A friend that you've kissed more times than you did me ? If so , then Kazuha is also just a friend ."

oh , you were ready for him to glare daggers at you again . or to scold you . tell you that he hates it when you bring up things you said you were okay with . "Kazuha is in love with you , Y/n ." you turned aside , "Kazuha never said that himself ."

"Of course he wouldn't ! You're dating me right now !" he raises his voice at you . is he mad ? what face is he making right now ? he shouted loud . maybe you shouldn't have dragged it out too long . but he was pissing you off too .

"For fuck's sake , Y/n . You know very well how many times he tried to confess to you before we started dating . " he seethe a breath in . "Don't even tell me that you don't ."

he was right . out of all the guys you're acquainted with . scaramouche only ever told you to be wary with kazuha , even though his possessiveness is second to none . he also always told you before that mona is just a friend now . he said that he didn't have anything romance-sense to do with mona now . he said that , but he's always still with mona when you weren't around . but you should've trusted him . it wasn't like he would ever lie to you . he still sounded mad , grumbling even . you just stayed there staring at the floor for a while , minutes turning into ten until you gave in at the thought of him being mad at you for too long .

you slump down , a tear leaving you as your smile faded completely like clouds at overly sunny days . he sighs at the sight . "Don't start fights and be the one to release the first cry ." he walks to you and wipes at your tears as you just sniffed silently . "I'm sorry ." you mumble .

"No , it's alright ."

"It's just that , you've been on your phone the whole day . Not even asking me if I've already eaten or how was I doing . Then I hear you went out with Mona and Childe again , how could you leave me out of all the fun . I didn't , didn't want to eat alone , so I thought I could give you a taste of your own medicine and go out with Lumine and Kazuha ." you kept on trying so hard to keep the snot in as more tears started flowing . "My head hurts so bad . I know I should've just asked you why you were just on your phone but I couldn't because I didn't want to feel like I have to plead so hard for you to care for me . And now I'm crying here . What the fuck ."

he sighs again . cupping your cheeks to bring you to look at him . "You could've just told me what you fucking wanted or inched more on it like you usually do . I could've given it to you . I was busy looking at resorts we could go to after you finish your exams , dunce . Stop crying ."

you just nod , even if you were still crying . "I won't go to Mona or to Childe , or to them both without you around anymore . I wasn't ignoring you . I thought you'd like it more if I gave you some peace and quiet ." he moves away strands of your hair that kept sticking about as he then goes down for a kiss on your cheek . "Don't go digging up on history anymore ."

"Didn't know you've gotten this needy ." he teases and kisses you , real sweet . "Now , tell me the plans with Kazuha—"

"And Lumine ." he almost forgot about her , good thing you cut him off to remind him <3 . "Those plans are a joke , right ?" you shamelessly nod . "I was planning on just eating at the benches alone if you let me go . Then dump your ass and chase you out once I'm done ."

"Harsh , but that's my girl .." he kisses you one last time . "Let's eat ?"

you nod at him , "Yes please ."

A/N : this one is a lot lighter than the last , its kinda short and boring but i couldn't get it out of my mind AHAHAHA . tmr or maybe the day after that is the next one ; here with you ! a zombie au , its all clichè but dishes washing me says yes , so i shall comply to mahself <33 if ever u are one of the few but still there ; ( dream for me ) readers , if u wish to know when the next update shows up , you can follow its tag #dreamforme!scaraseries! for this short oneshots , you can follow the tag #scarashots! im kinda new with posting scara-stuff on tumblr and wow 40+ notes on treat me right ! i was too stunned to have an actual sane-like reaction , tysm !

your older brother xiao , two years ahead of you , is a member of that exact same student council , it's secretary . you really liked xiao as he pampers you a whole lot , hence why you were so pumped , finally being able to enter the top high school he went to . he's now a fourth year and you were now a second year . as you had your own bigbroxiao-priveleges , you'd always stay in the council room and would just lounge around there , for the benefits of the ac most of the time but sometimes just to read books stored there ( since the room was so spacious they had to put up so many furnitures and what are big bookshelves without books ? ) to also at times , reread lecture-time scribbled notes .

xiao wouldn't kick you out , but knowing how capable you are with things , he'd often ask for your help for some things . like rewriting reports or passing up papers needed to be checked by club advisors , and more student council things . you didn't mind , being useful to xiao is a good thing . he pampers you the more you impress him . the student council itself and the seniors there weren't all that bad anyway they welcomed you since in a sense , you were quite the useful junior . you took up any order with no complaints . you were the total opposite of your older brother xiao that loves to scowl , and your older sister hu tao that likes to rampant around .

there wasn't much to hate , you liked knowing other people , you were close with other club presidents and your classmates look up to you for being able to walk straight with those two year levels higher .

the only one that ever acted like he doesn't want you around , was the vice president of the student council , scaramouche . he seem to really hate you , no ; that's not right , you expect him to , since that seem to be his default with everyone . how he doesn't acknowledge you most of the time and makes you do things he should be doing mainly , made a part of you think , he is in pursuit of driving you out . he doesn't thank you or anything , he acts like he's your big brother , like its natural that you'd move to his orders . all those were the norm you could expect from him .

well , you didn't really care . xiao clearly expresses his displease with it though . they'd always bicker about it as you sip tea with kazuha who came to give letters from the literary club and decided to stay a bit to accompany you with some idle chatter . venti would sometimes pull you out — amidst the heated yet actually kind of calm looking argument — to have you listen to his newly composed songs so he can have the guts to release it to his members in the music club . as if he doesn't know how good of a singer he is . sometimes , even albedo of the chemistry club would be dropping by the council to ask you to accompany him during his experimenting , especially when sucrose isn't around .

at peaks of weeks where it's sure that those occurrences happen and the you that is not in any club because you are inclined and somewhat part of every club , scaramouche would pile on tremendous works for you . have you proofread so many drafts , and shits like those . xiao wouldn't have anything to do and would be so confused until he realizes what's going on . scaramouche would be sitting you on his seat , or somewhere beside it where it's totally impossible for anyone who just barged in to be able to pull you out .

when xiao comes in though , you'd be free . what's weird really is that scaramouche's behavior towards you is still mentioned to be , well . you'd often hear rumors of how he either liked you or you had a really tough blackmail on him . you don't really know . you tell xiao about it and he'd just shrug , it's because your terrifically useful , he probably liked that . well , he certainly hated those that aren't . hu tao would be the one that fills your heart with hope with those teases that go maybe he do like you ! xiao would be glaring at her for a bit then just give up and leaves , would drag you with him if he sees you blushing so hard, liiteral steam would be dragging itself out your head .

"You know , Y/n . That Scaramouche may really have a thing for you !" what a repeat . you don't even know since when you two got in the music club room and now he's saying this . you say nothing , just aimlessly smiling at the form in front of you , he's urging you to join his club again . "That'd be great ." you say . it was all his hums otherwise the silence until venti jolts up in his seat , both palms on the table and leans . "You like him ??" you sheepishly grin .

"Yeah ."

you do . scaramouche may seem like such a jerk . or that's how you have differentiated him from all else . all loud and aggressive , always shouting and never at all nice to anyone . but it wasn't a lie that he has a few exceptions for you . you didn't know if it was one of your bigbroxiao-priveleges but scaramouche is mostly decently with you . he shows that he knows what's going on for you , even if just a bit . he comments to the clubs that makes you do work you're not even supposed to do ( like he doesn't do the same ) . he also never really cussed ( harshly ) or shouted ( directly ) at you . he wouldn't say anything even if the tea you served him were two spoons sugar more than usual . he'd usually flare all annoyed with inconsistencies , but he never does with you .

maybe it is one of your bigbroxiao-priveleges .

you wouldn't dare deny how caught up you get when he's around though . his pretty eyes and how his oddly cut hair sits on the side of his perfect face . even if he looks skinny and scrawny , and his height fails him in some ways . no one would daresay they wouldn't drop on the ground with a ring for eternal inkling to prose at him . perhaps an exaggeration , seems quite near a real thing to happen though .

". . . Wow . I—Really ????? I didn't take you for one that'd fall for such a guy ." you laugh , filling up the form as you answer . venti's assumption floating mid-air , you hit it with a baseball of a fact with a bat of steel and with a clang , you say , "I did live a life with a Hu Tao and a Xiao , I don't think liking him is that weird of a feat for me ."

your cute senior was left speechless for a moment before laughing as well . you were quite the nice and pushover kind , but you still have something in common with your two siblings , even if you have no sort of blood connection , maybe it's a passed habitual thing ; you're very blunt . very . you do know when to just shut up and smile though , unlike xiao . you also know what can be offending but funny and what can be just offending but not at all funny , unlike hu tao .

"What does that mean ?" you hear xiao say between grit teeth , he appears out of nowhere sometimes . messing with the top of your hair and you leave him be . "That means , Xiao-nii is real extraordinary ." you answer still , not looking up as the smooth white paper had you stuck . you hear venti mouth a joking ow as xiao slam a pile of paperwork on his face . "What were you talking about ?" he asks again , walking to the board and writing out the lyrics of what part of some song venti was humming since early this morning .

said venti smoothen the disarray of your hair , lightly petting , twirling ends of your h/c locks and xiao ponders moreover what song it is now that he's written the lyric . "Y/n has a crush ~ !" he answers for you , you pull back your pushed air . that seem to pull your big brother out of his thinking moment and you suck in your tongue through the side of your teeth as you slowly look up from your focus on the paper . "You have a crush ?" you nod again .

he stays silent for a minute . you've never had one before . the only look in his face when you look up at him . true . liking someone romantically wasn't really the hardest thing for you to do . you just somehow had too many things going on to actually care for such affairs associating around the bare idea of it .

maybe why you were so confused first and foremost as to what actual feeling it was that you were getting t when you were starting to realize that you like scaramouche . perhaps it could be because he makes you feel special with his exceptions , or overall just his pretty face that breached at your heightened standards since your older brother and adoptive father's looks have heightened it to such precision that it became a hurdle to your love journey .

you liked pretty faces . one of the minor reasons why you liked hanging around the student council rooms and is associated with your older siblings' friends because wherever they are , pretty faces are sure to be around . however , scaramouche was the only one that you couldn't get out of your mind at all no matter how hard you tried . the hopeless case turned out to be a love-chase .

xiao is left there word-less . noncaring venti now up at you again to hurry with the form . "What is that for ?" your brother finally found it in him to ask .

"It's a form she needs to answer to be able to get the love potion thing Albedo is giving out ." venti informs and points at spots you've missed . "Love Potion ?" the same exact tone and face xiao have shown is the same as yours when venti told you about it .

"Yes ! It's rumored to do wonders ! So many couples are around now , y'know ! Do you not look at other students at all ?"

"So that's why they were all holding hands ?"

venti and xiao conversed more and you already finished with your filling of the form . slipping from the music room to the chemistry one , just a floor away . sucrose was the one who gave you the form with a thumbs up accompanied with a goodluck ! you wondered what that meant . now that you see her doing the same for other blushing , somewhat fighting the urge to turn back female students , you understood both ends .

"Oh ! You're back ? How quick ! Mr. Albedo is inside , you can go to him there . There's a line though ! Have fun ." sucrose is a very cute senior , voice melodic and sweet , the small red on her cheeks is always such a cute add to her pretty face . her habit of calling people with mr. and ms. still unmissable till this day .

you just smile and nod at her . entering the said room , albedo is indeed there , looking at the forms and seemingly interviewing said owners of said forms . "What ? That's it ? Then I'd recommend it you reconsider ." cold voice seeping thru your ears as you close your eyes to the sound of it . you knew he's a lot kinder than he sounds now .

you didn't listen that much , you were sleepy . maybe having played around with hu tao all night just because your adoptive father zhongli and xiao went out for some documents , and were out late , wasn't that good of an idea after all .

"Y/n ?" you only notice that you were next when albedo calls unto you , pretty eyes of teal up at the way you stood . you flash him a small smile , heading on to where he is and sat on the seat across him , the seat warm . "I didn't think you of all people would have one you want to use a love potion on—Oh ."

you expected him to act like how xiao did , but surprisingly , he just passes you back your form and gives you a small vial , it was but a clear substance . you suspected it to be water , you hoped for it to be pink . how stereotypical . he reads through you and chuckles lowly , "Sorry to disappoint , did you wish it to be a hue of light red instead ?"

you shake your head and grins at him , "Ah well , it being clear looks cool . You're not gonna ask me anything anymore ?" you add as you held on both the vial and your form , he looks at you , the vial and the form , before shaking his head . much lighter than you did yours . that's weird , is this also one of your bigbroxiao-priveleges ? he looked to be so stern with his earlier clients . yep , bigbroxiao-priveleges it is !

"I believe you don't even need the substance anymore , but I guess the push is what you're in actual need of , hm ."

"Ah well , good for him ." he spoke so low you didn't hear him at all , it was more of a mumble , you bet he's never been scolded by his parents with his skillful muffling . "What ?"

smiling at you , it's odd that he smiles . "Nothing , hurry along ." though before you go he hands you a survey and asks you to answer it whenever you can . you give him back his rarely ever there smile and walked out with a bow .

you had a feeling he meant more with all he's said .

in the student council room , xiao enters . the president isn't around again . he releases this loud sigh , not that anyone would reprimand him for it . the only person inside right now couldn't at all care any less . feet marching towards his desk , he have taken the wrong papers to venti . he came back to get the right ones .

upon arriving on his organized desk which he knew is your doing , he gets the pile he needed . it even had a note it's this one ! with a cute drawn jaemoticon on top of it . within the midst of your unpaid efforts , he remembers something unsettling . with a groan and a turn he calls out to the one across him .

"Scaramouche ."

"What ."

he answers quickly . xiao clicks his tongue lightly . "My little sister seem to have developed an interest on you . Romantic interest ." if you think it through , you'd say he spat the last part more harshly than he had ever reprimanded any students running around the halls . not like he ever exert any effort with doing that . he doesn't really care after all . scaramouche keeps his tongue in before pausing with his writing . "Which one ?" he raises a brow .

"Y/n ."

"Oh , Y/n ."

xiao hated how his voice somewhat softened when it delivered your name . he never thought much of it before . but now it irks him since you admitted you somewhat like this , scara-guy .

he'd like to delude himself more though .

"I know you don't like her back , she went to get some love potion from the president of the chemistry club . If you plan to reject her , do it the gentlest way possible . Don't you dare send her home crying ." it came off as a threat . xiao knew scaramouche wasn't at all threatened . well , it was worth the shot . the vice president just sat there , before rolling his eyes and scoffing out a "Whatever ."

and xiao presumed that as an okay . he has good ear-filter .

"Excuse me ." scaramouche hears you as you slide the huge door open . he doesn't make his presence known , he opts to think that you knew he'd be there that's why you went straight to making tea . "Aaah , we don't have anymore sugar ."

lies . you never let any of the supplies in the council empty . you suck at acting . you didn't even bother putting in effort to sound more dismayed . "Would it be alright to just add some honey in ? I got it from Albedo-senpai ."

"Do whatever you see fit ."

"Okaaay ."

after you were done stirring , you went straight to his desk and placed it where he wants it placed . he didn't even have to gesture it in any way for you to know . you then turn to grab your older brother's chair and bring it in front of scaramouche's desk . it's time for your daily helping . helping with whatever shit he's loaded with again .

"Rewrite this draft of letters ." he passes you some papers and he sees you reading it as you get your things ready . you don't waste time . but you still ask . "Is this for the rejection of event proposals ?" he nods , going through more of said event proposals . the clubs in this school really have a knack of having such rascals as their members . who the hell proposes a spider-eating contest ??? he had to go through so much self control to not just up and crumple every single ridiculous bullshit in forms of formal papers . fucking students , so smart yet so twisted . he sighs .

"Where did you get the tea ? It tastes different from the usual camomile one ." he immediately comments as he takes a sip , glancing at your own cup , your serving more opaque as you like it more with milk . "Xingqui gave me some earlier . Yanfei-senpai said it's really good . Is it not ?"

he sees you look up at him from your beautiful speedy writing of his messed up scribbles , he shakes his head , sipping more of the tea . "It's not bad ." you smile , somewhat relieved . "I'm glad ."

"Did you go anywhere today ?"

"I helped around the fencing club ."

"With Kaeya ?"

"Baal-sensei said they needed a bit help ."

he continues writing , "Since when were you good with fencing ?" you answer , all too quickly , "I play around with sticks a lot with Xiao-nii and Hu tao-nee when we were kids . Childe-senpai have been giving me lessons with precision and body forms whenever I visit the archery club too ." scaramouche exhales , somehow sounding more tired than you . since when was playing with sticks and forms thought and practiced in archery ever useful during fencing ? how were you able to put it to practice just to be of some use ?

"Let me guess , before going here you went and had a discussion about the law and also how fun it is to mess with people while having been treated ice cream ?"

you look up at him before laughing sheepishly ."Spot on ." you try to imitate how venti would say it and scaramouche notices the noticeable strain of your voice as you did . he crosses his arms and pushes to you , your tea . "Don't you ever get tired ?" you take account his silent ordering and took the cup in hand for a sip .

"It's impossible for one human to not feel tired ."

"Then why don't you ever say no when you get pushed around like this ?"

"Would you have found it pleasing if I were to say no to you ?"

he points at the paperworks . "I'm only making you do this so you're occupied ." his eyes probably would've scared you if he didn't know you liked it so much . judging by how many times you've praised him for it . "Weren't you only able to escape those shit since you say that you have something to do ?"

you keep your tongue tied down . "If you didn't have anything to do then you wouldn't be able to say no at all ." since you own a heart as soft as a melting butter . so easy to spread . so easy to use . so unhealthy . he grit at his teeth and those eyes of him close . he seemed mad at you , but he knew you knew he wasn't .

"I'm , sorry ."

"Don't be ."

"I just can't help it ."

"I know ."

it's not like he didn't like the way you are . so complying . never at all complaining . useful and not at all a burden . he gets why all the other people liked having you around . since you adjust to their wants , you do as you're told .

"How about I have you permanently occupied ?"

he knew you find it weird that he's putting all this effort for you . it's not like he had a reasonable reason too . it couldn't be that he's trying to repay you for all you've helped him with when there are many others that help him more than you have . he's also not at all the kind to even bother with things like repaying . complying to him is a natural thing .

"How ?" you question . he moves his body closer to the table . you didn't at all look fazed with the way he detach any sort of barricading space . "Let's date ."

you blink . "Come again ?"

he pushes back , sipping at his tea . and he sees the way your eyes brighten as he sips , so you've already put it in . he grins to himself , "Let's date . You be my girlfriend , I'll be your boyfriend ." It's visible , the way you fight back the urge to smile . your eyes open all wide .

"I-I don't get how that'd help me though ?"

"You can decline those requests so easily if you have a lover ." he shrugs , it's almost like he's fooling you . trying to make use of your situation and habits that have become a light inconvenience . "You can say that your lover is calling for you , or you need to spend time with him . You can use the concept of having a lover that way . They wouldn't even be mad since people like to overrate the idea of love ."

he wasn't planning on doing this . but with the love potion instance , he can't possibly waste such chance . "I guess ," you look down on the papers , "That makes sense ."

looking at your lightly red ears , his heart beating differently at the sight . he bit lightly at his bottom lip . he wasn't making a fool out of you . "So , deal ?" putting out his hand , you reluctantly shake it , and he can't help but smile . even with this , you still look so cute-ly willing . "Deal ." you whisper out .

he's never seen you so hesitant in doing something .

ah , it's so fucking adorable .

"Let's go out this Sunday ." seeing your eyes of e/c sparkle with gleaming whites , as you nod lowly , he feel his inner self jumping up and down at it's glimmering . his stomach turning at the sudden mental motions . or maybe it's because of the tea ? who cares . you seem to like the idea of you both going out , fuck yeah . he's being such a fool for you . pathetic .

SCARA-LiNE ! / WORK NAVi ! swag aaaa !!!