I will lay claim to only a few things in this fandom, and generally speaking I’m not that pressed about “getting credit” for particular turns of phrase. But also I will claim “Scandalore” because it’s one of the best ones I’ve ever come up with, and any time I see it out in the wild I’m always a little THAT WAS ME!!! 😡 WHILE also being flattered 😄
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We all know the hilarity of Scandalore and Coruscant Clickbait but...
Can you guys imagine an AU timeline, where all our favorites are alive and everything is good and jolly? And the paparazzi is everywhere?
Like - the Jedi Council becoming masters of decpection, because seeing a Jedi out and about on Coruscant is worth so much? (Bonus if it's one of the Skywalker's or Ahsoka Tano or Mace Windu - he never leaves the Temple).
Anakin and Obi-Wan constantly trashing each other, selling the most ridiculous stories for credits. Their respective partners spending far too much time talking to news outlets and smoothing things over?
Everyone eagerly witnesses our favorite Senator and Jedi knight with their kiddos (which must have their faces blurred out, because Padmé will not have her children's image plastered all over the Galaxy). Photos of the two kissing in public quickly become worthless because they do it so frickin often
Obi-Wan and Satine, on the other hand, rarely hold hands in public. Photos of them being within ten centimeters of each other are worth a fortune.
Quinlan often adds fuel to outrageous rumors - whilst doing some ridiculous stunt. "Yep, Anakin and Obi are in love. Master Windu is really a Sith Lord. We keep our ancient texts on Mustafar. Darth Maul is immortal. There are Force-sensitive droids. The Clones are really Jedi younglings that were never chosen as padawans."
It becomes Galatic scandal when the Jedi remove the 'ban' on marriage. Also when Korkie says casually, "Yeah, Kenobi's my dad. Next question?" Now that's a fun one to explain to the Council.
There are tours of flagships, because everyone is so curious to see the ships that helped protect so many planets during the war. There are also interviews with very uncomfortable clone troopers - though Fives loves it and trolls everyone else. (Because he didn't die :)
When Leia becomes a Senator (she represents Tatooine) everyone is appalled how much of a temper she has. She looks like Padmé, yes - but she is certainly Anakin's daughter. Every guy she dates becomes newsworthy, especially when Han Solo comes into the picture and refuses to leave.
Everyone tends to forget about Luke, though he's usually beside Anakin or Obi-Wan, quietly observing and only speaking when it is necessary. There's a video of Chancellor Mon Motha jumping and yelling at Luke, who was convinced to sneak up on her at a state dinner. No one knows who convinced him (it was Yoda).
Mara Jade and the Emporer's hand kids are eventually discovered, and it shakes the galaxy to the core. Sidious sympathizers drop significantly, escpially when Mara teams up with Luke and spreads the tales of her upbringing.
But there's a dark side too, because everyone is so intrigued by the Jedi and associates. They have virtually no privacy. So the Jedi counteract this, talking passionately about ending civil wars, tax reforms, women's/species rights, putting an end to slavery, breaking up sex trafficking. (Anakin and Aayla are the ones most passionate about the last topic, for obvious reasons. Depa, Shaak, and pretty much every female member of the Jedi Order are soon to follow.)
Tatooine is the first planet to be completely liberated.
A good chunk of Mandalorians realize they're Force Sensitive, and it's delicious irony when they come crawling to the Jedi for help.
Jedi outreach programs begin on Outer-Rim planets, providing education to those who would not have it otherwise. Former Separatist planets help with these, as they respected the Jedi and their education program (because Dooku always seemed so well-educated).
So @forcearama 's Scandalore au is beautiful and I wrote this triple Drabble set in it. Planning on more to follow. Obi-Wan awoke contentedly, lying next to his wife. She was already awake as she tended to be on the mornings he had to leave early, which was, come to think of it, practically all of them. “Good morning dear,” she mumbled contentedly as he began to get up. “Good morning. I've got to be getting back to Anakin.” Satine sighs at the reminder. “When are you going to tell him?” “Soon, soon. But he’ll tell the Council and I can’t just leave them, not in the middle of a war.” “I know, darling. I'm just so tired of this.” “Me too.” Obi-Wan left the bedroom and walked down the hall to the room Korkie stayed in when he was here. He always stayed there when Obi-Wan had come to visit. He entered the boy's room, smiling when he saw the teenager sleeping contentedly. He brushed his hand over Korkie’s hair and smiled. “Dad…” Korkie mumbled in greeting. “I have to get back to the ship, Korkie. Good morning.” “G’d morning.” And with that Korkie drifted back to sleep. Obi-Wan quietly left the home, making sure no one saw him. A few people knew the truth, over the years of keeping it secret, but he’d prefer not to be seen by anyone as he left. He made it back to the ship, and headed through the hallways. Most of the clones were asleep at this time, and besides, if he were caught it wouldn't be as bad as it would be on the planet. He could simply explain he hadn’t been able to sleep and took a walk. He didn't notice Rex shaking his head at how obvious the general was being. But Rex wouldn't tell. General Kenobi was one of his generals, and he wouldn't ruin his life for him.
imagine a Clone Wars episode/arc where a criminal is hired to dig up dirt (real or imagined) on the Jedi so they're expelled or fall out of favor with the Chancellor or something but like the investigator/criminal gets inVeStEd "what do you MEAN Windu has never taken a day?? in his Jedi career?? someone teach this man SELF CARE" "what do you MEAN General Kenobi would have left the order for Satine Kryze??? and they haven't seen each other in over seven months?? do I NEED to wreak havoc on Mandalore so you can get thee to her, ginger-in-chief?" "what do you MEAN Yoda's apprentice fell to the dark side? what absolute madman does that to a liddle green bloke?" "I have a bad feeling about exposing any of General Skywalker's private life... as in... imperially bad feeling... I think he needs some blankets and maybe calming herbal teas" "boss I'm sorry Commander Tano has done nothing wrong in her life ever"
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So, I’ve been seeing an AU called Scandalore started by @forcearama play out on my dashboard all day long and I must say, I LOVE EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF IT. I love Obitine and so I love this AU to bits. Throughout this whole thing, I’ve been wondering things such as, how much does Korkie knows? Not to mention the implications of Anakin meeting Satine at an earlier age. Did he constantly tease Obiwan about her? Or what about the Mandalore arc in this AU? Perhaps not only was Satine frustrated with the clone wars but the fact her HUSBAND was participating in it, making the fight between the two much more of a big deal. But did I write about any of the above? NOPE. Here, have 1.4k of how these two ended up secretly wed in the first place.
When Satine starts throwing up in the morning, she dismisses it as her illness of the month. Satine has never been the peak of Mandalorian health. Her immune system has always taken harder hits than most, and it is one of the many reasons her opponents have used against her ascend to leader of the houses.
But it goes longer than it should, and when she is finally persuaded to see a medical droid, it appears to be something far more drastic.
“You are pregnant.” The droid announced stoically.
“Pregnant?” Satine’s heart starts beating wildly.
The medical droid starts rattling on about the medical definition of being pregnant but the duchess tunes him out. She can’t be pregnant. Not right now. She has just reached a tentative peace among all of Mandalore–she knows there is still pockets of groups who are waiting for any first sign of weakness. A child with a Jedi father would cause a massive scandal. Many willingly overlooked her Jedi protectors, but none would be willing to overlook the fact she conceived a child with one of them. Mandalore’s hatred for Jedi still ran strong in some houses.
She knows what she must do. She must sacrifice the child for the sake of peace. She knows this, and yet her mind can’t help traveling back to Obiwan. She remembers the time he played with some children in a village they spent a few days in. How his eyes gleamed as he patiently answered each one of their numerous questions. He would be a great father, she knows it.
She thinks long and hard about the issue, before coming to a conclusion.
Drawing a deep breath, she wipes the medical droid’s memory before dismissing it from the room. She then reaches for her comm and clicks on the senior padawan’s contact.
“Sa-satine?” He asks, a bit surprised. He hadn’t expected her to contact him after the dust had settled and she retained her status as rightful Duchess of Mandalore.
She seemed adamant in the two ceasing contact with one another. It was perhaps for the best, as painful as it was for him. She was a duchess and he a Jedi. Both had duties to uphold, and had no time for attachments to distract them from their goals.
“Satine, are you alright?” He questions after she doesn’t respond the first time.
On the outside, she looked relatively fine. No one except her closest confidants would notice her that her hairpiece was slightly crooked and the vacant stare in her eyes.
“Obiwan, how I wish you were by my side,” Her voice cracked, but she continued on, “Something unexpected has come up, and I am unsure how to proceed.”
“What is it?” He asked, growing increasingly worried, “Are you being threatened again? I’m sure the Republic wouldn’t mind–”
“It’s not like that,” She interrupts, shaking her head, “It’s a completely different it’s–I’m pregnant, Obiwan.”
Oh. OH.
“with my child?” He asks weakly, collapsing onto his chair in a startled heap.
“Of course, your child, Obiwan Kenobi,” She says in a scandalized tone, but she smiles gently despite it.
His emotions are set ablaze and he does his best to calm himself. He can sense Qui Gon’s confusion across their training bond and attempts to briefly reassure him before turning his attention upon Satine once more.
“What do you plan to do?” He asks softly.
“I can’t have a child,” Satine confesses, “I shouldn’t. It’s something that my opponents would use against me–”
“I understand.” He quickly says, lowering his head, “Jedi are pledged to protect all lives, no matter how small. But I understand if–”
“You don’t understand,” She cuts in, “I shouldn’t have a child and yet–I cannot bring myself to terminate my pregnancy in order to buy peace. I cannot. I will hide my pregnancy from public’s eyes if I must. But Obiwan…”
Her voice halts sharply as she lets her guard down for a moment and gazes at him. She is sharp and strict and fierce but she is so much more than that. She is kind and patient and selfless. Obiwan doesn’t know a lot about mothers, but he senses she would make a fine one.
“I understand you are a Jedi, that your duties lie elsewhere. I respect whatever decision you make,” Her eyes fall away from his face, unwilling to make eye contact, “I–I don’t know quite know how to say it but I have loved you from the moment you came to my aid a year ago on Kalevala.”
“Satine,” He reaches out, wishing desperately to caress her cheek, “You–you know I feel the same. Had you asked me earlier to leave the Jedi Order, I would have right and then there.”
A smile emerges onto her face as something runs down her cheek. A tear, he realizes. “Do you still feel the same?” She asks.
“I do.” He bows her head, “I hope you would still have me, Duchess.”
He takes her relieved laughter as a sign of acceptance.
He doesn’t resign from the Jedi Order right then and there, as promised. Tensions in Mandalore are still running high and he reluctantly agrees with Satine to wait a little longer until it cools down. Still the two are secretly wedded. It is a very private wedding, held within the House of Kyrze.
Jedi, of course, don’t have any wedding traditions so they follow the traditions of the Mandalores. She explains that their wedding is not unusual by normal Mandalore standards. Weddings are often simple functions attended by only the Houses of the two parties involved. It is only in ruling houses such as Kyrze that weddings tend to be more extravagant.
“It is…not uncommon for two ruling houses to arrange a marriage to keep the peace between them.” She explains, “My parents were an arranged marriage.”
Qui Gon never questions Obiwan when he returns to the Temple late from a solo mission. He wonders if his master knows, but if he does, he keeps silent on the matter. Qui Gon had given him the usual lecture of attachments when he noticed him growing close with Satine but had otherwise kept his mouth shut.
He slowly works up the courage to tell Qui Gon, but by the time he’s ready, it’s already too late.
He calls Satine, late in the night, after he safely made sure Anakin is tucked into bed. The two are given private quarters in the Theed palace and he is currently hiding in the room’s closet. His eyes are bloodshot and his hair disheveled as he tries to slow his breathing.
The hologram flickers, as Satine comes into view. She’s dressed in one of her court outfits, which meant he probably disrupted a meeting of some sort.
“Hello Satine,” He smiles weakly, “I’m sorry for disturbing you.”
“Obiwan, what’s happened?” She asks, her eyes seized with worry.
At the sound of her voice, he breaks down crying and it takes him a moment to regain his composure enough to tell her. He tells her everything, from the start of the crisis, to hiding out in Tatooine and to facing the sith lord on Naboo.
“I–I made a promise to him before he died,” Obiwan’s voice trembled, “That I would train the boy–Anakin. The Council is inducting him into the Order and is willing to let me train him, Satine.”
Obiwan’s eyes skirts around her gaze as he whispers quietly, “I understand Satine, if you wish to dissolve our union.”
He almost wants her to. She doesn’t deserve to keep their marriage secret for whatever amount of years it takes to train Anakin up. It has only been one year, and yet he can see the strain the secrecy places on their marriage. Rarely can they see one another face to face, let alone comm each other.
Obiwan is stretched thin between his alliances and one will collapse sooner than later.
“Obiwan, look at me,” Satine asks–no–demands and he looks up to her regal features.
Even with the blueish hue of the holo, her beauty shines through.
“On Mandalore, we treat vows with the utmost respect,” She says sternly, “If you made a vow to your master, Obi, then I will not stand in your way. But know you still have a vow to me, and I am waiting for you to fulfill it one day.”
