#sayaashrah

To celebrate the occasion, I wrote The Sky Belong to Us, a little Ashtara fluffy short story—including a picnic and Nitara singing 🥰

If you'd like to read it, you can find it here!

When I started developing my mythology for my Ashrah, Indonesia played a significant part from the very beginning: though I wasn't yet sure how or why she would have a human-like appearance apart from her demonic appearance (which I also had no idea what would look like yet), I knew that her human appearance had to be Indonesian (and, perhaps subconsciously, I knew her skin had to be brown as well, a choice I was so fortunate in making and made me emotional when, later, an Indonesian friend praised it for the cultural value it brought to the character and the story; but that's another topic). And with this, I also started reading more about Indonesian myths and folklore, a subject I love.

And that's when I came upon Barong and Rangda and the vital concept of Rwa Bhineda.

Barong and Rangda are two incredibly popular figures in Balinese folklore, and they represent an eternal dance between good and evil.

Barong (the one on the right in the picture above) is a lion-like figure (or other animals such as a panther or a dragon, depending on the local culture and the performance) and, more than a simple character, he represents dharma and thus goodness, virtue, order, light, and protection, a role that he embodies as the King of Spirits.

The other participant of this dance is Rangda, who represents adharma: evil, destruction, darkness, death, vice; a witch who commands dark spirits and can unleash diseases and afflictions. Yet Rangda is not only feared but also respected and revered.

Because here comes the beauty of it: the dance between Barong and Rangda is eternal because neither good nor evil ever wins. They're not opposite forces; they're not there to destroy or nullify one another. They represent a sacred, entrancing spectacle of harmony, of cycles, because it is only through the balance between good and evil that existence becomes possible. Darkness doesn't exist without light. Vice and virtue are two sides of the same coin. Death only exists because of life.

That is Rwa Bhineda.

And that is the core of Ashrah's character.

In her story, Ashrah believes in "purification": in killing so many creatures ("evil creatures," but then again, what does that mean?) that her soul will be cleansed of its darkness, of its demonic nature, and she will be pure light, finally achieving her highest value, freedom.

But freedom doesn't come from one side emerging victorious. Freedom comes from embracing duality. What makes Ashrah so fascinating, such a complex and multilayered character, is the struggle between vice and virtue, darkness and light, order and chaos, life and death, until these opposite forces find balance within her. But again, for this, there must be a struggle. There must be suffering and mistakes, because only then can one truly learn. Only then can one learn to love who they are and become what they must be.

Barong's and Rangda's Influence On Her Design

I love this dance and the concept of Rwa Bhineda so much that both these characters are part of Ashrah's design.

First, Rangda: she was a huge inspiration in the appearance of the elbhyr [ele-RUIR], which is Ashrah's demonic race and how she looks in her natural demonic form:

The tusks and the massive hair are such awesome elements, and they fit very well into the elbhyr as Demons of Pride: you may think their hair is ugly or even grotesque, but for them, it's a great source of pride.

Second, the Barong. After Ashrah lands in Earthrealm (slightly spoilers for Hymn of Freedom, Book 2 in the Eternal Flame trilogy) and begins her training in Baguazhang, meditation, and spirituality (in balance!) with Master Shujinko, it's there in Bali where she herself watches this spectacle of the Barong and the Rangda. She feels a connection with Barong, and so she incorporates its face into the new outfit she chooses for herself with the help of her master and locals:

In these, we can see the Barong in her pauldrons and the buckle! And did you notice that she's also wearing some purple in her new outfit? That's the beginning of her balance, of her accepting her in her full self, including her demonic nature because, while she's not fully ready to admit it yet, she knows she cannot exist without her soul as it is—as perfect as it is!

And, of course, it is worth mentioning that the Barong and Rangda performance also features a third and incredibly important character to Ashrah's story: a keris dagger. Yes, Datusha whom you can also see in the drawings above) :) But that's also a topic for another day, as our favourite sapient, snarky sword deserves a post all by itself and then some!

If you want to read more about the Barong and Rangda dance, check out this link and this link! And this is a blog on Rwa Bhineda. You can also watch the dance on YouTube!

A question yesterday on Bluesky asked about what are your character's core, what is or are the things that must remain the same in every AU; the things you wouldn't allow to change in an adaptation. And I thought I'd transcribe here my answer for Ashrah [friendly reminder that her name is pronounced ah-sh-RAH, with a strong rolled "r"].

Fierceness

First of all, Ashrah is a fierce warrior who's not only excellent at fighting but who also enjoys the art of combat! This might not seem too important at first, but it is: she is excellent at fighting, she's brutal, she enjoys it, and it's through this nature of hers that she fights so relentlessly, so passionately for her freedom, which is another imperative: freedom MUST be the core ideal of her character. Some AUs might extend this to the freedom of others, too, make her less self-centred, that would be fine, but HER freedom must come first.

Of course, once she learns about love and develops relationships with people she cares about, this fierceness also extends to them! But to them, and not to strangers!

Balance

NOT her purification. Her purification should NEVER be the true end goal, but what leads her to understand what true freedom means and embrace her duality, embrace her balance, embrace her full self: darkness and light, vice and virtue, demon and mortal.

But she MUST suffer to get there. She must make mistakes, she must kill those she shouldn't kill, she must get close to the edge of losing herself, she must feel like she betrayed herself, because only then do we truly feel the weight of her obsession and her ignorance and her pride.

And yes, Datusha, her sapient sword, has to be a vital character in her story. Indeed, THE most vital character. If you take Datusha and what it represents away, you take away part of her obsession, and that can't happen.

Self-Love

Love must be a core theme of her character, but romance must NOT be the main love. That must be self-love. Once she gets there, once she unlocks this understanding about herself, then possibilities open up.

Also, her mortal form must be Asian or Asian-inspired. Get the fuck out of here with bland white people.

"I Am Always Serious"

Yes, she's a serious gal! Indeed, she doesn't understand figures of speech and has a... shallow sense of humour 😅 That also relates to her autism, which yes, is something that should be consistent, even if her traits can change from story to story.

Curiosity

Curiosity is one of Ashrah's most endearing traits... but also one of the most dangerous ones. This curiosity is detached to any sense of morality: she may save someone if that leads her to solving a mystery, but she might also condemn entire regions, without even realising what she's doing, by following her curious mind.

Because of this curiosity, she's very intelligent... if she allows herself to learn instead of being blinded by her arrogance... and seeks to learn more. This, for example, leads her to learning to play the erhu and becoming a great cook!

Honour

Both inside and outside the battlefield, honour is incredibly important for Ashrah. She would never kill someone in their sleep, for example, but would rather wake them up so they could have an honourable fight.

This also ties into how she doesn't lie and has near-zero deception skills.

Morally Grey

Ashrah is no hero. She's no villain, either. She's far more complex than any of that, even though friends and foes might try to fit her into a box. This ties in to her quest for personal freedom, to her curiosity—it all comes back to her morally complex nature!

However, here's a crucial point: Ashrah is never cruel for the sake of being cruel. She will be brutal and vicious if she must (and, indeed, in battle, she often is), but that will have a purpose behind it rather than pure wickedness.

And this is a small celebration of my Ashrah—as special, badass, complex, unique, and amazing as she is 🥰💜

On this Ace Day, I wanted to take the chance to yap (once again) about my beloved trans, asexual demon warrior, Ashrah [ah-sh-RAH] 💜

Funny enough, I never planned for her to be asexual. That was totally her! One day, while I was working on her biography, she tapped my shoulder and told me she was asexual, and I embraced it!

Asexuality, of course, isn't the exact same for everyone, so what does being asexual mean for Ashrah?

First, it's important to note that she had no idea what sex even was for most of her life (she's 16.203 Common years old). The majority of demons, including her race, the elbhyr [ele-ruir], are genderless and have no sexual organs. When Ashrah wove her second skin, she did it without knowing what gender was or what those "extra bits" that came with her new skin meant.

She eventually learns after she leaves the Netherrealm and all, but unlike other things she comes to learn (such as kissing 🤭), sex isn't something that attracted her curiosity and desire to experiment with. Not at first.

In the second book of Eternal Night (which is like, Book 5 of Chronicles of the Realms), I do plan to have a love scene between her and Nitara, which would then assert her opinion on the matter: she's not repulsed by sex and does enjoy making love with her wife now and then. However, she enjoys it because of the intimacy and the affection between them, and not because of the act itself, which she doesn't really care about. She doesn't read about it (unlike Nitara, who loves her smut 😂), watch it (and indeed doesn't like when such scenes appear in her stories), and doesn't feel the need for it. If not for this connection with Nitara, she could easily not ever think about it again.

And that's a little about my precious asexual demon 💜

“SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!” “MAKE ME!” Nitara could’ve blamed her surprise at the absolute audacity of that ignorant demon for yelling at her; she could’ve blamed her mounting exhaustion and frustration as the Abyss leeched her soul. She could’ve blamed a lot of different things, but the fact was: she did it. She shut the demon up. She lunged so abruptly that Ashrah couldn’t react before Nitara’s lips crashed against hers. They stared at each other, wide-eyed, Nitara’s inner and wise voice yelling at her. But instead of pulling away as she should’ve done, she pressed harder, pinning Ashrah against the mountain, and captured her bottom lip between hers, sucked on it, dragged her teeth— Reason poured over her like a shower of frigid water, and Nitara broke away with an echoing cry of, “FUCK!”

Today, on BlueSky, the Pretend Panel had an interesting question: "What was your creative process when designing your story's main character?"

For the fun of it, I wanted to post my answer here as well:

Ashrah had been living in my head for many, many years before I created Chronicles of the Realms (I did write stories about MK Ashrah as well, and the "core" of the character was always there—I do have a post about Ashrah's core traits linked in my pinned post, if anyone wants to have a look), so parts of what she was already existed. But many other parts didn't, many of those that contributed to making her mine.

The very first thing I sat down to design was her demonic nature. What race did she belong to? What strengths and weaknesses came with this race? What does this say about her as a character? Because I didn't want her demonic race to be merely aesthetic; no, it had to be an integral part of who she is.

"Pride" was the keyword for me. I knew her race had to be related to pride and arrogance and hubris, and that's where the purple first came in, as a colour that symbolises pride (and then later also comes to symbolise balance, as Jinsei/life and Nether/death energies are shown as blue and red in the mythology).

Then came another very important question: "How does Ashrah have a human appearance?" Shape-shifting was an easy way to go about it, but I didn't like it. It didn't feel special enough. And so, reading things here and there and joining with stuff I already enjoyed, I ended up with the Mystic Arts aka spiritual magic, and how elbhyr the name of Ashrah's race (pronounced [ele-RUIR], with a strong rolled "r" and an almost inaudible "i"), have this natural connection to the spiritual realm by virtue of being conceived and born in it.

And then came the second skin and all that.

Another point I had in mind: Indonesia. Back then, I had already found Ika Rovika as my real-life muse for Ashrah, and I wanted to go deeper there. I wanted to make Indonesia a part of her story, a part of her, and I could do that thanks to the Mystic Arts and Ashrah's ability to astral travel, which allowed her to come into contact with Indonesia thousands of years before she even left the Netherrealm (thousands of years before these women would even be born, as time is pretty much moot in the Astral Plane), which inspired her to weave her second skin and her clothes the way that she did, based on them.

One last thing that was instrumental in designing this character: self-love. I always knew that Ashrah's "purification" is a lie, a "false quest" to guide her towards her true goal, which is embracing her duality, her balance (I also have a post talking more about it and how Barong and Rangda, an Indonesian myth, inspired me even more in this regard).

Everything else—her personality, her relationships, her story—was built off that. And I learnt so much about her and about myself while developing Ashrah 💜