New year's day was alright. Woke up without a hangover, which was nice, went to work which was NOT nice >:( That creepy guy came back, but my boss was on the floor with me this time, so he didn't stay too long. I should be worried at this point, but with the people I have to worry about every day OTHER than him, I barely have the energy to care. LOL!
What I really want to talk about today is the fight I had with my mom... I visited my family's house to pick up some things I left there on Christmas. Everyone was out of the house except my parents, and I intended to just stop by, say hi, pick up my stuff, a normal visit, you know??? Well because it's my parents' house, it couldn't be normal like I wanted.
My mom basically cornered my and asked me if I was still going through "that phase" of my life or something, then asked me if I was going to "change for the new year." ugh. I tried to tell her that I had a whole list of resolutions, but she told me that's not what she means, and that I know what she means. I guess I do, but I don't really get why she cares about my life! Like, I'm moved out, I'm going to college, I have a job, what else does she want from me?? All because I want to dress and be looked at a certain way? I think I've been a pretty model child, all things considered. I just hate it when my parents try to focus on the one 'off' thing about their kid and make that the biggest issue, like I'm going to go off and overdose or something. UGH!!!!
Then my dad got all pissy with me too, and started telling me I'm 'headed down a dark path' and that if I don't fix my shit or whatever, I'm going to grow up to be a prostitute or something??? He yelled some other stuff, but at that point I was already out the door and driving away.
I'm still reeling from that argument to be honest. If I can be vulnerable for a second, I feel like the longer I DON'T get into an argument with my parents, the harder it is to handle it when I do. Is everyone's family like this? Because it always seems like everyone around me is having a much easier time with theirs than I am. Whatever, I'll be done being emo now. I just wanted to get that off my chest.
In other news, I've been writing this short story lately called The Great Awakening!
It's about a man spending seven days in a haunted house with the promise of his greatest wish once he finishes the seventh day. I kind of gave up on Stapled Shut, since I didn't feel like I could go anywhere interesting with it. One thing I've been learning in class is that sometimes it's better to just let go of some ideas and play the game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game pla
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There is a feeling I get sometimes. A feeling that wriggles beneath my skin like millions of microscopic red worms shaped like veins as they pump their parasitic venom through my body and force it to go on. They tell me they care for me, the worms, but I don't think they ever show it.
On bad days, this feeling is all-encompassing, full-bodied, and tiresome. On bad days, my brain ceases its functions and I think the worms can tell, because on days like these, they flood their venom across my arms, legs, and fingertips until I feel bloated, overfull, to the point of bursting. My muscles feel like they're covered in fiberglass, rubbing against the inside of my dermis and each other when they move just the right way. It itches, no matter how much I scratch.
On really bad days, the worms revolt and dry up, clot themselves at my joints and hide within my bone marrow. On these days I want to rip parts of my body off. Scalpel. Sharp nails. Teeth. Anything to bring them back out. These days last the longest.
They tell me they care for me, the worms, but I don't think they ever show it.
Merry Christmas!!! I know I said I would update this blog if I ever survived (LOL), but things really got so so SO busy that I had no time to update! Now you know I’m okay :)
Christmas was good for me! I rarely get any breaks off work so this holiday felt particularly special. I got a neon sign I can put in my window, some new books I wanted, and a CD that was so rare I couldn’t even find it at the music store!! A good year all around! My brother was being nice for once too, so that is always a pleasant surprise.
I haven’t seen that creepy guy since then. Then again, there’s a chance he was still around but I was too busy to pay attention. I’m glad the holidays are mostly over, I was feeling myself get pretty crazy for a minute there!!
Oh, also! I have been trying to draw again, which is something I haven’t done in years!! Want to see one of them? No?? Well too bad!!! Here’s a picture of a monster I saw in a dream yesterday night. Let me know what you think!!
Well, that’s all I wanted to share for now. I think I’ll go take a nap and enjoy my time off. Bye for now!!!
Class was so boring today -_- I only have one class on Wednesdays (Math and Personal Finance) and no one in it seems like they're happy to be there, not even the teacher! For once I was excited to get our so I could head to work and maybe something interesting could happen >:(
Work today was annoying, but at least it was more interesting than class. The closer to Christmas we get, the more busy we are, right up until the new year. I'm just excited to be over and done with everything so I can have a clean slate for the new year! I've already started working on my resolutions:
Go to Monterey Bay Aquarium
Be less judgmental!!
Try to make more friends
Learn a new instrument
Learn to program so I can add more cool stuff to my site! <<<
That's all I've been able to come up with so far, but I'm sure I could make a whole page if I wanted to! Anyway, I just got home - I haven't even changed into my pajamas yet! I'll probably play some video games and head straight to bed. Today was SO stressful. Bye for now!
Still nothing in the mail! I hope I didn't get scammed.... T-T Nothing interesting has happened this past week, except for one thing I thought I'd share. I was walking downtown looking to kill time between classes, when who of all people do I run into but creepy guy!!! He stopped me in the middle of the street (I guess he recognizes me now... SHEESH!!) and started ranting at me about random stuff about the government and the CIA.. Typical crazy guy stuff o.O Though he did say one thing that made me pause a little: "Did you get the tape I sent you?" He asked it like he was excited to hear my response. I told him I don't have any money and rushed away as fast as I could without running. I have GOT to get a new job!!!!!
Usually this kind of stuff doesn't really get to me. I live in a fairly urban area, so stuff like this happens sometimes and generally I can brush it off and get on with my day pretty easily. This time though.... I can't get over the tape thing!! I just felt a little too personal...
I've got two months left on the least at the apartment. I think when it's up I'm going to find a new place a little further away from downtown. It sucks because I really like this place!! But my safety is more important I guess.
I'll keep an eye on the mail, and maybe see if I can go to a friend's house or something and play the tape on their TV. This whole thing is starting to get to me... Updates will come if and when I receive them, bye for now!!
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Long time no see!! (^-^) Life has once again gotten in the way of cyberspace, and I soooort offf forgot about this blog :P Anyway, some updates!!
First off, I ordered a new remote for the TV, and I'm just waiting for that to come in!! Hopefully I got the right one and I didn't waste $15 of my own money on a scam or something. Only time will tell, the wonders of online shopping!! I've been having these really weird dreams about the thing lately, so hopefully being able to actually work it will get this TV out of my mind for good.
Secondly, I found another tape! This one thankfully wasn't mailed to me. I found it behind the counter at work! I asked everyone working that day if it was theirs, and no one knew where it came from, so I decided to take it home and see what's on it. I've heard stories about people finding random VHS tapes ad playing them only to find some freaky snuff shit, so hopefully I don't see a murder or anything o.O
Haven't seen creepy guy around lately, usually I'll at least see him in the area asking for bus money or something, but nothing. I hope he's not dead or something...
That's all I really have for now. Oh! Except, I've been working on a new story!! It's called The Five Lessons, and it's about a person going through initiation to be part of a neon party-cult, plus some other stuff ;) You can read it here, and let me know what you think!! I've been experimenting with tags too recently, so if I see you here randomly, hello!!
I'll make an update as soon as the remote comes in as well, rest assured my devout followers!! Bye for now :)
Work was nice, no weird guy today, though I am sort of constantly looking around for him just in case :/ No class today, so I was able to rest up a little Bit after the holidays. I LOve this time Of year, but my Depression hates it!!!
That’s aLl well and good, bUt I know why you all are REALLY here - for the package! I won’t lie, it took me moST of the day to work up the courage to finally open it up (I only just did right before writing this entry, and my suspicions were correct. It IS a TV!! It’s bigger than the one I already have, which is nice, but it didn’t come with a remote, so I can’t change the channel from static. The only things it DID come with were the hookups for it and this weird unmarked VHS tape, that I’m also scared to play. Not that I would be able to see what’s on it without a remote that is. I’m thinking of picking one up with my next paycheck so I can at least use the thing for other tapes. It was a little creepy finding something like this just sitting at my front door, but hey, new TV - I guess I can’t complain too much.
That’s all I wanted to bring up for today! I’m practically dead on my feet right now, so after I shower I’ll probably pass out as soon as my head hits the pillow.
Sorry for that weird glitch in the last entry!! I swear I wrote different stuff down, but I guess my computer glitched or something, idk. Whatever I was writing wasn't important anyway :3
Anyway, back to business! Something weird happened to me today. I was leaving for work when I walked into a GIANT box on my front porch, like, TV sized O.o It was HEAVY when I brought it in as well!!! The package also didn't have a stamp or a return address or anything on it, so I have no idea where it came from. I haven't opened it yet since I was already running late for work. Now that I'm home though, I'm kind of scared to open it! What if it's a giant bomb or something?? I can't think of anyone who would send me something like this. If anyone knows how to potentially defuse giant TV-sized bombs, please PM me before my curiosity gets the best of me!!!
In the meantime I'm going to listen to some music and try to calm my nerves before bed. If I have been reduced to a skeleton and my home to ashes in the night, I shall update you all. By for now!
