#samira study.

RUPERT.

animal: cartoon wolf ( @gordiacea made this observation first)

colour: true tory blue

month: june

song: something by morrissey

number: 11, 21, or 17

day or night: day. he is constantly outside

plant: omg i dont know but he's kind of a farmer sometimes. some barley

smell: woody, woodsy. man smell. typical man smell who wants to smell good. never too much cologne, but he is pretty consistent about it.

season: spring!

element: i dont know. earth

drink: red wine

SAMIRA.

animal: deer. she is pretty famously bambi if bambi had avoidant attachment

colour: jewel tones

month: i dont know. not july that's for sure

song: something by sza

number: 4

day or night: night ;)

plant: a beautiful fern

smell: girl deodorant. she's frickin busy!

season: spring

element: water!!!!!!

drink: a sensible probiotic soda

🎉 : do they enjoy social events, or endure them? (samira)

🌊 : what emotion do they drown in when they're alone? (beck)

☕ : what's their morning ritual, and what happens when it's disrupted? (spirit)

📺 : what do they put on when they don't want to think?

PYOTR. american idol. canadian idol as well. primarily american idol though

🎉 : do they enjoy social events, or endure them?

SAMIRA. endure! endure endure endure. in big crowds, she can suddenly seem very reticent and isolated even though she is a decent public speaker with a reasonable amount of confidence. easily overstimulated by sensory perceptions beyond the usual ED nonsense.

🌊 : what emotion do they drown in when they're alone?

BECK. guilt. he killed a handful of coeus employees during the escape. a pittance compared to burns' and harris' body count. all the same, beck loathes himself for causing this harm—and struggles to accept that he still has more harm he wants to cause and can cause.

☕ : what's their morning ritual, and what happens when it's disrupted?

📉 : what's their most common self-criticism?

For Margot, Spirit and Samira

🕳️ : what do they spiral about at night?

MARGOT.

margot usually sleeps very soundly. she'll have some nights where mania or anxiety get the best of her. compulsive thoughts, etc. usually, they revolve around her fears of The Organization. occasionally, she does fixate over her behavior during a kill or preparing a body to be found by law enforcement/investigators. retracing her steps, wondering if her hair was pulled back tightly enough, etc. things like this keep her careful and cautious.

she occasionally replays chess matches in her head, but if she gets started on that, she'll probably get out of bed and start a match either with her board at home or on the app.

SPIRIT.

regular cokehead stuff. the voices in her head. her pounding heartbeat. how many more minutes or hours before she hears the birds chirping and the city come back to life.

SAMIRA.

whether she exercised her duty of care to the fullest extent possible. if she misspoke on the phone with her mother. why her mother was so dismissive on the phone or, alternatively, so demanding or overbearing, depending on the evening.

📉 : what's their most common self-criticism?

MARGOT.

rarely engages in this habit. highly egotistical. occasionally berates herself for reckless impulsivity—but then reminds herself of all the times she's exercised remarkable self control. there's all the killing and high sex drive and stuff, but still.

SPIRIT.

it's not a specific criticism and more like an over-broad sense of her inherent evil and incapability to be redeemed or saved or rehabilitated.

SAMIRA.

🫀 : what emotion scares them the most?

CAIN.

lust? the impulse to behave manipulatively or selfishly? excessive indulgence? though when it comes to indulgence/gluttony, he is less scared and more openly dismissive and judgmental.

JUNIPER.

juniper is scared of any and all intense emotional displays. she does very well with calm and rational people. charisma goes far too. that aside, she is particularly frightened of other people's fear because she is of the mind that being a scared little boy motivates harris to behave the way he does and his survival instincts are easily triggered.

SAMIRA.

anger! her own anger. there's a scene in s1 where samira gets very stern and angry with a patient bc he is refusing to acknowledge he is addicted to pillz and may die quite soon with little to no regard for his family. i think this scene shows samira's propensity for self-righteousness and also that she isnt as over the death of her father as she later tries to say (which is pretty obvious bc she is constantly suppressing her emotions until she crashes and burns). anyway i also think samira is afraid to acknowledge her resentment of the healthcare system she now works within and wants to reform.

even in s2 by the end of everything she goes through, she's just exhausted. not quite resigned, but worn the fuck out. sitting with anger is hard for her.

AOIFE.

aoife is not scared of anything except for maybe some rats.