13. Wax
We shall die apart, shall we not? That is what you wanted!
For @sea-wolf-coast-to-coastโs FFXIVWrite 2019. [Title] [AO3 mirror]
The moon was a sliver of gold in the skyโbarely a slip of a thing, but it had been entirely dark the night before. Odette groped in her sleep-addled mind for the phrase, and could not conjure it. She cast her gaze from the window on the far side of the room. This was not her bedroom, and it was only as she rolled over that she remembered why that would be. The pain lancing up her side told her that sheโd probably popped a stitch or two, and she bit back a whimpering cry.
Someone stirred beside her, and a moment later Coletteโs voice came in the dark. โIs everything alright?โ โFine,โ Odette said through her pain-strangled throat. โWhatโs it called when the moonโs getting bigger?โ โWaxing phase,โ Colette mumbled. She lifted her head. โWhy are you asking me astrology questions at this hour?โ โI donโt know,โ Odette admitted. She squinted into the dark to find her twin laid out on a little cot beside her. โWhy are you sleeping in here?โ โGrandpere said you fell on your walk today, and Maman was being just awful. She said you came in crying and went straightaway to bed by afternoon. Did you hurt yourself?โ Odette sighed. โSome,โ she admitted. โI took some medicine to make me sleep, but now Iโm awake.โ
They laid there in parallel as they had done when they were girls, and sometime more recently when they were adventurers, alone in the world together. Odette willed her breathing to become deep and even, the patterns of sleep, but she could not force herself to match it.
โColette,โ she said. โI ruined his life, Colette.โ She laid there, staring at the waxing crescent of the moon, golden as a knightโs eyes, and as distant. There was no answer to her statement, so she posed a question instead. โWhy?โ
Colette had no answer, and gave none. The only sound in the room was the rustle of cloth, and then her twin settled in the bed beside her, scrunched up next to the bed. She lifted one handโblessedly coolโto Odetteโs forehead, and simply let it rest against the skin a few moments before moving on to brush back Odetteโs unbound hair.
โWhy am I still thinking about it,โ Odette said, a growl of frustration in her voice. She closed her eyes, as though that would be sufficient to block out the sight before her, but there was no real shutter against memory. โIs it worse that I donโt think I should be?โ โBecause,โ Colette said, gently stroking her cheek, โyou want to make yourself feel worse about it.โ โI saw him today.โ โThen of course youโre still thinking about it!โ Odette sighed. โHe hates me.โ โMaybe so,โ Colette murmured, โbut if we would die from lack of love we should have perished long since. Both of us.โ Odette only hummed noncommittally in reply. โLeave such sorrows to the moon,โ Colette said. โShe will be up all night anyway, but you need your rest.โ Odette reached out to wrap an arm around her sisterโs shoulders, and tried to do as she bid.
