#sam egan

Buck & Maddie canon divergent backstory re-write, prompted by @unfuckablebogtroll: the Buckley siblings are cult survivors

Author Tommy & actor Buck AU, prompted by @screamlet: genre writer Tommy scores a screen adaptation deal for one of his signature works and Buck is about to be the face of that project (and they were ex-lovers) -> Sarah @aringofsalt also had the juicy suggestion that Buck could be the inspiration for the main character that he's gonna play 👀👀👀

sam's in the hospital. he's going to be fine, but they're recommending that he stay in the hospital for a few days just in case. abby agreed immediately, telling sam that it would give her enough time to book them flights or a car home. they'll be avoiding trains for awhile, even though abby knows that derailments are rare and if they've already been in one, they'll probably never be in another. but she'd had to call sam's daughters and tell them what was going on, and really. one phone call like that in her life was more than enough.

she needs coffee. sam's been asleep for an hour and abby's been drifting off, but her elbow keeps slipping off the arm of the chair, jolting her awake just before she can truly fall asleep. abby makes sure to let the nurses know that she's stepping out for coffee before she leaves the floor; sam is generally a heavy sleeper but she has no idea what today has done for that.

the elevator is empty when she gets on and she can feel herself drifting off again. the cafe is only three floors down; she'll probably make it there before she falls asleep on her feet.

the elevator doors open and abby startles awake. for that brief second she's waking up to find out her mom has wandered off, waking up to tommy screaming himself out of a nightmare, waking up to realize the train has gone off the tracks.

tommy's standing in the elevator doorway, blinking at her. she's too tired to know for sure if he's really there or if she's still half asleep and imagining him. abby slides to the side and pats the railing, inviting him in. he's wearing a flight suit, which is a point for him actually being there — she's never seen him in one before, has no idea how to imagine it.

he slips into the elevator just before the doors can close, looking as tired as she feels. abby tips her head back against the wall, smoothing her hands down her thighs and trying not to notice them shaking.

she's only gone down one floor.

no one gets on the elevator before they reach the cafe. tommy holds the door open for her and abby orders them both a coffee, the habit still ingrained after all these years. it's terrible coffee. it always is, in hospitals, and abby thinks that if they just brought a better roast in than people might not be in such terrible moods every time they had to come for a visit.

tommy gives her a few minutes before he starts talking, telling her about the hiker they rescued earlier who'd skidded over the edge of a cliff — to get a selfie, god, was she ever that young and silly — and that he's finally started watching downton abbey, makes her laugh when he imitates the dowager saying "what is a weekend?", tells her that he's hit his maximum flight hours for the day and is just waiting for the truck to come and get him and switch out with another pilot.

abby knows she's being handled. she recognizes the grounding technique she'd used with tommy when he had nightmares, wonders if this is going to be what finally triggers some ptsd in her. but she's still grateful for the distraction — tess and natalie are states away and asleep anyway, and she can't really see herself telling two teenagers about how scared she was their dad wasn't going to make it.

she'd begged buck to save him and he'd done it even though abby had hurt him.

(she's really never deserved everything he offered her.)

she tells tommy she was on the train. his gaze darts up to the gauze over her left eye and she shrugs, tells him that was all that happened to her. tells tommy that sam got the worst of it, that he's sleeping upstairs. they don't think that they'll have to do surgery, but they told her what to expect anyway. tells tommy no, sam isn't the firefighter but she saw him at the accident.

asks if he was one of the helicopters she saw picking up passengers all night.

they've finished their coffee. abby checks her watch and it's been half an hour. she should get back upstairs.

tommy buys the coffee this time. he gets a third cup for his partner but takes the elevator up to abby's floor, walking her back to sam's room. she doesn't doze off in the elevator this time, thank god, or she'd probably have hallucinated buck. sam's awake when they get back, and abby has the pleasure of introducing her first fiancé to her last fiancé. it's funnier than it should be, and she swallows another laugh because she's worried she might be tipping over the line from tired to hysterical.

sam stays awake long enough to say hi to tommy, but then the medication and the pain take him back under. it should probably be awkward that they're all in the same room, but it just doesn't happen. abby walks tommy back to the elevator, thanks him for keeping her company, and then.

she's not really sure why she does it.

abby waits until the doors are almost closed and tells tommy that if he wants to tell her about a boy the next time they catch up, she'd be happy to listen.

the doors close on tommy staring at her. abby waits in case tommy wants to come back up, but the doors don't immediately open again.

she heads back to sam's room.

they've got a few more days in los angeles and she's determined to tie up the rest of her loose ends.

During Elvira's 40th Anniversary Very Scary, Very Special, Special on Shudder, the apparently immortal horror heckler (she looks exactly the same as she did when I was a little kid, WT actual F??) does a bit where she pretends to read rude letters about her own movie. One of the messages, from a "Leonard Maltin", complains that there was no character development, and while this is all for laffs, that was really the general complaint about ELVIRA: MISTRESS OF THE DARK. Unfortunately, it's hard to disagree, and this points to a paradox within the character herself. The figure of the horror host forms a sort of bridge between fans and the films we love, but when her routine so favors cheap digs and low blows, is Elvira really with us, or against us?

Somewhere I heard, probably more than twice or thrice, the basic admonishment that nobody tries to make a bad movie. Making a movie at all is a huge challenge, and you can assume that anybody who showed up to work on one was trying as hard as they could. And like, I think that's a pretty good benefit of the doubt to take to any viewing experience. I can't convince myself that this is literally always true, but even if we do take for granted that every movie is made with the best of intentions, that still doesn't cover the toll taken by financial hardship, production hangups, lack of inspiration, inexperience, and just plain old incompetence, among other enemies of art. Luckily, movies that suffer from these ails can still be enormously entertaining at a certain mental remove, as per the great Mystery Science Theater 3000, which was certainly a major contributor to the modern craze for irony that lingers on to this day. The thing to note is that MST3K always had a warm glow of affection around it, at least in the Joel Hodgson years; perhaps this aura of sympathy stems from the creator himself being a prop comic, and his uber-independent production being not that far removed from the never-say-die creative spirit of a grade B or Z genre movie. In any case, while Hodgson's style of sarcastic commentary caught on in a big way, his baseline love of (as he put it) "weird, adorable movies" takes more soul than some viewers have to offer, and it can feel as if most people enjoy watching something "cheezy" because it gives them a chance to spew some sort of repressed rage in the form of nasty, condescending commentary that doesn't rise to the level of comedy, and that doesn't have much purpose for anyone but the spewer.

Where the hell was I going with this?

Oh yeah. I want to know what Elvira's whole deal is supposed to be.

Cassandra Peterson seems like a lovely person. An interesting person, even. Somebody I wouldn't mind being stuck in an elevator with. She's had an eventful life, one that probably required a lot of chutzpah, and any friend of Pee-wee Herman is a (theoretical) friend of mine. But right at the beginning of the movie about her busty, bouffant-sporting hostess character, Elvira herself says something that I found suspect. Well actually, she does it twice, once immediately in the first scene, where she tears into the Roger Corman classic IT CONQUERED THE WORLD on her TV show, a mockup of the real-life KHJ-TV series Elvira's Movie Macabre. Pointing her finger down her throat, she quips that the movie was "about an hour and a half too long," which is way harsher than even Leonard Maltin was in his own measured review. Seconds later, after being groped by the station's sleazy new owner, Elvira quits, ranting to her agent, "As soon as my show opens in Las Vegas, I'll never have to host another one of those crappo horror movies again!"

Hmmm.

So anyway, even though Elvira doesn't have the dough to launch her own Vegas revue, she gets a fresh start when she inherits the fortune of her mysterious Great Aunt Morgana. She travels from Kansas to Massachusetts with dollar signs in her eyes, only to discover that her winnings are a dilapidated mansion, an ornery toy poodle, and an old recipe book—actually a powerful grimoire, which is the envy of Elvira's Uncle Vincent (William Morgan Sheppard), actually an evil warlock and the only other survivor of her magical bloodline. Elvira's journey of self-discovery is fraught with peril, not only from Vincent, but from the even more menacing Morality Club and its president, Chastity Pariah (the incomparable Edie McClurg), who virtually runs the town. Luckily, Elvira has a little help in the form of local teens who are raring to rebel, and a new love interest in the person of THIS guy.

That's right, Daniel Greene, the arm-wrestling cyborg from Sergio Martino's HANDS OF STEEL, which is a much, much stranger movie than either MISTRESS OF THE DARK or IT CONQUERED THE WORLD could ever hope to be.

But I digress. Even though ELVIRA is ostensibly a movie about being true to yourself, it's hard to get a read on what the main character is about. When you first meet her, she makes it pretty clear that she hates her job AND the movies she has to watch for it. Later in the film, when she learns that her suitor operates the local movie theater, she urges him to run a midnight program with the shlocky movies she has been toting around in the trunk of her car. We catch some of her act, in which she joyfully heckles ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES from her signature velvet fainting couch, but that movie is itself an act of heckling, and doesn't tell us much. If you're like me, you kind of want Elvira to champion these movies instead of seeing them as an albatross around her neck; for her ribbing of them to be tempered with reverence. Which it sometimes is, and sometimes isn't. And you kind of want her love of horror to tie in to her essential, indomitable difference from normal people. Unfortunately, she doesn't seem at all impressed by Great Aunt Morgana's gothic digs, or even her own magical origins. She only sees her newfound powers as another way of getting enough money to go to Vegas.

Incidentally, the showgirl thing is autobiographical for the star and co-writer, who started dancing at The Dunes when she was only 17. Peterson is also really from Kansas, like her character in the movie, so you'd think this story was wide open for exploring themes of self-acceptance and the embrace of originality. The fact that Elvira is an orphan isn't even mentioned until half way through the plot, when more is revealed about Morgana, and this just feels like a huge missed opportunity. Elvira might have been wondering all her life why she's so different, and where she came from, as she doesn't seem to fit in anywhere. She might have found validation in the search for fantastical escape that genre fans have in common, which is reflected here in the wild turnout for the midnight movie extravaganza at the local theater. But instead, at the beginning, middle, and end of the journey, Elvira remains exclusively focused on getting the money to go to Vegas. Please don't mistake me for looking down on that ambition! The lady can twirl a mean pair of tassels. But still, I just wanted a little more Elvira in my Elvira.

It shouldn't be, but Elvira's car is really the star of this movie.

I’m going to be completely honest, I wrote and rewrote this so many times but this one has been the best one. I started writing it almost immediately after the finale and I’m pretty excited about it- hence why it’s so long. Also, there are some things in here that I’m not a 100% sure are canonically correct, but I’m just going with it so bear with me.

           Eddie frowned as he watched Buck distractedly wash and then dry the lunch dishes. Ever since the train derailment he’d been acting off, Eddie had just figured it had to do with seeing Abby again and the ensuing conversation that the two of them had apparently had- not that Buck had told Eddie that himself, oh no he’d had to hear about it from Bobby. Not that he was hurt by that, or jealous. Because that would be childish.

           Eddie got up from the table and he moved to lean back against the counter next to where Buck was washing the same plate that he’d just dried off. “Everything okay?” Eddie asked quietly and leaned in a little to brush their shoulders together.

           “Huh?” Buck asked and looked up, obviously broken out of whatever headspace he’d been in by Eddie’s touch. “Oh, yeah. Everything’s fine.”

           Eddie wanted to push because he knew that something was wrong with Buck, but he didn’t know how to without being a jackass and making Buck get all defensive with him. He scratched at the corner of his eye with his thumb and tried a different tactic. “You know that Christopher’s still at sleep-away camp and the house has been too quiet without him around. You want to come over for a bit? We can watch some movies, play some video games, or whatever. We could go out if you wanted to do that instead.”

           Buck watched him for a moment, obvious suspicion in his blue eyes at Eddie’s question being followed up by the offer, but then he nodded. “You know there’s that place down on South Figueroa…” Buck trailed off and Eddie nodded.

           “Sounds great,” Eddie said and he took the dish towel from Buck’s hand to finish up drying the dishes. Buck grinned at him and Eddie rolled his eyes before snapping the towel at Buck’s hip playfully. Buck danced away from the towel with a laugh that had something warm and content settling into Eddie’s chest at managing to lighten Buck’s mood- even if it was just for a little while.

…..

           Eddie followed Buck in his truck so that both of them would have their vehicles when it came time to finally head home. Buck’s semi-flirty smile that he gave the hostess- typical Buck behavior because he knew how that smile made people melt- wasn’t as bright as usual and Eddie winced a little as they were walked over to a corner booth.

           Buck glanced over the drinks menu before he looked at the waiter with a charming smile. “I’ll take an old-fashioned but instead of the house bourbon I’ll take Jack, please.” The waiter nodded and Eddie shot Buck a surprised look. Buck didn’t usually drink hard liquor, so something had to be bothering him for him to order something so strong. “Eddie,” Buck said expectantly, and Eddie snapped out of it.

           He sent the waiter an apologetic smile. “Tequila, straight.” Buck’s eyes widened and Eddie just bumped his foot under the table. The waiter simply nodded and went to take their orders over to the bar. “What?” Eddie asked when Buck kept looking at him with that worried puppy-dog look.

           “Tequila?” Buck questioned.

           “An old-fashioned?” Eddie countered with a raised eyebrow. Buck slumped down a little in the booth and Eddie bumped Buck’s leg under the table again so that Buck would look at him. “What’s going on, Buck?” Buck fidgeted in his seat and after a moment he reached over to pull something out of the inside pocket of his jacket. He tossed it over to Eddie and kept his eyes down on where he was resting his wrists on the table.

           Eddie leaned over to take the envelope. He saw Buck’s name written in a neat and objectively pretty handwriting. He traced his fingers over it before flipping it over and pulling out the cardstock that was inside. He flinched as he read it over. It was an invitation to Abby Clark’s wedding. He could certainly see why Buck was ordering hard liquor now.

           “Well shit,” Eddie said and tucked the invitation back into the envelope before he dropped it onto the table.

           “Yeah,” Buck murmured softly and picked at his nails. The waiter came- effectively cutting of their awkward attempts at a conversation- and gave them their drinks. Eddie thanked the waiter as the shots were set out and the waiter handed him a couple of lime wedges and a salt grinder.

           Eddie nodded his thanks before he turned his attention back to where Buck was resolutely staring either down at the table for into the bottom of his glass. “So what are you wanting to do?” Eddie asked before he licked the back of his hand and sprinkled salt on his hand as he waited for Buck to find his voice.

           His eyes had lifted from the table to track Eddie’s movements, so Eddie took that as a minor victory. “I don’t know,” Buck admitted after a moment before he lifted his own glass to take a drink. He fiddled with the glass as Eddie licked the salt off his hand and threw back his first shot. He swallowed thickly before taking a lime wedge from the bowl and taking a bite. He wrinkled his nose at the sourness. “I don’t want to be the pathetic ex that shows up to the wedding alone and moping. I- I don’t want to get back together with Abby- she left me in the worst way possible and I don’t think I could ever trust her again- but she was my first love, you know?” Buck shrugged almost nervously as he fiddled with his drink.

           “Then don’t go alone,” Eddie said as if it were that easy. He understood how heavily a first love could weigh on someone. He’d had a hard time letting go of Shannon when she’d left him and then once she’d told him that she wanted a divorce. He felt for Buck, but he also knew that Buck wanted to be a good friend to Abby despite everything. And good friends went to their friend’s wedding.

           “It’s not exactly like I have anyone I could bring with me. You know I haven’t been… well, I haven’t been looking but that’s besides the point. I’m not good at this.” Buck grimaced and Eddie could hear the dejected note to Buck’s voice.

           “What do you mean?” Eddie asked after he’d downed his second shot. He couldn’t understand why anyone would want to leave Buck- let alone the way that Abby, or even Ali though that one wasn’t nearly as bad, had done it. Buck was smart and kind and so considerate- and not to mention so incredibly hot: with the eyes and the biceps and the cute little birthmark. Eddie blinked and thought maybe he needed to slow down a little on the tequila. Not that he wouldn’t normally think about how attractive Buck was- he wasn’t blind- but it certainly didn’t sit so warmly in his stomach.

           “Dating,” Buck said and finally looked up at Eddie. “I guess I’m pretty good at the physical part,” Buck said with a bit of a smirk that had Eddie snorting and shaking his head fondly, “but the emotional part.” He made a noise in the back of his throat. “I don’t know.”

           “You haven’t found the right person, Buck. You’re twenty-eight, that’s young enough to still be making mistakes with love.” Eddie shrugged and Buck gave him a bland look.

           “You’re only three years older than me, Eddie. And you were married with a kid,” Buck pointed out blandly.

           “And we see how that turned out,” Eddie shot back. Buck’s mouth clamped shut and Eddie shook his head again. “Don’t turn this around on me. We’re talking about you.” Eddie downed his last shot and stacked the glasses inside themselves before thoughtfully chewing on the lime wedge that was left. He tossed it back into the bowl. “Easy solution to all of this is just ask a friend with to come with you and act like you’re together.”

           Buck looked at him for a long while before he shook his head. “There’s not really anyone that I could ask- not that Abby doesn’t already know- so...”

           “Abby doesn’t know me,” Eddie said and he had no idea where that had come from, but he wouldn’t take it back. Not with the stunned and maybe- just maybe- hopeful expression it put on Buck’s face. “I could go with you.”

           Buck’s face flushed prettily and Eddie couldn’t help but feel a small smile tug at his lips. “I can’t ask you to do that.”

           “You’re not asking, Buck. I’m offering.” Eddie shrugged despite the nerves now squirming in his stomach. Buck watched him for a long moment and chewed his lip, Eddie’s eyes reflexively dropping down to focus on Buck’s mouth.

           Buck released his lower lip from between his teeth and downed the rest of his drink. “Okay.”

           “Okay?” Eddie asked, having been momentarily distracted.

           “Yeah, let’s do it.” Buck said and tucked his hands underneath his thighs. Eddie grinned and he felt warm all over when Buck grinned back, the flush from earlier still highlighting his cheeks.

…..

           Eddie was in the middle of getting his bills in order and was chewing on the cap of his pen when the door to his house opened up and Buck swept into the room. His hair was damp and sticking up in soft waves that Buck was usually so careful to gel down. Eddie tried not to ignore the slight flutter in his chest.

           “We’re going to have to come up with a plausible cover story if this is going to work,” Buck said without any sort of context. “The social media aspect is covered because I’ve been posting pictures with you and Christopher for- well basically since we’ve been friends.”

           “Buck, what’re you talking about?” Eddie asked and shuffled his papers into a pile so that he could give Buck his whole attention while not having to worry about Buck’s flailing knocking them onto the floor.

           “About the whole fake-dating thing for Abby’s wedding,” Buck said and he tucked his hands into his pockets. “If we don’t have our story straight, the whole thing will fall apart and that will be more embarrassing than if I showed up alone.”

           Eddie watched Buck fidget for a while before nodding for Buck to sit down. “Well, every good lie starts with the truth. We met at work,” Eddie said tentatively. “Abby saw me at the crash, so I assume she’ll remember that I’m with the 118.”

           “Right,” Buck said and he squirmed a little in his seat. “So how did we get together?”

           Eddie frowned. “I don’t know, Buck. Like normal people do.”

           Buck rolled his eyes. “I meant who asked who out? When? Why? That sort of stuff.”

           Eddie sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. “Uh… we could say that you asked me out,” Eddie said. “Not going to sting my pride and anyone who knows you will probably believe that. You’re more… personable.” Buck was an extrovert that thrived on attention. Granted, all of the people Buck had gone out with- to the extent of Eddie’s knowledge- had been the one to ask him out but that didn’t necessarily mean anything.

           “Okay…” Buck said and nodded, obviously trying to think. “We can’t say that it’s a new thing because you don’t invite a new partner to something like a wedding. Gives off the wrong kind of vibes. So I guess… about a year? Seems a good timeline for ‘be my plus one to a wedding’ type of commitment.”

           “Sounds fine to me,” Eddie said not really understanding at all what Buck was talking about. If you had a significant other and were invited to a wedding did it really matter how long you’d been together? With the look Buck was giving him, apparently it did. “As for the why- that’s none of anyone’s business. Besides, one look and five minutes with you and everyone will get why.” Eddie felt the back of his neck heating up at how much he’d revealed, and he cleared his throat. “Good enough?”

           “Yeah,” Buck said and his voice was a little strained. He pushed his fingers through his hair, mussing it up further, and let out a harsh breath. “You really don’t have to do this, Eddie.”

           Eddie let out a short laugh and shook his head. “It’s not a big deal. We go to a wedding, have a nice time, and then you get to come back home feeling better about this whole Abby thing. I’m alright with being part of that. I don’t get enough opportunities to get dressed up,” Eddie teased and knocked his foot against Buck’s ankle.

           Buck opened his mouth- probably to say something smart- but then he flushed and closed his mouth firmly. Eddie frowned a little at that, it wasn’t like Buck to be careful with his words, not around Eddie anyways, but he didn’t push. He didn’t really get the chance anyways because Buck was launching into a million questions about Eddie’s plans for when Christopher got home.

…..

           “Hey, Eddie, can I talk to you in my office for a second?” Bobby asked and Eddie looked up from the book Carla had recommended to him.

           “Yeah,” Eddie said and folded down the corner of the page before closing his book and tossing it onto the side table. He made his way into Bobby’s office and only felt a little nervous as Bobby closed the door and went to sit behind his desk. “Everything alright, Cap?”

           “I was about to ask you the same thing,” Bobby said and gestured for Eddie to sit.

           “What do you mean?” Eddie asked with a frown.

           “Well, Buck just told me that you and him are going to need some time off. Because you’re his date to Abby’s wedding.” Bobby fixed him with a pointed look and Eddie tried not to squirm under Bobby’s gaze. “Is there paperwork I need to be filling out?”

           Eddie felt his face get hot and he was sure that he was turning red. “This isn’t like that,” Eddie said and shook his head. “Buck didn’t want to show up to Abby’s wedding alone. I guess he thought that it would look bad- or make him look desperate- and so I offered to go with him.”

           “As his date.” Bobby raised an eyebrow but it wasn’t really a question.

           “Yeah. As his fake-date.” Eddie’s stomach flopped as Bobby’s face slowly turned from a confused frown to an almost knowing smile.

           “Oh, I see. His fake-date,” Bobby said and his mouth quirked up in amusement, only making Eddie’s face burn all the hotter.

           “So can you get someone to cover or should I tell Buck that both of us can’t go?” Eddie asked, a little defensively in his embarrassment.

           “I’ll make it work,” Bobby said and waved Eddie off. Eddie stood and he straightened out his uniform shirt to try and salvage some of his dignity in the face of Bobby’s fatherly teasing. “Have fun.”

           Eddie nodded at Bobby and turned to walk out.

           “But not too much fun,” Bobby teased and Eddie turned to give Bobby a sharp look as a blush bloomed across his face and down his neck.

…..

           “What do you think?” Eddie asked and stepped out into the living room where Carla and Christopher were sitting at the table, working on a new craft project that Christopher had learned at sleep-away camp and wanted to recreate at home. Eddie had put on his suit to make sure that it still fit and that it would be nice enough for the wedding, though he’d sprung for a new shirt and tie. And if his shirt and tie were specifically picked to complement Buck then no one needed to comment on it, thank you very much, Carla.

           “Well look at you,” Carla said with a laugh. “Very handsome.” Carla came over and helped settle his collar a little better and to pick imaginary lint off of his jacket.

           “You look good, Daddy,” Christopher said and beamed at Eddie for a moment. Eddie grinned back just as brightly.

           “Should get it off and packed up then,” Eddie said and fiddled with the buttons at his cuffs.

           “Oh no, not yet. Buckaroo made me promise to get pictures,” Carla said and pulled out her phone.

           “He doesn’t trust me to dress myself?” Eddie asked and tucked his hands into his pockets awkwardly as Carla got her phone ready to take some pictures.

           “I’m pretty sure he just wants to make sure you two match,” Carla said and lifted her phone before frowning at him. “Oh come on, Eddie. Strut a little. You know you look good.” It pulled a laugh from Eddie and Carla snapped a picture while he laughed. “That one’s a keeper.” Eddie pushed a hand through his hair and sent Carla a flat look when she snapped a picture then too. She snapped another of his unimpressed face before Eddie shook his head and held up his hand.

           “Alright, alright. That’s enough. I don’t need a paparazzi moment,” Eddie laughed and rocked on his feet before nodding over his shoulder. “I’m going to get out of this. Eddie leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of Christopher’s head. “Do I pass, Superman?”

           “Yeah. Buck’s going to think you look really handsome, Daddy.” Christopher said it so innocently, but it made Eddie blush a little to think of Buck looking at the pictures of him in a suit and thinking Eddie was handsome. Eddie nodded and he went back into this room to change into one of his old Army t-shirts and a well-worn pair of jeans.

…..

           Buck was trying to piece together a suit that didn’t make him cringe when his phone chimed with a message from Carla. He thumbed open the messages and he felt his eyes get wide as he looked at the pictures of Eddie in a suit. He bit his lip and smiled a little as he looked at Eddie’s bright laughter, expertly captured by Carla’s photography skills. Eddie looked really nice in his suit but in this picture, he looked relaxed and happy. The second picture though, that was… well. Buck bit his lip harder but not for the purposes of stepping on his growing smile. Eddie was handsome all the time, Buck had often found himself thinking about the various aspects of Eddie that were attractive, but this… this was next level. Eddie looked sexy.

           Buck scrolled past the picture and couldn’t help but snort at the annoyed expression on Eddie’s face in the last one. After a moment, a message from Carla came through. Seems like your mans knows what he’s about and he’s not playing around. Everyone’s going to be very jealous of you, Buckaroo.

           Buck’s face felt hot and he tapped his finger on the corner of his phone as he tried to think of a response. He couldn’t think of anything and he tried to busy himself with matching his shirt and tie to Eddie’s suit, and if he took more time than necessary to study the pictures of Eddie to do so- well there was no one around to call him out on it. His phone went off again and he picked it up to see a text from Eddie.

Eddie: Do I pass inspection?

           Buck huffed a short laugh before tapping out his response.

Buck: I don’t think you need me to stroke your ego.

         You look great, Eddie

        You certainly made my life easier by having a black suit that I can match mine to.

Eddie: Well, we wouldn’t want you to have a fashion melt-down 😉

           Buck snorted and he definitely would have to thank whoever it was that finally taught Eddie to use emojis- it was probably Christopher or Hen if he had to hazard a guess.

Buck: Nope. No meltdown here.

        Okay, maybe there was the beginnings of a meltdown, but that’s not the point.

           Buck could almost hear the way that Eddie would be laughing at him on the other end of the phone. The little ellipses popped up one or twice and Buck frowned at it, but nothing came through. Buck tucked his phone into his pocket and finished up picking his suit and getting it packed up, trying not to overthink what Eddie had been trying to tell him.

…..

           Eddie lifted Christopher onto his hip and pressed another kiss to his son’s cheek. “You’ve got to promise to be good for Hen and Karen, alright? It’s only a few days, but-”

           “I’ve already promised three times,” Christopher said and pressed his hands against Eddie’s cheeks seriously. “You can go, Daddy. It’s going to be o-kay.” He patted Eddie’s face and Eddie could hear Buck stifling his laughter behind them.

           “Alright, alright. You know that you can call me whenever you want,” Eddie said and settled Chris down, smoothing a hand through his son’s hair.

           “Yes, now go!” Christopher said and gave Eddie a playful push towards Buck.

           “If you need anything-” Eddie said, looking at where Hen was watching the whole display with a grin.

           “I will call Carla or Isabel,” Hen said with a firm look. “Like you said, it’s only a few days. We’ve got this, Eddie. You and Buck have some fun.” The way she said it made Eddie’s neck burn and he gave her a short nod before turning to look at Buck.

           “Ready?” Eddie asked and shouldered his carry-on bag. He and Buck had decided to just put their suits and couple of sets of clothes into one checked bag. To save money. Of course.

           “Are you?” Buck asked teasingly and Eddie rolled his eyes before shoving him and grabbing their checked bag. They made their way over to where they could drop off their bag and Eddie couldn’t help but keep looking over his shoulder to where Hen and Christopher were waiting, Christopher waving at him. Eddie waved back as Buck handed their bag off.

           “Honeymooning?” The woman asked conversationally as she tapped at the computer and printed out a label for their bag. She glanced up at them as she fixed it to their bag.

           “Uh, not quite. Friend’s wedding,” Buck said and glanced at Eddie out of the corner of his eye.

           “Well, if it makes you feel any better, your son seems to be in good hands. The first trip without them is always the worse.” Eddie blushed and he fumbled for a second, not sure if she should correct her assumption that Eddie and Buck were together.

           “Thank you,” Buck said easily, and she nodded before she put their bag on the conveyer belt.

           “You’re all set. Have a nice flight.”

           Both of then nodded and they went through security in relative silence, not that it was particularly easy to talk to each other while you were going through security, but when they were on the other side, Eddie gave Buck an apologetic grimace. “Sorry about that- back there,” Eddie said and pointed over his shoulder.

           “No big deal, Eddie. Not like it’s the first time,” Buck shrugged and tucked his hands into his pockets. Eddie felt a sharp spike in his heartbeat.

           “What?”

           “People have assumed that Christopher was our son before. It’s not a big deal. He’s a sweet kid and-” Buck was about to go on one of his incredibly heart-warming rambles about how great Christopher was, but Eddie cut him off.

           “Like when?” Eddie asked as they started to make their way towards their gate.

           “Remember when we took Chris to see Santa. That first time.” When Eddie nodded, Buck continued. “Well, one of the elves thought Chris was our son. Told me that we had an adorable son.”

           “What did you say to that?” Eddie asked, his heart hammering against his chest. He wasn’t sure what he wanted Buck to have said.

           “I said thank you,” Buck shrugged casually. He glanced over at Eddie and winced at whatever he saw in Eddie’s face. “Should I not have?”

           “It’s not a big deal, I just… I never thought about how it looked to have you with me when I took him. That’s all,” Eddie said and bumped their shoulders together. Buck quirked a small smile and leaned in so that their shoulders were pressed together the whole time they were walking.

           They sat outside their gate for a while, just talking about nothing mostly, before they were able to board. Buck seemed to get a little tense as they walked up, had their tickets checked, and then started to get onto the plane. Eddie watched the tension in Buck’s shoulders and he reached out and rubbed Buck’s back softly as they made their way to their seats.

           “You okay?” Eddie asked and covered Buck’s hand where Buck was gripping the arm rests of his seat.

           “Yeah, I just- when I first started working at the 118, I worked a crash,” Buck whispered so that only Eddie would be able to hear him. “I just remembered it and-”

           “Hey,” Eddie said soothingly and he slipped his hand between Buck’s and the arm rest so that Buck was holding onto him. “It’s gonna be okay. It’s only about an hour and a half.” Buck nodded and he just held onto Eddie’s hand as everyone else boarded the flight. “I’ve got a book in my bag if you want to try and distract yourself.”

           “Yeah?” Buck asked, almost like he was worried that Eddie was going to shut him down.

           “Yeah. It’s probably right up your alley too. It’s about space,” Eddie teased. Buck and Christopher both had such a fascination with space and Eddie had watched the two of them fall into documentary and research holes more than once. Buck rolled his eyes but when Eddie held it out to him, he took it and opened it to the first page eagerly. Eddie watched him fondly for a minute before he settled, his hand still folded in Buck’s as Buck balanced the book open with one hand and one of his knees.

           When the plane started to move to take off, Buck’s eyes squeezed shut and Eddie gently tugged at Buck’s hand to get Buck to look at him. “So what do you think Christopher is going to get up to with Hen, Karen, and Denny while we’re gone?” Eddie asked to keep Buck’s mind off the feeling of them taking off.

           “Probably con Hen into way too much sugar,” Buck said and he laughed, even though it sounded a little strained. “Though I wonder how well he’s going to get along with having a toddler in the house. It’s always just been you and him, or him and his friends.”

           “Hen said that Nia’s sleeping through the night most of the time, so I’m sure it’ll be fine. If anything, Chris’ll probably be excited to not be the youngest.” Harry was a few years older than Chris, and Denny was the same age- though as he like to proudly declare he was actually a few months older than Christopher- so Nia might be his chance to play big brother for a bit.” Eddie gave Buck’s hand a squeeze as they evened out. Buck let out a short breath and Eddie stroked a thumb over his knuckles. “Good?”

           “Yeah, thanks.” Buck said and he gave Eddie a soft smile before he went back to the book in his lap, though he never let go of Eddie’s hand and would every so often trace little patterns against Eddie’s wrist. Eddie just smiled to himself and tipped his head to look out the small window.

…..

           Buck shot a grin over his shoulder to Eddie as he unlocked their hotel room and stepped inside. Though he froze when he took in the room. He was sure that he’d booked a room with two beds, but right in the middle of the room was one large bed and Buck felt his mouth go dry.

           Eddie didn’t seem fazed as he moved to set his carry on down and opened up their bag. “We should hang up our suits to make sure they don’t get too wrinkled before the wedding tomorrow,” Eddie said and bumped Buck’s hip as he moved past him with his suit folded over his arm.

           “There’s only one bed,” Buck blurted out and turned to look at Eddie with a frown. Eddie froze from where he was hanging his clothes up and turned to look at Buck. Before Eddie could say anything, Buck was shuffling over to the phone. “I’ll call and have them bring a folding bed. You can sleep in the bed and I’ll just-”

           “Buck, it’s fine. It’s not like there isn’t plenty of room. We can put the extra pillows between us if you’re that worried about us touching.” Buck looked up at Eddie and both saw and heard the bitterness in Eddie’s tone.

           “Why would I care if we touched?” Buck asked with a frown. Anytime they were stood or sat next to each other they were plastered to each other’s sides from shoulder to thigh.

           “Why would I?” Eddie challenged and raised a pointed eyebrow. “It’s not like we’ve never been in close quarters before, Buck.” It was one thing to be in separate but close together bunk in the bunk room and another thing entirely to be in the same bed, but Buck wasn’t going to argue.

           Buck nodded and tucked his hands into his pockets. “Okay then,” Buck said, aiming for casual but his voice came out just a bit squeakier than he would have liked. He ducked his head at Eddie’s warm grin and moved to gather his suit so he could hang it up.

           “I’m gonna text Chris so he knows we’ve landed,” Eddie said and he moved to sit down on the edge of his bed with his phone. Buck just nodded and finished up with his suit before he started tossing his other clothes- really just for the flight back home- into the dresser. He grabbed his bathroom bag and settled it on the counter in the bathroom before he stepped back out and sat next to Eddie on the bed. “Seems like he and Denny are living it up.” Eddie leaned in closer, his breath ghosting along Buck’s neck warmly, as he showed Buck a picture of the boys that Karen had texted him. Both of them were in a blanket fort with little bowls of popcorn and candy as they watched Coco.

           “Hen and Karen are going to have quite the time trying to get Christopher to sleep after that,” Buck laughed and his chest ached a little. Looking at the picture made him miss Christopher a little bit more than he’d have thought. “I have made that mistake one too many times.”

           “You learn to roll with it,” Eddie said and bumped Buck’s shoulder. “What do you say we take a walk? Just kind of explore, find some place to get something to eat, and then we can turn in early. I’m sure you’re gonna want to take your time tomorrow and make yourself all pretty.” Eddie was teasing him but Buck blushed a little. He knew that Eddie wasn’t calling him pretty, but it was close enough.

           “Sounds good to me,” Buck said and Eddie nodded before he stood up and nodded towards the door. Buck followed after him with something warm settling in his chest as they fell into step beside each other.

…..

           Getting to sleep the night before the wedding hadn’t been as difficult as Buck would have thought. He and Eddie had felt that initial awkwardness of trying to settle into bed with someone you’d never slept beside before, but once they’d figured it out- it was easy to fall asleep.

           Buck woke up slowly to the familiar soft sound of his alarm and he grumbled his displeasure as he reached over to turn it off. He pressed his face further into his pillow but then he frowned when he heard a soft huff of breath right by his ear.

           “Comfortable?” Eddie’s voice, a little rough and thick from sleep, said from right by his ear. Buck blearily lifted his head and found himself nose to nose with Eddie. He’d been pressing his face into Eddie’s shoulder and now that he was more aware, he could feel how he’d plastered himself to Eddie’s side.

           “Shuddup,” Buck mumbled and he let his head fall back onto Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie huffed another small laugh and he combed his fingers through Buck’s hair for a moment before he nudged the side of Buck’s head.

           “Come on,” Eddie said and slipped his hand down from Buck’s hair to squeeze the back of his neck. “Up.”

           Buck huffed against Eddie’s neck before he rolled away and pushed himself out of bed. “How are you so awake?” Buck muttered and he scrubbed a hand down his face.

           “I have a kid who is determined to be up right around the time the sun comes up. And of course, former Army.” Eddie’s smile was soft and almost liquid around the edges. Buck felt something warm pool in his stomach and he grinned as he pushed his hair away from his face. “Don’t use up all the hot water, I’ve got to shower too,” Eddie said and stretched to poke Buck’s thigh with his foot.

           Buck caught his ankle and gave it a squeeze before he stood. “I won’t.” He let his touch linger a little before he padded over to the bathroom. He shut the door behind him and turned the water on to start getting warm while he brushed his teeth.

           The hot water felt good but he didn’t let himself linger like he would if he were showering at home. They didn’t really have time for it, and Eddie did ask him to leave him some hot water. An unbidden image of Eddie in the shower flashed in Buck’s head and he sucked in shaky breath before shoving it away and turning the water off. He dried off his hair and dried himself off before knotting the towel around his waist and opening the door.

           “All yours,” Buck murmured as he moved to open up the dresser and pull out a clean set of underwear. He had to focus on getting his clothes so that he didn’t look over at Eddie as Eddie made his way over to the shower.

           Buck waited until the door was shut before he tossed his towel over the back of a chair and pulled his underwear on. He pulled his undershirt and slacks. He didn’t want to pull his shirt on yet because he knew that he should probably shave before they left.

           The bathroom door opened and to show Eddie in his underwear and his undershirt as he rubbed a towel over his hair. “I’ve got to shave,” Buck said and pointed into the bathroom with a raised eyebrow.

           “Just need to shave and brush my teeth,” Eddie said and Buck nodded as he stepped into the humidity of the bathroom.

           “Not like we can’t share,” Buck said and his hip brushed against Eddie’s as he leaned over the sink to grab his bathroom bag. They both went about their routines silently and Buck couldn’t help but glance over at Eddie every so often in the mirror. He’d seen Eddie clean up after a shift, but this felt different. More intimate.

           Eddie sent him a small smile in the mirror around his toothbrush before he spit into the sink and rinsed it off. Buck’s hand nearly slipped at the warm jolt of electricity it sent through him. They both finished up shaving and Eddie laughed softly before he tilted Buck’s face and wiped away a bit of shaving cream that was just behind the curve of his jaw where he couldn’t see it. “Wouldn’t want you walking in with that,” Eddie said and his thumb on Buck’s skin felt like getting too close to a live wire- that same prickling sensation breaking out along his skin. Eddie dropped his hand from Buck’s skin and combed his hair back from his face so that it sat flat. “You should leave your hair wavy,” Eddie said abruptly as he glanced at Buck in the mirror.

           Buck pushed his hand through his still slightly damp hair. It wasn’t long enough to fall into his face, but it laid across his forehead in almost curls. “You think so?”

           “Yeah,” Eddie said casually and Buck just nodded. Eddie touched the small of Buck’s back before stepping out and going to get dressed. Buck knew he should finish up, but he felt overwhelmed a little at how easily he and Eddie were falling into these roles. He swallowed thickly and reminded himself that Eddie was just doing this as a favor to a friend. He was being supportive because he was Buck’s friend and that’s what friends did.

           Buck blew out a breath and went to finish getting dressed. He stood in front of the closet mirror and fixed his tie and made sure his collar wasn’t twisted up before he slid his jacket into place. He gave himself a short nod in the mirror before he glanced over to where Eddie was pulling his jacket on as well. He rolled his eyes a little as he noticed that Eddie’s collar wasn’t sitting right because of how his tie was adjusted. Buck just wordless turned Eddie around and tugged at his tie before leaning in so he could smooth his collar.

           When he stepped back, his hands still on Eddie’s lapels, Eddie was blushing a little and Buck bit his lip. “Wouldn’t want you walking in like that,” Buck said, teasingly repeating Eddie’s words back to him. Eddie’s face broke out into a smile and he swatted at Buck’s hands playfully. “If you’re ready, we better get going,” Buck said as he glanced down at his watch.

           “If you’re not ashamed to be seen with me in public, then I think we’re good,” Eddie joked and Buck shoved at his shoulder. Eddie wrapped his arm around Buck’s back and guided him towards the door where their shoes were lined up and ready for them to slip them on.

…..

           Eddie settled his arm over the back of Buck’s chair as the ceremony started- Abby’s procession having already led her up to the altar with her brother on her arm. Buck had tensed a little when the wedding march had started and when he’d first caught sight of Abby- who Eddie had to begrudgingly admit look really pretty in her soft pink dress- but Eddie had just stroked his thumb over the back of Buck’s shoulder and he’d slowly relaxed. The ceremony was much shorter than Eddie had remembered his being, but then again he’d had the full Catholic ceremony as a way to appease his family’s traditionalists.

           They started inside, the wedding having been held just outside the reception hall, but Eddie stepped away from Buck when his shoe came untied. He stepped out of the way so that he could crouch down and tighten the laces of his shoe before quickly knotting them and tugging to make sure it wasn’t going to fall out again. When he was satisfied, he found Buck in the small crowd and frowned as he noticed that Buck was talking to Abby and Sam at the entrance to the reception. His whole body was screaming how uncomfortable he was so Eddie politely made his way through the people towards Buck.

           “I thought you were bringing a date? I didn’t see her with you,” Abby said and it shouldn’t have struck a nerve- at least not with Eddie- but it did. Eddie stepped up and wrapped an arm around Buck’s waist securely.

           “Sorry, didn’t mean to leave you out to dry,” Eddie said and brushed a kiss against Buck’s cheek for good measure. He put on his most charming smile as he looked at the newly married couple. “Hey,” Eddie said brightly. “I’m sure that you don’t remember me, but I’m Eddie.” He held out his hand and both of them shook it. “It’s nice to get a proper introduction and under much better circumstances.” There was an almost brittleness to his tone that neither of the strangers picked up on, but Buck did as he turned to look at Eddie with a slightly shocked expression.

           “You’re the firefighter from the crash,” Sam said as it clicked into place. His smile brightened marginally.

           “One of many,” Eddie joked as he smoothed his thumb over the soft material of Buck’s jacket. “I’m glad to see you’re doing better.”

           “I couldn’t do much worse,” Sam joked and Eddie laughed. It wasn’t Sam that he had anything against. The man had just happened to fall in love and who could really fault him for that?

           “I didn’t know Buck…” Abby started but faltered as she glanced between the two of them in a way that made Eddie’s blood start to simmer.

           “Buck was into men?” Eddie asked, his polite façade never faltering for a second as he shrugged casually in the wake of Abby’s obvious embarrassment. “Well, there’s a lot about Buck that will surprise you when you actually get to know him.” It was said with the right balance of pleasantness and pointedness that it could be seen as just giving Buck a compliment. He smiled at Buck fondly and Buck seemed to be in quiet awe as he smiled back at Eddie. Eddie looked back at them and gave them a short nod. “We shouldn’t monopolize your time. You’ve got other guests.” Eddie led Buck into the spacious room with a glowing feeling in his chest at the ringing silence that was left behind.

           “You… Eddie,” Buck said in a hushed tone, the same soft expression on his face from earlier.

           “I told you that I’d have your back, Buck,” Eddie said and he rubbed Buck’s back as they found an empty table and sat down. “I meant that.” Buck ducked his head and Eddie nudged at his foot carefully, not wanted to scuff either of their dress shoes.

           Buck’s blue eyes were bright with something that Eddie couldn’t place before it was replaced with one of his huge, genuine smiles. “Thanks, Eddie.”

…..

           The reception is winding down and Buck actually found himself having a good time. They talked a little with the other people at their table- who were absolutely enthralled that Buck and Eddie were both firefighters- but most of the people had gotten up and wandered to mingle with other guests or dance. Since Buck and Eddie only knew each other, it hadn’t been a problem for them to just relax in their own little bubble.

           The song changed and shifted into something slow and sweet, an Ed Sheeran song if Buck was right, and Eddie knocked his shoulder against Buck’s. “I’ve been a terrible date, I haven’t even asked you to dance yet.” Eddie’s smile was soft and only had a slight note of teasing to it. Eddie slipped his hand into Buck’s and gave it a gentle tug. “Come on. I promise I won’t step on your toes.”

           “Yeah,” Buck said and he followed Eddie out onto a corner of the dance floor. Eddie wrapped his arm around Buck’s waist and held onto his other hand.

           “I only know how to lead,” Eddie said with a hint of an apology in his voice. Buck just shrugged a little and let Eddie lead him. The same sort of easy intimacy from the bathroom earlier settled over them and Buck let himself lean into it tentatively. Eddie’s cheek brushed against his own and Buck let out a soft breath at the slight rasp of Eddie’s stubble despite having shaved just this morning. Buck could practically hear Eddie thinking as they danced slowly to the acoustic guitar and Ed Sheeran- and it was Ed Sheeran now that Buck was listening closer- singing about home. “Let’s…” Eddie faltered and then he pulled back a little bit so that they could look at each other. “Let’s get out of here.”

           Buck felt his breathing hitch in his chest as the suggestion in Eddie’s eyes. He was being purposefully vague so that Buck could just brush it off if he wanted to, but Buck didn’t want to. He was tired of this song and dance between them. If Eddie was ready and offering, then Buck wasn’t going to say now.

           “Yeah.”

           “Yeah?” Eddie asked and his smile was blinding as he held Buck just that little bit tighter.

           “Yeah,” Buck laughed and leaned in to bump their noses together. He wanted to kiss Eddie so badly, but he also didn’t want their first kiss to be in a room full of strangers. Eddie stepped away but he laced his fingers through Buck’s as he guided them towards the exit, not even bothering to tell the happy couple goodbye.

           It felt good.