Sam colt: why?

The count: well I picked you

Gay:

- Distinguished: Sam Colt has never been caught tripping when it comes to romantic interests. He had a great long term relationship with this one guy, but they broke it off when their careers went in really different paths. Since then, he’s been happily single, although he’s dated occasionally.

- Functional: Blacker may be a mess when it comes to clothes, keeping tidy or eating doughnuts, but he’s actually pretty functional when it comes to dating. He’s completely oblivious when people like him, and you kinda have to spell it out for the poor guy, but he’s open to being in a relationship. He’s also a surprisingly good cook, so husband material right there, guys.

- Disaster: Miles Froghorn has the world’s biggest crush on his supervisor, Blacker, and everyone knows except Blacker. He has had reoccurring nightmares of accidentally calling Blacker ‘honey’ and has had to destroy notes when he realised he’s started doodling hearts in the margin while Blackers talking. The boy is a gay mess and LB is thinking of threatening to fire him unless he confesses to Blacker because she’s ‘sick of all the pining in this office, Miles.’

Bi

- Distinguished: LB has had a few girlfriends before she got together with Bradley, and is completely open about her past with him. She’s a pretty good judge of character so she’s never had a crazy ex and she was known for keeping a little bi flag on her desk when she wore colour. Ruby refuses to believe this and wants photographic proof, which she never gets, but she does receive the shock of her life when she sees LB wearing a bi flag as a cape during Spectrum’s annual pride week.

- Functional: Bradley’s had his share of bi freak outs but he’s generally good at getting himself back on track afterwards. However, he did have an embarrassing crush on Sam Colt after he was resuscitated by him, and sometimes gets teased about it. He and LB were very comfortable with each other’s bi-ness so they often liked to point out people on tv the other would find attractive.

- Disaster: Everyone thinks Hitch knows what he’s doing, but quite frankly the man is a catastrophe. He’s perfectly fine if he’s only casually into a person or not actually into them, but when he likes them he falls to pieces. Unfortunately, he also chooses people who don’t like him back. He’s also a mess in general, like when he cried for 7 hours when he found out Zuko had a girlfriend, or how he continually refuses to admit to LB that he blushed when he first saw Valerie Capaldi with dyed hair when they were 25 and she hadn’t yet committed homicide.

Lesbian

- Distinguished: Buzz is actually very smooth when she’s not wearing beige. She knocks it out the park in a blue dress and she’s known for stealing the hearts of Twinford’s wlw, although none of her colleagues know that at all. She is also unfortunately fending off a few male suitors but they’ll get the hint, one way or another.

- Functional: SJ is lowest brand of functional there is. She’s not the disaster lesbian because Ruby exists, but she’s one for dorky science based gifts to people she has crushes on, and cried because she thought that Margo Bardem was just that beautiful. She has a huge crush on a pretty single mother who visits her local grocery store, who is unbeknownst to her, Sadie Monroe.

James sat alone in his cave as the storm brewed above. He had been assured by Sam that either her or Diane would be showing up to stay with him.

He just hoped they were able to get away.

As the first heavy drops of rain began to fall, he heard two pairs of footsteps. He turned to the outside and peered through the dim.

Sure enough, it was both of the Colt siblings that were jogging up the animal trail. He grinned and shuffled aside do they could easily slip inside the cave.

"Thanks, bud." Diane patted his leg as he moved to roll the boulder over the mouth of the cave.

"How are you faring?" Sam shook off some of the water.

"Good." James sat with his back to the entrance.

"That's good, that's good." Sam went over to the fire pit she'd made the last time she was here and started to light it. "You've been getting wood."

James nodded eagerly as Diane picked out a few of the splintered logs. "Helps keep busy."

Sam shook off her overcoat and tossed her satchel next to the crude cloth sack James had. "It must get boring out here."

Diane scoffed as she got comfortable near the fire. "He's stuck in a cave all day. He can't go home with us, and he can't talk to anyone besides us."

Sam shook her head and sat near her sister. "Could you imagine what Dad would do if we tried to bring him home?"

"Besides shoot him?"

"Yeah, besides the obvious." Sam drew a knee up to her chest. "I'm just thinking of the look on his face."

Diane snorted and started ruffling through her bag. "He'd have a heart attack."

James wrung his hands, heart feeling heavy.

"No, buddy, don't be sad." Diane waved his concern off. "Jerk deserves it. It'd honestly solve a lot of our problems of he dropped dead."

James let his head hang low.

Sam punched Diane in the arm. Diane hit back.

A whine got stuck in James' throat as he watched them tussle.

"You're just making him sad!"

"You hit me first!"

Thunder roared nearby and James flinched towards the back of the cave, slapping his hands over his ears.

"And this is why we're here." Sam glared at Diane. "To help him through a thunderstorm. Not fight about Dad."

"Whatever." She stood up and marched over to James. "Hey, buddy." She placed her hands on the boy's knee. "It's alright. We won't fight no more, okay?"

James lowered his hands into his lap, still shooting fearful looks towards the blocked entrance.

"Attaboy."

Sam hauled herself up onto his other knee, gently touching his forearm hidden under the dirty thick white cloth of his shirt. "We're here for you, little buddy."

James couldn't help but smile at the nick name. It felt nice to be called little.

"Ah, that's the toothy grin I know." She patted his arm.

A flash, then not a second later, a crack of thunder shook the cave. Sam clung to his sleeve as he flinched, trying to keep steady, Diane stepped back.

"Sounds like a really bad storm." Sam pushed herself to a sit again, moving up his thigh to be closer to his elbow. "Don't worry, little buddy. Diane and I will protect you."

"I don't want to hurt -"

"You aren't going to hurt us." Diane tapped his knuckles where one hand was braced against the floor. "Unclench your fists before you hurt yourself."

He slowly opened both fists, and the sisters could see the fingernail marks on his already rough hands.

Diane patted his hand while Sam climbed up his arm to his shoulder, getting settled next to his neck. "It's alright." She mumbled into his ears as the thunder rumbled. "We're under a good shelter, we're safe here, you did such a good job at making a shelter here, I'm proud of you. We're safe, we're safe."

James started to calm down as the storm started to move on, the thunder becoming quieter.

After a few minutes of quiet comfort and picking twigs out of his hair, Sam was preparing to go down when he reached up and grabbed her around the waist.

Sam was surprised as he moved her, he'd been extremely timid about touching either of them after he'd injured Diane during their first meeting. He gently placed her with her chest against his, hands crossing behind her back to keep her secure.

"Hug?"

Sam grinned at the question, spreading her arms as wide as she could, gripping handfuls of cloth and pressing her face against the boy's chest. "Hug."

Diane scoffed. "And what am I?"

James pulled a hand away and picked her up, settling her next to Sam and pressing them both close.

Colt Paterson No.5 Holster Revolver 

In this week's Armourer’s Bench video I take a look at an intriguing Colt Paterson revolver which has been adapted with a later loading lever.  Developed by Samuel Colt and manufactured at his short-lived Patent Arms Company the Paterson revolvers were Colt's first foray into revolver manufacture. While admittedly a false start they launched his career and a revolution in small arms.   

I discuss the history behind Colt's invention and the establishing of the factory in Paterson, NJ. We examine some of the other Paterson models and discuss how the revolver evolved and theories on how this particular pistol came to be 'upgraded'. My thanks to the wonderful Cody Firearms Museum for allowing me to film this revolver.