#saldis

It was slower in the morning.

What time is it. Need to complete the routine. Make a note about picking up more orange juice, don't forget. Should I take the time to stop at a café? Oh, I really want a little cinnamon roll or something. No, it's not important.

It always picked up on the street.

Both directions. Why are they staring at me. They stopped, it was probably just the color. That person is staring way too long. This one has been on the same street as me for three turns, are they following me? Oh, good, they went into a shop. Made it to work undetected. Why does Heilyn's hair always look so bad. Where did I put my pen. I hope no one comes in in the morning. Shit. Do I really have to talk to him of all people? Straighten out your hair, your clothes, smile, walk as tall as possible. Is anyone following me. That person glanced at me a little too long. They're not following. Who decorates their interior like this. Does he prefer Lord or Ser? Does he recognize my face? Did he kill my people without remorse? Does he want to kill me? How might he try to kill me in this very room. Why do soldiers think they can do political endeavors at all? You were supposed to die on the battlefield. I could have killed you. Then who would be in your place right now? -What did that even mean? Did I hear him right? Don't say anything wrong. Don't say anything wrong. Don't say anything wrong.

It was a constant stream, a constant repetition, like a muscle you couldn't help moving, over and over again. And to say Esredes was sick of it by this point would be an understatement. However, it wasn't like he had anyone to go to to talk about this, as he couldn't endanger someone with those talks again like last time. Which meant, he had to do it himself.

The next morning, Esredes tried something new. When he left the house, he focused only on the route to work. He didn't look to any passerbys at all, just the route ahead and the signs he passed by. The whole time, it felt like a dull pound in the back of his head. What if someone is following you. What if someone is trying to kill you. You know they would try, even in broad daylight. Still, he pushed forward, the pace of his thoughts slowed to that dull and limited thumping. The streets were just streets, the people were just people, there was no lurking evil spilling forth unto the world, not at this moment. It was just Ishgard. It was just home, for all it was good or bad. Right?

He pushed the door open to work and let out a sigh of relief. Saldis must be in the break room. Why did that plant move to the other side of the desk?

Slow, slower again. It was like he could hear the world around him once more, quiet as it was. Esredes greeted Heilyn in the hall as he passed by. Why does Heilyn's hair always look so bad.

He set everything up and began to get to work, which always helped to dull the thoughts down to a near nothing. It hadn't been a miracle on the street today, but it had worked, to some degree. But it's dangerous. What if someone stabs me.

portrait practice with my main TES ocs

Missed an inktober post this week so here's a double one!