Hierarchy had always been a normal thing in Dazai’s life. Mori was the head of the Port Mafia, and he ordered the executives and everyone underneath around. Dazai, being an executive, ordered his subordinates such as Akutagawa around, and it continued so on.
When he first joined the Detective Agency, there still was a hierarchy, albeit a very loose one. Everyone respected the president with different levels of respect between the employees, but there was a level of familiarity and friendship that was all too rare back at the Mafia.
Dazai was somewhat familiar with the concept of friendship. Back in the Mafia, Sakunosuke was no doubt one of his closest friends. He supposed Ango was also his friend, although their relationship was a little thin. And Chuuya. Chuuya would kill him if he heard him saying that he was his friend. Maybe they weren’t friends. Just partners, nothing more, and Dazai supposed it didn’t matter anyway. He was no longer one with the Mafia, but one with the Agency.
Kunikida always gave him the air that he hated him, always berating him for every little thing. It was probably closer to annoyance than hatred, Dazai realized. It was simply how their relationship, their friendship if he dared to say, was. Anyway, it was normal that they were close, since they were partners.
The berating was... familiar. Not quite the same, but not fully different either. But perhaps that was what got him so comfortable with Kunikida in the first place.
Ranpo was a little too intuitive. He was smart in figuring out riddles, cases, using information given to fully understand a situation. Dazai used the information against the enemy, manipulating the chessboard into a setting best for him while predicting the enemy's movements. Ranpo no doubt already had Dazai figured out somewhat at the very least, no matter how much Dazai tried to hide. They were friends, Dazai supposed, but he could never be fully comfortable around such a person.
Yosano also saw right through him, but not as Ranpo did. She saw every flinch and wince of a paper cut or an unhealed wound. Hospitals and medical rooms weren't pretty, and Dazai liked to steer clear of them if it was possible. However, with Yosano, it simply wasn't possible. He had to either hide well or give up and follow her and listen to her scolding for far too long. Perhaps they were friends, he supposed, but probably more so of a doctor and patient relationship.
Their dear president, the top of the hierarchy, Fukuzawa, simply could not be his friend, unlike his coworkers. The president had never tried to be Dazai's friend and it simply wasn't Dazai's place to offer friendship either. He always had to lay low, have a good opinion from the president, but never be impulsive in front of him. But perhaps Fukuzawa was less so of a boss but more so of a... guardian. Not as far as a father, but a guardian. Dazai had to constantly remind himself at the beginning of his time with the Agency that Fukuzawa and Mori were two very different people.
It had taken a little adjusting, moving from the Mafia to the Agency, as they were two different organizations. Sakunosuke had told him to move to the side that saved people, and Dazai didn't regret following through with his wish.
Sometimes, though, he liked to look back at what life was like at the Mafia.
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He had been fully adjusted to life at the Agency for a while now, accepting a few new members. The first was Atsushi, the second being Kyouka.
Atsushi was intriguing and so so trustful of Dazai. Dazai had grown accustomed to doing "kind" acts, and when Atsushi saved him from the river, although he had been trying to drown, he had to repay him with something(although it was with Kunikida's money, eventually). He learned that Atsushi was an orphan, and Dazai couldn't ignore him after he was abruptly reminded of Sakunosuke's goals. Dazai liked Atsushi, and whether he was Atsushi's friend or mentor or coworker, Dazai would be fine with it. After all, relationships had to go both ways.
Kyouka was from the Mafia, just like Dazai. She was quiet, mostly talking to Atsushi with small conversations with the other members of the Agency. Dazai had chatted with her a little, and although they were different in so many ways, he had one thing he shared with her and her alone. Their relationship with the Mafia was in the past, but it would never be fully buried, sticking back up at times even when they didn't want it to do so. Kyouka hated the Mafia, but she was brave and faced her past when necessary, which Dazai admired.
His suicide attempts had grown to be halfhearted. It wasn't healthy to still be somewhat in the mindset he had always been since he was young, but at least he was starting to walk away from it. Dazai had always tried to find the meaning of life since it brought nothing but pain and unwanted problems. Death was probably like sleeping, quiet and comfortable, so much better than living. So why was he walking away from suicide?
"Dazai-san! Kunikida-san is looking for you for a meeting!"
Dazai opened his eyes to look over at Atsushi bounding over to him, his face covered with urgency but his steps light and carefree. It seemed as if his reminiscing needed to come to an end. Kunikida was always annoyed with him no matter what he did, but it was just how things were between them, not a bubbling animosity. He had changed a lot, Dazai realized, from when he first joined the Agency. He still wasn't fully good at heart, but he was softer, more carefree, almost an entirely new person.
Dazai closed his eyes again to go back to dying. Why was he walking away from death again when it still seemed so tempting?
He supposed that small steps were fine, as could turn back anytime. Dazai stretched a little before opening his eyes again, standing up from the nice shade under a tree. He looked back at the Agency once before looking at Atsushi.
"Actually, I think I'll pass! I don't really want to sit through an entire meeting. I also have some new suicide methods I want to try out."
He could feel Atsushi's wild panic, slightly afraid of what Kunikida would possibly do and also for Dazai's suicide attempts, but Dazai wasn't worried. It would pass like it always did like an untold but always followed rule between them. He would always be back for the familiar scolding of Kunikida.
