#sad warning

I lost myself in work and school at the beginning but its hitting now, when final projects are starting to pick up.

before i came back i remember sitting in the patch of flowers at the front of the ruins, looking up at the sky after the barrier broke. azzy was sitting beside the flowers just in front of me (he couldn’t see me cause i was still a ghost at this point), holding his locket in his hand and crying. frisk had just walked away and was heading back for the castle. asriel opened his eyes and looked down at the flowers and quietly said “we did it, chara. our plan worked. everyone is free.” then smiled a little, then he paused for a second, said bye, and got up and walked away

---

Still estranged from my friends. That Friend has made efforts to be friendly towards me and like repair our friendship, but I hate him and I'm cutting myself off from our mutual friend group because I'm not okay with anything at the moment and I'm not going to be drawn back into an environment where he can hurt me.

I don't think he's hurting me intentionally, I think he's making a genuine effort to reconnect with me, but what he's done has hurt me more than anything he's ever done in our friendship before and it only emphasises how much less of a person I feel like around him.

The downside is that now I have no irl friends.

My birthday's coming up in August, which is depressing enough, but I don't even have any friends to take my mind off of how fucking depressing it is. I have a parent I care about, with a sack of shit who makes me feel unwelcome in my own home. That's it. And it's on a Monday, so I can't even go to the bar.

-

"Sans, would you like to join us at the park? Everyone is going to be there!" Papyrus waited at the door for his answer.

Sans looked over his shoulder at him, then turned his fuzzy gaze away for a moment before looking back at him, "nah, we're good." 

And went back to doing nothing.

Papyrus reluctantly nodded, even though Sans wasn't looking, "alright. I'll see you soon brother."

Click.

…

"Heh, you always say that."

…

"Yeah, well, I have tons of fun hanging with you anyway."

...

Sans chuckled.

-

The table was quiet as always.

…

"Heh, he said hi, bro."

Papyrus smiled, "well hello to you too, friend." Not knowing where else to look, he looked at Sans' stomach.

…

"Heheh, good one."

Sans continued to eat.

…

Papyrus turned back to his plate with a concerned smile as Sans chuckled quietly to himself.

-

It was nighttime, Sans was in his bed, laying down on one side. He was curled around his stomach, both arms wrapped around his middle as he slept.

…

"Hey you're back!"

"Of course I am, I'd never miss another night with you." Sans settled beside him, and leaned against his side.

He laughed, "right, of course you wouldn't. I appreciate it though, it gets pretty lonely…"

Sans squished himself harder against him, "hey. I'm here now, so don't be souring the mood."

Sam nodded, "you're right. Now, wanna hear a few more stories?"

-

Papyrus was getting more and more worried with each passing day. His brother would constantly talk to himself, refuse to use the other hand placed on his stomach, and always refer to himself as "we".

Not to mention, Sans was almost always asleep now. It was quite rare to ever see him awake.

It might be time they talked.

…

"Sans?" Papyrus walked into the living room to find Sans asleep on the couch, curled on himself.

He thought about what he was about to do long and hard.

…

He shook Sans' shoulder gently and stood back as his brother groaned quietly.

"....Papyrus..?" He muttered, sitting up and using one hand to rub his eye socket.

"Hello, Sans. I….I was wondering if you had time to….talk."

Sans curled a little more on himself, "y'know, we do. But uh, wish you woulda waited a bit longer before…"

…

"Heh, alright." He looked up at Papyrus, "what didja need?"

He wrung his hands, but then took a seat on the couch, "...Sans. I wanted to address Sam."

He smiled, "why didn't you say so?" Sans pulled up his shirt to show his ribcage, "here ya go."

Papyrus' frown deepened, and he really didn't want to be the bearer of such bad news.

Even if the news isn't new.

"....yes, well...Sam…………..he's dead." He cringed at his own words and looked at Sans, but his face hadn't changed in the slightest.

…

"Heh. Whadda mean?"

Papyrus hoped Sans was talking to him, "Sam has been dead for two years...….he was killed by the human terrorists, Sans…"

Sans' smile looked strained, "I dunno what you're talking about, bro. He's right here." He gestured to where his stomach would be, to open air.

"...Sans-"

"I absorbed his soul, don't you remember Paps? I'm using my magic to keep his safe, see?" Sans gestured again toward the empty air in his middle.

"Sans, monsters don't have that kind of magic."

Sans twitched and shuddered, dropping his shirt.

Papyrus reached out to comfort him, but Sans disappeared before he could.

-

He landed in bed, clutching his stomach. Sam was in there, his soul was fine, Sans was fine, Papyrus was alive, they were alive, the terrorists never existed-

"Heheheh..." He laughed to himself at how ridiculous the situation was.

Papyrus was so funny, making up stories. He was supposed to be the one that told the stories.

"Heheheheheheheh…"

He could tell Sam was laughing with him, finding the situation just as hilarious.

"Hahahahahahahahah!" He laughed so hard it hurt.

Tears rolled down his cheeks at how much it hurt.

It hurt so much.