No worries, I'm not someone for stupid ideas. But I feel just matter-of-factly done with how things go for me (or more precisely, how things go to shite for me), and I am so exhausted mentally.

My life is garbage, our society is garbage, our 'praised' social system is garbage, too. Listen, if you have mental issues, an apprenticeship you hate, shitty graduations and are poor, our 'great social system' is not great or helpful. At all. I am stuck for years, stuck in a state of stagnation, and every fucking time I find something exciting I'd love to do as a job? Naaah can't do for 2335455 stupid reasons.

I am getting more bitter, more frustrated and more angry every passing week and there is no real break from it anymore. I do a great thing for a few hours? Well, 10 minutes after that I am somehow angry or frustrated again. I am tired of it all fam. And I hate how it feels like our entire society is like this. Angry, frustrated... divided.

I am 40. Too young to do nothing, too old for anything else. When ppl tell me to be more positive, I stare them in the eyes like... what am I even positive or hopeful anymore when I just get disappointed again anyway? I try to laugh it off to cope, but I don't do great.