#s5e04

Lacey: You know, Brent, I’m a little more concerned about you getting pushed around by this guy.

Brent: Yeah, I ordered a new one. It should be here soon.

Lacey: Okay, are you just making up my side of this conversation?

I’ll be quick...I promise. Now I’ve reached that stage in which I’m really struggling with myself not to binge watch it (as I did with season 1 and 2). I mean, it’s really hard because on the one hand the show it’s so captivating that I just can’t get enough of it, while on the other, I dont want it to end because...how am I supposed to go on with my life then?! How am I supposed to overcome the abandonment issues once it’s over?!

So, this episode deals not only with the controversial book which exposes the town people private lives and faults, but also with religion and the impact it has on someone’s life, on the choices a person makes and how they make them. I know Jean is in a very difficult position and it’s all so terribly hard for her, but I loved how they showed it. It starts with a kind of “outside” view or perspective (as this word - and other linguistic terms referring to the eyesight- recurs more than once in the episode) to probably show how we are perceived from others. And Jean when we first see her is looked at very closely during mass. It must be clear now what’s going on between her and Lucien and people in church can’t help but see her as unworthy (not that I agree with them but one must always take into consideration the time period and Jean’s position in that town) and I feel so bad for Jean because she feels that way, too. She doesn’t walk with her back straight and chin up and takes communion and she’s always done, despite the rumours she had always faced. But she’s clearly uncomfortable and she wouldn’t do anything to upset the other parishioners (and surely also herself in the process)...she just leaves and I don’t think it’s a decision she takes lightly. The feeling of being unworthy is the same that plagues Eve and their exchange at the hospital is so very touching. Jean comforting her and saying that the god she believes in basically loves everyone with our faults and all, I think it’s coming from a deep reflection Jean is coming to terms with. She loves Lucien, she can’t deny it and she knows that he loves her more than anything but the only chance that has been given them to be together is obviously a marriage outside the church and well, for her it is difficult. (Why should god condemn the love between two people?) She’s conflicted, but now there’s a more pressing issue at hand: Lucien’s divorce or better how to get it. Lucien doesn’t want to ruin her reputation while Jean preferring always practicality argues that people are whispering behind their back anyway, they always had and they probably always will. And she’s right that he cannot risk his reputation either, because he’s the town doctor and the police surgeon and he loves doing what he does and what will happen if that is going to be taken away from him because he wants to expose himself?

Being the freight train he is, he’s already written it, just like that. And she can’t believe it! But she makes him promise he won’t do anything stupid and when he embraces her, he has “that” look upon his face that reminds me of when he decided to confront Alderton...when he promised her to make things right...I don’t like it, not one bit!

And as friggen PSYCHED as I was seeing it played out and not through tumblr gifs (and there was much squealing and writhing on my couch and repeating of the scene) and honestly the sheer EXCITEMENT on Jake’s face when he told Amy to read the belt??? Ugh hellllll yes I am here for that pure fracking JOY!!! The fact that Amy kept saying he couldn’t surprise her...

GURL HE DONE PROVED YOU WRONG!

Surprise

The fact that he proposed where they had their first real kiss, on a night so special to them both and the squad, and the reason he knew it was time to propose was as simple as looking over at Amy as she identified a spelling mistake on a crossword in outrage while in bed just chilling together on a normal evening, with ALLLLLL of the heart eyes...

AND knew the exact date?!?!?!? THAT WAS ALL AMAZING AND I LOVED IT!!!

However my absolute favourite part of the whole episode was that Charles was the first one to find out and his reaction to the whole thing...

Mmhm.

And you said..???

And they don’t even need to say words...and this has literally made Charles’s life COMPLETE.