“he wants to know now that he is the patriarch of their family, Sam will submit to him. he doesn't want that submission to be shared with John.”
yes! and there’s actually such interesting subtext to it. i’ve been thinking about that one scene from playthings where sam says “he (john) was right to say it” and dean angrily reacts “yeah, well, dad’s an ass”. it’s giving “dad isn’t here anymore. but i am. i am the one you should listen/submit to. because i know what’s best for you. i am the one in control of you now”. definitely reminds me of their interaction in 5.16, sam’s “i finally got away from dad” and dean’s “he wasn’t the only one you got away from”. the way he immediately makes it about himself. yeah it’s definitely about competition with john
also another interesting example is from 4.13:
dean: i’m gonna rip his lungs out! sam: it’s not a big deal dean: not a big deal? sammy, look at yourself. if dad was here — sam: he’s not
dean: well, i am!
he wants to replace john in sam’s eyes so bad it’s not even subtext it’s blatant text. which makes the wincest dynamic so much more twisted & delicious ♡
the 04.13 exchange is making me unwell bcs this! this is it! he make the decisions when dad's not around. he decides the next course of action. it was set up so early on, so glad you brought it up
yeah it's blatant text, that's what gets me riled up when people say dean doesn't become a john variant later on. it's essential to his development that he shares traits with his dad. there are 2 mechanisms that the narrative utilizes to bind sam at dean's side. one is dean's excessive need for authoritative control over the lives of everyone he is close to (sam, bobby, lisa, cas) and sam's own guilt by hurting his closed ones by actions he did that (coincidentally) questioned their authority.
and I dont want to make it sound like sam doesnt doesn't love dean, he absolutely does. but its established that sam has the capacity to exist separately despite so. in fact, he wants to. but he doesn't leave. sometimes its covert, most times its overt that dean needs to "watch over sam" (like after seeing the endverse)
and playthings ofc is a gift that keeps giving. how quickly dean jumps to speak against john is fascinating. this is a man, who would ignore, refute or deny any claims from sam that painted john in negative lights, is now stewing in mourning and resentment. (yes, I do believe he was resentful. john left their family and dean, who views leaving your family as the crime of crimes, could not accept this.) to negate the absolute hurricane of emotions in his life, he puts focus on taking control of the thing closest to him, his sammy. (god i could talk forever about how he clutches to this control for stability throughout the show)
he has already set the reality that he will save sam. it is highly inconvenient to him that sam, now of all times, is putting 2 cents to john's words when dean is right there. keep your eyes here sam, trust me, put your faith in me. I am saying I will save you, that is the only reality you need to trust now.
the vibe of "i am the bedrock of your reality" reminds you of something else?
i also mentioned in another post that dean is insecure about his position in sam's life. he doesn't like losing sammy to even his father. in dean's perspective of their childhood in flashbacks, we only see what dean does for sam. these are at the forefront of his mind. these are his validity documents for his claim on sammy. how no one can know him better. not john, not ruby, not amelia. none of them know what's good for sammy, especially not sam.
(if I had more time I'd go back to "houses of the holy" and examine why dean didn't take well to sam's faith in the divine from a wincest lens)
