#ryanjoel

Frustrated when the words wouldn't erase, he brought his journal back to his Dad, trying to hide the hole he’d made in the top from treating the paper too roughly. Ryan didn't get in trouble but he did get told he should never try to erase any golden letters again. That they were words of wisdom from his soulmate, and he should try to listen to them whenever he could because that’s how Dad found Mom. Ryan did, however, get in trouble for asking if Dad hadn't kept listening to the words and that’s how Mom was lost.

Math is like walking- it takes baby steps before you can run but you’ll be acing it before you know it.

In Fourth Grade, the gold writing showed up again as he was taking a test. He’d studied all night for it (he’d stayed up as long as his Dad had let him, going over his old homework because he wanted to get it right) but as soon as the test had been in front of him, Ryan had gotten nervous. This test was important- that’s what his teacher kept saying. It was really important and they all needed to pass it as a class or else. He’d learned that when a teacher said “or else” it meant the same thing as when Dad said “because I said so.”- you weren't allowed to ask questions after it. Ryan didn't quite understand what his soul mate was trying to say, but having the words with him while he tried to work out the hard math problems made him feel better all the same. When he found out that he passed the test, he thanked his golden one quietly and kept his 100% test on the wall just above his bed.

Romeo, oh Romeo, why the fuck are you so useless horny Romeo?

Goldie’s comments on his English homework were the only thing that got him through reading what they’d all called the most romantic tragedy of Shakespeare’s. He didn't see the romance in it personally- Romeo just wanted a fuck and Juliet was the chick stupid enough to fall for it. Forbidden love, the class called it, and Ryan frowned. No love could be formed in a day. Love was something that grew- that started without your notice and only got worse until one day it blind sided you. Or, at least, that’s how he thought of it. Still, reading Romeo and Juliet was always worth it to get the next line of gold mocking Juliet’s lines.

The Prom is an event, but going anywhere with your friends is an experience.

Senior year was coming to an end and Ryan was ready for it. Ready to leave high school behind, to move on to college and avoid the drama of those who weren't quite children but weren't ready to be adults either. Despite popular belief, he actually wasn't afraid for his first steps into the adult world. He’d been preparing for it so long that he hardly worried about it- not when he knew exactly where he was going and what he was doing with back up plans to spare. Unfortunately, not all of his friends were as ready as he was. His girlfriend certainly wasn't and had been asking him about Prom nonstop for two weeks now. He wasn't sure he wanted to go- it’d be $80 spent just to walk in the door- that’s before the gas, outfits, dinner before, etc. All that to go to a dance where they’d be watched closely by teachers who would refuse to let them do whatever they wanted. They’d be constantly bothered, constantly told what to do, and constantly told how this would be their last great memory together. Ryan didn't like the idea at all, so he’d written a pros and cons list for it. To his surprise, his answer came from gold lettering that pasted itself obnoxiously over his own words. Any dance would be nice, but time spent with those that they’d likely never see again- that was what would make the night special. In the end, they just spent the night at his best friend’s, talking about the future and the past under the stars together.

Coffee replaces sleep, but not rest.

Sometimes, Ryan hated that soulmate sentences weren't erasable. He had to turn in an essay that clearly showed his World History professor that he wasn't sleeping enough. The pitying look he received for the rest of the week was awful- god damnit he was an adult. He knew how to take care of himself. Sleep could be caught up during the weekend- after his test. Tests. He couldn't even really remember which classes he still had tests in. Just that he needed another cup of coffee because he still had a lab report to write and a program to debug. A few days later, when his essay was handed back, he frowned at the comment telling him that he should listen to his soulmate- they cared for his safety. Ryan had never even met the person behind the golden letters how could they care for him?

A job is not always so clearly defined.

For the first time in a long time, Ryan was confused by the words that appeared in gold. He’d been writing a quite note to Gus about the computers in the back room when they’d appeared, and he couldn't make any sense out of them. Intrigued, he folded the note and tucked it into his pocket, only to forget about it as he was pulled aside by Geoff and asked to help them set up for a let’s play. To his surprise, after he helped set up he was asked to join and found himself enjoying every moment. It wasn't long after he was “officially” an Achievement Hunter. The note was long forgotten by then, left in his jean’s pants pocket to be torn apart by the washer and destroyed by the dryer.

Ryan honestly hadn't expected to ever actually find someone who had the messy hand writing that kept appearing in his life. He had just figured that it wasn't very likely, since soul mates weren't exactly a proven thing anyways. Yet, he found it. At work even. While delivering a note from Jack to “just toss on Joel’s desk or something he’s not answering his fucking phone”, he ran into the very hand writing that had been helping him his entire life. Joel was his soulmate. The proof was right there in front of him and despite his disbelief in the whole thing, he found himself awed. He had a soulmate. He actually had a living being to match himself.

The smallest of his hopes were immediately crushed out the moment he noticed the green words over one of Joel’s hastily scribbled notes. That wasn't his own hand writing. It wasn't Joel’s, and it wasn't Ryan’s- he was pretty sure it was Gavin’s. Sighing, he scolded himself for even thinking about soul mates in the first place. For letting himself get wrapped up in the idea like Juliet after Romeo proposed. Soulmates weren't real, love wasn’t handed out at birth, and he had always known that. Not that it helped the way his heart sunk or the way his eyes couldn't seem to leave the green words- as if he could change them by staring long enough.

Eventually, he remembered why he was there and threw the note down before leaving the office hastily. He didn't belong lingering in there, after all. Ryan belonged at his desk in the warehouse, writing down notes for editing as he watched videos for Fails and absolutely ignored the way breathing was slightly harder than it should be. He had no right to feel disappointed, no reason to be upset, and no justification for the way he had to keep blinking to see clearly.