#russian candy

(Note: I intended to take pictures of the actual sweets but I was so lost in savouring them that I forgot ffffffff and I really want to save them and eat them slow. So I’m going to do this scrapbook style, with the wrappers folded out to show what they look like. I collect exotic sweet wrappers so this serves me well, but I think I’ll include pictures of конфеты proper in the next installment of this review as a supplement.)

Сушки (Sushki)

This was on the top layer of the parcel you sent, @absolut--kurant! It’s the first thing I took out when I unwrapped the box, and accordingly the thing I surveyed for the longest as I sorted all the other delicacies.

From what I understand, the relationship of these мини-сушки to full size is that of mini pretzels to actual pretzels. Mini pretzels usually have so much rock salt tossed on them I don’t enjoy them half as much as soft pretzels - but these, I loved. These sushki are smooth and glazed with a faint yeasted aftertaste. Provided that they aren’t too heavily salted or spiced, I actually love dry flour-and-water-based foods like these. I get through packages of cream crackers, water crackers, and hardtack faster than I do any kind of cookie. I don’t even need to put cheese on them or anything, they’re moreish on their own.

Sushki taste of savory and nutrition. I just took one more out to sample while I was writing this section and then ended up grabbing five more. God save me. Also this is one of the very few things in the parcel with English labeling on the back, so I was perfectly informed of what this contained 😂

“Красная Шапочка” - Красный Октябрь (Red Riding Hood - Red October)

This sounds strange, but here goes: part of the unreality of Russian sweets for me was the way they are folded. That triangular-tipped fold is something I have literally never seen anywhere else. That’s probably why I picked up this one first - I saw there are other конфеты available with that fold, which I will sample in the next review - and examined it.

The fold was simpler than I thought it was. I’d always assumed it was some kind of tucked-in origami.

As for the chocolate itself: I expected solid chocolate, but was surprised by the wafer inside the chocolate shell. Russian chocolate is noticeably of different quality than British. Much smoother, I think, with a darker edge and a deeper flavour. The wafers were laid with some kind of nutty praline and it was a gorgeous thing to nibble. Are there конфеты that are especially good to take with tea, perchance? This was a good one for a quick dip.

“Халва в шоколаде” - Рот Фронт (Halva in Chocolate - Rot Front)

hello russian language reading skills please interact

I spent several minutes trying to read this wrapper and didn’t get far. I should learn cursive; this exercise showed me that I really am functionally illiterate in this language outside of print, because I can’t puzzle out the very frequent instances of cursive. At least it was obvious what was inside this chocolate. Халва couldn’t mean much else.

I love my halva, but I’m not versed in the different types. It took me ages to find a place that even sells them here, and it’s just the sesame variant. The halva inside this chocolate was very crumbly - but in a thicker, more tender way, not in thin layers like sesame halva tend to be. Brown, very sweet, extremely hearty. It’s one of the bigger конфеты in this package so I was satisfied.

I don’t know what type of halva it is, though. Some kind of nut?

Батончик - Рот Фронт (Batonchik - Rot Front)

WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT THE CHRIST ARE THESE THINGS???? WHY ARE THEY SO DELICIOUS?? WHERE CAN I BUY FIFTEEN HUNDRED KILOGRAMS OF THIS STUFF AAAA?aAa?aa??

This. This made me bolt upstairs and search for 1) what this was, and 2) where I could buy it in the UK. It’s like 2.29GBP for 250g and I’m honestly considering stocking up on these because these absolutely hit the spot.

I think I like pralines. I think I like pralines a lot.

According to my research these are peanut-cocoa praline rolls. They’re not covered in chocolate themselves, but the mouthfeel is so incredible I was enchanted from the first bite. Elegant and soft. It also has one of the few Russian sweet wrappers I recognized (only in terms of visuals - I am unversed as to what’s actually in them), red and gold. I might have actually read the ‘red and gold’ descriptor in a book, too, some months ago. I only can imagine this ascertains their popularity among Russians.

There’s a Russia Beyond recipe for those. I might follow it.

“Маска” - Красный Октябрь (Mask - Red October)

I think I like Russian pralines a lot.

Batonchiki-like filling covered with a thin layer of luxurious chocolate. I think maska must be a different kind of praline, though, it feels lighter somehow; batonchiki feel denser to me. I return again to the comment on the quality of Russian chocolate again for this one, because this is the конфета that helped define what feels so different between Russian and British chocolate. To me, it feels that the standard quality of British chocolate has fallen in recent times, and Russian chocolate reminds me of the time when it was good.

Don’t get me wrong. Fine brand name chocolates have always been available here, and they were always of excellent quality. Nobody’s complaining about the posh M&S truffles or the Rococos or the Artisan du Chocolat. The UK is not lacking in excellent chocolates or chocolatiers with flourishing personal businesses. But the quality of everyday chocolates, the sort from Cadbury and the like, that has fallen ever since Kraft took over a lot of chocolate makers here. I remember when Dairy Milk was sold in vibrant royal purple wrappers with thick, mouth-watering squares weighing easily 500g per bar. Now it’s dozens of flavours but with very thin, mediocre chocolate. The perils of selling out.

I think Russian chocolate hasn’t done that. I’d have had to experience the Soviet life to follow the full continuity of these конфеты, of course, but they taste more legitimate to me. These are some fine chocolates. Though now I’m thinking of that ‘Russian chocolate with a horse magnet inside’ post and wondering what that one’s all about

Guest of Honour: Зефир (Zefir)

It is her ; w ; I see that when your product consists of what is essentially jelly meringue, 250g holds quite a lot of zefir, given the size of this pack. This honorary mention is mostly to prove that these got to me fully intact.

I did not open the zefir at this time because I was concerned about how I would keep them. They seem to me the most perishable food, once opened, out of everything else in the parcel - and the weather here alternates rapidly between hot, cold rain, and humid-sticky at the moment. I have put the zefir away to rest in a nice cool dry place for now. They expire in August, so I will pick a cold afternoon in the next week or two to enjoy them for real. I will write a review about them, too.

Closing Words of Part 1

Overall, this made for an excellent tea break and an excellent treat for the tastebuds. I can’t wait to arrange the second teatime. I feel like I learnt quite a lot, too - I first encountered the word конфет(ы) in Duolingo, where they’re translated simply as ‘candy’ (e.g. ‘Купи конфеты, пожалуйста’ is translated as ‘buy candies, please’). I thought very little of this. Like... you know, candy.

These things.

Surely you mean these things.

these things??????

But turns out, no, конфеты did not mean these things. I don’t know what a fitting English translation would be for them now. ‘Buy candies, please’ is one level of abstraction, but ‘buy this very particular subset of Russian confectionery, often chocolate-coated and in bar form, that are sold individually wrapped in paper or foil, please’ is quite another. Some retailers seem to content themselves with ‘chocolate sweets’ (but batonchik doesn’t fall cleanly into that category) or just ‘sweets’, but none of these translations carry the nuance of конфеты proper. Something for me to think about.