#rufferee

@erinmcleod1: Where's a good Referee when you need one?

@draco-illius-noctis @thedosian-cabbage @apparentlyaveline

Happy Halloween from the puppers | 🐾

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Hey y’all, it’s Marty here with another great story! So last weekend I volunteered as a football little league rufferee. Now it may seem like a normal and mundane thing to do with your Saturday but trust me when I say that could not be any farther from the truth. Let me start from the beginning. When I woke up that morning I woke up only snuggling a pillow! My mommy had pushed me away from her when she woke up and so I woke up without any snuggles. I should have recognized this as a sign that I should just cancel my plans and stayed in. However, Milo already had plans for the day and I did not want to stay home all by my lonesome, so I just decided to go ahead and go. So, my mommy took me to the fields and dropped me off. My second mistake of the day, I really should have begged her to stay. The reason why you ask? Well simply because football little league mothers are the absolute worse! In particular Kevin’s mom Karen, she was just an awful person. At one-point Kevin wrongfully rushed the other teams’ quarterback. I called this and gave Kevin’s team a 10-yard penalty. Pretty usual right? Well apparently not. When I made the call, Karen marched over and it looked like she had steam coming out of her ears! She was so red from anger she looked like a perfectly ripened tomato. When she got to me she was definitely using her outside voice, and I did not appreciate it. I told her as such and she told me to get the f*** over myself. She also said that her baby would never wrongfully rush and if I did not reverse the call I made I would live to regret it. I am not too manly to admit that I was a little scared at first, but I got myself together to be able to respond to this vile woman. I told her that I was just a volunteer rufferee and that if she did not like the calls I made than she can take the time every week to volunteer and let me sleep in and have the lazy afternoon I deserve. She looked at me baffled for a second and then just turned around and said that I was just a stupid mutt that needed to learn his place in the world. This upset me, but when the game was over I was walking through the parking lot and noticed that Karen’s stupid minivan was unlocked. Luckily for me Karen was still back on the field yelling at the coach about something and so I took my shot. I opened the driver’s side door, climbed in, and took a dump on her gas pedal. Have fun on the drive home Karen!

Simba - as a Rufferee for Halloween