#ruddy cheeks

I'm still waiting for a few beta readers before doing a final pass on Weald and Wen, then it's an itch.io and Draft2Digital release for it with the bookmark designs sold separately as stickers when I can find a printer. These are not things happening anytime soon, but I want it to be my first published novel.

I should maybe try to get more published before then though. Specifically the horror shorts, as I can clearly write those quickly when motivated. But I'm not motivated.

I am the opposite of motivated. I'm feeling like it is impossible for this to be the career I want it to be and I already make so little I don't feel like I'm contributing to my household. In fact I feel like a burden because all I do is cost money.

The filth isn't motivating either. Fun as it is, it is really difficult to market unless you're in those circles and I am more on the edge of them. How I write it doesn't even appeal to the vast majority of readers into the genre so I have no idea how to actually sell those.

So what do we have left?

Before Deluca; A 220k word fictional memoir written by a 350 year old vampire that'll require language help to revise and edit, help I can't afford. Or 'Bloodhound'; the novel it ties into, which leads into a series, and will also need language help.

Pale Blood; A 160k word absurdist urban fantasy novel with cyberpunk undertones and a heavy romance subplot that is the first of a trilogy, none of the books have the same main characters but the same world and narrator. It needs to be revised again because the narrator is too much and gave the series' mystery away midway through the first book.

Beliegered; A horror romance that was meant to be a novella but is looking like a full novel now and might fall into the erotica category. Which, again, hard to market.

Maine or Dust; A horror comedy novel about vampires on a road trip. I've barely anything in it but a lot of notes.

Gravedust; A horror comedy novel about a reaper dealing with a serial killer granny. Also not much in there.

Ruddy Cheeks; A very personal and painful horror coming of age novel about a preteen girl, a horrible thing she experienced, and the worse thing she does about it. There's a chapter or two of this one.

Wish Thief; A horror fantasy novel about a gremlin that steals wishes. Maybe a paragraph for this one is in there.

A Walk; A first person novella(maybe) about becoming a vampire with a genuine horror tone to it. I've not written much in this one as I keep losing the plot.

Tag, you're it; A first person novella about someone watching you with clear plans to hurt you in some terrible fashion. Also not much in this one.

Mr. Friendly; The children's book I'll need a new name for (which would put me at three names for writing purposes) because I don't think one should mix that sort of thing with my usual work. It's actually close to drafted though.

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Notice how many of those are novels, which I don't want to release before Weald and Wen.

But maybe I should. All but Before Deluca are shorter, easier reads. I'm not saying content-wise here, as my subjects trend to the fucked up but they're not the 'chewy prose' I'm told Weald and Wen is. So, easier.

My head hurts and I'm terribly depressed about publishing right now so I apologize for the rambling. I just...needed to ramble I think.

If you creatures find any of those titles interesting feel free to ask about them (and I'll tag in case I posted stuff already--I forget).