#a walk

I'll work on them all eventually, this is my 'finish this year' list, but my brain is an egg frying in a pan set far too high.

Because of that I've not written many trans characters. I have a few on the sidelines in things, who told me in fun ways and I had to go with it, but none front and center.

None have yelled at me... yet.

There is a very good chance the vampire horror standalone novel thing will end up being the one that yells at me. My brain keeps mixing pronouns when writing and they keep changing certain details. It's why I'm stuck. I don't know who they are and they don't either. I know they're ace, this has been thoroughly determined through certain lines, and a plot-point they screamed at me about until I removed it, but the gender is confused and I don't think nonbinary is the reason this time.

All I know is whatever they're transitioning to, they haven't yet. They are in the process of and it is why they are alone when attacked. Their neighbors love them, they're in a good enough place mentally, but family and many of their friends abandoned them.

So there's that and also the dysphoria of not being what they want yet.

I've had dysphoria but it wasn't gender related... exactly. I have an unhealthy relationship with my body in general and grew up in a confusing household where traditional gender roles were reversed and yet enforced and in opposing and irrational ways. I've never quite understood gender because of it.

Helpful in the writing here but missing important nuance.

That's a big one to figure out as this character won't be able to change their body in any meaningful way because vampire. Anything they were taking to transition won't work anymore, any surgeries done after would revert immediately. So they'll be stuck in a not-quite-there state, looking by all accounts androgynous for how smoothed in some cases and exaggerated in others certain features become for them.

But they can manipulate perception.

Raising the question, would the perception of others aid in changing your own? If you could make the world see you the way you wanted to be, would it be enough or do you have to see it too?