You know that moment every writer has when you open an old draft and physically recoil. Like, oh my god, was I really proud of four years ago?
I just did that.
I opened the very first version of my thriller, the one I published years ago, then quietly took down because I was ashamed of it.
I went in ready to cringe, ready to laugh at how bad it was, ready to tear my past self apart like I’ve done so many times before.
But this time… I couldn’t.
Because suddenly I saw her.
That scared, hopeful girl who taught herself English through fanfiction, whose German tongue still tripped over every sentence, who had no idea what she was doing but poured her entire trembling heart into that story anyway.
She was so proud of it.
So proud.
Every criticism cut her like glass, but she kept writing. She showed up anyway.
And tonight, looking at her work, all I felt was this deep, aching tenderness in my chest.
God, I wanted to reach back through time and hug her. Tell her not to listen to the voices that said she wasn’t good enough. Because without that scared, hopeful, overly-emotional version of me… I wouldn’t exist now. I wouldn’t be rewriting it. I wouldn’t be any better at all.
So if you’re an author sitting there, scrolling through your old fics or old novels, biting your tongue at how “bad” they are…
Please. Be gentle.
That past version of you was so brave. They had nothing but passion and stubbornness and a dream, and they still dared to create. They took every criticism like a bruise and kept going anyway. They learned the ugly, painful way so you could be here now. Wiser, sharper, stronger.
They carried you on their back.
So instead of shame, give them pride. Instead of embarrassment, give them love.
Thank you for trying.
Thank you for bleeding.
Thank you for beginning when it would’ve been easier to stay silent.
I’m so proud of you, past you, present you, all of you.
You deserve softness, not shame.
And I promise, your old self would be proud of who you’ve become, too. 🧡
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A/N: Soooooo… since we have to wait again for the next episode, I decided to bring back my completely shameless smut one-shot AU where Jake is a hot gynecologist instead of a hacker.
Even in this universe, the MC still drives him absolutely feral.
This is 100% pure, filthy, no-plot-just-vibes smut meant to melt your brain and lighten the mood. Expect zero professionalism and maximum chaos in that treatment room. 😂
Enjoy… or laugh. Or both. I definitely won’t judge 🤭
TW: Explicit sexual content
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She sat nervously in her new gynecologist's waiting room. When her name was called, she nervously walked into treatment room 1. The moment she saw him, her pussy throbbed.
Doctor Jake Donfort was pure sin.
Tall, broad-shouldered, and ripped, his muscular arms straining against the sleeves of his white coat. That sharp, stubbled jawline looked like it could cut glass, and those intense crystal-blue eyes pinned her in place. She was instantly soaked.
Her filthy mind flooded with images of him bending her over that examination chair, ripping her legs apart, and pounding her dripping cunt until she screamed. By the time she sat down, she was already shamefully wet.
She told him she was only here for her annual check-up and had just moved to town.
"Then I would ask you to free yourself from above so that I can feel your breasts."
She went behind the screen, stripped off her top and bra, and stepped forward, timidly saying she was ready. Jake’s jaw clenched so hard it ticked.
Fuck. Stay fucking professional.
But the second those perfect tits were bare, full, soft, nipples already stiff and begging, his cock surged against his pants. He forgot the gloves completely. His big, warm hands cupped her immediately, groping and kneading far longer than necessary. He could feel her heartbeat racing under his palms, her nipples turning rock-hard as she shivered. Her breathing turned shaky, fresh slick dripping down her thighs. He rolled her nipples between his fingers, fighting the urge to suck them raw.
He bit back a groan. Control yourself, Donfort. She’s a patient… fuck, but look at these tits.
He cleared his throat, voice rough. "You can get dressed again," he said, still staring at her swollen nipples. "Please undress below."
When she dropped her pants and panties, Jake nearly came in his scrubs. That perfect, juicy ass, those thick thighs, and her completely smooth, puffy pussy glistening with arousal. She was a walking wet dream.
Jesus Christ, I want to bury my face in that cunt and drown.
He shook his head, fighting every filthy instinct. "Please put your legs on the supports."
She did, shy and spread wide for her first male gynecologist. Jake stood between her thighs and lost the last shred of sanity. Her pussy was perfect, plump outer lips, slick pink folds already parted, clit swollen and shiny. He spread her open with both thumbs, staring at her dripping hole like a starving man. He leaned in close, inhaling her sweet, musky scent until his head spun.
"Pretty—" He cleared his throat. "Um, I mean, it seems everything looks good."
He pushed one thick finger inside her soaked cunt and groaned under his breath. She was drenched. He pumped slowly, then faster, curling against her g-spot. When she moaned, his cock throbbed painfully. He couldn’t stop. A second finger joined, then a third, stretching her greedy hole while his thumb rubbed her clit in firm circles. He kissed and sucked on her inner thigh, leaving marks, finger-fucking her harder, loving how her cunt squelched obscenely around him.
"You feel so fucking good," he growled, professionalism long gone.
She smirked, voice breathy. "I know I’m your last patient for today."
He gulped. "I don’t know what you mean," he lied, still knuckle-deep in her pulsing pussy.
She clenched hard around his fingers. Jake snapped. He finger-fucked her mercilessly, three thick fingers slamming in and out, thumb grinding her clit until her hips bucked. He brought her right to the edge, then slowed, edging her cruelly, watching her hole flutter and leak all over his hand.
"Fuck this," he snarled. "Stay there."
He stormed out, sent his assistants home, and returned without the coat, black t-shirt stretched over his muscular chest, dark jeans barely containing the massive bulge. His eyes were black with lust.
He dropped to his knees, shoved her legs wider, and buried his face in her cunt. His tongue lashed her clit hungrily while he groaned at her taste, sweet, filthy, addictive. She screamed, clawing the leather. He lubed two fingers and shoved one into her tight pussy and one straight into her ass, fucking both holes while sucking her clit like a man possessed. She howled, thrashing.
He pulled his fat cock out and stroked it hard, moaning into her pussy. When she screamed "Jake!" and came violently, gushing all over his face, he stood up on the stool and slapped his heavy dick against her soaked folds.
“Beg, sweetheart.”
“Please, Doctor… Jake… fuck me. I need you inside me.”
He grabbed her hips, yanked her forward, and slammed into her in one brutal thrust, stretching her walls wide around his thick cock. She screamed in pleasure. He didn’t hold back, he railed her like an animal, hips snapping forward, balls slapping her ass with wet smacks. The chair squeaked violently under every savage thrust.
"Oh Jake, you feel so fucking good!"
He choked her hard, pounding deeper, watching her tits bounce. "That’s it, take every inch of my cock like a good girl. This pussy was made for me."
She was drooling, eyes rolling back. "Fuck, harder! Harder!"
Jake growled and gave her everything, brutal, deep strokes, grinding against her cervix, pulling out to the tip then slamming back in. He rubbed her clit relentlessly, edging her again and again, keeping her right on the brink while sweat poured down his chest. He changed angles, hitting that perfect spot over and over until she was a sobbing, shaking mess.
Her second orgasm exploded through her. Her cunt clamped down like a vice, milking him as she screamed his name and squirted all over his cock. Only then did Jake let go. With a feral roar he buried himself to the balls and unloaded, flooding her spasming pussy with thick, hot ropes of cum until it overflowed and dripped down her ass.
He pulled out slowly, admiring the creamy mess leaking from her wrecked hole. He helped her up, smiling almost shyly, but she yanked him into a filthy kiss which he gladly returned. Then she dropped to her knees, licked his cum-covered cock clean, and tapped the swollen head against her tongue.
"Delicious," she purred. "When will I get the test results?"
"Next week Tuesday 5:55 p.m., just before closing. Try to be late," he smirked.
She threw her soaked panties at him. "Keep them. Remember me when you’re checking other patients."
He grabbed her wrist, eyes dark. "Don’t worry. You’re the only one I’m investigating this thoroughly."
She swayed her hips as she left. Jake watched that perfect ass, already hard again.
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Tuesday, 5:59pm
"I'm so sorry, I'm late!" she apologized.
The assistant waved her through. She entered wearing a tiny skirt and tight white top. She deliberately dropped something, bent over slowly right in front of him, flashing her bare, dripping pussy.
"Let's talk about your results. For this I need a closer look. Take a seat," he said, patting his lap
His pants were already gone, massive cock rock-hard and leaking. She knelt, swirled her tongue around the fat head, then took him straight down her throat. Jake growled, fisted her hair, and fucked her face roughly. "Good girl. Swallow every inch of my cock. You take me so fucking well."
When he couldn’t wait anymore, he pulled her up, ran his fingers through her soaked folds, and growled, "Now sit on my lap. I need to redo your tests again. Last week’s results were inconclusive."
She smirked, turned around, and sank down on his cock reverse cowgirl, moaning as he stretched her open again. She rode him hard, ass bouncing, leaning back on his massive thighs while he gripped her hips and thrust up.
"And? Do you think today’s results will be better or do I need to come back next week?" she gasped, pussy clenching around him.
Jake bit her neck and growled into her ear, "Oh, you definitely need to come back next week… and the week after that… until this greedy cunt is properly tested."
I’ve been toying with the idea of bringing back my old one-shots. The ones I wrote in that post–Episode 10 haze when Duskwood had me completely unwell. Going through them again now feels a bit like opening a time capsule… except everything inside needs serious editing 😅
So that’s what I’ve been doing these past few days. Revisiting, rewriting, and trying to do these stories the justice they deserve. A few of them were actually reader requests back then, which means… yes, there are some rare ships lurking in the mix 🤭
