seen from Russia
seen from Australia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Singapore
seen from United Kingdom
seen from China
seen from Poland
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
seen from Germany
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from China
seen from China
seen from Macao SAR China
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from Maldives
seen from United States
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 (coming soon)
Title: Ruin The Friendship (mini-series)
Word-Count: 55,000+
Pairing: Jay Park/ Reader (kinda)
Summary: Best friends to lovers. Inspired by Ruin The Friendship - Demi Lovato.
Genre: Smutty Fluff
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Ruin The Friendship (part IX)
Title: Ruin The Friendship (mini-series) Part 9
Word-Count: 6.5k
Pairing: Jay Park/ Reader (kinda)
Summary: Best friends to lovers. Inspired by Ruin The Friendship - Demi Lovato.
Genre: Smutty Fluff
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8
It’s been a month since I’ve actually gotten to see Jay. A few days since we’d had an actual conversation last more than twenty minutes. For the last couple of nights, he’s been falling asleep almost as soon as he saw my face through Skype. As weird as it sounds, I’ve grown to anticipate falling asleep to the cute sounds he makes when he sleeps.
Every time I think I might get a weekend off, something comes up. It would be easy to just say no or pass it on to Bora but I can’t do that.
For what seems like the hundredth time this week, I’m scrolling through possible flights to the States with my planner in my lap. Junior jumps down from the headboard beside me as if he knows I’m going through some internal struggle.
“Next weekend, no matter what,” I say out loud to no one. The apartment seems completely empty lately, hallow almost. The first couple of days were hard, naturally. I’d roll over and the bed would be cold, or I’d wake up in the middle of the night needing Jay’s body against mine with no relief. It’s not like I can just call him when I’m needy, the time differences as he moves from city to city makes sure of that.
Junior climbs up on my laptop and lays down as if he knows I’m doing something Jay related. In his defense, he didn’t get to spend nearly enough time with him.
I reach out to grab him so I can shut my laptop and set it on the table beside me. My phone rings frightening Junior a little but he relaxes in Jay’s spot almost immediately.
“Hi,” I yawn as I slide beneath the duvet.
“Do you want me to call you later?”
Jay has been worried I’m not getting enough sleep again. Honestly, he’s not wrong. My schedule is once again thrown off with trying to keep up with time zones. I’ve been staying up later and later just to talk to my boyfriend, and in the morning I get up early so I can talk to him before he goes on stage. We’ve made up our own unspoken schedule that has been working for us. Still, he’s worried. I’m worried. It’s been a month. The three of us have long become restless.
“No, talk to me before I fall asleep,” I tell him. I reach out running my hand over Junior and close my eyes. “Can you FaceTime me?”
“Yeah, hold on baby,” I wait, pulling the duvet up to my chin.
His goofy smiling face fills my phone and I feel my heart ache just a little bit more. I rub my thumb over the screen, touching the compass, my compass.
He pushes his hair back out of his eyes and puts a hat back in place. He looks so happy, not at all the exhaustion I’d seen the first week of the tour. Then, I barely got more than a five-minute conversation before he passed out.
“How are you still so pretty so late at night,” he groans playfully.
I roll my eyes and prop the phone on his pillow so I can pull my arms beneath the sheets as well.
“What did you do today?” I ask him.
I watch him run his tongue over the corner of his lips before he starts telling me about his day so far. Interviews seem to be taking up most of his time. It’s a good thing, I guess. It’s exposure, exactly what a newly signed artist wants. I want it for him. He deserves for everyone to know his name.
“How are the shows?”
“Good,” he smiles. “They’re a little bigger but it’s still pretty intimate,”
There’s a pause in conversation as my eyes close. I don’t realize I’m drifting off to sleep until I hear what sounds like a shutter of a camera. I crack one eye open to see a guilty smile on my boyfriend’s face.
“Did you just take a picture of me?”
His smile widens. “You look calm for once in your life. Let me keep this moment,”
I laugh and shut my eyes again. “I miss your annoying ass,”
“I miss you too, baby. Call me when you get up,”
“Ok,” I promise.
Waking up to go to the office is harder than usual. I stay in bed an extra twenty minutes with Junior. When I can’t afford any more time, I grudgingly get up and get ready.
Bora is already at her desk when I get in. She shoots me one of her her ‘I know you’ve been up all night’ looks before stretching her hand out towards me.
“Good morning, sunshine. You look like a breath of fresh air,” she jokes.
I’ve done the bare minimum this morning; not bothering with my hair or makeup. I’m also wearing all black sweats.
“Thank you,” I sigh.
I take the outstretched cup from Bora and head to my desk. I set Junior down and he slinks over to Bora and snuggles under the blanket that’s on her lap and touches the floor. I swear that cat likes everyone more than me.
“We have to finalize the looks for the shoot you have next Wednesday, I already updated your portfolio for you, you’re welcome, the new stuff that Jay wanted came in, and he sent us a copy of the AOMG and H1ghrmusic promotions that are coming up in about a month and a half,” she finishes with a sip of her own coffee.
“Those shoots usually have their own stylists. What do we need to be there for?”
“You know how those guys are. They’re so picky about fashion. They want someone there to make sure everything is how they like it,”
I roll my eyes and make a mental note to tell my boyfriend that he’s become way too high maintenance. Still, I add everything to my schedule.
“That reminds me that we have to decide what we’re doing for the hip-hop awards. Three guys from AOMG are nominated, two from H1gher and that’s not including Jay. So we have to fit in six clients between now and December. Whether we want to pick up anyone else has to be decided this week,” I say.
Bora sighs and pulls her bottom lip between her teeth as she flips through her planner.
“I don’t know, Y/n. We’re already running this close. I say we’re done. We haven’t even met with the guys from h1ghermusic before to know what they’ll like,”
I shrug and make a note to decline any artists that emailed about us helping them with the award show. If there were more than two of us, we’d be able to handle it, but we’re barely managing as much traffic as it is now.
“Do you think we should hire another person?” I ask Bora.
She uses her pink pen to scratch at her scalp before taking a long sip of her coffee. I take the opportunity to elaborate.
“I just feel like we’ve been turning down a lot of people because we’ve been too busy. Maybe if we had another person we wouldn’t be spread so thin,”
“Honestly? I’m all for it, Y/n. You’ll be able to be with Jay more, Jin and I can finally get engaged and plan our wedding, I feel like we’re living our lives in this office,”
“I agree,” I say easily.
“Can we afford it?”
“We definitely can. I’ve been looking at our expenses and such which really isn’t that much, we’ll be ok,”
Bora smiles widely at me. “Great!”
“I was also wondering something else,” I say suddenly feeling nervous.
Her eyebrow pulls up.
“I was thinking, maybe you shouldn’t be my assistant anymore. You do as much work as I do if not more,”
Bora frowns. “What are you saying,”
“Let’s be business partners. You deserve to own half of this company,”
“You’re kidding right?”
I shake my head, waiting for her to give me an answer. She could say no. I wouldn’t fault her. There’s a lot of free time that goes into running a company even a small one like ours. But she’s been doing it.
“We have to go out to celebrate tonight,” she exclaims with a big smile.
I smile back at her. “So that’s a yes?”
“It’s a hell yes, Y/n. Thank you!” She comes over to my desk and wraps her arms around me from behind. I reach up and hug her back.
We do end up going out. We go to a small bar after work with Chae and her husband along with Jin. I can’t help but feel a little like the fifth wheel. Watching both couples move around each other, trade small glances that they think no one sees, I miss Jay even more.
“Not to ruin the mood,” Chae says, “but Elise keeps asking if she can talk to us,”
“No,”
“No,” Bora and I say the same time.
“I agree,” Chae says. “She says that she wants to settle with Haute magazine and can’t do it unless Y/n sides with her. I think they’re really getting her for a lot, and since it’s American court there’s also defamation charges that can be brought against her,”
I nod. “They’ve been in contact. I told them to do what they have to do. I can’t fly over though. They said they’ll get as much as they can done without me and try to avoid a subpoena,”
“Holy shit,” Bora smiles.
“Have you guys been getting any other press offers?” Chae asks.
“Yeah,” Bora says. She scrunches up her face a little. “It weird to have people ask about my opinion on celebrity fashion,”
“Get used to it. You’re the Co-CEO of a company now,” I say.
The five of us push our glasses together and take a shot to celebrate Bora.
The night ends pretty early for me. Everyone else heads over to the club for dancing but I’m not really up to it.
When I get in around nine, I send Jay a text letting him know I’ll talk to him when he gets up and go shower.
When I get out, I see a message from him telling me to call when I can. I press his number and put the call on speaker phone so I can get dressed for bed.
“Hello?”
“Why are you up so early?” I ask him. It’s almost five in the morning where he is.
“You never called, then I went out to some club that everyone wanted to go to, and then I couldn’t sleep because you weren’t home yet,”
“Shit, I’m sorry, I had a pretty rough start this morning,” I explain while pulling a T-shirt over my head. “Did you at least have fun at the club?”
He yawns. “Not really. It was ok, I guess,”
“What’s up with you?” I ask him. It’s very unusual for him not to have a good time going out.
“I miss you,” he sighs. “I want to come home, and I’m exhausted,”
“Well, go to sleep, Jay. I’m fine you need to sleep before you burn out,”
“I will, I will,” he insists. “I just need something. I don’t know what it is but I just need to hear you,”
I climb into our big empty bed and grab his pillow to wrap my arms around like every other night.
“Tell me about your day,” I say.
“I don’t want to talk about work, Y/n,”
“Well, what do you want to talk about then at five o’clock in the morning-,”
“Where’s Junior?”
I roll my eyes. “Your cat is sleeping soundly in his bed in the living room,”
“Good,” he says. There’s something in his voice that wasn’t there before. “Take your panties off,” he whispers.
I feel my pulse pick up at how deep his voice sounds. I can’t say anything, his words had my own voice caught in my throat.
“I want to hear you come, Y/n. It’s been too long. Is that ok?”
“Yes,” I whisper while easing my underwear off of my hips.
“Touch yourself,”
His voice is so quiet but it still feels like he’s right next to me. I feel a shiver work its way down my spine. I imagine him guiding my hand with his own as I do what he says.
My fingers feel too cold to be mistaken for his. My body can’t be fooled no matter how good his voice sounds in my ear.
“Small circles,” he instructs gently. “Don’t go too fast, I don’t want you to come yet,”
I move my fingers over myself slowly. A small sigh escapes my lips.
“What are you thinking about, baby? I want to hear it,”
*His mouth.*
“Your mouth on me,” I say a little breathless. I feel my heartbeat start to pick up, climbing until I can hear the thumping in my ears.
Jay laughs lightly. He pulls in a sharp breath suddenly. “I miss tasting you, too, sinking my teeth into that part of your hip and your thigh. Can you feel me there right now?” He asks.
I do.
I feel his mouth moving against me, never staying in one area for too long. I feel his teeth scraping across my skin, his tongue soothing away any sting.
“Make yourself come for me, Y/n. I want to hear it,”
I do as I’m told, once again. Touching myself while imagining Jay being home. My fingers tease my body like it’s him entering me slowly.
I focus on his harsh breathing and I’m sure he’s touching himself too like I’m there with him. He moans causing me to squeeze my legs shut. He’s not near to keep them open for him. I take a breath and open them myself, focusing on him, on the sounds he makes in my ear.
“Baby,” he says it so softly that it echoes in my bones. *Baby*. He could destroy my whole world and rebuild it with those two syllables alone. Right now, though, he’s making me come.
“Fuck,” I curse as my body starts to react to him. My legs quiver while I pull at the sheets.
“I bet you look so pretty, right now, Y/n,” his quiet voice brings me down until all that’s left is goosebumps on my skin that he usually soothes away.
“Go to sleep,” he says quietly. “I love you,”
Then he’s gone.
Only, I can’t sleep. I make a list of all the reasons why booking a ticket to America is the last thing I should do right now.
It’s the middle of the week
There’s too much to do
I can’t interrupt his work
There’s not enough time
He’s busy
I’m busy
He’ll be home in a few weeks
“Damnit!” I groan while pulling the pillow on top of my face. I’m weak. So fucking weak. I sit up and grab my computer off of my bedside table.
I check any flights available. There’s one, flying out in forty minutes. *I can’t make it. Between packing, figuring out Junior, finding a way to wherever he is, it won’t work.* All my excuses last for five minutes before I’m up and taking a quick shower. I pull on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt and I’m out the door before I’m even realizing I made a decision.
I call Bora while my car pulls up.
“Yeah?”
“I’m catching a flight, I need you to check on Junior this weekend,”
She laughs and pulls the phone from her ear like I won’t be able to hear her. “You owe me thirty won, Chae,”
She gets back on the phone. “Have a good weekend you lovesick girl. Text me when you land,”
“Am I that predictable?”
“Completely. Go and have fun and when you come back no more moping,”
“Thanks, Bora. I love you guys,”
“Tell Jay I said Hi,”
Without luggage, getting through check-in is quick and easy. All I have is my boarding pass and my purse.
I’m tired, but the thought of seeing Jay doesn’t let me sleep until I’ve been on the flight for at least a few hours. I’m so keyed up that I can’t think of anything other than this possibly being the wrong decision.
The 15 hour non-stop flight is filled with me sleeping and a reappearance of my nervous ticks. My lips feel raw from biting on them and I’ve shaken my right leg so long it’s probably ten times stronger than the left.
When we land Friday afternoon, I head straight to the venue Jay is supposed to play in San Fransisco.
The exhaustion I felt on my flight is nowhere to be felt. I’m too keyed up, too excited to feel tired and I just want to see my boyfriend. It’s been too long; longer than either of us expected. The month flew by so fast at times, but other times it dragged, making it even more obvious just how long he’s been away.
Too long
There’s an ache in my stomach that pulls from somewhere deep. The thought of getting to touch him again, kiss him, there’s too much anticipation. I pull out my ticket for the show, having just missed the long waiting line. My position in the venue is bound to be shitty, but I don’t care. I get my ticket scanned and follow through to the venue full of anxious girls.
I listen to them talk about Jay like he’s the best thing in the world and I feel proud. It’s all he’s ever really wanted. To make music for people and he’s getting to do it. And I’m grateful that he has such devoted fans.
“Hey,” someone nudges me gently. I turn to look at them. “You’re Jay’s girlfriend right?”
The fan waits for the obvious answer to her question. It doesn’t make sense to lie, but I honestly didn’t expect anyone to actually notice me.
“You guys are really cute,” she smiles widely at me.
“Thank you,” I say awkwardly. I’m still getting used to the whole fan interaction thing.
“Why are you all the way back here, though?”
“He doesn’t know I’m here,” I can’t help but grin toward the stage that he’ll be on in another forty-five minutes.
“You’re surprising him?” She exclaims. “That’s adorable. I like you. I think you guys are good together,”
She says this like she’d given me a seal of approval. I guess to his fans who feel a slight ownership over him, they believe that they have to sign off on everything he does. I get it, kind of. Not really but I sympathize. Jay has put most of his life on social media so fans can feel close to him. For some of them, he’s what they look forward to starting their day or at the end of the night.
“You don’t want to be recognized do you?” She inquires.
I shake my head and look around us to see who’s listening. We’re in such a close space that its almost impossible to hear snippets of everyone’s conversation. Still, everyone is engrossed in what they’re saying, no one pays attention to me.
“You should pull your hood over your head. You’re really pretty, Y/n. People will notice sooner or later,”
I do as she suggests and pull my hood over my head, and lower my hat.
“Better?” I ask hopefully.
“Just don’t look at anyone,” she laughs.
“Thanks,” I smile. “Are you here alone?”
She nods. “I don’t have any friends who like Korean music,”
“What’s your name?” I ask her.
“Lauren,”
“Nice to meet you,” I smile. “We’ll be alone together then,”
She smiles back and we wait for the show to start. It’s been a least six months since I watched Jay perform. Every time I watch him it’s like we’re kids again. He’s his happiest and I’m cheering him on.
The show starts and ends so fast, I have to keep my eyes open and on every moment for fear of missing it. I can’t take my eyes off of Jay. Seeing him, finally, it’s like I can breathe again. He’s so far away but not as far as he’s been for the last couple of weeks. Watching him in secret brings a certain thrill as he moves without knowing I’m here. I wonder how frustrated he is that I haven’t called him.
Still, he does well. Better than well. He’s always been a performer. He knows how to build anticipation and deliver. His interactions with fans are cute too.
When the show ends, Jay is shirtless and oblivious and I’m...nervous.
Lauren and I file out to the parking lot.
“You have Instagram?” I ask her.
She nods and spouts off her Instagram username. I follow her and tuck my phone back into my purse.
“It was nice meeting you,” she smiles.
“You too,” I grin. “Thanks for not ruining my secret,”
“No problem. Tell Jay I said Hi,” she laughs while walking toward her car. I watch her get in and safely pull off before I round the parking lot toward the lot where the buses are parked. Getting them to let me on the bus is going to be the hardest part of tonight. I’d rope Chase or someone into helping me but men are worse at keeping secrets than women.
“Ma’am You can’t get back here,”
It only takes seconds for someone to stop me. A guy who looks like he’d rather be anywhere than here making sure a bunch of young girls don’t sneak onto a tour bus.
“I know you won’t believe me but my boyfriend was one of the performers,” I say. I wince at how fake it sounds.
“Listen, you’re the third girl in the last ten minutes. I can’t let you back. I’m sorry,”
“I can prove it,” I say quickly pulling out my phone.
I show the guy a picture of me Jay posted the other day. I hold the phone up to my face and try to pose to look like the picture.
“My plane literally landed three hours ago. I’m just trying to surprise him,”
He shakes his head. “I believe you sweetheart, but I can not let you back there. I’ll lose my job,”
I sigh, closing my eyes and rubbing my temples. My eyes start to burn. I just want to see my boyfriend, dammit.
“Are you crying?”
He groans and takes a small step away from me. I wipe my eyes with the sleeve of my hoodie and wrap my arms around myself.
“I’m sorry. I just haven’t seen him in so long and I miss him so much. I just really needed to see him. My job has been so stressful lately and he got us a cat but I think he sort of hates me because he thinks I sent Jay away. And-,”
“Ok!” He interrupts holding his two hands up like he’s afraid I’m going to fall into a blubbering mess. “I’ll call someone to come get you,”
“It’s a secret,” I pout, sniffing a little.
He nods like he’s placating a child. “I’ll make sure they know to keep it quiet,”
I wait as he speaks into his walkie-talkie. After three minutes of awkwardness, a lady guard comes to bring me back. I thank him before waving as I walk off.
“Which ones your boyfriend?” She smiles at me.
“Jay,” I tell her feeling the butterflies come back as I say his name. “The one with the tattoos,”
“The one who took his shirt off on stage?”
I nod rolling my eyes at his antics on stage. He really does love showing his body off.
“Yep, that’s him,”
“He’ll be happy to see you then. He seems kind of fresh,”
We both laugh as we come up to the bus in the middle. She knocks on the door and we wait.
“I have to wait with you until someone confirms your identity,”
I nod understandingly.
The door opens and I hold my breath waiting to see Jay’s face.
Instead, it’s a woman. She looks confused as she twists her dark hair into a bun. She looks comfortable in sweats and fuzzy socks that says she’s in for the night.
The guard clears her throat, looking over at me awkwardly.
I speak up first. “Where’s Jay?”
“Who are you?” She asks, her eyebrows furrowing.
“I’m his girlfriend. Who are you?”
She ignores my question and crosses her arms over her ample chest.
“His girlfriend lives in Korea.” She comments before adding, “and you aren’t Korean,”
It takes me several seconds of deep breathing to find the patience to keep calm.
“I’m American. Where’s Jay,” I ask again. “And why are you on his bus? Who are you with?”
She smiles, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.
“Chase,” she says.
I resist the urge to roll my eyes at my friends taste in women. It hasn’t developed, unfortunately.
“What’s going on?” Chase comes behind her, wrapping his thick arms around her waist before looking up at me and the lady guard. I wiggle my fingers at him and roll my eyes.
“Holy Shit,” he smiles.
“Do you know her?” the guard asks.
“Holy Shit,” Chase says again smiling wider.
“Do you allow this person on the bus? I need a yes or no answer sir or I have to escort her off the premises,”
“Oh, Yes,” he says like he’s finally snapped out of his surprise. “Actually, we’re getting off the bus,” he says pulling the girl with him.
“Wait, I don’t have shoes,” she exclaims.
Chase throws her over his shoulder and walks toward another bus.
“You kids have fun,” He yells.
“My job is done. Have a good night,” the lady guard says as she gestures toward to the open door. I thank her before climbing onto the bus.
I look around. It’s the first time Jay got tour buses for a tour. It’s big and spacious with a few beds lined up. I hear the shower running and I resist the urge to barge in, knowing he’s so close. Instead, I sit on a couch against the wall of the bus a pick up a Rubix cube that’s laying on the table. I twist it in my hand, trying to calm my racing heart.
Finally, the shower stops running and it takes everything I have in me to wait. It’ll be worth it, I tell myself.
The door opens suddenly. “I don’t think I’m going out. I’m going to call Y/n,” he says. He pulls a T-shirt over his head, still not seeing me, as he heads to the back.
“Lock the bus before you leave if you can,” he calls.
I roll my eyes and smile at how oblivious he is. I stand and make my way through the door he disappeared to. I lean up, watching him collect his computer and his phone charger.
“What if I don’t want to leave,” I say smiling at him.
He turns quickly, his computer falling on the floor and on his foot. His winces in pain before looking back up at me.
I want to be cute and say something quirky, but I can’t think of anything other than how good he looks, his hands on me, and the way he’s looking at me. My feet carry me forward toward him. I reach out to touch his side, running my hand up and down his T-shirt.
“Hi,” I smile up at him.
His hands reach up, cupping my face gently. His thumb runs across my bottom lip, pulling my mouth open.
“How are you here right now?” he whispers.
I pull myself tight against his chest. I can’t stop smiling. He feels good, thicker, more muscled. He’s put the weight he lost during the first week of the tour back on in muscle. I think about my body and what he probably sees. My hips are a little wider, my stomach softer, I have a bit more curves than when he left.
“Surprise-,”
His mouth comes down hard on mine, interrupting the word. He grabs my thighs and hikes me up against his waist easily. His tongue pushes past my lips and meets my own. He tastes so good. A shiver runs down my back as a part of me that’s been needing to be quenched for over a month is finally satisfied.
All of him engulfs me, as he pulls at the hat I’m wearing and throws it on the ground. His fingers tangle in my hair roughly, as he holds me against him. He pulls gently, tilting my head up so his mouth can move down my chin to my neck.
I moan as he touches a particularly sensitive area. His teeth pull at my skin. He drops me on the bed behind us and climbs on top of me. His hands go to my jeans and he gets them off quickly. I pull at his black T-shirt and he pulls it the rest of the way off.
My nails scrap over his skin. He still hasn’t said anything. I want to hear him. As much as I miss his body, I miss *him* more. I need him to say something.
“Jay,” I call to get his attention. He doesn’t look at me, just kisses me so hard that I almost forget what I want.
“Jay,” I say again pulling away from his mouth. “Why don’t you say something?”
He looks at me for a long time before his lips touch mine softly. He draws back and smooths a hand over my forehead to move my hair.
“I can’t focus,” he whispers. “I’m thinking about everything at once. I missed you so much, but today was harder for some reason. I just couldn’t stop thinking about you, and wishing that I could just go home. And then you’re here. Almost like you knew I wouldn’t be able to make it through another day without holding you,”
I reach up and pull his face back down to mine. It’s that same feeling that made me book a plane ticket last minute. I had to see him. It’s like his heart pulled at mine. We needed each other.
“I love you,” I whisper against his mouth.
His own mouth comes down on my neck, suctioning against my skin. I throw my head back so he can have better access. Reaching up, I tangle my hands in his hair that curls slightly because of the length.
“Wait here,” he says. He gets up quickly, leaving me in the middle of the bed. He’s only gone for seconds. When he comes back, a row of foil packets hang from his fingers.
I watch him ease his shorts down his hips before he climbs back on top of me.
“I’m not going to last tonight, Y/n,”
“I don’t care. Just fuck me,” I’m finding it hard to breathe while his hips move against mind. I tilt my hips up and wrap my legs around him, pressing myself against him. Only the thin material of my panties and his boxers separate us, but really it has no difference as I press my core against his bulge.
I reach between us to pull my panties down my hips and off before shimmying his boxers down his own hips a bit. I wrap my hand around him, feeling how soft and hard he is. It never really made sense to me how someone can feel both sensations at once. But here he is, like granite and silk all at once. I reach beside me and grab the row of foil packets before ripping one off. I don’t take my eyes off of him as I ease the latex over him.
He still hasn't moved, but his breath is labored like he's restraining himself. I want him to lose control. I want him to fuck me like he hasn't seen me in almost two months.
I reach up. My thumb goes to his perfect deep pink lips. He pulls the appendage between his teeth and bites gently. "Come on, baby. Let go. I'm not going anywhere, Jay. We get more than this,"
I touch his lips to mine. My legs tighten around his waist. His skin is so hot against mine. He feels like he's on fire.
He pulls back. His hands rest on my hips and his eyes focus on where we connect. Without warning, his hips surge forward. I watch him clench his jaw tightly as holds himself back.
Every move he makes against me is rough and hard. When his pelvis bone hits mine, it starts to burn after a while from his hard it hits. I don't want it any other way right now.
"Yes," I sigh out. My hands grip on his wrists tightly as he holds me. I have no choice but to chase my release. Everything about him is just about sending me over the edge; the smell of him, the little frown between his eyebrows, the way he licks his lips every so often. It's like my favorite movie, shot scored and broadcasted exclusively for me. I grab one of his hands off of my hip and bring it up to my mouth. My tongue flicks out to swirl around his middle finger. When he hits a spot just right, my teeth come down on his skin. He winces, pulls his finger back before kissing me again. It's messy, rough, so full of everything that I can't pull away even as I run out of breath.
"Come on baby, I need you to come for me," his teeth grind together as he talks. He kisses me hard and it's what sends me over the edge. I moan against his mouth as my legs quiver around him. He pulls back, flips me over, and pushes back in. An arm under my waist coasts my ass up in the air. His hands squeeze and kneed at my skin roughly.
Finally, with a loud grunt, Jay comes and collapses behind me. I fall to the bed with his body crushing the air out of me. He rolls so that we lay sideways and he's not squeezing my lungs.
His fingers curl around mine, intertwining with my own. It feels too good to be pressed skin to skin with him again. He’s warm, and soft, and smells like the body wash in our bathroom back home. It smells much better on his skin than mine. I press my lips against his throat and breathe in.
“Did you just smell me?” He laughs pulling back to look at me. I shrug and nuzzle my nose back into the crook of his neck.
“Just let me have this. I’ve been cuddling with Junior for the last month and a half,”
“Why didn’t you bring him,” I can basically hear the pout in his voice.
“I’m sorry,” I sigh. “Next time I’ll send him alone,”
“Shut up,” He laughs.
“Clearly, your girlfriend who flew across your world just to fuck you pales in comparison to your cat,”
Jay’s arms come around me as he lifts my body to straddle his hips. His hand strokes up my body, touching my hips and chest before settling on the side of my neck. I watch his eyes take in my skin. I wonder what he sees. He hasn’t commented on my recent body changes and I can’t help but be a tiny bit worried.
“So I’m just a long distance booty call?” He jokes. “I feel so used,”
“You love your cat more than me,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest. His eyes immediately go to breasts. His tongue comes out to swipe across his bottom lip slowly. I watch as his eyes move over my skin like he’s soaking me in.
“Do you know that you glow?” He asks suddenly.
“What?” I drop my arms, grabbing his hands and lacing our fingers again.
“You glow,” he repeats with a small smile. “I can’t explain it really. You just look like you have a golden light around you. Your face is so lit up right now, it’s like,” he trails off, his brows furrowing.
“You’re so pretty,” he whispers. “I told myself I was going to tell you more often but it’s so obvious that I forget sometimes,”
“I glow,” I smile down at him. I could say the same about him. I’ve always thought that he was light personified. He shines. Whatever he does, where ever he goes; he shines.
His hands slide up to cup my face, pulling me down to his mouth. My chest presses against his skin, while his arms come around me. He kisses me softly, gently like he ‘s telling me something.
“How long are you here for?” He asks.
“I can fly back early Monday morning, so we have all weekend,”
“Where’s your luggage and stuff?”
“I didn’t have time to pack anything. I have to find a store in the morning,”
Jay’s eyes narrow on me, his lips pursed. “You just want to steal my clothes,”
I smile kiss his neck. “You’re right,”
Jay sighs and wraps his arms lightly around my head, holding me against his body. “You can just work from the tour bus like you do at home. Don’t leave,”
“I have a shoot on Tuesday, and I’m meeting with all of your AOMG guys for the award show at some point this week,”
“Cancel. As the CEO of the company, I’m rescheduling the appointments,”
“Nope,” I smile. “You’ll be home in five weeks for your own fitting and the endorsements so I can manage on two and a half days,”
Jay laughs before rolling over so he’s on top of me. “We’re doing Seattle on tomorrow night,”
“I know,” I smile. “We can pretend like we’re in high school again and sneak out of the house to make out,”
His hand pulls at the ends of my hair while his eyes scan my face. The way he looks at me, it’s everything I never knew I could have. Thinking about being with him back home where we started long before we knew where we were supposed to end up.
“I think I caused enough trouble for your parents,”
I raise an eyebrow up at him. “What do you mean,”
“You moved away from home, you get so much shit online, you’re home alone most of the time; because of me, baby,”
“For you,” I correct. “They love you. They always have,”
“Still,” he says with a small smile. “We have to behave. Don’t pout at me like that, Y/n,”
I roll my eyes, sighing. Since when does Jay Park behave himself? He’s the one person in my life I can count on to be down for just about anything, and yet he asks me to behave.
“We’ll see,” I smile up at him.
He groans and buried his face into my shoulder. “I know you, Y/n. You’re going to make every moment we’re with your parents absolutely hell for me,”
I stay quiet, smiling to myself. He’s right.
Ruin The Friendship (part VI)
Title: Ruin The Friendship (mini-series) Part 6
Word-Count: 6.7k
Pairing: Jay Park/ Reader (kinda)
Summary: Best friends to lovers. Inspired by Ruin The Friendship - Demi Lovato.
Genre: Smutty Fluff
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
I try to hide the smile on my face as Jay is scolded by his mother on the other end of a phone call. She barely lets him get a word in. Instead, his mouth is left open, little sounds coming out to interject.
“No, Eomma, I didn’t mean to keep it from you,”
My conversation with my own parents this morning went pretty much the same way. My mother scolded me for not telling her Jay and I had gotten together finally. My father had asked me to keep the public displays of affection to a minimum, in reference to the picture that has now been posted on almost every Korean blog site, and even some Americans sites.
There are also photos of me at Jay’s events popping up from the depths of the internet, all of my social media accounts have doubled in following, and there’s been a few younger girls trailing around my apartment and office. No one seemed to care when I was the friend from back home. As much as I thought none of this would be an issue, it’s turned out to be a bit inconvenient for me. I wouldn’t say it’s life-changing, I would just rather not have kids coming up to me to ask me about my boyfriend.
“Ok, we’ll make a trip soon. I promise. Yes, Eomma, I love you too. She loves you too. We’ll see you soon,”
Jay sighs as he finally hangs up. He sits on the edge of my bed and falls back, his head resting on my thigh. I reach out, running my hands through his hair.
“She thinks we’re getting married by next year. You also owe her an explanation so prepare for when you head back home,”
I laugh. “Yeah, well my dad’s not too happy that there’s a picture of me with some guy’s hands gripping my ass while he tongues my throat,”
Ruin The Friendship VII
Title: Ruin The Friendship (mini-series) part 7
Word-Count: 6.6k
Pairing: Jay Park/ Reader (kinda)
Summary: Best friends to lovers. Inspired by Ruin The Friendship - Demi Lovato.
Genre: Smutty Fluff
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6
“Someone pushed the story without me, Y/n. I can promise you that whoever had access to my files will be found and repercussions will be done,”
Gina Waters has been trying to contact me for the last two days. I’d blocked her number, email address and purposely found her social media accounts just so I could block her on them as well. I was feeling quite bitter a day and a half ago. It seems like Gina has made it her mission to speak with me considering this is the fourth unknown number she’s tried to call me with. The only reason I answered was so that I can tell her that I’m definitely pressing harassment charges if she continues to contact me.
I sigh pressing the phone to my ear. I stand up, trying to ease out of Jay’s massive bed as quietly as I can. I pull a pair of his basketball shorts and pull them on before slipping out of the room.
Because of Gina Waters, my apartment has been deemed as no longer safe by my very protective boyfriend. The few young girls who were outside sometimes doubled overnight, and they aren’t as nice as before. I don’t understand Korean completely but I know when I’m being insulted. Jay hasn’t let me walk to work in the last two days and I’m exiled to his apartment once again much to his pleasure.
Ruin The Friendship V
Title: Ruin The Friendship (mini-series) Part 5
Word-Count: 5.1k
Pairing: Jay Park/ Reader (kinda)
Summary: Best friends to lovers. Inspired by Ruin The Friendship - Demi Lovato.
Genre: Smutty Fluff
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 6
I leave Jay’s bed in the morning before he even wakes up. I thought I was ok last night, that I’d come to a resolution, but when I opened my eyes and felt his arms around me all I felt was how cold he was last night. I spent my life brushing Jay’s antics under the rug, forgiving his actions as quickly as they came solely because it’s what I thought I was supposed to do as his friend, his best friend.
Today I feel a little betrayed. I’d always given a hundred and ten percent of myself into the relationship between us back when it was only platonic. I couldn’t help the hurt deep in my chest at the inkling that he had been accusing me of maybe wanting the attention or even choosing it over him.
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Ruin The Friendship (part I)
Title: Ruin The Friendship (mini-series)
Word-Count: 4.5k
Pairing: Jay Park/ Reader (kinda)
Summary: Best friends to lovers. Inspired by Ruin The Friendship - Demi Lovato.
Genre: Smutty Fluff
Part 2 Part 3
“Are you home?”It’s been a while since I’ve heard his voice. When I moved to Seoul to further my career as a stylist, I imagined that I’d see my best friend who incidentally lived in Seoul a lot more often. As the head of not one but two independent record labels, Jay is busier than I could’ve ever expected. If he’s not working at the studio, he’s doing a show, if not that he’s shooting for some high fashion magazine. His schedule is so packed that it’s a miracle when I get a phone call every few days, a luxury that I appreciate considering he’d much rather text me.
I sandwich the phone between my ear, careful to not burn myself on the leftovers from last night that I’m taking out of the oven. “Yeah, I just got in probably twenty minutes ago. What are you up to?” I ask him.
I could never be over how proud I am of him. I’d grown up with him back in Seattle talking about all of our dreams, and though he never planned to do this he’d always wanted to be big. I used to go to his b-boy tournaments, now he’s this big star with a billion and one projects under his belt.
“Can I come over?” I pause. “What? Where are you? I thought you were helping one of your artists with promo in Malaysia or something,”
“I was but I’m home now and my house is empty,” he whines. I can imagine him pushing his pink lips out in a pout.
“You mean your bed is empty and you have nothing better to do, so you want to come and raid my fridge,” I correct.
“Exactly, baby. Are you busy?”
Like I’d tell him if I were. Its been a good few weeks since I’d laid eyes on him briefly at a club appearance he’d been working. Probably two months have passed since we’d actually spent any time together. I’d be crazy not to jump at the opportunity no matter what I have going on.
“No, come over. Bring alcohol and chocolate ice cream,” I tell him. I look down at the sad pan of lasagna that seems less appealing. “And bring food too,” I add.
He laughs lightly, promising to see me in a little bit. I take advantage of the little time I have to straighten up my small one bedroom apartment. I know Jay won’t care, but there’s always been a part of me that aches to have him see me as an adult. It’s a funny thing; being friends with your childhood best friend. They know too much, the can tell when you aren’t 100% honest, and they could revert you back to the child-like headspace with just a look. I’ve always felt the need to have myself look put together particularly around Jay. He’s always known what he’s wanted out of life. And he’s always known the best paths to get there. For me, I’d tried too many things out, failed at so many options. When I moved to Seoul, I promised that I would focus on being the adult little me would want to have been. I’m succeeding I think. I’m happy, content at least. There are things I have that I’m grateful that I’ve been able to achieve. For the most part, I’m living my best life, but there’s always one part of me that’s never completely satisfied.
I pretend that I’m ok with it a lot. I pretend that I don’t think about him for a good part of my day. And I pretend that I’m not still a little in love with my best friend. Jay and I have always raised questions. No one really knows what to make of our relationship. On the outside looking in, I think it’s a bit more obvious than the two of us give ourselves credit for. There’s always been chemistry, an undeniable connection that has me wishing that there were a bit more going on. After he’d moved back to Seoul the second time, I’d given up my infatuation. He was so busy building his name back up while I was trying to move on with my own life. And it worked for a while, but then he’d become so much more than that shy talented kid I’d grown up with. He developed both mentally and physically into more of a man than I could have hoped for. At some point, while we lived on opposite sides of the world, the flame that had dwindled down to an ember, had been sparked again. He grew up. We both did. And somehow we’d reunited in South Korea.
Ruin The Friendship (part IV)
Title: Ruin The Friendship (mini-series) Part 4
Word-Count: 6.4k
Pairing: Jay Park/ Reader (kinda)
Summary: Best friends to lovers. Inspired by Ruin The Friendship - Demi Lovato.
Genre: Smutty Fluff
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5
We fall into a routine.
He’s working on an album right now on top of tons of collaborations. In the morning, I can account for him to be either at the studio or the gym. I work at my studio with Bora preparing for award season. We book a lot of consultations and do hours of research to the point that we could name menswear by designer from this season.
At night Jay’s at the studio. He works into the morning often, sending me snippets of him singing riffs. Sometimes, he’s at my door at two o’clock in the morning, a sleepy smile on his face. Other times it’s me, climbing in his bed waiting until he slips in beside me.
We talk a lot. We talk about how different our lives are compared to how we thought it would be. We talk about each other, we talk about love and hope, and wanting more still.
We have sex; slow, hot, and tired; rough, knee-shaking, fucks; quick mid-day romps that leave us wanting more but holds us over until we can get our hands on each other again.
Most importantly, we laugh. I’ve long since gotten used to the universe knowing that I’m in love with my best friend. Sometimes I wonder exactly what it is about him that made it essential for me to love him the way that I do. I don’t think I’ll ever really get an answer. I just know that he’d always meant to be apart of my life. From childhood to adulthood, we’d found each other again and again.
Ruin The Friendship (part II)
Title: Ruin The Friendship (mini-series) Part 2
Word-Count: 5k
Pairing: Jay Park/ Reader (kinda)
Summary: Best friends to lovers. Inspired by Ruin The Friendship - Demi Lovato.
Genre: Smutty Fluff
Part 1 Part 3
He leaves with a kiss in the morning. I’ve been hyper-aware of his body presence through the night, clutching his body against mine. At some point between two am and three, I’d pulled off my T-shirt and the underwear he’d taken the time to get. We’d made love in slow, lazy, sleepy pulls. Silently, he touched my body like he’d been born to do so. His mouth had moved against my skin so tenderly that there was no mistaking what it meant. Love is easy to fall into. You fall in love at least a hundred times a day; with the sky, the moon, the feel of somebody’s hands touching your body. I think Jay fell in love with my skin. Even as he pulls away, his fingers press against the side of my neck, drawing me closer to his mouth. Light streams in through the peek behind the curtain that I never bothered to close last night. I groan as he stands upright, pulling his boxers and sweats back into place. I watch him move around my room, picking up my discarded clothes. I can only imagine what his day entails with so many artists depending on him. As much as I wish he’d stay in bed kissing me dumb, it’s highly unlikely. Finally, when he’s done cleaning up our late night mess, he stands beside my bed, hovering over me once again. “I don’t want to go,” he whispers. His face falls into my neck when I wrap my arms around him. The thick duvet between us is the only thing keeping my bare chest from touching his. I run my fingers over the wings that cover the lower back of his scalp. My nails scratch against each line slowly. “I don’t want you to go,” I say around a yawn. “I’ll try my best to stop by tonight. I have a flight to New York tomorrow morning,” He grabs my bottom lip, pushed out in a pout, between his teeth before running his tongue against mine.
