#roxas writes

you can run but you cant hide 

from the person that you thought you were all this time 

and i thought you were who you knew yourself to be 

but turns out even though i still write i dont know how to rhyme 

the you without me 

and for years ive been the one to get hurt 

but the rotating shit hole we live on 

finally pulled me down into the dirt 

and smeared blood of the guilty on my chest 

thinking that if no one wins then i need to be ultimate sinner with no rest 

i feel bad and i don’t know what to do 

even though the one who’s making sure i suffer is you 

im over here fucking hating myself and all i can do is think

about all the things that we said we would do 3 years down 

while you sat on the couch sending me off to drown 

i love you and im sorry but we have to let all this go 

im tired of the crying and the punch to the gut 

telling you and telling me to just make it hurt all better 

because the truth is unlike what you’ve heard im not happy now 

because all i can think about how at the end of every shit show all i take from it is a bow 

and i colored inside the lines just like you said 

Would choke on air, completely shocked and mind blown at seeing you. Takes him a moment to regain his composure before going overboard with compliments. Can’t stop complimenting you throughout the whole night: Joshua, Hoshi, Seokmin, Dino

Doesn’t say anything for a while besides, “You look wonderful,” Would probably prefer the regular you rather than the fancy you. Continues to pepper you in cute compliments, though, because he always thinks you look beautiful: S.coups, Wonwoo, Woozi, Seungkwan, Vernon

Flirty!! And a little teasing, “Wow, my baby can be beauty and the beast,” He would joke before giving you a kiss, “I’m only kidding you look beautiful no matter what.” Takes lots of pictures of you to show you off to the guys: Jeonghan, Jun, Mingyu, Minghao

thank you so much for requesting!! i forgot i had this, so sorry for the wait ^n^ ive just had a lot of schoolwork 

do you know your own worth without someone telling it to you first? it’s not exactly an age old question, but it’s definitely something that’s come up in the past generation or two. can you really love yourself without someone else loving you first, to show you the good parts of you, to understand that there’s something more to you. 

But can you see it on your own? in reality, I think we all see the good in ourselves, but sometimes it’s just been beaten out of us so hard that we force ourselves to forget. otherwise, there’d be no such thing as “deserving” and “undeserving” people. isn’t the reason we get upset because we see ourselves working so hard when no one else does? we’re the only ones who know the full extent of our trials before the audience of whatever higher power does or doesn’t exist. guiltyguiltyguilty. bouncing off the walls as we’re sentenced to social execution, the slowest and most painful death of them all. how can I be forgiven for something I never did? I’ve been wrongly prosecuted. it wasn’t me. i love you. i love you just as much as i have learned to love myself. I knew how to love myself, no one had to teach me that. I just wanted someone else to see it too.

I want you to love me like I always knew I loved myself before. before that snicker, before the slap, before I was clawing at the walls screaming for someone to love me because I can’t be alone, I don’t want to be alone anymore. 

And I can’t help but wonder if people really do care the way I do too, somewhere deep down, or maybe it’s Not That Deep after all, and it’s just boiling on the surface, the lid of the pot barely covering it, but still there. And perhaps we look for each other in others. For instance, every time someone claims to not love me, they end up finding me in someone else immediately after. She has the same tiny gap between her two front teeth that I do. It’s small but it’s there. He has the exact same birthday as me, April 5th 1996. They have that same never-ending giggle that you’d always ask me about while giggling yourself. And I can’t help but wonder: why? Did you really not know, or did you ignore it on purpose?