#wifeposting

Sometimes after you’re married you and your spouse will take a nap together and you’ll wake up to your spouse jiggling your belly and singing the words “you got tofu all up in this bitch” in a really sweet voice, and if that happens it’s important to tell the singer that she’s beautiful and has never done anything wrong in her entire life or she will cry and then you’ll need to snuggle her while she’s all tear-soggy and that’s different than the other kinds of soft a wife can be.

i let them hit because they're effortlessly cool and voluntarily kind and sexually compatible and emotionally mature and so very funny and always in my corner and invested in us and without shame and the one for me and the hottest girl i've ever laid my eyes on and silly despite it all and packing major dong and my best friend

yeah ok i have fed @dumtranskitty-3 weed and i am now convinced that drugs are a form of religious sacrament for plural people. she spontaneously developed a new headmate called Doll who was immune to being tickled and did not react to having a sharp point drawn over every inch of her skin and refused to say anything except "a doll is still". apparently drugs is how you unlock the prestige tier headmates